


careful

by RobinMediocreFellow



Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan
Genre: Also I think some of the ages are wrong, Definitely using this to work through some stuff, M/M, Paramedic!Will, Tattooartist!Nico, There's defo some smut in this, This is basically therapy lmao, Writing this because im lonely, kinda sad, solangelo, teacher!Jason, very gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-09
Updated: 2018-06-05
Packaged: 2019-03-15 22:32:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 40
Words: 93,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13622865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RobinMediocreFellow/pseuds/RobinMediocreFellow
Summary: Will has spent the last years of his life with and taking care of his boyfriend Luke. But during his night shift, he scoops up a certain young man and somehow gets involved in his life. Over time, he realizes that love can be so much more than what he thought it was.





	1. Chapter 1

Will was on the night shift today and so far it had been pretty quiet and his shift was almost over. There only had been a few drunk people and one fist fight that they had to take care of. Will was just hanging out in the ambulance with his partner Austin, playing cards when they got a call.

When they got to the emergency Will jumped out the ambulance first. A young man was laying on the sidewalk, unconscious. Will kneeled down next to him to feel his pulse. It was very low. His skin was cold and his wrist was worryingly skinny. Will lightly shook the boy's shoulder.  
"Can you hear me, Sir?" No response. Will shook him a little more forcefully. Still, no reaction. Austin got down next to him.  
"I talked to the lady who called 911" he informed him. "She said he just dropped and passed out."  
Will nodded "He's unresponsive. His pulse and temperature are very low, too"  
Austin stood up. "Let's get him to the hospital." 

As soon as they had started driving, Will started searching the young man's pockets for an ID. He found a phone. It was password protected but there were a few messages displayed on the lock screen. A number saved as 'aquaman' had texted 'where are u??'. Luckily, Will could respond to the messages without having to unlock the phone, so he texted 'aquaman' to 'call this number please'.  
Aquaman must have been very worried about the boy because he called almost immediately. Will put him on speaker. 

"Are you okay?" A man's voice asked as soon as Will answered the phone. 

"Hello, my name is Will Solace. I'm a paramedic of the Apollon Hospital, who's this?" 

"My name is Percy Jackson... did something happen? Why do you have his phone? Is he okay?" the man rambled.

"Your friend was found passed out and unresponsive. We are currently on the way to the Apollon Hospital. What's your friend's name?" Will asked him.

"His blood sugar is dangerously low", Austin informed Will. 

"His blood sugar is what? Will he be okay?" Percy asked through the phone.

"What is your friend's name?" Will repeated.

"Nicholas di Angelo. Will he be okay?" Percy insisted.

"We're doing the best we can. Sir, would it be possible for you to meet us at the hospital?" Will tried to calm him down but from what he could hear through the phone, the man was hyperventilating. 

"Yeah, I can do that. I'll be there in like ten minutes, tops." Percy rambled. Will could hear him trying to breathe calmly. 

"Okay, sir. I'm going to hang up now, so I can take care of your friend, okay?" Will said slowly.

"Okay..." Percy sounded close to tears now. 

Will ended the call and turned to his patient. They were almost at the hospital anyway. Nicholas di Angelo's pulse was still very low. He instinctively took his hand and squeezed it a little. The boy's face was pale, with long black hair sticking to the cold sweat on his forehead. His lips were almost blue. He looked really sick. Will let go of his hand started to unhook him from the machines, since they had arrived at the hospital. Austin took over to bring the boy into the emergency room. 

Will followed closely after, keeping an eye out for this Percy Jackson Dude. But so far, no one was around. The ER doctors had put the patient behind one of the curtains and when Will entered, he was already in a Hospital gown and hooked onto several machines, including an IV. 

"Why are you in here?" A voice asked behind him. It was Michal, his brother and a doctor in the ER. Will turned around to speak to him.

"I talked to his friend on the phone and he'll come here. I thought...", He tried to defend himself but Michael just nodded. 

"I understand", he said. "Just don't get into tge way", he winked at Will and pushed past him to get to the patient. 

"What's the diagnosis?" Will asked. He looked down at the boy. He was skinny, his skin was pale. But even though he looked sick, Will thought he was cute. His blue lips were full, he had long, dark eyelashes and a very juvenile looking face.

"Malnourished and dehydrated", Michael said. "I'd say he hasn't eaten in days. No wonder he passed out."

"Oh dear", Will mumbled to himself. He reached for the boy's hand and squeezed it. Poor thing. Michael noticed and raised an eyebrow at him. He always scolded Will for being unprofessional and getting too attached to patients but Will couldn't help it sometimes. 

A nurse stuck her head through the curtains.  
"Someone is here to see Nicholas di Angelo", she said. 

"Thanks, Katie", Michael said. He nodded at Will as if to say 'you're up'. 

As soon as Will entered the waiting room, a man approached him. He was tall, with messy black hair and piercing green eyes. His voice was deep as he spoke.

"Are you Will Solace? I'm Percy Jackson." He said hastily.

Will nodded. "You can see your friend in a moment. Don't worry, he's gonna be okay." He knew he wasn't supposed to say things like that, it was unprofessional to make promises, but Will didn't care. Percy nodded. He played with his fingers nervously. 

"Okay, okay...", he said, his breathing was quick.  
"Do you know what's wrong with him?" 

"He seems to be malnourished and dehydrated." Will said reluctantly. Percy buried his face in his hands. He was close to hyperventilating now. 

"I should have never left him alone..." he mumbled. His voice was breaking as if he was about to burst into tears. Will carefully laid his hands on the man's shoulders and rubbed them lightly. Behind them, Michael entered the room.

"You can see him now, Mr. Jackson", he said. He must've gotten the name from the nurse. Percy nodded. Will dropped his arms and stepped out of the way. He followed Michael and Percy to Nicholas di Angelo's room. As soon as Percy saw his friend, he was at his side, crying into his chest. 

"I should have never left you alone... I'm so sorry...", Will heard him sob. He fought the instinct to walk over there and hug a stranger. Michael turned towards him. 

"Don't you have a night shift to attend to?" he asked. Will held up his wristwatch. 

"Actually, it ended like five minutes ago", Will grinned at him in triumph. Michael rolled his eyes at him but he couldn't hide his smile. His pacer buzzed and he quickly excused himself from the room. 

Percy was still crying into the boy's chest. Will stepped close to him and laid a hand on his shoulder. Percy looked up at him. 

"I should have never left him alone", he sniffed. Will squeezed his shoulder lightly. 

"Don't beat yourself up", he said warmly. Percy just sniffed.

"I should have taken better care of him... I'm all he has left", Percy mumbled. Will carefully led him to the only chair in the room. 

"Sit." he said. Percy plopped down onto the chair. Will sat on the floor next to him. 

"He'll wake up won't he?" Percy whispered after a moment of silence. Will nodded.

"His body is just very exhausted at the moment, but I'm sure he'll be up soon", he said. Percy nodded. They were silent again. Will wondered if Percy wanted him to leave. He considered getting up and walking out when Percy spoke again. 

"So how long have you been a paramedic for?" he asked Will. 

"Three years", Will replied. "Everyone is my family is some sort of doctor. My brother Michael, he's the doctor that treated your friend and my sister Kayla is a nurse." 

Percy nodded. "I'm a lifeguard and swimming coach. I... I was away the last week, teaching a swimming class in the school my friend teaches at... I thought Nico would be fine on his own for a few days", he snorted. "Guess I was wrong."

Will thought for a moment, not wanting to darken the mood even more. But before he could say anything, Percy spoke again:  
"I thought he'd be okay on his own... I mean I called him every day to see how it was going but when I got home today he was gone and now he's in the damn hospital... and next month I have to leave again... we need the money, I can't stay home and I can't take him, he has work..."  
Will didn't think before he opened his mouth when he said:  
"Hey man I know this is weird, but if you need someone to be here and to like check on him sometimes... I could give you my number." 

Percy looked at him like he was crazy for a second but then he shrugged.  
"That would be great actually... you seem like a good guy and you're a paramedic you can take care of people."

Will was surprised but enlightened. Something about Nico had fascinated him and he was glad to help. Just as they were exchanging numbers, Nico started to wake up. He stirred and as his eyes shot open, he began to panic and tried to rip out his IV. Will jumped to his feet and ran over to him. He hit the button to call for a nurse and then turned to Nico. His heart skipped a bit when his eyes met Nico's. They were large and dark and in this moment, they were full of fear. 

"Where am I?" He asked. His voice was husky, almost as deep as Percy's, and it was melodic. His dark eyes searched around the room and his whole face lightened up when he spotted Percy, who had stepped up to the bed. He reached out for Percy's hand and suddenly, Will felt like an intruder in their private moment. He quietly left the room as soon as the nurse arrived. He went to get a coffee and just hung out in the break room, talking to nurses and doctors. 

About an hour later, Michael entered the room.  
"This Jackson Dude is asking for you, Bro", he informed Will. Will looked at him in question and Michael just shrugged. 

He met Percy at the front desk, where he was filling out some paperwork. He greeted him with a simple "Hey". 

Percy looked up at him and smiled.  
"Hey", he finished the form he was filling out and put down the pen.  
"I just..." He ran a hand through his hair, leaving it even messier than before. "I wanted to thank you for taking care of him. And for offering your help. Means a lot to both him and me."

Will smiled. "It's no big deal, really. I mean, that's my job, isn't it?"

Percy shrugged. "Yeah, but offering to take care of him isn't. Thank you, really. I wouldn't have known what to do if he got bad again and had to be alone."

Will nodded. "I understand."

Percy laughed nervously and scratched the back of his head. "Anyways, I gotta take off now. They're keeping him here for a while to get his vitals up and I tried to make my co-worker cover my shift, but that guy is honestly a dick." 

Will nodded again. "Alrighty" He almost said Percy 'could text him if he needed anything' but that seemed a bit much. 

Percy popped up the hood of his blue sweatshirt and waved, then turned around and walked out. 

Will stood there for a second, frozen. It had been a long night but to him, it was worth it if he had helped someone. And he had.

He briefly considered just going home to go to bed, but then he changed his mind and turned to the front desk instead to ask for Nico di Angelo's room number.

When he quietly entered the room Nico had been transferred to, Nico seemed to be asleep. Will stopped in the door so he wouldn't wake him and just looked at him. He was sleeping on his side, with his back turned towards Will and his long hair covering his shoulders. His skin was visible through the open back of the hospital gown and even though it still was really pale, it looked a lot healthier than when Will picked him up. Will smiled to himself and turned around to leave, when he heard the covers shift behind him.

"Who are you?" A voice asked behind him. Will turned around. Nico had sat up in bed and was looking at him, his arms wrapped around his torso as if he was cold. 

"My name is Will Solace. I'm one of the paramedics that brought you here." Will spoke softly so he wouldn't scare Nico off.

Nico nodded slowly, then he lighty tilted his head to the side. "Wait, are you the guy Percy mentioned? That's supposed to watch over me when he's not around?" 

"Yeah that's me", Will said carefully. Nico didn't answer. He nodded as if he was thinking thoroughly. 

"I didn't think he'd have that little trust in me now", Will heard him mumble to himself. 

"I'm sure he's just worried", Will tried to reassure Nico, but he just shook his head. 

"I disappointed him..." 

Will didn't know what to do. He carefully went over to the bed and laid a hand on Nico's shoulder. Nico looked up at him. He looked tired.

"I'm okay", he said and shrugged Will's hand off. "I just want to catch some sleep now, okay?" 

Will nodded and backed off. He awkwardly waved at Nico.  
"Good night, Nico"

Nico didn't answer. He had fallen asleep already.


	2. Chapter 2

It had been a few weeks since Will had met Nicholas di Angelo and following a strange intuition had offered his help to Percy Jackson, who he assumed to be Nico's boyfriend.  
He had started working the night shift almost exclusively after the almost constant fighting with his boyfriend Luke had just gotten too much. After another particularly bad fight he was sitting on the balcony, staring at Luke's ashtray on the small table. He hated his habit of smoking. He could hear Luke inside their apartment. He was crying. He always cried after fights. Will didn't. He sighed and got up, slowly making his way inside. Luke was sitting in the kitchen, a glass of whiskey in his hands and tear stains on his cheeks.  
"Hey", Will said carefully. Luke looked up. His eyes were bloodshot and his mouth was frozen in a scowl.  
"What?" he said coldly. Will flinched.  
"Are you okay?"  
Luke set his glass down and cracked his knuckles. "Do I look okay?"  
Will bit his lip. "I... I'm sorry, honey." He wasn't even sure what they had been fighting about, but he knew he had to apologize to make it okay. Luke sighed. He took another sip of his whisky and patted his knee.  
"C'mere", he ordered. Will reluctantly sat on Luke's lap and Luke immediately pulled him close, planting a wet kiss on his cheek. Will smiled weakly, glad that things seemed okay now. He watched as Luke grabbed the glass again and emptied it. As soon as he put the glass down, he grabbed Will's face and kissed him. Will kissed back to please him and quickly, Luke's hands were under his shirt and in his jeans, cupping his ass. Will reluctantly pulled away.  
"I'm not really in the mood, Luke..." he said.  
"Shut up, yes you are", Luke mumbled and kissed him again, slipping his hand inside Will's underwear this time. Will let out a small squeak as he squeezed his ass, which made Luke chuckle. He picked Will up and carried him to the bedroom. As Will fell backwards on the bed, he spoke again.  
"Honey, I really don't feel..."  
Once again, Luke interrupted him.  
"You love me, right?" Will nodded.  
"Then please..." Luke kissed him "Please let me fuck you, baby boy"  
Will didn't dare to answer. Luke kneeled over him, smirking. He reached up and pulled off his shirt in one swift motion, then unbottuned his jeans. He leaned down and kissed Will's neck, unbuttoning his jeans and sliding them down. He didn't touch Will's shirt because he knew it would freak him out to be shirtless. It was an unspoken rule and sometimes, Will felt like it was the only rule Luke ever respected. He moaned as Luke slipped a hand into his underwear, jerking him off. Only a few minutes later, Luke was on top of Will, thrusting into him, his hand in his hair and his lips on his neck. 

When Will woke up the next morning, Luke's side of the bed was empty and the room smelled like smoke. Luke only smoked inside if he was in a depressive episode. Will knew bad times were coming, but for now, he just wanted a moment of peace before his day began. He turned over and checked his phone. There was a message from Percy:  
'Hey man it's Percy. Call me i need u'  
Will read the message a few times. He guessed Percy was going to be out of town and needed someone to take care of his boyfriend Nico. After a few more moments of laying around in bed, he got up and got dressed in his paramedic uniform. He was covering Austin's day shift today, which was the reason he was able to be at home last night. When he entered the kitchen, Luke was slumped against the counter in his usual manner, a beer in his hand.  
"Morning, sweetheart", Will smiled at him and kissed his forehead, before opening the fridge to make himself a sandwich.  
"Who's Percy?" Luke asked, his voice slurred. Shit, was he drunk already? This wasn't good. It was eight AM.  
"Just a friend, honey", Will said. "He's got a boyfriend, and so do I." He smiled at Luke. Luke didn't return it.  
"So he's into guys?" Luke asked, his eyes narrowed.  
"I have to go to work now", Will finished making his sandwich and grabbed his water bottle.  
"I love you", he kneeled down and kissed Luke, tasting the alcohol on his lips. Luke didn't say anything. 

As soon as Will was in the car, he pulled out his phone and called Percy. He picked up almost immediately. 

"Will! Thank god", Percy greeted him.  
"Hey, what's up?" Will asked as he started the car.  
"I'll be out of town for a week... and I'm worried about Nico."  
"So you want me to stop by and check if he's okay?" Will guessed.  
"If it isn't too much to ask for", Percy said quickly. Will could hear splashing water and yelling children in the background. He remembered that Percy worked as a swimming coach.  
"Nah, it's cool man. Don't worry about it", Will said. He could hear another man speaking to Percy.  
"Alright, I gotta go, thanks man!" Percy said quickly. Before Will could say anything else, Percy hung up on him. A few minutes later, he received a message from Percy containing his adress. 

Five and a half hours later, Will was back home, unlocking the front door to his and Luke's apartment.  
"Honey, I'm home!" He shouted as he closed the door behind him.  
"Hey babe", Luke said as he stepped out of the kitchen, a half eaten granola bar in his hands. He was still in his police uniform and the smell of smoke lingered in the room.  
Will threw his keys into the key bowl and leaned over to kiss Luke. He tasted like granola and smoke.  
"Do you want to... get out of that uniform and...?" Luke asked him, smirking.  
"I actually need to go..." Will mumbled and ran a hand through his hair.  
Luke frowned. "It's not about that Percy guy, isn't it?" Will wished Luke would stop looking through his phone.  
"No, no! Austin needs me. I don't know how long it'll take..." Luke raised an eyebrow "But I'll try and be back as soon as I can, I promise!" Will said quickly.  
Luke nodded slowly and edged closer to Will. "But you should take a shower first... you smell like blood and vomit"  
Will nodded in agreement. 

An hour and a blowjob in the shower later Will pulled up to Nico's and Percy's place. It was a small flat in a more dangerous part of town. The doormat had a dolphin on it. Will knocked on the door and was greeted by a tired looking Nico di Angelo. Will awkwardly waved at him.

"Hey remember me?" He smiled.  
"You're Will. Percy made you come here", Nico said briefly. His voice made Will shiver. He had forgotten how raspy it was. He liked it.  
"Come in", Nico moved aside so Will could walk through the door. The place was cozy, with a lot of mismatched furniture and photos on the wall. On second glance, Will noticed the dirty dishes and empty bottles. Nico looked like a mess, too. Dark circles under his eyes, his hair greasy and tangled and he was only wearing one sock. Will frowned.

"Are you okay?" He asked. Nico shrugged. Will waved him closer.  
"Can I please check your vitals? You look sick"  
Nico shrugged again, but stepped closer. He was definitely dehydrated.  
"You should eat something. When was the last time you ate?"  
Nico shrugged a third time. "Like, yesterday?"  
Oh, dear.  
"I'm going to make you something to eat. Are you allergic to anything?" Nico shook his head. Will set down his bag, which really just contained a first aid kit, his laptop and a sweater, and walked over to the kitchen. At least the fridge was full. Percy probably filled it before he left. After a small meal, which was eaten in silence, Will checked his phone for the first time since he arrived. He had several missed calls from Luke. Shit. Nico had fallen asleep on the couch, so he called Luke back while cleaning up the apartment a little.  
Luke was pissed that he had not called earlier and Will could tell by his voice that he was drunk. After a few minutes of fighting, Luke brought up Percy again.  
"Luke, honey, please, I told you, I'm at Austin's and Percy has a boyfriend!" Just as he shouted that into the phone, Nico endered the kitchen, looking groggy. He opened his mouth to say something, but closed it again when he realized what was going on.  
He walked past Will silently and grabbed a juice box from the fridge. He looked like an angry emo toddler, Will thought. He was cute. He immediately cursed himself for thinking that. He had a boyfriend after all. Luke was still yelling at him over the phone and Will was just listening silently. Without saying a single word and while still sipping his juice box, Nico reached out, took his phone and hung up the call. Will's jaw dropped as he gave him the phone back.

"What the heck?" Will looked at Nico in shock and took his phone back.  
"Percy doesn't have a boyfriend, you know. He's straight. And in a long distance relationship with a girl", Nico said.  
Will blinked a few times. His phone started ringing again. Luke. Nico took the phone again. He turned it off. Before Will could protest, Nico opened his mouth.  
"Is that your boyfriend?"  
Will nodded. Nico frowned.  
"Was he drunk?"  
"Yeah... since his diagnosis he started drinking... a lot." Will didn't even know why he was telling Nico this. But it felt good to get it off his chest.  
"Cancer. Not terminal, but still nasty. He even had to step back at work. He slipped into pretty severe depression because of it."  
Nico nodded slowly. "He still shouldn't yell at you like that"  
Will did not answer. He finished the dishes and grabbed a juice box. They drank their juice boxes in silence.  
"If you don't want to go home, you can sleep over. Just saying", Nico said quietly. Why was he offering this? They barely knew each other.  
Will shook his head. "No, it's fine. He's really sweet, actually. Depression is just a bitch sometimes."  
"Tell me about it", Nico laughed. It was the first time Will had heard him laugh. He liked it. His laugh was as low as his voice and just as melodic. It made Will smile. He looked at the clock on the wall. Eight PM.  
"I should probably go home, it's getting late" Will said. Nico shrugged. He gave Will his phone back. Will hadn't even realized he still had it.  
"Thanks", Will grinned. He finished his juice box and threw it away. Nico gave him a small wave as he left the kitchen.

Will only turned on his phone when he was in the car. There were a bunch of texts from Luke. They started out angry but got sweeter and more apologetic over time. Still, Will was scared of how mad Luke might be. The drive home was a short one, Nico and Percy didn't live far away from Will.  
Will's fingers were shaking as he opened the door, he could hear music playing inside. Piano tunes. Oh no. Never a good sign. Not again, please not again. Luke was not in the kitchen or the living room. When Will entered the bedroom, he immediately noticed the steam coming from the bathroom. He could hear the shower running over the piano music. Oh no. Will dropped his bag and ran to the bathroom. 

Luke was sitting in the shower, fully dressed, leaning against the tiles, an almost empty bottle of wine stood next to him. His eyes were closed and his arms were draped across his stomach. His blue shirt was wet and stained.  
"Luke!" Will shouted out and reached for the shower handle to turn of the water. Luke barely reacted. Will kneeled next to him, cupping his face in his hands. His eyes were still closed and his breathing was shallow.  
"What is that smell?" Will asked him. Luke weakly moved his arm. A stream of red ran down his shirt. Will's eyes widened. Shit.  
"Luke... you didn't..." Will shakily reached for one of Luke's arms and turned it over to see the inside of his wrist. They were slit. Will was close to bursting into tears, but now he needed to be paramedic and not a boyfriend. He managed to stabilize Luke, luckily he was a pretty tall and muscular guy, so his body could deal with the blood loss.  
"Luke, I should call an ambulance", he told him and was already reaching for his phone when Luke reached out with a bloody hand and stopped him.  
"Please, baby boy, no hospital", he mumbled. Will got weak at the pet name.  
"Fine", he mumbled reluctantly. "But please, let me patch you up, at least. I don't know if these cuts could heal if you don't get stitches."  
Luke shrugged weakly. Will sighed and got to work. 

An hour later, Luke was in bed, barely concious from the blood loss and the pain medication Will had given him. Will was sitting at his side, a tea in his hands and tears in his eyes. He had ditched his night shift to take care of Luke. Eventually, Luke fell asleep and Will crawled into bed next to him.


	3. Chapter 3

Will woke up to Luke snuggling up to him. This was a rare occasion. Luke usually wasn't this cuddly. Will winced when he remembered the events of last night. Next to him, Luke stirred. Will kissed his forehead and he opened his eyes.  
“Morning, baby boy“, he purred. Will smiled.  
“Good morning, honey“, he whispered. Luke grinned lazily.  
“My head hurts“, Luke complained. Will chuckled.  
“It'll get better soon“, he promised. Luke nodded slowly. Will kissed him softly.  
“Wait here“, he whispered. “I'll be back in a sec.“

He got up and walked towards the door. Luke whistled at him, making Will realize he was only wearing a shirt and his underwear. A few minutes later, Will returned, holding a tray. Luke sat up in bed.  
“Is that... breakfast in bed?“ He asked, a smile on his face. Will nodded.  
“God, I love you“, Luke whispered as Will sat the tray down on his lap and he grabbed Will's face to kiss him. Will kissed back, his heart beating. He was glad to have made Luke happy. He pulled away and took one of Luke's hands in his, running his fingers over the bandage on his wrist. It made his heart ache.  
He watched Luke eat his breakfast. He never ate breakfast himself, it made him nauseous. He had texted Percy last night, telling him how it went and Percy asked him to stop by every day. Will was okay with that, he had actually enjoyed taking care of Nico. The apartment was cozy and he liked being there... and being away from Luke. He loved Luke, he loved him with all his heart, but he had been a lot to deal with recently.  
Next to him, Luke finished his breakfast and put the tray on his bed side table. He edged closer to Will and Will could feel his body heat. Luke sneaked an arm around Will's waist and planted a kiss on his cheek. And another one. And another one.  
“Baby boy...?“ Luke purred.  
Will smiled. “What?“  
Luke hooked a finger into the waistband of his briefs and sucked at Will's neck.  
“You know what“, he whispered and cupped Will's cheek in one hand, turning him towards him to kiss him. Will kissed him back, his hands on the back of Luke's neck, pulling him closer. As soon as Luke's hand was in Will's pants, Will was in heaven.

A few hours later, Will knocked on Nico's door. Nico answered the door moments later, wearing a hoodie and pyjama pants. His hair was tied up into a bun.  
“Hey there“, he greeted Will and stepped aside to let him in. Will went straight to the kitchen, Nico followed him. He leaned against the door frame and watched as Will made himself a coffee. He felt strangely comfortable in the apartment. As soon as the coffee was ready, he drank it in one go without even waiting for it too cool down.  
“Long night?“ Nico chuckled. Will nodded.  
“You fought again?“ Nico asked, his eyebrows furrowed. Will didn't answer immediately.  
“Something like that“, he mumbled. Nico nodded slowly.  
“You eaten yet?“ Will changed the subject. Nico shook his head.  
“Me neither. Let's have breakfast, you wanna help me cook?“ Will enjoyed this role of a caretaker.  
“Sure“, Nico nodded. They started rummaging through the kitchen, Will humming a small tune. After a while, Nico pushed up the sleeves of his zip up hoodie and unzipped it halfway. Will noticed with a flip of his stomach that Nico was wearing nothing underneath. His chest was covered in tattoos, just like his arms. He noticed him staring and laughed.  
“Don't you have a boyfriend Will?“  
Will laughed to cover up the fact he was blushing.  
“You seem happy today“, he said.  
“I slept alright and I managed to take my meds today“, Nico shrugged.  
Will frowned. He stirred the oatmeal one last time and then poured it into two bowls.  
“What meds are you on?“  
Nico quietly left and returned with a box of pills. He handed them to Will.  
“Why did you ask?“  
“In case you faint on me“, Will shrugged “Percy asked me to take care of you, so I'll do my best“ 

They ate their breakfast in front of the TV and did the dishes together afterwards. They held smalltalk while washing the pot and Will learned that Nico was a tattoo artist, but at the moment was only working on demand, so he spent a lot of time alone in the apartment. Luke called Will around one and a half hours after Will had left him at home and Will went onto the balcony to talk to him. Luke seemed fairly annoyed that Will wasn't at home and after Will had promised him some make-up-sex to cheer him up, he was able to hang up and go back inside. 

He found Nico asleep on the couch. His hoodie was completely unzipped, showing off his tattoos, his hair had become undone and was framing his face. He looked cute. Except for a stain on his pants. Will tilted his head lightly. It looked like oatmeal. Nico had thrown up on himself. Poor boy. Will slipped his phone into his pocket and kneeled down next to Nico. He nudged him lightly. Nico's eyes fluttered open. 

“Hey buddy“, Will whispered. “You threw up“  
Nico looked down at his pants.  
“Aww fuck“, he hissed.  
Will frowned. “You okay?“  
Nico covered his face with his hands. His fingers were shaking. “Just some circulatory issues. My meds make that happen. That's why I rarely take them'“  
“You should take a shower. I'll get you some Gatorade“, Will said  
Nico nodded. He shakily rose from the couch and, with Will's help, made it to the bathroom. A few seconds after he shut the door, Will heard the shower running.  
He took a few moments to snoop around Nico's room. The bed was unmade and the walls were covered in drawings. Will recognized a few of them to be the same as Nico's tattoos. He had spent an embarrassing amount thinking about them. And about how he was skinny, but muscular. Woah, Will. You barely know the guy. Slow down. One of the tattoos on the walls that caught his eye was a trident. It seemed so familiar. Where had he seen this before?  
“I did that one for Percy“, Nico said behind him. Will jumped.  
“Jesus Christ, where did you come from?“  
“The bathroom“, Nico chuckled. His hair was dripping wet, and he was only wearing a giant blue sweater and fuzzy black socks. He looked adorable.  
“Is that Percy's sweater?“ Will asked, grinning.  
Nico shrugged, smiling sheepishly.  
“Are you sure you're not boyfriends?“ Will laughed.  
“Nah, Percy's too straight for that“, Nico chuckled.  
“And you're... not?“ Will asked carefully. For some reason, he wanted to know.  
Nico didn't answer. He silently wrung out his hair, getting water all over the carpet and then tied it up. As he raised his arms, his sweater rose up enough, to reveal the hem of a pair of black boxer briefs. Will looked away, blushing.  
“I should get going. Luke needs me at home“, he mumbled and walked past Nico. When he reached the front door, he heard Nico speak once more.  
“I'm not... straight“, he said awkwardly. Will turned to him and he shot him a small smile.  
“Percy keeps telling me it's nothing to be ashamed of, so... here I am, embracing it, I guess“, he mumbled.  
Will smiled. “Thank you for telling me“  
He didn't know what else to say. Nico didn't seem to either. He waved awkwardly.  
“Take care, Will“, he said.  
“You too, Nico“ 

Will was still smiling when he came home. He doesn't even know why, but he was really happy. He had not felt this good around a person in a long time. Or this comfortable, even though he barely knew Nico.  
The happy feeling ceased as soon as he entered the apartment and was immediately greeted by Luke, who pushed him against the wall and kissed him.  
“Hey honey“, Will greeted him.  
“Hey“, Luke said briefly, then smashed his mouth into Will's again.  
Will dropped his bag and grabbed Luke's face as Luke started unbuttoning Will's jeans. Will let it happen. He enjoyed it. Of course he did, he loved Luke, he reminded himself. His hands wandered from Luke's face to his chest. He grabbed his shirt and pulled Luke closer, slipping his tongue into the kiss. He felt Luke moan and it made his lips tingle. As he slipped his hands under Luke's shirt he felt Luke pull away.  
“I love you“, he whispered. 

Will's heart skipped a beat.  
“I love you“, he breathed and kicked off his shoes. Luke, now shirtless, grabbed him by the hips and pulled him in again. Will cupped Luke's cheek in one hand, running a hand over his stubble. His other hand rested on Luke's abs and he felt them tense up as he bit his boyfriend's lip. Luke pushed Will against the door again and Will wrapped his legs around his hips again, his arms around his neck.  
“I love you“, he told Luke again and in response, Luke grabbed his ass and carried him to the bedroom.

As soon as Will was laying on the bed, Luke was kneeling over him, attacking his neck, while both were taking their pants off. It only took seconds until Will's head was bobbing up and down, with Luke's hand in his hair, tugging and pulling at it, his other hand touching Will.  
Only moments after that Will was on Luke's lap, Luke thrusting into him, his hands tugging at his shirt to pull him in for hungry kisses.  
Will came in Luke's hand, moaning his name, but his mind was filled with images of zip up hoodies and swirly tattoos.

Later, while Will was making coffee to take on his night shift, Luke stepped close to him from behind and snaked his arms around his waist. He was holding a bottle in his right hand and his breath smelled like beer as he kissed Will's shoulders through his shirt. Will chuckled.  
“Since when are you so affectionate, honey?“ He mumbled.  
“Well, I gotta compete with Percy now, do I?“ Luke whispered and rested his chin on Will's shoulder. His stubble brushed against Will's neck.  
Will sighed and turned around in Luke's arms, their noses brushing for a moment. He tried to peck his lips, but Luke dodged him. Will sighed again.  
“There's nothing going on with Percy, I told you. Also, could you please stop looking at my phone?“  
Luke raised his eyebrows.  
“It is my right as your boyfriend to know what's happening in your life“, he said sternly. Will didn't answer. He didn't know what to say. Luke was the only person he had ever dated, but Luke had had so many boyfriends and girlfriends that he obviously was the more experienced one. Also, Will was only 21. Luke was 26.  
Will squirmed in Luke's embrace.  
“Honey, I have to go. My shift starts in like, 30 minutes“  
Luke smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes.  
“Aren't you glad you are still able to work? Healthy enough? You wouldn't cheat on your cancer stricken boyfriend, would you?“  
Will flinched. He could feel Luke's hands digging into his back.  
“No, I wouldn't, of course not“, he rambled. “I love you, Luke“  
Luke just looked at him coldly, then quickly placed one hand on the back of Will's head and pulled him in for a kiss. The kiss was rough and there was nothing affectionate about it. It left Will breathless and not in a good way. As soon as Luke let go of him, Will grabbed his now cold coffee and hurried out of the apartment.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning after his shift had ended, Will was sitting in his car. He had been sitting here for five minutes, smelling like blood and vomit and contemplating what to do. Usually, he'd go home, have breakfast with Luke and probably end up doing something sexual, because that just was what Luke loved to do. But after what had happened last evening... he didn't want to be around Luke. He wanted to be around someone who made him feel comfortable. Happy. His siblings were no option. Kayla had just gotten married and he'd feel like an intruder, Michael was working and Austin would just wanna go home and sleep after the night shift. Most people would just go to a friend's, but Will didn't really have friends. Most of them were either scared of Luke or Luke hated them or both. This included his siblings.

Somehow, Will found himself in front of Nico's door. It was only after he had knocked that he asked himself what the hell he was even doing here. It was six AM, the sun had not even risen yet, he was in his uniform, he was tired and upset and he had only really known Nico for two days. He briefly considered just going home and had already turned around to leave when the door opened.

“Will?“ Nico's voice was even raspier than usual. 

“Hey...“ Will smiled at him sheepishly. Nico tilted his head in cofusion.

“You're here early... in your uniform...“ Nico spoke slowly. He narrowed his black eyes. “And either you've been crying or you're very tired. Did something happen?“

Will shrugged. “Kinda...“

Nico moved aside like he usually did. Will stepped inside, dropping his bag in his usual spot next to the door. Nico shut the door and crossed his arms. Will only now noticed that he was only wearing sweatpants, that were hanging dangerously low at his hips and a giant blue zip up hoodie, that definitely belonged to Percy and that he definitely should zip up if he wanted Will to stop staring. Nico cleared his throat. Will blushed and looked up.

“You okay?“ He asked. Will played with the zipper of his jacket. 

“I don't know...“ he mumbled. God, what was he doing here?   
“I'm sorry, I should go“, he ran a hand through his hair. Eww, was that vomit in his hair?  
“I barely know you, I shouldn't pester you with my problems“, he turned towards the door.

“Hey“, Nico stuck out an arm, blocking his path. Will noticed the letter B tattooed on his thumb. He turned back to Nico.

“You can tell me. You've been taking great care of me for the last two days, now I'm taking care of you, okay?“ Nico said quietly. It was obvious that he was nervous about this situation. Percy said he was the only one Nico had left. Maybe Nico was just as lonely as Will was. Will nodded slowly. 

“Thanks“, he mumbled and smiled at Nico.

Nico smiled back, his cheeks tinted light pink all of a sudden. Suddenly he frowned.  
“Is that vomit in your hair?“ 

“Yeah, I usually shower right when I get home...“

“Well, feel free to use my shower. I'll get you some of Percy's clothes, okay?“ Nico offered.

“That'd be great“, Will sighed, smiling. 

Twenty minutes later Will entered the kitchen wearing another one of Percy's blue hoodies and a pair of sweatpants. Nico was sitting on the counter, a juice box in his hands. What was it with the juice boxes?

“Hey“, Nico greeted him. Will noticed he still hadn't zipped up his hoodie. He tried his hardest not too look at the swirly tattoos covering Nico's chest. 

“Hey“, Will ran a hand through his damp hair. “Did you take your meds today?“ He had seen the pill bottles in the bathroom. Nico smiled at him. It was such a warm, genuine smile, that it warmed Will's cheeks. He wished Luke would smile at him like that.

“Look at you taking care of me“, Nico was still smiling. 

It made Will blush. He wondered why. He was probably just worked up. He barely knew the guy, why was he concerned about his well-being?

“Now, I should take care of you“, Nico hopped off the counter and set down his juice box. “Because that's what friends do, don't they?“ 

“I've known you for two days. Does that count as friendship?“ Will raised his eyebrows. 

Nico stepped closer and poked a finger at Will's chest.   
Will's breathing hitched.  
“Don't you put a damper on our friendship, sunshine boy“, Nico scolded. 

Involuntarily, Will flinched at his tone. Nico looked guilty immediately. 

He dropped his hand and took Will's in his for a moment before letting go again.   
“Sorry...“ Will's hand tingled. “Also, technically, we've known each other three days and a little“ Nico smiled again and Will could feel his cheeks warm up again. 

“Well, did you take your meds?“ Will asked after a moment of silence. 

Nico shook his head.   
“Nope“

“Go take them. Now“

“Only if you tell me what's wrong“, Nico crossed his arms. 

“Fine“, Will sighed in defeat. Nico chuckled and walked past him. Their shoulders brushed. 

“Hey“, Will called after him.

“Yeah?“ Nico turned around on his way to the bathroom.

“Are we really friends?“ 

Nico was silent for a moment, then he smiled.  
“Yeah, we are“

After Nico had taken his medication and they had had a small breakfast, Nico grabbed Will by the sleeve and pulled him into the living room. Will sat on the couch and Nico on the coffee table. He folded his hands and grinned at Will.  
“Now tell me whats wrong“, he demanded. 

Will shrugged. “Just a fight with Luke... it kinda stuck with me throughout the night...“ 

“Wait, were you working all night?“ Nico asked bluntly. 

Will nodded. 

“Man, aren't you tired?“ 

“Incredibly tired“, Will laughed, Nico joined in. 

“You can take a nap here, if you want“, he offered.  
Will just smiled. He stared at his lap. This was so weird. But a good kind of weird.

“So about that fight...“ Nico said slowly.

“...right“, Will told Nico what had happened yesterday evening. He didn't even know why he was so comfortable talking about such things with him, but he was.

Nico was quiet for a few moments. He was chewing on his lip. Will got nervous. Just as he was about to overthink everything he had ever done or said, Nico spoke.

“You really don't deserve to be treated like that“

Will frowned. “No, it's okay. He loves me, I know that. He's just dealing with a lot, you know cancer, depression... I'm not perfect either, I mess up a lot, you know?“ He noticed he was rambling and stopped. 

Nico didn't answer. He just looked at Will with narrowed black eyes, his arms crossed across his now unfortunately zipped-up-hoodie-chest. Will stared back until Nico started chewing on his lower lip. That was too much for Will. He looked down at his fingers. The sun was finally rising, he could see the light flooding the room. He could hear Nico chuckle and looked up. 

Nico was looking at him, smiling, his black eyes sparkling.   
“Now you really are a sunshine boy“, he reached up and ruffled Will's hair. 

Will could feel his cheeks heat up. Nico chuckled again. He pulled back his hand and Will kinda wished he had left it there. He yawned. God, he really was tired. 

“You should take a nap“, Nico said and stood up. “I'll get you a blanket“

When Will awoke hours later, he didn't know where he was at first. When he realized, he panicked. He sat up so quickly it made his head spin. 

“Nico?“ He called out. He swung his legs over the edge of the couch and called again. “Nico!“ Nico stuck his head out of his bedroom. 

“What?“ 

“What time is it? How long have I been out for?“ Will was now standing up, and looking for where he had put his uniform.

“About four hours, why?“ Nico leaned against his doorframe, his eyebrows furrowed. 

Will groaned and ran a hand through his hair. Luke was going to be so pissed.   
“Where did I put my uniform?“ 

Nico pointed over his shoulder.  
“I think it's still in the bathroom“

“Can you please come get it? I need to get home“, Will was pretty much tearing out his hair right now. Nico shot him a worried glance, disappeared for a moment, then returned with his uniform. 

Five minutes later, Will was in his uniform. He was standing by the door, his bag in his hand and checked his phone for the first time. He had a few missed calls and a lot of 'where are you' texts from Luke. Oh god. This was bad. Nico was leaning against the kitchen door frame with another juice box, watching him.   
“You okay?“ 

When Will didn't answer, he walked over and reached out to take Will's hand and stopping him from once again tearing his hair out. 

“Luke is gonna be so pissed“, Will looked up at Nico. He realized he was still holding Will's hand, but somehow he didn't mind. It was incredibly soft. 

Nico didn't say anything, he just looked at Will in worry. He let go of Will's hand and placed his on his shoulder. 

Will only now realized that Nico was almost a head shorter than him. He smiled. Nico smiled back at him. The moment lasted a little longer than it should have.   
Finally, Will broke the silence:  
“Take care of yourself. Eat lunch. And a juice box isn't lunch“ 

Nico laughed.  
“You take care, too. Don't let him treat you like shit okay?“ 

“He's not treating-“ Will interrupted himself when he saw Nico raising an eyebrow at him. Still, he didn't think Luke was treating him badly, he was just under a lot of stress. Will smiled weakly. He turned around to leave, but Nico cleared his throat, so he turned back to him. He saw Nico take a deep breath, then he opened his arms. 

“Hug a friend goodbye?“ 

Will chuckled and leaned down to wrap his arms around Nico, who stood on the tips of his toes to rest his chin on Will's shoulder. He could feel the stubble on Nico's cheeks against his cheek. It made him blush. When Nico let go of him, Will spotted a tint of pink on his pale cheeks. 

A few seconds later, when the door had closed behind him, Will touched his cheek. It was tingling. His hand was tingling, too. Actually, his whole body was tingling. The tingling turnt into a feeling of guilt when his phone vibrated, signaling another text from Luke. Will wanted to slap himself. What was he doing? Sleeping over at other guy's places, hugging them? His cheeks were burning again, but this time it was shame. 

He drove home in silence. When he reached home, he sat in the car for a few seconds, preparing himself. He didn't even know for what, but it had become a habit. Still, things were okay. Luke and he were in love. After having convinced himself of that, he made his way up to the apartment. When he unlocked the door he realized he was still wearing Percy's hoodie under his jacket. He cursed himself and ripped out a few strands of hair. 

“Will? Is that you?“ Luke called from the living room. Oh no.

“Yes, honey“, he called back, quickly wrapping his jacket around himself to cover the hoodie.   
“I'll be right there sweetie, I just need to take a quick shower!“ Yes Will, good plan, he told himself as he kicked off his shoes and hurried to the bathroom. As soon as the bathroom door closed behind him, he heard Luke get up in the living room. Hurriedly, he took off his jacket and the hoodie and dropped it on the floor so the jacket would cover the hoodie. Right on time. Just as he was tending to the zipper of his pants, the bathroom door opened. 

“Hey, baby boy“, he grinned. He edged closer and placed his hands on Will's back, being careful not to touch Will's bare chest. He leaned down and kissed Will. Will could taste the alcohol. 

Luke was smiling as he pulled away.   
“Thought I'd join you“, he laid a hand on Will's cheek. His palm was rough and full of scars; the police officer's hands that sixteen year old Will had fallen in love with. 

“Whatcha thinking 'bout?“ Luke whispered and kissed Will again. 

“You. Us“, Will smiled. “That I love you“

Luke chuckled.   
“Well, I was just thinking about how glad I am to see you topless for once“, he smirked. The hand on his back pulled him in closer until their hips were touching. 

Will got nervous when he realized how turned on Luke was, but since it would distract him from the hoodie, he grinded his hips into Luke's. 

“Oh, I like that“, Luke whispered, then smashed his lips into Will's. 

It didn't take long for them to undress each other and soon enough, Luke was pinning Will against the cold tiles of their showers. Luke's chest was touching Will's chest, but Will tolerated it as Luke's hand drove him crazy. A few I love you's later, Will was one his knees, his mouth where Luke had put it.

Will got out of the shower first, quickly threw his uniform in the laundry basket and the hoodie into his bag where Luke wouldn't find it, then plopped down on the bed in a shirt and sweatpants, just playing on his phone. Luke joined him shortly after, laying there in his underwear and sipping a glass of whiskey. It was Wednesday, his night off. Will soon dozed off, his fingers interlocked with Luke's. 

He woke up to the sound of Luke yelling. Before he had even completely opened his eyes Luke was already standing next to the bed, shaking something blue in his face.

“What the fuck, Will?“ 

Will had never heard Luke sound so cold, so full of hate.

“Whose is this?“ Luke hissed. He pressed the fabric to Will's face, covering his nose and mouth. Will took a panicky breath but he could barely breathe. The hoodie smelled like Nico's and Percy's apartment, like swimming pool and like cologne. Luke climbed onto the bed, kneeling over Will like he usually only ever did during sex. He let go of the hoodie, relieving the pressure from Will's nose and mouth. Will gasped for air, the smell of the hoodie quickly getting replaced with the smell of alcohol, sweat and smoke. Luke grabbed a fistful of Will's shirt, not even flinching when the fabric loudly tore. 

“I asked you a question, baby boy“, Luke whispered, his voice dangerously low. 

Will flinched at the pet name. Suddenly, it sounded like the worst thing in the world to him.   
“It's... it's Austin's!“ he squeaked, now close to hyperventilating. 

Without a warning, Luke slapped him hard across the face. Will winced in pain, his head toppling to the side.

“Don't lie to me, baby boy“,  Luke tore at his shirt one more time, tearing the fabric some more.   
“It says Percy Jackson on the back“, Luke punched him in the face again, leaving Will with the taste of blood in his mouth.   
“So you are cheating, aren't you?“ 

Will just squeezed his eyes shut, expecting another blow, but nothing happened. Luke left a few claw marks across Will's chest, then got off him. After a few seconds of silence, Will opened his eyes. Luke had left the room. Will could hear him in the kitchen.   
As quickly and quietly as he could, Will got off the bed, grabbed the hoodie and his phone, then tiptoed through the hallway to the front door. He put on the first pair of shoes he could find, his paramedic boots, and grabbed his keys. He was sure Luke had heard that, but he seemed to ignore it. Good. Only when he was in his car, Will finally allowed himself to cry. He sat there, letting the tears fall. Soon, he found himself at the door of the only place he felt safe right now; Nico's apartment.


	5. Chapter 5

He must have been a sight for sore eyes as Will knocked on Nico's door. His eyes were puffy, his lip was bleeding and he was wearing Percy's hoodie, sweatpants and boots with no socks. It took a few minutes for Nico to open the door. 

“Will? It's one AM...“ He mumbled and rubbed his eyes. When he noticed the shape Will was in his eyes widened.   
“What happened?“ 

Will just sniffled. He felt something trickle out of his nose and into his mouth. It smelled and tasted like copper.   
“I... I think I'm bleeding“, he said softly. 

Nico just reached out, grabbed Will by his sleeve and pulled him inside, shutting the door behind him. Will leaned against the wall, buried his face in his hands and took a deep breath. He felt Nico's soft hands wrap around his wrists. He carefully pulled Will's hands away from his face. Will looked down at him. Nico smiled softly. He was still holding Will's wrists. Will looked down at their hands. His were stained with blood, Nico's with black ink. 

“I'm bleeding“, he repeated quietly. Nico chuckled softly. 

“You are“, he let go of Will's wrist and gently wiped the blood off Will's face.   
Will winced.

“Sorry“, he mumbled and dropped his hand. Will just looked at him. He was in a daze. His body felt limp. His knees were shaking. He slid down the wall and just sat there. 

Nico kneeled down next to him, looking worried.  
“What happened?“ He asked softly. 

Will looked down at his lap. He suddenly realized he was still wearing Percy's hoodie and panicked. This hoodie had caused all of this to happen. He didn't want it on him. He scrambled to take it off. His hands were shaking. As soon as it was off, he threw it across the room. It landed on the couch. He heard Nico gasp.

“Will, your shirt“

Will looked down. His shirt was in shreds. Most of his chest was exposed. It was riddled with red scratch marks. Will instinctively covered his chest. 

“Here, take my jacket“, Nico said softly, shrugging of his fluffy black cardigan and handing it to Will. 

Will didn't even put it on, he just pressed it to his chest. 

“Will, what happened?“ Nico asked him again. 

Will almost told him the truth, but somehow, he felt that it was wrong to call his boyfriend out like this, so he lied.  
“I, uh... I took a late night walk and... got mugged. It's my night off. That's why I wasn't working. I was walking. And got mugged. Didn't have my wallet on me, so they couldn't steal it“, putting the words together felt like trying to grasp smoke. 

Nico didn't look convinced, but didn't say anything. 

Will shakily reached up and wiped some blood off his lip. 

“We should get you cleaned up“, Nico said softly and got up. He held out his hand for Will to grab and Will reluctantly took it and pulled himself up. Nico sat him down on the couch and got a wet towel. He cleaned off Will's face and hands carefully. Will winced in pain a times and Nico apologized profoundly every time. When they were done with the face and hands, Nico handed the towel to Will.  
“Those scratches need some cleaning, too“, he told him. Will nodded slowly.  
“You want me to leave you alone for a moment?“ 

Will nodded again. He stared at the towel in his hands. He was glad Nico was giving him this moment of privacy. He had a boyfriend after all. Undressing in front of another man was not an option. He only looked up when he heard the door to Nico's bedroom shut and began by slowly peeling the cardigan off his chest. He carefully took off what was left of his shirt and started dabbing at the scratches. They weren't very deep, but had already turned puffy and burned. Not good. Will took his time. He didn't want to put his shirt back on, so he just wrapped himself in Nico's cardigan. Nico was still in his room, so Will got off the couch and knocked on his door. 

“Just come in“, Nico called out. Will carefully opened the door. Nico was sitting at his desk, leaning over a piece of paper. Will stepped closer and saw that he was sketching a mermaid. It was an amazing drawing.

“That's incredible, Nico“, he said softly. 

Nico looked up. He smiled. 

“It's for Percy“, he said. “His next tattoo. His other ones are over there“ He waved his pencil towards a space on the wall. It was covered in sketches, just like most of the rest of Nico's room. Will recognized the trident Nico had shown him before. Other sketches showed song lyrics, fish and the names Estelle and Tyson.

“Wow, Percy really likes water“, Will said, more to himself than to Nico. 

“Mhm“, Nico replied from his desk.

“Who are Tyson and Estelle?“ Will asked, turning towards Nico.

“His siblings“, he replied, looking up from his sketch. “Tyson is 23, Estelle is eight. Percy is 22. The mermaid is gonna look like his mom“  
Nico held up the sketch. Will nodded slowly then he frowned.

“How old are you?“ he asked Nico, who had already returned to his sketch.

“19“, Nico didn't even look up. 

Will was surprised but didn't say anything. He sat on the edge of the bed, suddenly realizing how tired he was. He fell back on the bed, closing his eyes for a moment. Right now, he didn't care he'd only known Nico for three - four and a little - days, he didn't care he was in the bed of a man that wasn't his boyfriend. He only cared that he was tired and in pain. 

He didn't remember dozing off, but when he woke up the sun was already up. He woke up in Nico's bed, tucked in, an ice pack on his face. His chest still stung. He shook the ice pack off his face and took a few deep breaths. The bed smelled like Nico; a mixture of ink, coffee and... pomegranate? He smiled to himself. This was the first morning in almost a year that he didn't wake up to the smell of cold smoke, or Luke yelling, drinking or groping him. He closed his eyes for a few more seconds, enjoying the peace. The smell of coffee intensified as the door opened with a creaking sound. Will opened his eyes and saw Nico leaning against the door frame like he always seemed to do. 

“How are you feeling?“ he asked, his eyebrows furrowed.

Will shrugged, which made his chest sting. He gestured to the bed. 

“You... we didn't...?“ 

Nico shook his head. “I took the couch. After all we've only known each other a few days“   
He chuckled. 

Will grinned. His smile dropped when he imagined how Luke would react if he shared a bed with another man.   
“What time is it?“ he yawned. 

“10:30“, Nico replied. “You want coffee?“ 

“Sure“, Will sat up in bed. He realized the cardigan had slipped off his shoulders, leaving his chest exposed. The skin around the scratches was red and swollen. He subconsciously covered the scar on his abdomen like he always did whenever he was topless. 

Nico brought the coffee to his bed. He sat on the edge of the bed and stared at the wall as Will drank his coffee. Will looked at Nico. He looked tired. Dark circles under his eyes, sunken in cheeks, chapped lips. His face was even stubblier than yesterday. Will cursed himself for being an inconvenience to Nico. He was supposed to be taking care of him, not the other way around! 

“Nico“, he asked slowly, “Did you take your meds today?“ 

Nico nodded. 

“Are you okay?“ 

Nico shook his head. He kept running his thumb over the B tattoo on his hand. 

“This is what it's usually like. Depression“, he said quietly. “It's been a few good days... but now it's back to wanting to die.“ He snorted.

Will flinched at his words. He couldn't help but think of Luke's last attempts. Nico didn't seem to notice. Good. He was upset enough already. Will sipped his coffee. His eyes were fixed on the B. It was crooked and scarred. Nico noticed him staring and covered the tattoo with his hand. Before Will could apologize, Nico spoke.

“This was my first tat. Stick and Poke. I was 15“

Will didn't know what to say.  
“How many tattoos do you have?“ He asked carefully.

“I don't know. Never counted. More than ten.“ Nico mumbled. “Do you have any?“

“No“, Will spoke quietly. “Luke doesn't allow it. But he has a sickle on his left pec, it's pretty neat. And a bunch of golden lines, like a maze.“

Nico nodded slowly. “Wait, what do you mean he doesn't allow it?“ 

Will shrugged. “He always says he doesn't want me to get tattooed, because he likes how innocent I look... That's just how he is. I don't mind, I don't even want a tattoo, they're cool but not for me, you know?“ He was rambling again. 

Nico just nodded again, even slower than last time. 

“Have you eaten yet?“ 

“No“, Nico replied.

Will put down his mug. “Then let's make some breakfast“

Nico convinced him that they should just have cereal and juice boxes. They ate in the kitchen, Will leaning against the fridge, Nico sitting on the counter as they held light conversation. Will learned that Nico had been tattooing since he had graduated high school one and a half years ago and that he technically wasn't fully trained yet, which is why he worked mostly on demand. 

“Rachel, my boss, is pretty chill. She owns the parlor“, Nico told him through a mouth full of cereal. 

“So, how long have you been living with Percy?“ Will asked as he took a sip of juice.

“Since I was 15“ Nico munched. “He was my baby sitter when I was a child and after-“ he stopped talking and swallowed his mouthful of cereal. 

Will knew he shouldn't ask further.  
“I met Luke when I was 16 and he was 21“, he said to change the subject. “I was a junior in high school and he had just graduated from the academy.“ Will smiled to himself, playing with the ring on his hand. “I moved in with him right after I graduated. My brother Austin got me into paramedics training“

Nico smiled weakly. He put his empy bowl down and hopped of the counter, then started putting the dirty dishes into the dishwasher. Will handed him his empty bowl and grabbed his juice box. It was only half empty. 

“I should probably get home“, he said. Nico turned towards him. 

“Okay“, he replied. His face was blank. 

Will turned towards the door, but Nico grabbed his arm. 

“One last thing“, he said. Will turned back around and raised his eyebrows at him.

“Lemme give you my number“, Nico said, his cheeks tinted pink. “In case you get mugged again“

Will smiled. He pulled his phone from his pocket and handed it to Nico, who handed it right back.

“You didn't unlock it“

  “Oh, I don't have a passcode. Luke asked me not to so he knows he can trust me“ Will explained and gave him back the phone.

Nico gave him a weird look and took the phone. He typed in his number and handed it back. Will smiled at him, Nico smiled back. Both their faces were red. 

Nico walked him to the door. Will was wearing his torn shirt and his sweatpants. He didn't dare to bring home another piece of clothing that wasn't his. He opened the door but didn't walk out right away. Instead he turned around, leaned down and gave Nico a careful hug. The shorter boy hugged him bag straight away, careful not to come in contact with his chest. Will once again noticed the scent of pomegranate. He liked it much better than the cold smoke he knew from Luke. When he pulled away from the hug, they were both looking at their feet sheepishly. Nico's cheeks were pink. Will's face was burning hot. He chuckled awkwardly and Nico joined in. 

“I'll see you tomorrow, okay?“ he whispered.  
Will nodded. As he walked out the door, he heard Nico chuckle again, but when he turned around, the door was already closed.

Will parked his car in front of his apartment and just sat there for a moment with the the engine already off. He took his time to mentally prepare himself for Luke, like he always did. He pulled out his phone just to have a reason to spend some more time in the car. As soon as he unlocked it, a contact popped up. Nico. The app was still open from when he had put in his number. Will smiled when he saw that Nico had put a little ghost emoji next to his name. Adorable. Will scrolled through his contacts absent mindedly, god knows there weren't many. Michael, Kayla and Austin, his parents, who rarely texted or called anyway. A few coworkers, Percy, Nico and Luke. Will stared at the heart emoji next to his name. He forced a smile. This was the man he loved. He put down his phone and stared at the ring Luke had given him on their third anniversary. He ran a finger over the ring, then the bruise on his cheekbone. Luke's ring had struck him there. Still, he loved him. More than anything. He wasn't going to let one fight damage their relationship. Will took a deep breath and wiped away a tear he hadn't even realised was there.


	6. Chapter 6

When he unlocked the apartment door, he heard Luke's voice from the living room. But he wasn't yelling, he was laughing. It made Will smile. His smile became confusion when he heard a second man laugh. Who was that? Will couldn't remember the last time Luke had had someone over. He quietly took off his shoes and made it about halfway through the hallway when Luke called out:

“Will, is that you?“   
Will froze in his tracks. He took a deep breath.

“Yeah, I'll be right there!“   
He hurried into the bedroom, already pulling his torn shirt over his head when the door closed behind him. He found one of Luke's NYPD shirts, because he knew Luke liked it when he wore them and quickly grabbed the next best pair of jeans.   
When he looked into the bathroom mirror, he saw the marks Luke put on his face for the first time:  His lip was busted and there was a purple bruise blooming on his left cheekbone. The cut on his lip would heal, it was alright. The scratches on his chest didn't look so good though. They weren't infected but still, he'd end up with scars. He winced. One of the scratches was awfully close to his scar. Will ran a shaky hand over the stitch marks that riddled the pink line. He stared at it for a few seconds before splashing his face with cold water and putting on a sweet, happy smile.

“Hey, baby boy“, Luke greeted him when he entered the living room. He was sitting on the couch, still in his uniform. He patted the seat next to him. Will sat. 

“Where-“ He began but Luke interrupted him.

“Ethan is just in the kitchen. Getting a beer“, He explained and laid an arm around Will's shoulders, pulling him in. 

“Who's Ethan?“ Will asked.  
   
“Ethan is my new partner“, Luke said and kissed the top of Will's head. Will was glad their fight seemed to be forgotten. “He just graduated from the academy and doesn't know anyone yet, so I thought I'd invite him over“ 

Will smiled up at him. “That's lovely, honey“

Luke smiled back.

Ethan entered the room. He was tall, with dark hair and eyes and in his uniform. In his hands he had two beers. He handed one to Luke and after politely introducing himself to Will, plopped down on a chair. They talked about the academy, the city and other things Will didn't know much about. He zoned out, looking at the photos on the walls instead. He had instisted they put them up to make the small apartment a little cozier. Some of them were new, some were taken years ago, but all of them showed Luke and him.   
He stared at one above the T.V.; it showed a 19 year old Will and a Luke that was bald from chemotherapy hugging outside the hospital. Will remembered that day: Luke had just gotten the news that his cancer was no longer life threatening. It was a happy memory.   
The photo next to that was an old selfie from when Will was 17. They were laughing, their eyes were sparkling. A long, jagged, freshly stitched up scar ran down the side of Luke's face. Will had actually done the stitches, with assistance from Michael over the phone. Luke had cut himself on a piece of glass. Will turned his head and looked up at Luke. The scar had faded now, but he could still see it, especially when he laughed the way he  did right now.   
Will leaned into Luke's side some more and could feel him kiss the top of his head. He smiled and reached for Luke's hand, but pulled back when he realized he was holding the bottle with it. Luke noticed and set the bottle down, took Will's hand and held it. Will felt him squeeze his hand and it made his heart warm. 

In the evening, after Ethan had left and they had had dinner, Will came from the bathroom and found Luke on the balcony, smoking. He sighed and slid open the door, stepping outside. The cold air greeted him. He shivered. Luke turned around, smiled at him and held out his arm. Will leaned against his side and Luke pulled him close. They stood there in silence, Luke blowing smoke into the air and Will looking after it. 

“I need to talk to you, Will“, Luke said as he put out the cigarette bud. Will immediately tensed up.

“About what?“ he asked nervously. 

Luke turned towards him and pulled him into a hug. Will tried to relax. It didn't work. Luke kissed his forehead.  
“Let's go for a walk“

They walked through the neighborhood hand in hand, neither of them saying a word. When they turned a corner and a loud, drunk group of teenagers was coming towards them, Will instinctively let go of Luke's hand, scared that they would harass them. His instincts were right, the group indeed started pointing fingers, some were laughing, some were shouting insults and one just seemed disgusted. Will shuffled away from Luke and tried to hide his face in his scarf.  
Luke, however was having none of it. He grabbed Will by the face and kissed him, completely catching both him and the teenagers completely off guard. When he pulled away, he turned towards the teenagers and pulled aside his leather jacket, exposing his badge. He laughed at the teenagers who were now trying to get away as quickly as possible. When he was done laughing, he turned back to Will and took his hand again. 

After another five minutes of walking, Will broke the silence:

“You said you wanted to talk to me about something?“ 

Luke nodded. He stopped walking and leaned against the wall of the house they were just passing by. He dropped Will's hand and rubbed his scarred cheek. 

“Okay, so I got a call from the doctor today“   
His voice was shaky. Will looked at him in worry, already tearing his hair out. Luke continued speaking.  
“He said, that... the tumor in my- my colon... it spread and now it's in my liver“ 

Will swallowed. This wasn't good. 

“So... more chemo?“ He asked quietly. During Luke's last chemo, they had both been miserable. 

Luke shook his head.  
“It's operable“, he said. Will sighed in relief. 

“Sweetie, that's good, that's good, it could be so much worse“ he told him, rubbing Luke's shoulders. 

Luke shrugged his hands off.   
“But it's still shit! I won't be able to work for months, and we need the money, Will!“ His tone was so harsh all of a sudden it made Will flinch.

“Sorry...“ he mumbled, edging away from Luke.

“It's not like you bring home a lotta cash with your shitty job“ Luke continued ranting. “You aren't even home when I need you, you're out all night...“ He turned around and punched the wall. 

Will wanted to rush to his side, to calm him down but he was frozen in his spot. Luke's outburst scared the shit out of him.  
“Luke...“ he said softly.

Luke turned around and looked at him with cold eyes. He shook his hand. His knuckles were bloody. Will hoped they weren't broken.  
“What?“ he asked coldly.

Will held out a shaky hand. “Let's go home, honey. I think you need to rest“

Luke grabbed Will's hand with his good hand, holding onto it a little too tight.   
“No, what I need is a fucking drink“

As soon as they entered the apartment, Luke went straight to the kitchen. Will heard him rummage through his collection of whiseky bottles as he made his way into the bedroom. He closed the door behind him, drowning out the sounds from the kitchen and fell down onto the bed, staring at the ceiling. He needed to sort out his mind.  
Luke's cancer had spread. Bad.  
It was operable. Good.   
Luke didn't seem to think it was good. Why not? Will couldn't wrap his head around it. Also, this had been the first time he had ever criticized Will's job. Had he always had this problem? Why hadn't he told Will before, what even was his problem exactly? Will grabbed two fist fulls of hair and started pulling. His eyes filled with tears.   
He heard the T.V. blare in the living room and just hoped that the noise would drown out his sobbing. 

When he left for work about an hour later Luke was passed out on the couch with an empty bottle of whiskey in his hand and the T.V.still running. Will turned it off, pulled a blanket over him and gave him a kiss on the forehead. Then he left.

The night was like most other nights. Will and Austin spent the time between calls playing cards with their driver Lester in the ambulance. They had their usual calls - people fainting, a stabbing, drug overdoses and a suicide - but Will didn't feel the way he usually did. He felt off, down, somehow angry and sad at the same time. At the same time, he was numb. He didn't think anyone would notice but after the second drug overdose Austin took him aside.

“You okay bro?“ 

Will shrugged. He wasn't really close to any of his siblings, partly because they were all at least two years older than him and partly because they had always been weird around Luke - at least according to Luke. It caused him to have drifted away from his siblings over time.  
Austin laid a hand on Will's shoulder. 

“Hey, what happened?“ 

Will shrugged again and ran a hand through his hair.

“Just- just a fight with Luke. His cancer spread. But he'll be okay“ he sniffled.

Austin frowned. Will could see the 'why are you still with him?' written across his forehead, but did his best not to roll his eyes. He already knew he wouldn't be able to talk to Austin about... Luke. The fighting. All of that.  
The conversation kind of stopped after that and they didn't pick it up again for the rest of the night. 

The next few days were a blurr. Will visited Nico every day, made him take his medication, ate lunch with him. He felt comfortable around him but still, he didn't talk to him about Luke's cancer or the fighting. He kept it to himself, kept it inside where it sat like a ball of cotton in his stomach. Luke didn't talk about it either. He worked overtime with his new partner Ethan, drank until he passed out in the evening and pushed Will's buttons whenever he had the chance. 

Will was able to take monday night off since Austin still owed him. He just needed a break. He slept until noon and just spend a few hours over at Nico's place.

“Percy's coming back tomorrow“ Nico told him over a plate of spaghetti. 

Will didn't answer, he just smiled. Nico eyed him with worry, but didn't ask. He had been asking for the last few days and had never been given an actual answer, so Will figured he had just given up. 

“You should come over for lunch tomorrow. Eat with us“, Nico said, his mouth full of spaghetti. 

Will just stared at his plate. He had barely eaten anything. After a few seconds he nodded slowly. 

“Great!“ Nico clapped his hands. 

Will could tell he was desperately trying to cheer him up. He felt guilty because he knew he was supposed to be taking care of him but at the same time, he just couldn't be bothered today.   
Will gave Nico a sad smile and Nico returned it. He kept talking to Will and Will did his best to listen. 

“My favorite color is black, what's yours?“   
When Will didn't answer, his smile dropped for a moment, but he kept talking.   
“When I was ten, I tried to run away from home but the cops brought me home an hour later. All because my dad refused to take me to McDonald's“, he chuckled lightly. 

Will remained quiet. 

Nico reached out and tapped his nose.   
“Come on, I'm trying to get to know you better“, he complained. Will chewed on his thumb, his spaghetti abandoned. Nico sighed.

“My favorite colour is yellow“, Will said quietly.

Nico grinned. “Yellow like a minion or like pastel?“

“Yellow like a sunflower“ Will smiled weakly. 

“That's cute“, Nico giggled. 

Will blushed. 

They finished their meal in comfortable silence.   
After doing the dishes, Nico hugged him goodbye at the door and Will left. 

He ran a red light on his way home but barely noticed. He really was out of it today.  
Luke was still at work when Will entered the apartment. He used this moment of peace and privacy to take a long, hot shower. He was glad to have the shower to himself, no smell of cold smoke, no hands. No Luke. 

Will stared at his bare torso in the bathroom mirror, his hair dripping wet. He had never been particularly fond of the way his body looked and now he was once again reminded why:  
His shoulders where covered in freckles, just like his face and neck. He thought they looked stupid. Childish. You can't look like a child when your boyfriend is five years older than you, had a killer body and was a freaking cop. Luke once joked that the freckles made him feel like he was dating a child. Will hated them.   
He also hated how soft his body was. He was muscular, there was no avoiding that with a job like his, but they were covered by a thin layer of fat. Michael had told him it was due to hormones. No matter how hard Will tried to get rid of it - diet, exercise, he even starved himself for like, nine months - but it was still there. Luke was so muscular. Will wished he looked like him. Compared to him, he felt almost pudgy. His shoulders weren't as broad, his hips weren't as narrow. They had the same blond hair and blue eyes, but it looked so much better on Luke.  
Will ran a single finger along his scar. Just touching it caused memories from the accident to flood his mind. He shook his head to clear it. It kinda worked. 

Luke came home late, but sober. 

“Baby, I'm home!“ Will heard him call out.

“In here“, he called back, sitting up on the bed.   
Luke came in a few seconds later, his uniform jacket in his hand and his shirt already unbuttoned halfway. He had a black eye. Will looked at him in shock.

“Honey, what happened?“ he asked and scrambled off the bed. He stepped close to Luke and carefully laid a hand on his cheek.

“A perp punched me in the face, but I still caught him“ Luke laughed. He grabbed Will's face and kissed him. “Man, I feel alive! Take that, cancer!“

Will laughed.   
“Glad you're feeling better“, he told Luke. 

“Oh, I feel great“, Luke laughed again. His grin was asymmetrical because of the scar tissue in his cheek. Will liked it. 

“I'm taking you out tonight, baby boy“ Luke told him. “We could go to a bar“

Uh oh. Bars were never a good place for a gay couple, especially if one of them was an alcoholic. Luke's not an alcoholic, Will mentally scolded himself. He's just going through a lot. Who wouldn't have a drink now and then when they had to deal with freaking cancer?  
But still, a bar wasn't a good place.   
“How about a movie?“ Will suggested.

Luke raised an eyebrow.

“Movie theaters are dark. We could fool around a little“, Will whispered and played with the collar of Luke's shirt. 

Luke smirked.  
“A movie it is“, he mumbled and kissed Will again before letting go. “I'm just gonna take a quick shower“

They ended up seeing an action movie Will was not particularly interested in. Luke didn't seem to be either, because as soon as the movie started, his hands were all over Will. He stayed clear of his chest as always, but his rough hand was in Will's jeans, rubbing his hip bone. Will was glad the theater was mostly empty and they had the last row to themselves when Luke guided Will's hand to his zipper.


	7. Chapter 7

Will woke up up the next day wearing only his shirt. Luke was gone already, only the scent of cold smoke lingering in the bedroom. When he checked his phone he saw that it was noon already and that he had a text from 'Michael Work' telling him when to come over and that they'd be pizza for lunch. 'Michael Work' was Percy. Will had changed it to disguise Percy's number as the one of Michael's hospital issued phone. Nico was 'Kayla Home'. He also deleted every text he got from them as soon as possible. It was just easier to explain in case Luke was going through his phone again. Which he certainly was.   
Will smiled to himself. He was excited to have lunch with Percy and Nico at their place, but not as much as he should have been. The weird numb feeling that had started the day Luke had punched him in the face was still there. It had lingered, like the smell of cold smoke and the feeling of Luke's hands.

Will knocked on the door to Nico's and Percy's apartment at precisely 2 PM. He was a little proud of himself for being on time. At work, of course, he always tried to be on time because he simply had to be - but in private, he was late most of the time.   
When the door opened, Will was taken aback for a split second; he had somehow expected Nico to answer the door, but it was Percy. The first and only time Will had seen him, Percy had been a mess as he came to see Nico in the hospital. Will had found him attractive then, but it was nothing compared to now. A few inches taller than Will, looking down at him with sea green eyes and a crooked smile, messy black hair, a well trained body visible under his bright orange t-shirt.

“Hey there“, he greeted Will, taking a step back to let him. 

The apartment had a different vibe about it now that Percy was back. It seemed... lighter. The veil of depression had been lifted. It even smelled better. Or maybe Will was just too used to his own stuffy, smoke-filled apartment full of sadness and anger. Woah, that took a dark turn. Will shook the thought from his mind. Just after he had taken off his boots Nico emerged from the kitchen. He looked nice today, really nice. His hair was combed and falling onto his shoulders in soft curls, he had shaved and traded his usual pyjama pants and hoodie for black jeans and a Ramones t-shirt. 

“Hey, sunshine boy“, he smiled at Will and Will realized he had been staring.   
He sniffed the air. 

“Is that... cake?“   
Percy nodded. “Yeah. It's blue“

“Why?“

Percy flopped down on the couch, his legs over the armrest. He raised his eyebrows. “Why not?“

Will didn't know how to answer. 

They ordered pizza and ate on the couch. Will sat between them, Percy's legs over his lap and Nico so close to his side they had trouble moving their arms. Will liked it. The whole situation had such a comfortable, cozy vibe to it that Will temporarily forgot about the numbness and the ache in his chest.   
Percy seemed excited to have Will around. He told him about his tattoos, his mouth full of pepperoni pizza.

“This trident stands for my dad“, he raised his right arm and showed Will the dark ink on his wrist.   
Will nodded.

“I got my brother and my half-sister on my chest“, he pulled down the collar of his shirt a little to show Will.

“And I'm gonna get my mom tattooed but as a mermaid“, he grins “the only one missing is my step dad Paul, he's still gotta earn his one“

Will nodded again. He turned his head a little to look at Nico, who smiled at him.

“And Nico's on my shoulder. A black feather“ Percy finished and finally swallowed his pizza. 

“I have Percy, too“ Nico said and Will turned to him. Nico pulled down the collar of his far too big t-shirt and pointed to one of his swirly tattoos, a black pegasus. Before Will could identify any other of the motives, Nico's shirt was back in place.   
“Alrighty, be right back“ Percy swung his long legs off Will's lap, almost kicking him in the face in the process, and took off to the bathroom. Will could have sworn he winked at Nico before the door closed behind him.   
“Sooooo“, Will mumbled. He felt awkward tension building up.  
“Are you okay?“ Nico asked quietly. “You seemed really off these last few days...“  
Will almost brushed it off again, but there was something in Nico's voice made him feel like it was alright.  
“Luke and I have just been fighting a lot...“ he mumbled and stared at the pizza box on the coffee table. “It's been getting me down. That's all“   
One look at Nico's face and he knew that Nico was very aware he wasn't telling him the whole truth, but Nico didn't say anything. He just smiled and leaned into Will's side a little more. 

Percy came back from the bathroom. His legs were now not just on Will's lap, but on Nico's too. The guy was just too comfortable even with new people. Will liked it. Percy started the conversation again, lightening the atmosphere again. He told Nico about his week, that he had spent two days of it with his girlfriend Annabeth, who, Will learned, was an architect and lived in San Francisco with her dad.  
“How long have you two been together?“ Will asked. He had picked up the pizza again, nibbling on it.   
“We met at summer camp when we were 12 and started dating when we where 16“ Percy said, then he squeaked. Nico had pinched his toe. Will chuckled  
“So it's always been long distance“, Percy continued. “But she might be able to move here in like, six months“  
“Oh no“, Nico gasped over dramatically “does that mean she's gonna move in?“   
“It does indeed“, Percy laughed, then turned to Will. “We all used to think Nico had a crush on Annabeth, because he would be so bitchy around her“ Percy laughed again, taking a moment to catch his breath before he spoke again. “Turns out, he had a crush on me since he was ten!“   
Will laughed, but stopped abruptly when Nico jabbed his elbow into his side, then started laughing again.  
“Stop, I didn't know any better!“ Nico complained, his face bright red. Cute, Will thought. Adorable.

As Will excused himself to the bathroom a few minutes later, the thought of Nico's crush on Percy crossed his mind again. He stared at himself in the mirror while washing his hands. Suddenly, he felt ugly. His face was so pudgy compared to Percy's. Percy didn't have freckles or old acne scars. Nico would never like him. Not that he wanted that, of course. He had a boyfriend. Whom he loved very much. He didn't even care what Nico liked. He barely knew him. He dried his hands and was just about to open the door when he heard voices from the living room.

“I think his boyfriend is beating him, Perce!“ that was Nico. Was he crying?

“Buddy, I know this hits close to home, but you've only just met him. Don't freak out okay?“   
That was Percy. Of course, who else?

“But... I like him, I don't want anyone to have to deal with this, not after what happened to Bianca! You of all people should understand!“ Nico was definitely crying. 

Who was Bianca? Nico liked him? In what way? Will's head was spinning. He leaned against the wall and took a deep breath. His gaze fell on a shampoo bottle in the shower. Pomegranate soap. He smiled to himself. He liked the scent of pomegranates so much more than than the smell of cold smoke.   
The argument in the living room had gone quiet. Will, still in a daze, washed his hands again and returned to the living room. Nico was sitting on the couch table, clutching a tissue in his hands. The pizza boxes had been moved to the floor so he could sit. Percy was laying on the couch. Did the guy ever sit? He put his feet on Will's lap as soon as Will sat down. The atmosphere was weird. Percy was eyeing Nico with worry, Nico was looking at Will with sadness in his eyes and Will was staring at his lap.

“I'm gonna get the cake“, Percy announced and rolled off the couch. He landed on his stomach with a soft thug, then hopped to his feet and immediately sprinted to the kitchen. 

“Cake?“ Will asked Nico. 

Nico sniffled. “Percy slapped together a cake last night. To thank you“   
Percy - a guy Will barely knew - had baked him a cake. Will's heart fluttered. He couldn't stop smiling when Percy emerged from the kitchen carrying a slumped blue cake. With a simple “Get your ass off there“ he shooed Nico off the table and set down the cake. It was a lumpy chocolate cake with uneven bright blue icing. Will thought it was beautiful. It tasted great, too. 

“Just how your mom used to make it“, Nico smiled at Percy. He had some blue icing on his cheek. 

“It's the only thing I know how to bake“, Percy grinned sheepishly. 

Will wondered why the cake was blue. He just assumed it was Percy's favorite color, it was everywhere afterall. Even his socks were blue and right now they were in Will's lap again. He didn't mind. He didn't mind Nico next to him either. He could smell the pomegranate shampoo again. He liked it.

Will went home less than an hour later so he could catch some sleep before his night shift. His good mood left him as soon as he walked through the door. The smell of smoke slapped him in the face, it was fresh. Luke was home. Will found him passed out on the couch, still in his uniform. Must've been a long day, he thought to himself as he put a blanket over him, kissed his forehead and went straight to bed.


	8. Chapter 8

As the day of Luke's surgery crept closer, things became worse and worse. Meals turned into whiskey and cigarettes, the windows shook with screams of anger and frustration. Nights were spent sleepless, tears stained pillows, clothes and skin. Will spent most of his time at work, time he knew he should be spending with Luke. He felt bad about it, but he just couldn't bear with his bad mood, his negativity. Out of guilt he didn't spend time with Percy or Nico either. He felt like it wouldn't be fair to Luke. Still, he didn't want to be around Luke at the moment. They fought a lot, mostly over small things like the dishes or sex. Luke had not hit him again, but Will felt like there had been a few close calls. One time, Luke had pushed him into a wall with so much force it had left faint bruises on Will's back and shoulders. Another day, Luke had grabbed him by the throat, but had let go immediately when he realized Will couldn't breathe. It had scared Will, yes, and it had made cry, a lot, but it was okay. Luke had cancer. He was depressed. Who wouldn't get a little angry at times when they had to go through something as horrible as this? 

Will had taken the night before the surgery off to be with Luke. He made spaghetti and they even ate together without fighting. After he had finished doing the dishes, Will joined Luke on the balcony. He watched him blow smoke into the cold air for a moment before he spoke.

“Are you scared?“ 

Luke shook his head, staring off into the distance. “No. Yes. I don't know“  
He let out a sigh of frustration and took another drag. “I'm not scared of the surgery itself, like the pain or the risks“, he took another drag, “but what if I can't work afterwards? What if I end up with some desk job?“   
He turned to Will, staring as if looking for answers. 

Will didn't know what to say. Luke almost never opened up to him like this. Or any other way, really.   
“I'm sure it'll be okay, Luke“, he said softly. “Your surgeon is amazing, I asked Michael about her, it'll be fine“

Luke scoffed. He put out the cigarette bud and turned towards Will. “C'mon I need a shower“

Will didn't dare to say no. Luke was worked up enough already. 

A few hours later, he was laying in bed, staring at the ceiling while he listened to Luke's soft snoring. He felt weirdly dirty. Used. It wasn't the first time Luke had pushed him to do things he didn't feel like doing at the moment, but Will wasn't sure he had felt this way about it before. Why did he feel so bad?   
'You don't deserve to be treated like this', Nico's words echoed in his head. He didn't know why he was remembering them now. It wasn't even bad. Fighting was normal, Luke had always told him that. They were one of the healthiest couples Luke knew. Will didn't really know any couples. He knew Kayla, she was married, but that was different. His brothers were single. And he had Luke. The man he had fallen in love with. He loved him, didn't he?

Will woke up early in the morning and stared at the ceiling for a while. He had barely slept that night and his head was pounding. He licked his chapped lips. Dehydration, he thought to himself. Should have a glass of water. Or several. He could honestly drink an entire bathtub worth of water. Next to him, Luke stirred. He rolled over and wrapped his arm around Will's waist. Will flinched as Luke's hand brushed over his stomach. His head rested on Will's shoulder, his hair tickling Will's jaw. Will was careful not to move so he wouldn't wake him. They still had some time left until they had to go to the hospital. Weirdy, having Luke this close to him felt wrong somehow. Will resisted the urge to push him off of him. He forced himself to kiss the top of Luke's head. That felt right. Or at least kind of. He loved him.   
Luke stirred again. He lazily opened one eye and smiled up at Will.   
“Mornin', baby boy“, he mumbled.

“Morning honey“ Will smiled and felt his lip tear a little. 

“What time is it?“ Luke mumbled and opened his other eye. 

“About eight. We need to go soon“ That was a bit of a stretch, they still had plenty of time, but Will just wanted to escape the situation as quickly as possible. He didn't know why. He felt Luke nod against his shoulder. His arm was still on Will's stomach and it made Will cringe. Luke didn't seem to notice. Will only lasted a few more minutes before he detached Luke's arm from his waist and crawled out of bed. He quickly straightened out his shirt and ran a hand through his hair. Luke lazily smiled up at him. 16 year old Will had fallen in love with that exact smile, but 21 year old Will just felt uncomfortable with Luke's gaze on his body. He awkwardly smiled back at Luke, then quickly turned around to get dressed.

They didn't have breakfast; Luke, because he wasn't allowed to eat before his surgery, Will, because he felt sick just thinking about food. The ride to the hospital was a silent one, Luke was driving, his knuckles turning white as he gripped the steering wheel, Will was slumped in the passenger seat. Luke never let him drive. It was a miracle he was even allowed to attend him to the hospital. Will knew Luke hated Will seeing him in this weakened state. He reached over and lightly rubbed Luke's shoulder. Luke ignored him. Will sighed and slumped in his seat some more. When they reached the hospital and Luke had parked the car he sighed loudly and banged his head against the steering wheel. 

“Hey“, Will said softly and laid a hand on Luke's shoulder. 

Luke turned towards him and his hard gaze made Will flinch. He quickly pulled back his hand. Luke didn't apologize, he just got out of the car and harshly shut the door. Will followed, still a bit shaken. 

Luke didn't speak to him until last minute when he was already in prep for surgery. Will had hoped for an 'I love you' or something similar, but Luke's weak 'cancer can kiss my ass' was good enough for him right now. A few seconds later Luke was out cold and on his way to the operation room. Will slumped down on a chair in the hallway and let out a deep breath. He hadn't even realised he had been holding his breath until now. 

“Hey, little brother“, he heard Michael's warm voice next to him. He looked up to see him standing there, smiling down at him. He took a seat next to Will.   
“You okay?“ 

Will shrugged. “Just a tough week, I guess“

“Did you fight again?“ 

When Will didn't answer, Michael put an arm around his shoulder. Will flinched and his brother raised an eyebrow at him. 

“You did“

Will nodded. He briefly remembered Michael had been trained in psychology when he started working in the ER.

“Will, why do you let him treat you like this?“, Michael asked softly. Will was surprised at the pain in his voice. Sometimes he forgot how much his siblings actually cared about him. He smiled to himself when he remembered Nico telling him the same thing. Maybe Luke really wasn't treating him right. But they didn't know Luke like he did! It was okay, really. That's what he told himself.

Michael lightly rubbed his shoulder, seemingly not expecting an answer to his question. Will leaned into his brother's side. He realized how much he missed him. The familiar scent of antiseptic, several body fluids Will hoped weren't his and green tea hit his nose and he realized how much he missed his work, too. He had taken a lot of time off to take care of Luke recently.   
They just sat there for a moment, quiet. Will felt like he was close to tears. Michael seemed to notice. 

“Would a lollipop made you feel better?“ he asked softly.

“A what now?“ Will looked at him in surprise.

Michal reached into the pocket of his scrub top and produced a handful of lollipops.  
“We had a few kids in the ER today... I stole them from pediatrics“ 

Will chuckled and took one.   
“Why are you even working today? I thought you only worked night shift“ 

“I switched with a colleague who needed a day off. He's getting married or something“ Michael laughed a little. 

 

Will unwrapped a lollipop, put it in his mouth and handed the others back to Michael, who shook his head.

“Keep them“, he said. “They always cheered you up when you were little“ 

Will smiled and pocketed them. “And you always wanted cookies. Cookies and a disney movie“

Michael laughed. “Like when Kayla pushed me down the stairs“

“Or when you wanted a dog but mom and dad said no“

“Or when you put glitter in my bed and I looked like David Bowie for a month“ 

“Yeah, I remember. You put gum in my hair for that“

They both laughed. Will felt happy and safe next to his brother, sharing childhood memories. The moment was interrupted when Michael's pager buzzed. He checked it and sighed. 

“I gotta go, bro“ he said, getting up. They said their quick goodbyes. Just before Michael entered the elevator, he turned around again. 

“Will... please call me if he does it again“

 

Will sat in his car in the hospital parking lot. He didn't want to go home to an empty apartment, so he texted Nico, asking if he could come over. Nico texted back almost immediately. Yes, he could come over, but Nico had an appointment with a client today and wouldn't be home. The key was under the doormat.

Usually, Will would feel weird about going to someone's apartment like that, but with Nico he was so weirdly comfortable. Percy was home when he arrived. Will expected him to be surprised or annoyed when he stepped into his place just like that, but Percy was incredibly casual about it. He was just laying on the couch, watching T.V. and gave Will a small wave. 

“Hey Will“ 

“Aren't you surprised I'm here?“ Will closed the door behind him. 

“Nah. You're Nico's friend. Nico's friends are always welcome here“  

“I've known him for like what, two weeks? Two and a half?“ Will took off his shoes and jacket, no longer feeling weird.

“That's longer than most people stayed in his life“ Percy said. He seemed serious. “Make yourself comfortable. Have a juice box. Take a nap. I can give you the couch if you wanna sleep“ 

“Can I just watch T.V. with you?“ Will asked.

“Sure“, Percy lifted his feet so Will had a place to sit, then laid his feet in Will's lap. 

“How's ya day been?“ Percy asked, flipping through the channels. 

Will told him about Luke's surgery. 

“That's a bummer“, Percy commented. He settled on a documentary about whales. Damn, that dude loved water.

“Yeah... I'm glad I'm working tonight. I hate staying in an empty apartment and Luke will be staying at least one night in the hospital after the OP“ Will admitted.

“You could always stay here“, Percy offered. “We have enough juice boxes for one more person“

Will chuckled lightly. “You've literally known me for two weeks“ 

“True“, Percy shrugged, “But you took care of Nico. He's like a brother to me. You're the first person I've met to care about him this much since-“ he bit his lip. Will wondered who he was talking about. The name Bianca popped up in his head, but he dismissed it. He probably shouldn't push on the subject nor over think it.   
They sat in silence for a while, only occasionally interrupted by Will yawning. 

“Dude, did you sleep at all last night?“ Percy finally asked.

Will shook his head no and yawned again. 

“You wanna have the couch and take a nap? I got work in like 20 minutes anyway“, Percy offered. 

Will couldn't get over how nice he was to him. The only people to care about him this much were his siblings... and Luke. He nodded and yawned again. Percy moved over until Will could lie down, his feet in Percy's lap this time. He closed his eyes and quickly drifted off to sleep, not even registering when Percy lifted his feet off his lap and left for work. 

He woke up to his usual alarm a few hours later. As he drove home to change into his uniform something was stuck in his head. At first he thought it had been a dream but the longer he thought about it the clearer it became. When he reached his apartment he was sure that it was a memory of something that had disturbed his slumber earlier. The image was clear: Nico kissing his forehead as he pulled a blanket over Will.


	9. Chapter 9

Will didn't even bother staying home for long the next morning. He took a brief shower, changed into day clothes and drove to Nico's apartment. He didn't knock because he didn't want to wake anyone, so he just used the spare key from under the doormat to let himself in. He tried to be as quiet as possible when he slipped off his shoes and jacket. The living room and kitchen were empty. It was 5:30 in the morning after all. Will tip toed to Percy's door, listening carefully. He could hear sounds inside and knocked lightly. 

“Yeah?“ Percy called from inside and Will carefully opened the door and peaked inside. Percy was sitting on his bed - wearing only sweatpants as Will noticed embarrassingly quickly - a laptop in front of him. 

“Morning“, Will smiled at him. He still felt a little like an intruder but the feeling faded when Percy returned the smile. 

“How was your shift?“ 

“The usual. A few drunk guys, some stabbings, overdoses, old people“, he shrugged. Percy looked impressed. 

“Did anyone die?“ 

“One overdose. Couldn't stabilize him, he had been lying in that ditch for too long, I guess“ 

“Does that get you down? After, what was it, three years?“ Percy asked.

Will shrugged. “Sometimes. Not last night“

Percy nodded slowly. 

“Is Nico awake?“ Will asked.

“Don't know, go check. If he's asleep you can't wake him, he sleeps like a rock“

Will nodded and closed the door behind him. 

There were no sounds coming from Nico's bedroom and after no response to Will knocking, he openend the door. Nico was asleep at his desk, his long hair falling over his shoulders. His head rested on his arms. Will stepped closer until he could see his face. He looked peaceful and innocent, almost like a child. He was wrapped in a blanket, Will couldn't tell if he was wearing anything underneath. He blushed at the thought. Nico mumbled something in his sleep. Will crouched down next to his chair and lightly shook Nico's shoulder. His hair shifted, revealing a tattoo at the back of his neck. 'Ghost King' it said in cursive writing. Nico's eyebrows furrowed, he mumbled again and this time, Will was able to understand it. 

“Will...“ 

Will blushed a deep red. He shook Nico's shoulder again and this time, Nico opened his eyes. 

“Will“, he mumbled again, smiling sleepily. He didn't even bother to lift his head from his arms.

“Hey“, Will whispered. “You fell asleep at your desk. That's bad for your back“

Nico sighed, still smiling. 

“You should go to bed“, Will whispered. 

Nico sighed again, then lifted his head off his arms. Will stood and watched as Nico pushed his chair back, stood up and walked towards the bed, all in slow motion and while wrapped in his blanket. He flopped down on his bed face first. The blanket slipped a little, exposing Nico's back and butt and Will realized with a blush on his face that Nico was only wearing black boxer briefs. He looked down at his feet when Nico turned around to lay on his back. 

“I had a nightmare“, he mumbled. He seemed a little upset all of a sudden. “Can you come here?“

Will reluctantly stepped closer and sat on the edge of the bed. He was a little nervous and somehow couldn't get the image of Nico's butt out of his head. Nico held out his arm. 

“Hey, I know you're taken and all that“, he mumbled sleepily. “But I wouldn't mind some platonic cuddling right now. Was kind of a shitty dream“ 

“Cuddling?“ Will asked in surprise. “In my muddy jeans?“ For some reason, that was the main thing that bothered him about this. 

“I'd be okay with you not wearing pants“ Nico mumbled, his eyes closed already. “But you can also take my sweatpants“ 

Will had a feeling Nico's sweatpants would be too small for him so, following some strange intuition, he slipped off his jeans, socks and hoodie. Even though Luke had always drilled it into his head, cuddling to comfort a friend didn't seem wrong to him right now. Will took a deep breath and crawled under the covers next to Nico. Nico smiled at him softly, his eyes still closed and opened his arms. Will edged closer and Nico pulled him in, wrapping an arm around Will's waist. Will tensed up. Oh no. No chest touching. 

“Nico“, he whispered. 

“Hmm?“

“Please don't touch my chest“, Will felt stupid about this insecurity of his. 

Nico immediately removed his arms and even though Will was relieved, he kind of missed the warmth. He reached out and pulled Nico in, his back now resting against Will's chest. He could feel him breathe calmly.

“Chest touching is okay when I'm the one in control“ Will whispered, trying to explain and justify. He was so used to Luke bashing his insecurities, that Nico's answer genuinely surprised him.

“Okay. I'll try to remember that“

Will smiled to himself. He buried his face in the crook of Nico's neck, breathing in the scent of pomegranate, his eyes closing slowly, the exhaustion of the night shift taking over. 

He awoke to the sound of soft laughter and when he opened his eyes he saw Nico, laying next to him, his long hair messy, his eyes glistening, his lips rosy. 

“Hey sunshine boy“, he whispered, giggling lightly. 

Will couldn't help but smile and his smile grew even wider when Nico kissed his cheek. He liked the way his lips felt against his skin. He wanted more.

“Can... can I kiss you?“ he asked nervously. 

Nico giggled again. “Of course, silly, I'm your boyfriend, of course you can kiss me“ 

Nico. His boyfriend. Wow. Will had a hard time processing this information. 

“I love how important consent is to you“, Nico mumbled. He edged closer to Will, their chests touching. 

Will didn't mind at all, in fact he kinda liked it. He looked down at Nico, his boyfriend, apparently. Just as he leaned down to kiss him, just as their lips touched and butterflies erupted in Will's stomach, the door to the bedroom openend with a loud bang. 

“So you are cheating! I knew it!“ Will heard Luke scream. He immediately moved away from Nico, his body tense, his ears ringing. All he could think was shit, shit, shit. 

Within seconds, Luke was on top of him, kneeling as usual.

“What the fuck, baby boy?!“ Luke screamed at the top of his lungs. 

Will tried to get away, but his body seemed paralyzed. He looked to his side, Nico was gone. He felt Luke's hand around his neck, squeezing. Will couldn't breathe. He blacked out for a second, Luke let go of his throat. He started throwing punches at Will, screaming insults, calling him baby boy over and over again. 

“Will“, a voice said beside him. It wasn't Luke. Nico. 

Will's eyes shot open, he woke up in cold sweat. It was just a dream, he realized, trying to catch his breath. 

“Will“, Nico said again, sounding worried. 

“I'm okay“, Will croaked, his throat dry. He really wasn't drinking enough water. 

“You were twitching and whimpering“, Nico mumbled. 

“Just a bad dream“, Will whispered. He could see Nico was worried and smiled weakly. 

Nico kissed his forehead, then immediately turned away, blushing a deep red. 

Will was blushing, too. He couldn't shake the thought of Nico being his boyfriend. But it couldn't be, it shouldn't be. Luke would be furious, heartbroken. And Will loved Luke, his boyfriend. He was almost sure. Still, he reached up and touched his lips. He could still feel Nico's touch on them, even though it had been a dream, had been only in his head, it felt real.

“What was your dream about?“ Nico had turned towards him again, the red still lingering on his cheeks.

Will shrugged. He still felt bad about talking  about Luke as if he were a bad person, because he really wasn't.

“Luke?“ Nico asked quietly, his voice raspy.  
“You mumbled his name“

Will shrugged again.

“Don't feel like talking about it?“ 

Will nodded. 

Nico held out an arm. “Need a hug?“

Will nodded and snuggled into him. It amazed him how comfortable and safe he felt with Nico. It hadn't been this easy with anyone in a long time. They just laid there, Nico careful not to touch Will's chest, in comfortable silence.

Nico quickly fell asleep again, his calm and steady breathing tickling Will's cheek. Will liked the way it felt, Nico's arm across his pelvis area, lying just underneath his hip bones. The whole situation was so beautifully innocent, no searching hands, no cold smoke, no slurred swearing. Will felt like he could stay in this moment forever. 

The peace was destroyed about ten minutes later. Will's phone beeped loudly; a text from Michael. 

'Just talked to Nyssa. There have been complications' 

Nyssa was Luke's surgeon. Will had met her before and knew Michael deeply admired her. Complications. Huh. It took Will a moment to realize what that could mean. Fear sent a shiver down his spine.  He gently pushed Nico's arm off of him and got out of bed. He called Michael, who answered almost immediately. 

“What do you mean, complications?“ He hissed into the phone. 

“Good morning to you too, bro“ Michael greeted him. 

Will left Nico's room as quietly as possible, closed the door behind him and sat on the couch. 

“What complications?“ He repeated, already pulling at his hair. He heard his brother sigh. 

“There has been some internal bleeding, they ruptured an artery while removing some of the tumors, but they fixed him up again. He's okay, he'll just need to recover for a little longer.“ Michael explained in that special tone that doctors always used. 

Will sighed in relief. He had expected much worse. He let it process for a few seconds, his tired brain taking its time. 

“He's gonna need to stay overnight“, Michael said. “He's a bit cranky, I talked to him... you could visit him before your shift tonight“

Will nodded, then realized Michael couldn't see him. “I think I'll do that“  
He remembered the bad mood Luke had been in during his chemotherapy, when he had been in the hospital after breaking his leg on duty or when he had to get stitches. Luke hated hospitals, which was another reason he hated Will's job so much. And Will's siblings. Luke once told him that his mother had spent most of his childhood in clinics and hospitals after his dad had left. Suddenly, Will felt guilty. He had been spending his time with another man, cuddling and dreaming about him, while his boyfriend was in the damn hospital, recovering from internal bleeding and freaking cancer. He groaned and buried his face in his hand, realizing his fingers were full of hair he had pulled out of his scalp. 

“Hey, calm down“ Michael said through the phone. Will had briefly forgotten he was still there. “He'll be okay. They gave him a shit ton of morphine, your man's as high as a kite“

Will couldn't help it, he felt bad. Then something dawned on him.  
“Michael?“ he asked slowly. “Did you switch shifts again? Why are you at the hospital at this hour, you should be sleeping“  
Will always thought it was funny that all four of the Solace children worked at the same hospital and all worked primarily at night. 

“I, uh“, Michael said, “I wanted to watch Nyssa operate. You know she's like my hero... and I even talked to her“ 

Will couldn't help but laugh at how excited his brother sounded. He knew Michael had been admiring Dr. Nyssa Fletcher for years. 

“You know I'd love to hang around and talk, but Nyssa asked me if I wanted to grab a coffee, so... I gotta go“ Michael explained sheepishly. 

Will chuckled again. “You do that. Have fun“

“I will“, Michael hung up. 

Will laid his phone on the coffee table and buried his face in his hands. His head was a mix of emotions. He was happy for Michael, but it was overshadowed by his guilt. He was a horrible boyfriend. Was this cheating? Had he cheated? Had he ruined his relationship? Oh god, what had he done? He started tearing out chunks of hair, his chest felt so tight he couldn't breathe. All of the sounds around him, the traffic outside, the faint sounds of Percy's laptop in his room, they all faded into the background. Will could only hear his own heartbeat pounding in his head and all he could think was 'what have you done?'.

He didn't know how long he was sitting there, hugging his knees to his chest, tears streaming down his face as he gasped for air. It could have been only a few minutes, it could have been hours. Will couldn't breathe, he was hyperventilating, his fingers and toes were going numb, his ears were ringing. He couldn't calm down, he didn't know how. All he could think about was that he messed up. He had seriously fucked up. And he didn't know what to do. He reached up with one hand and started grabbing and tearing away his hair. 

Suddenly, a hand stopped his. Will looked up and saw Percy standing there. Percy immediately took his hand off Will's after he stopped tearing away at his hair. He crouched down in front of Will.

“What's wrong?“

Will couldn't answer, he was breathing too heavily, desperately trying to get some air into his lungs. He frantically shook his head. 

“Hey, hey calm down“, Percy said in a soothing voice. “You can't breathe?“

Will shook his head again. 

“Okay Will“, Percy held out his hands and Will allowed him to take his. “Breathe in for four seconds“

Will tried it. 

“Now hold that for seven seconds“

Will squeezed Percy's hands, his fingers still numb. 

“Okay, now breathe out for eight seconds“, Percy watched him do it. “Now keep repeating that, Will you? C'mon breathe with me. Through your nose if you can. Four seconds...“

Will tried his best to mimic Percy's breathing. Percy held his hands the whole time and after a while, the feeling returned to Will's fingers. It took him a few minutes to calm down enough so he could speak.

“I- I messed u- up, Percy- y“, he said, his words interrupted by sobs. 

“It's okay, Will“, Percy whispered and squeezed Will's hand. 

Will shook his head. “No, it's not“, he mumbled and sniffed. 

“Do you wanna talk about it?“ Percy asked softly. 

Will shook his head again. 

“That's alright“, Percy smiled and squeezed his hand again. “You should probably drink something. Want me to get you some water?“

Will nodded. 

Percy let go of his hands and stood up. 

“Juice box“, Will croaked out. 

Percy chuckled. “Okay, I'll grab you a juice box“

He brought Will a juice box, then sat with him and talked to him to calm him down. A few minutes later, Will felt almost completely calm. 

“Percy“, he asked, “how did you know the 4,7,8 rule?“ He was referring to the breathing exercise, he remembered learning about it from Austin.

“Nico had a lot of panic attacks when he was younger“, Percy explained. “It should be part of every first aid class if you ask me“

Will nodded in agreement. “So... you're saying I had a panic attack?“  
He had seen them happen before, in the ER, in the ambulance, but he had never experienced one before. 

Percy nodded. “I'd say so“

“Nico has them?“

“Had. His meds prevent them now. When he was younger he had them almost daily“ Percy explained with a sour face. 

Will was a little shocked. He had only experienced one and it had already been horrible. He couldn't imagine having to go through that every day. He silently drank his juice.  
Percy laid a hand on his shoulder.

“You okay? What even happened?“ 

Will briefly considered telling him the truth, but he knew Percy would tell him Luke wasn't good for him or something, because that's what people always said. They didn't understand Luke like he did. 

“There were complications with Luke's surgery“, he said instead. “Some internal bleeding. He's okay, but it was a shock, you know?“

Percy nodded. “I understand“

They heard the door to Nico's bedroom open. Nico walked towards the kitchen, his bare feet dragging across the floor. He flashed them a tired smile. Will didn't return it, he looked down at his lap in shame. His instincts told him to leave, run away from the awkwardness of the situation and the guilt and shame he couldn't avoid. He wanted to go home, crawl into bed, hide under the covers and never come out again. 

But at the same time, home was the last place he wanted to be right now. He didn't want to hang around in an empty apartment that smelled like anger and depression. So, he stayed.


	10. Chapter 10

It ended up not being as awkward as Will had expected it to be. The three of them had breakfast - cereal and juice boxes - together on the couch, something Will wished he could do with Luke. But Luke was either too drunk or too cranky in the morning, depending on whether he was working that day or not.   
Nico didn't mention the cuddling at all. He simply asked Will if he was okay and why he looked so shaken up. 

“Panic attack“, Percy told him. 

Nico nodded, an understanding look on his face. 

Will just stared into his cereal. He felt so drained, as if the panic attack had used up all his energy. He ate in silence, listening to Nico and Percy talk.

In the evening, Will visited Luke in the hospital. He had about half an hour until his shift. Nervously, he opened the door to Luke's room. Luke was in bed, his skin pale and sweaty, an I.V. in his arm. He didn't even look at Will when he entered. 

“Hey sweetie“, Will said carefully.

“Well, look who decided to show up“, Luke sneered. 

Will flinched. “How are you feeling?“ He asked quietly, not daring to step closer to the bed. The guilt was heavier than ever. He should have been here, with Luke, his boyfriend, and not cuddle with some other boy, even if he was a friend. 

Luke shrugged, then winced in pain. Will wanted to run to his side, but something held him back. He had to take a deep breath before he could sit down on the chair next to Luke's bed. It occurred to him that there shouldn't be a chair there. Someone must have put it there. Probably Michael, he had said he talked to Luke after all. Thinking about his brother taking care of his boyfriend made Will smile. Surely, his siblings weren't as bad as Luke always said. 

Will reached out and took Luke's hand. It was cold and sweaty. Will carefully moved the blanket and pulled aside Luke's hospital gown. Bandages.  He didn't know what he had expected. 

“Are you in pain?“ He asked quietly. 

“A little“, Luke mumbled. He was very calm, almost gentle all of a sudden. It scared Will for some reason. He was already waiting for the next outburst. Luke tiredly smiled at him and Will forced himself to smile back. Luke squeezed his hand.

“I love you“, he mumbled. 

Will's stomach filled with butterflies. Luke hadn't told him that in weeks. He leaned down and placed a kiss on Luke's forehead. Just as he pulled away Luke reached up and pulled him in for a kiss on the lips. Will could feel him chuckle lightly as they slowly made out. When Luke placed his other hand on the back of Will's neck, Will pulled away. 

“Babe, your IV“, he mumbled and took Luke's wrist, careful not to move the needle. 

Luke rolled his eyes, dropped his arm and pulled Will back in. Will almost climbed onto the bed, his hands on Luke's cheeks, Luke's hand on the back of his neck. Will suddenly realized how much he enjoyed kissing when he wasn't pressured into it, or Luke was hovering over him like a hawk over his prey. 

 

Will's shift was a busy one, they were getting one call after another. At the end of the night he was so exhausted he almost fell asleep in his car while driving to Nico's place. He let himself in with the key under the doormat, kicked off his shoes and went to sleep on the couch immediately.

Luke had to stay in the hospital for almost a week. Will visited him every evening before his shift. They mostly kissed or held hands, no actual fighting. Luke was too high on morphine to bicker or insult Will and Will certainly avoided fighting as much as he could. He worked all night and spend his days at Nico's place. No platonic cuddling, Will felt too guilty to do that. And after five days, Luke was able to come home. 

He threw open the door, dropped his duffel bag of things Will had brought him to the hospital on the floor and laughed at the top of his lungs. 

“Cancer can fuck off“, he laughed. 

Will just snuck past him into the apartment. He was glad Luke was happy and home, but at the same time he had been dreading it. He didn't want to fall back into this routine of fighting and drinking, he didn't want to be groped at night. He sighed, closed the door behind them and picked up the duffel bag. Luke was already heading into the kitchen and Will heard him open the cupboard in which he kept his liquor. 

“Here we go again“, Will mumbled. He put the bag down again and leaned against the door frame. Luke hadn't even grabbed a glass, he was just drinking whiskey straight from the bottle. It pained Will. 

“Honey, please“, he said quietly, but Luke heard him. 

“What?“ he asked, only briefly detaching his lips from the botle.

“You probably shouldn't be drinking“, Will said, wondering where the confidence to say this had come from. 

Luke put down the bottle and turned towards Will. “I can do whatever the fuck I want“, he snapped. 

Will raised his hands and backed away, his confidence lost. He tripped over the duffel bag on the floor and almost fell if not for the wall of the corridor behind him. He expected Luke to come closer, pin him against the wall, anything. But Luke just moved towards the kitchen again, or at least Will thought so, before his boyfriend turned around again and punched him in the face.

Will was sure it didn't knock him out, but he still couldn't remember the first few seconds after Luke's fist had hit his cheek bone. When he gathered his senses, he found himself in what Percy had called a panic attack. He was slumped against the wall, his eyes squeezed shut, his mouth wide open as he was trying to catch some air. His hands were tearing at his hair but they felt numb. His ears were ringing so much he could barely hear anything. He didn't even know what he was panicking about.   
After a few minutes of hyperventilating and tingling fingers a hand was placed on Will's shoulder. Will flinched and looked up.   
Luke was crouching next to him, swaying lightly from side to side. He was wasted. 

“Calm down“, he mumbled and laid a hand on Will's cheek, completely ignoring Will flinching. 

Will squeezed his eyes shut again, unable to ignore the rough hand on his face and against his sore cheek bone. He tried his best to calm himself down and after he remembered the breathing technique Percy had shown him, the ringing in his ears was slowly ceasing and he finally felt like he could catch at least a little air. He could hear Luke taking another gulp from his bottle. His hand was still on Will's cheek. It seemed to burn him. He hesitantly opened his eyes and looked at up at Luke. He watched him empty the bottle, before setting it down on the floor and placing his other hand on Will's face as well. 

“Shhhh“, he mumbled and leaned in very close to Will's face. “Calm down“, His voice was so slurred Will could barely understand him. “Calm down“, he mumbled again and smiled softly. Will thought it was kind of adorable.   
He smiled back, which Luke took as an invitation to press his lips to Will's. It was only a short kiss because Will was still panting. 

“Aww, baby boy“, Luke slurred and took his hands off Will's face, granting Will only a brief moment of relief before he grabbed Will's upper arm and roughly pulled him to his feet. It happened so fast Will didn't have time to flinch, now he was standing up, leaning against the wall, panicking again. Even though Luke was drunk, he was still a well trained, strong police officer and could easily pull or push Will around. And he did. He pulled Will down the hallway to the bedroom and pushed him onto the bed. Will was expecting the worst and panicking so bad his vision was going blurry. But Luke just climbed onto the bed next to him and pulled him into a hug. He held him tight, stroking his hair and whispering things Will couldn't hear with his ringing ears. 

After what felt like hours Will finally felt calm. He was surprised Luke was still just holding him and hadn't tried anything yet. Will realized how much tension he was holding in his body and dropped his shoulders. 

Luke seemed to notice, he kissed Will's temple. “You better?“ His voice was still slurry and his breath smelled like whiskey. 

Will nodded. “Yeah...“, he mumbled softly. 

“Good“, Luke whispered and turned Will's head to kiss him. “Because I missed you“, he kissed him again. “And I missed your body“

Will was too exhausted to say no. Also, he hadn't had sex in a while and his hormonal adolescent body was happy with what Luke was proposing. Also, he loved Luke. And he had missed him too, hadn't he?  
He could feel Luke's lips on his neck and tried hard not to flinch away. Luke's touch made him nervous, sometimes even scared. He chose to ignore the feeling. He loved Luke. And he wanted to prove it. Prove it to whom? Yourself? His conscience asked. Shut up, Will thought, I love him and I'm gonna have sex with him now.   
And with that he turned towards his boyfriend and smashed their lips together. 

Luke made a small sound of suprise then kissed Will back. He tasted like a whole liquor store, but right now, Will didn't care. He didn't care about the panicked feeling in the pit of his stomach, or that his cheek was definitely bruising. He only cared that this was his boyfriend he was kissing, the man he loved, who had beaten cancer. He didn't actually want sex right now but he wanted Luke to know he loved him, so sex was the obvious thing to do, right?

Will climbed onto Luke's lap and tugged at his shirt.

Luke didn't need another invitation to take off his shirt. As soon as it was off, he pressed himself against Will, pulling him close, their chests touching - which Will tolerated for the sake of peace - and one of his hands sneaking into Will's jeans, squeezing his butt. Will instinctively pushed his hips into Luke's and Luke moaned lightly. He moved until Will was lying back on the bed and he was on top of him, not actually kneeling over him but lying between his legs, grinding his hips into Will's. He stopped kissing him for a moment and pulled away.

“I'm sorry I hit you“, he mumbled. His voice was so slurred Will almost didn't understand him. 

“It's okay“, Will said, even though he knew it really wasn't.

“No, it's not“, Luke shook his head. “I shouldn't have... I love you“

Will's heart fluttered. “I love you“, he whispered and kissed Luke again. He felt better about doing this now. He was almost sure he wanted it. 

Luke took the kiss as an invitation to quickly rid himself of his clothes. Then he started undoing Will's jeans and soon, Will was only wearing his shirt. He grabbed Luke's hand and moved it away when he tried to take it off as well. Luke just sighed and let it be. He started sucking a bruise just benath Will's hip bone and Will closed his eyes, letting small moans escape him as his boyfriend kissed downwards. He gasped in surprise when Luke wrapped his lips around him. Luke rarely made the effort to suck Will off so he hadn't expected it at all. He felt his boyfriend's light chuckle send vibrations through him. It made him moan. He opened his eyes and looked down at Luke for a moment, who was gazing up at him through his long eyelashes, his lids heavy. Will smiled at him, closed his eyes again and fell back on the pillow. He let his thoughts wander, let images flood his mind, but the fantasies of dark eyes and soft hands stopped abruptly when Luke took his mouth away.   
He stared down at him in disappointment. Luke laughed. It sounded genuine. Will liked it. He hadn't felt this loved by Luke in a long time. The sore cheek was pretty much forgotten. Accidents happen, Will told himself.

“Hey, baby boy?“ Luke's surprisingly soft voice interrupted Will's thought. Will flinched at the pet name, he just couldn't help it.

“Yeah?“ He asked nervously.

Luke shuffled until he was kneeling over Will's lap. “I“ He kissed his neck “want you“, another kiss, “to ride me“

Will stiffened. He hadn't done this in a long time and last time, he had messed up and Luke had gotten mad and Will had hidden in the bathroom and cried for an hour.

“Relax“, Luke mumbled and Will's shoulders. He bucked his hips into Will's, making him moan a little. Will relaxed a bit.

“Fine“, he gave in, not wanting to ruin the moment. 

Luke chuckled, kissed him and got off Will's lap, reaching for the lube in his bedside drawer. Will was surprised at how patient Luke was with him as he slowly lowered himself onto Luke. He even gave Will a moment to adjust before he started thrusting into him, leaving both of them in a fit of moans. Even though Will was on top, Luke was in control, moving Will by his hips and occasionally grabbing a fistful of his shirt to pull him down so he could kiss him. Will had his eyes closed and only opened them after he had come, moaning loudly, spilling over Luke's abs. Luke came shortly after him, cursing, his fingers digging into Will's hips. 

Later, after they had showered, Will examined his sore cheek in the bathroom mirror. A purple bruise was blooming on the side of his face. Seeing the damage Luke had done made Will remember how much it hurt, physically and emotionally. When Luke stepped into the bathroom and reached out to touch Will, he flinched away in fear. 

“Hey, Will...“ Luke said quietly.

“Don't touch me, please“, Will snapped. He could hear his heart beating in his ears.

“I won't...“ Luke stepped closer. “I'm so sorry...“   
He took Will's face into his eyes, completely ignoring Will flinching. “I won't ever hurt you again, I swear. I love you, Will. I'm so sorry“   
A tear rolled down his cheek. 

Will's gaze softened. He believed Luke. He wouldn't do it again. 

He was wrong.


	11. Chapter 11

About four months later, Will found himself staring at his injured self in the bathroom mirror once again. The bruises on his ribs were two days old now. The split lip was from last night, just before he had left for his shift. Will carefully reached up and touched it. He didn't know what he had done to deserve this. He knew why he got the bruises - for throwing away Luke's cigarettes, just like he had done on three other occasions over the last three months and each time he had taken a beating for it. He knew why Luke had given him a black eye two weeks ago: for pouring all his liquor down the drain and replacing it with apple juice. He just couldn't stand the drinking anymore. But the bust lip? He had no idea. Luke had just snapped. He did that sometimes. Will often wondered why he was still staying with Luke. 

“Darling, I'm home!“ Luke called from the living room. 

This. This was why. A few months ago, Luke had been distant and depressed. They had fought all the time. Now, they still fought and they fought worse than ever before, but Luke was always so loving and caring after he had hurt Will... Will needed that love. Luke was all he had. He had grown more and more distant to his parents since he was 16, he had never been close to his siblings since they were all older than him and friends... he never really had friends. Well, except for until about half a year ago, when he had met Nico and Percy. He had grown close to them, they were the best friends he'd had since elementary school. Still, he hadn't told them about the problems he was having with Luke and always claimed it was going great. He was sure Nico didn't believe him, Percy probably didn't either. 

“Will?“ Luke called again.

“Coming!“ Will yelled back. He put his shirt back on and left the bathroom. 

Luke was sitting on the couch, a glass of whiskey - Will hoped it was apple juice but he knew it wasn't - in his hand. He was grinning like a maniac and patting the seat next to him on the couch. Will carefully sat down. He was always nervous around Luke. You never know when he'll snap, Will reminded himself every day, don't piss him off. 

“Hey, honey“, He greeted Luke carefully. 

“Baby boy“, Luke smirked and placed a wet kiss on Will's cheek. Will cringed a little.  
“As you know I went to the doctor's today“, Luke continued speaking.

Will nodded.

“And we ran some tests“

Will nodded again, watching nervously as Luke took a sip of his whiskey.

“The cancer has not come back. I'm officially cancer free, baby boy!“ Luke laughed loudly.

Will smiled widely. “Luke, that's amazing! I'm so happy for you!“ he bubbled. He almost tackled Luke with a hug, but he was scared he'd spill the whiskey and make Luke mad. 

“What, no hug for your cancer free boyfriend?“ Luke frowned.

Will hurriedly tackled him with a hug, careful not to hit the glass. Luke hugged him back with one arm, laughing. He kissed Will, then pushed him off. 

“I gotta go“, he declared, downing the rest of the whiskey and setting the glass down on the table. Will knew he expected him to put it away for him and that he would get mad if Will didn't.  
“Ethan and I have a lead on this drug dealer“, he checked his wrist watch. “Damn, 11:30 already...“ 

Will just nodded. He wanted Luke to leave as soon as possible; Percy was out of town and he was taking care of Nico, so he needed to go soon. Nico was having a hard time right now, so he didn't want him to be alone all day. He stood up from the couch and followed Will to the front door to kiss him goodbye. Luke quickly put on his jacket, then turned to Will, cupping his cheek in one hand. Will flinched at his touch. He felt physically ill.

“Bye, baby boy“, Luke leaned in and softly kissed Will's lips. Then he grabbed him by the chin and stared him dead into the eye. “If I find out you're seeing that Percy guy again“, Will felt like he couldn't breathe, “if you are cheating on me“, Luke spat out each word as if they left a bad taste in his mouth, “I will murder you.“  
He let go of Will and quickly left the apartment. Will leant against the wall. He let out all the air he'd been holding in, then burst out in tears.

He had to walk to Nico's place since Luke took the car. It used to be Luke's car, now they shared it. Luke had convinced Will to sell his car, because they needed the money after his surgery, even though Luke had insurance because of his job as a detective. Now, Will took the subway to his shift and back home. To Nico's place, he always walked. It wasn't that far. 

He got to his place at noon and let himself in. As soon as he entered, he registered a familiar smell. Vomit. Oh no. Will knew Nico had circulatory problems because of the antidepressants he was on and sometimes, he just puked and then passed out. Especially if he hadn't taken the meds regularly. Will kicked off his shoes and shrugged off his jacket.

“Nico?“ he called out. 

“In here“, a quiet voice came from the bathroom. 

Will had to step over a stain of vomit on the floorboards to get to the bathroom. The door wasn't locked. He knocked on the door frame to let Nico know he was coming in, then entered.  
Nico was slumped against the wall next to the toilet, his eyes closed. His shirt and chin were stained with vomit. Will crouched down next to him. 

“Hey, Neeks“, he said, using a nickname he had adopted from Percy.

Nico chuckled lightly. He opened his eyes a litte.  
“Hey sunshine boy“, he mumbled. The nickname made Will's heart flutter every time.

Will reached for Nico's hand and squeezed it lightly. With every other guy, he'd feel extremely guilty because he had a boyfriend after all, but with Nico it seemed so... different. Comfortable. Also, Luke still didn't know Nico existed. This was the only rebellious thing Will ever did. And he loved it. 

“Your meds?“ He asked Nico, who nodded weakly. 

“I'm really dizzy. I threw up“, Nico mumbled. 

“How bad is it?“ 

“Not too bad“, Nico looked up at Will, his eyes barely open. 

“You think you can get up?“ Will asked, still holding Nico's hand. 

Nico nodded. Will stood up and gently pulled him to his feet. Nico stumbled a little, so Will put an arm around his waist and guided him out of the bathroom and to his bed. He got him a tissue and a juice box, then went to clean up the stain. When he returned to Nico's room, Nico was still laying on the bed, eyes closed, the juice box untouched.  
Will sighed and sat next to him on the bed, lightly shaking his shoulder. Nico opened his eyes. He smiled, then frowned. 

“What happened to your lip?“ 

“A patient freaked out and hit me by accident“, Will always had a bunch of excuses prepared. 

Nico didn't look convinced. “You should leave him...“ he mumbled. 

Will sighed, a little annoyed. “I wish people would stop acting like they know better about my love life than I do“  
He grabbed the juice box and placed it in Nico's hand. “Drink that. Slowly. Small sips. I'm gonna go make breakfast. And change your shirt. And take your meds“

When he reached the kitchen he realized how much snappier than usual he'd been recently.  So what. Happens sometimes, he told himself. About halfway through him preparing breakfast - at noon - Nico entered the kitchen. He had changed shirts, wiped his chin and tied his hair up. When he turned his back to Will to throw away his empty juice box, Will stared at the tattoo  at the back of his neck. Ghost King. He always wondered what that meant. 

“Sorry I snapped at you“, he mumbled and flipped a pancake. 

“ 'S okay“, Nico stepped up to him and laid a hand on his shoulder. Will flinched. Nico immediately took his hand away and apologized. 

They ate on the couch. More specifically, Will was on the couch, Nico was on the coffee table. Nervously, Will broke the comfortable that had been filling the room until now: 

“Neeks?“

“Hmm?“

“What does 'Ghost King' mean?“ 

Nico set down his plate. Will was already scared he had messed up, but Nico shot him a quick smile, which calmed him down a little.

“My sister used to call me that“, Nico mumbled and played with the skull ring he was always wearing. 

“You have a sister?“ Will blurted out without thinking. He immediately regretted it when he saw how sad Nico looked.

“Had.“ 

“Neeks, I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have asked“, Will rambled. Nico held up a hand.

“No, it's fine, Percy always tells me I should open up more and I trust you...“ he reached out and took Will's hand. Will flinched, but held onto Nico's hand when he tried to pull it back. Nico smiled, took a deep breath and started speaking. 

“My sister Bianca was three years older than me. She was absolutely amazing, always took care of me, especially 'cause our mother died during childbirth... she became friends with this guy Chris when she was 16 and after a few months they started dating. I never liked the guy and my dad didn't either. He was beating her, like she was always covered in bruises and shit... and when she was 18“, a small sob escaped Nico's throat. 

Will squeezed his hand, running his thumb over the small, scarred B. It pained him to see Nico cry and to know he had gone through pain like this.

“When she was 18“, Nico mumbled, “And she graduated high school, she ran away with him. She threw away her phone, packed a bag and just disappeared. She left me a note, saying she loved him and that she needed to be with him.“  
Nico was full on sobbing now. Will took the plate off his lap, stood up and pulled Nico into a hug. Nico cried into his chest. Will flinched at the sudden contact with his ribcage. Nico immediately moved away and apologized, obviously thinking it was about Will's insecurity, when really Will didn't mind. Nico had simply hurt his bruises. 

“She ran away with him“, Will could hardly understand Nico through his sobbing. “And two weeks later, the police pulled her body out of a lake in New Jersey. Chris fucking killed her!“ Nico completely broke down. Will pulled him close, fell back onto the couch and just held him, ignoring the pain pulsing in his ribs. 

“I'm so sorry, Neeks“, He whispered and kissed the top of Nico's head. He didn't know why, but it felt right. “I'm so, so sorry“ 

They stayed like that for almost an hour; Nico on Will's lap, Will's arms around him. Will had his eyes closed, his nose buried in Nico's hair, who was still quietly sobbing. He never wanted this moment to end. He hadn't felt this safe in weeks, months. But of course, the moment had to end eventually. Nico stopped crying and shifted on Will's lap. Will opened his eyes and looked down at his friend. Nico's eyes were bloodshot and puffy. Will hated to see him like this. 

“You okay?“ He asked quietly. Nico nodded. He smiled at Will and Will smiled back. They locked eyes and Will could swear that for a second, just a second, Nico had glanced at his lips. Why would Nico look at Will's lips when his own were so much more beautiful? Will should know because he was staring at them. The crooked smile, the rosy colour... he was completely mesmerized. He only snapped out of it when Nico suddenly moved closer, leaning in. Will flinched away, averting his gaze.

“Sorry...“, he mumbled, his cheeks burning. Nico climbed off his lap. 

“I'll just... clean this up“, he said awkwardly. 

Will watched him collect the dishes and leftover food with bright red cheeks. His heart was beating like crazy. What was going on? He remembered the last time he had felt this way: when he had met Luke on that rainy day when he was sixteen. On the day of the accident that had left with a scar and a crippling insecurity. He remembered it like it was yesterday; seeing Luke for the first time, in his police uniform, his blond hair soaking wet and sticking to his forehead, looking into his blue eyes and feeling his heartbeat speed up. Two weeks later, Luke had asked him out. Three weeks later, they were dating. Up to this day, Will believed that the day of the accident was the day he had fallen in love with Luke. And he had never fallen out of love. He loved Luke with all his heart. But why, why the hell did feel this way about Nico now, why was he having a moment like this with him? He wasn't falling in love with him! He loved his boyfriend! Will buried his head in his hands and groaned. This was all too much. His ribs were pounding, his lip was stinging and his head was spinning. He felt a familiar feeling of anxiety rising. His breathing grew shallow. Quickly, he found himself on the verge of a anxiety attack. He'd been having them a lot recently, but they weren't nearly as bad as the full blown panic attacks he had at least once a week. 

He heard Nico come back from the kitchen. He sat next to him. 

“Hey...“, he said awkwardly. When Will looked up at him, he frowned. “Are you okay?“

Will nodded, desperately trying to calm himself down. Unlike the panic attacks, he had learned to deal with his anxiety pretty quickly. 

Nico looked at him for a moment before speaking.  
“Do you wanna see my new art work? It's for a friend of Percy's“

Will nodded. “Sure“

Nico led him too his room and grabbed a sheet of paper off his desk. He handed it to Will, who held it with shaky fingers. It was a beautifully detailed horse emerging from a storm cloud on his hind legs. 

“Oh wow“, Will muttered.

“It's for a guy named Jason Grace. Percy and I went to high school with him. He's coming to visit us soon, because he's here on business.“

“What kind of business?“ Will asked and gave Nico back the paper. “It's beautiful, Neeks“

“Thanks“, Nico smiled warmly, which made Will's tummy warm. “He's a high school teacher I think. But he used to be a model, too. Before he lost his leg that is.“

“Before what now?“ Will asked in surprise. 

“Yeah, he was hit by a car a few years ago. Jumped in front of a taxi to push an old lady out of the way“, Nico laughed. “He's heroic like that“

Will laughed, too. He couldn't help it, hearing Nico laugh just made him happy. He also felt a lot calmer now. His phone rang. When he checked it, he immediately stopped laughing. He answered the call. 

“Hey, honey“, He said nervously. Why was Luke calling? Had he done something wrong? Had he found out he was with Nico?

“Hey, baby boy“ Luke sounded cheerful. Good. “I just wanted to let you know I'll be home in like an hour, and I need you to cut my hair, 'kay?“

“Yeah, sure“, Will said, forcing a smile. 

“Great, gotta go, love you, bye“, Luke recited his usual text in an almost monochrome voice. 

“I love you, too“ Will mumbled. Luke hung up. Will turned to Nico. “I gotta get home. I'm sorry“

Nico looked at him with an expression Will couldn't read. Worry? Hurt? General bad mood?  
“Okay“, he simply said. Immediately, Will felt bad. 

“Sorry“, he mumbled again. Apologizing for every little thing had become a habit of his. Nico's face softened a little. 

“Hey, it's okay“, he said firmly and locked eyes with Will, who nodded uncertainly. 

Nico walked him to the door. 

“Hey, you took your meds, right?“ Will asked, his hand already on the door handle. Nico nodded. Will turned to leave but before he could walk through the door, Nico grabbed him by the sleeve. Will turned back to him, a little confused. Nico laid his hand on Will's cheek and ran his thumb over the cut on his lip. Will's breathing hitched.

“Please don't let him hurt you again“, Nico mumbled, before he stood on his tip toes to pull Will into a hug. Will let go of the door handle and hugged him back, ignoring the pain in his ribs. He felt Nico rest his head on his shoulder and pulled him in closer, closing the gap Nico had left out of respect for Will's discomfort about his chest. 

“He's not hurting me“, He mumbled into Nico's hair. 

“She used to say that, too“, Nico whispered. Will could hear the hurt in his voice. He pulled him in even closer, gritting his teeth when sharp pain shot through his ribcage. After a few seconds, he pulled away. 

“I'm sorry, I really need to go... Luke will be home soon“

Nico nodded. He took Will's hand and gave it a small squeeze.  
“Are you coming back tomorrow?“ 

Will smiled. “Yeah, I'll try“

The walk home usually took about ten to fifteen minutes, but Will walked faster than usual so he would be there before Luke was. If Luke found out where he had been... oh boy, oooh boy. He couldn't get the moment between him and Nico earlier out of his head. What the heck was that? 

Will had only been home for five minutes when he heard Luke opening the front door. Instantly, he jumped to his feet and began straightening out his clothes and sorting out his hair. He grabbed one of Luke's sweatshirts off a chair and quickly put it on, knowing that Luke would like it. He'd always loved marking Will as his, wether it was through hickies, holding hands or kissing in front of people or having Will wear his clothes.

Luke was in a good mood, greeting Will with a kiss on the lips, before he pulled him to the bathroom. Will had been cutting Luke's hair for two years now, ever since it had grown long enough to be styled after the chemotherapy. It wasn't anything spectacular, Will was by no means a professional hair stylist, but buzzing down the sides and giving the top a little trim he could do. He knew how special his hair was to Luke so he tried his best.

He remembered when it had started falling out. They had been making out in the car, Will on Luke's lap, and he had been tangling his fingers in Luke's hair and when he he pulled away, his hands were full of soft blond hair. Luke had cried and yelled at Will. It had been a shock for Will, he had never really seen Luke like this before. Now, Luke was like that all the time, but back then... Will had never seen Luke cry like that before. Now, Luke cried after every fight they had, after every time he hurt Will while expressing his regret and apologizing profoundly. Twenty year old Will knew Luke a lot better than eighteen year old Will. And he hadn't really touched his hair since then.


	12. Chapter 12

Will came home the next morning, exhausted after his shift. He found Luke on the balcony, smoking. Immediately, he panicked. This was unusual, Luke usually slept in a little longer before he had to go to work. And anything unusual could mean fighting. He took a deep breath and stepped out on the balcony.

“Honey?“ He asked softly, fiddling with the zipper of his uniform jacket. Luke turned to him and his gaze wasn't as hard as Will expected, rather it was soft, almost vulnerable. 

“Do you think it makes me weak?“ He asked as he pulled up his shirt, revealing his surgical scar. Will could swear Luke had tears in his eyes.

“Oh no, babe, no“, He whispered, stepping closer and cupping Luke's face in his hands. He did so very carefully, but Luke let him. Luke looked down at the scar. He shrugged. “Hey, you're so incredibly strong. You beat cancer. You're a cop. And I love you“, Will told him. Luke smiled weakly. He laid a shaky hand on his scar. 

“It hurts“, he whispered hoarsely. A tear rolled down his cheek. “It hurts so fucking much“  
He burst into tears. Will wiped some of them away with his thumbs. His heart ached. He knew how Luke felt. His scar still hurt sometimes, five years later. He hated to see his boyfriend cry - but he lived for these rare moments of vulnerability. They were what held him bound, what made him stay with Luke. These were the rare moments where Luke needed him, where, maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't get mad. He laid his hand on Luke's. 

“Can I touch it?“ he asked softly. Instead of an answer, Luke grabbed Will's hand and placed it on the scar. Will carefully ran his thumb over the pink stitches and felt Luke shiver. The scar tissue felt strange against the toned muscles underneath Luke's skin. Will envied him a little, his scar was so much smaller and smoother than the monstrosity on Will's own abdomen. When he looked up at Luke again, he saw him smile. Luke rarely smiled. He flicked the cigarette bud over the balcony rail and pulled Will in for a kiss. He tasted absolutely disgusting because of the tobacco, but Will still let him slip his tongue into his mouth. 

“Babe, I need to go shower“, Will mumbled. Luke smirked. 

“I'll join you“

As soon as Luke left for work, Will took off. He had left a note on the fridge: '@ kaylas today. Call me if you need me. Love you'   
He knew Kayla was on holiday for a week and wouldn't answer the phone, just in case Luke called her to find out if Will was lying. He walked the way to Nico's place - running hurt his ribs - as quickly as he could and let himself in as usual. The apartment was dark. It was only eight in the morning, Nico was probably asleep. Will softly knocked on his door, when Nico didn't answer, he opened it. Nico was asleep. Watching him reminded Will how tired he was. Just when he was about to close the door and sleep on the couch, he heard a soft voice from inside the room.

“'S that you, Will?“ 

“Yeah“, he answered.

“You wanna come sleep?“

Will smiled. They had done this a few times before. Nico called it 'platonic cuddling'. Will loved it. He quietly closed the door behind him and quickly got out of his jeans and sweatshirt, crawling into bed wearing only his shirt and underwear. 

“Hey sunshine boy“, Nico mumbled and opened his arms. 

“Hey Neeks“, Will snuggled into him. He used to feel incredibly guilty about doing this, but at some point, he stopped caring. With Nico's head against his shoulder and a blush on his cheeks he quickly fell asleep. 

He woke up to an empty bed. When he looked around the room, he saw a topless Nico at his desk, leaning over what Will assumed was a sketch.

“Mornin'“, he yawned. Nico turned to look at him.

“Oh, hey“, he grabbed a mug off the table and stood up, then sat on the bed next to Will. He held the mug in front of his face. “Coffee?“

Will sat up in bed, took the cup from Nico and drank. Nico leaned against the headboard, hugging his knees to his chest. 

“Will?“ 

“Hmm?“ 

“Why do you have bruises on your wrists?“ 

Will choked on his coffee. He thought the bruises had faded enough for him to wear short sleeves again. Guess they hadn't. He didn't know what to answer. He had a feeling Nico already knew. And he desperately wanted to get it off his chest, but still. Admitting that something was wrong would end his relationship. He didn't want that. Should he say nothing? Lie? His body's reaction saved him from having to make a decision. Will burst into tears. 

“Oh, no“, he heard Nico mumble, “oh, Will“

He felt Nico take the mug from him, then an arm wrapping around his shoulder. He leaned into Nico, letting the tears flow. He hadn't cried in ages. He had just been numb. Now, all his emotions were flooding back to him and he just couldn't contain them. He didn't know how long he cried for. But at some point he had to stop. He had now tears left. Nico was with him the whole time, holding him close. 

“Hey, Neeks?“ he mumbled.

“Yes, sunshine?“ 

“Did you take your meds yet?“ 

He didn't mean to, but he made Nico laugh. “I did“

“That's good“

“Do you want breakfast?“

Will nodded. Nico got off the bed, downed the rest of the coffee left in the mug and left the room. Will could hear him rummage through the kitchen. He straightened out his shirt and slowly got out of bed, got dressed and made his way to the kitchen. For a moment he just stood in the door and stared at Nico. Or more specifically, Nico's back. He liked the way it looked; the long, dark hair falling over his shoulders, how slim his waist was. The small dimples just over the waistband of his sweatbands. Will felt a strange urge to run his fingers down Nico's spine, or to kiss those prominent shoulder blades... woah. Calm down, Will. You have a boyfriend. Nico suddenly turned around, causing Will to snap out of his trance and blush. 

They sat on the counters and ate their pancakes and bacon. Will was still bright red, which Nico found hilarious. He kept teasing Will about it and Will just did his best to keep his cool. Yesterday's weird moment of intimacy crossed his mind again. 

“Hey, tomato face“, Nico said after a moment of silence.

“I liked the other nickname better“, Will laughed.

Nico shrugged. “Hey, sunshine“

Will blushed even more. “Yes, Neeks?“

“Percy's coming home today“, Nico announced through a mouthful of food. 

“Swallow your food, doofus“, Will joked.

“Oh, you want me to swallow?“ Nico said with a now empty mouth. He raised an eyebrow. Will choked on his food. 

Percy came home in the late afternoon. His arrival awoke Will from his nap on the couch, or rather, Nico's reaction did. He yelled at the top of his lungs and tackled Percy with a hug. Percy dropped his bag and hugged his friend back. As soon as he had untangled himself from Nico he hugged Will. 

“Guys I have news“, he announced as he was taking off his shoes. “Annabeth is currently wrapping up her project in San Fran and will be officially moving in in a few weeks“

Nico high fived him. “Can't wait to see her again“  
He turned to Will. “Annabeth is one of the prettiest, smartest and scariest people you'll ever meet“

Percy laughed. “And that's why we thought he had a crush“

“When I actually had a crush on you“, Nico giggled

“I mean, how could you not“, Percy joked and wiggled his eyebrows. 

Nico laughed and slapped Percy's butt. Percy yelped, then began laughing uncontrollably.

Will watched the whole scene with a smile. He loved to see how much more comfortable Nico had become with his sexuality over the last few months. 

“Alright, I'm gonna grab a snack“, Percy took off to the kitchen. Will noticed Nico looking at him.

“What? You wanna slap my ass, too?“ He joked.

“Oh I'd love to“, Nico smirked. Will ignored the blush burning on his cheeks. This didn't mean anything they flirted like this every now and again, if you could even call harmless jokes like this flirting. 

“Go for it“, he joked, turning his back towards Nico a little. 

And Nico did go for it, he really did. He even grabbed Will's butt a little. Will laughed. He couldn't deny that he was turned on. But it didn't mean anything. He was in a relationship after all. 

“Geez, just make out already“, Percy said from behind them. Will jumped. Nico just laughed, but Will could see how red he was. How he fiddled with his fingers. Percy walked past them, winking. “I'm gonna take a shower. Try not to fuck on the couch“

“Excuse me, I have a boyfriend“, Will said. Percy just laughed. 

Will went home soon after. When he hugged Nico goodbye, they both couldn't stop blushing, which Percy just laughed at. 

Will was in such a good mood the entire way home, he pretty much skipped instead of walked. His cheerfulness ceased as soon as he spotted Luke's car parked in front of their apartment. Shit. He was home early. He checked his phone. Luke hadn't called. Weird. Bad. Will's legs were shaking as he ran up the stairs to their apartment. His fingers were numb and he almost dropped his keys. He entered the apartment as quietly as possible. As he was taking off his shoes, Luke appeared from the living room, still in his uniform. 

“Hey, baby boy“, he said. His cold tone made Will shiver. 

“Hey, honey“, Will shot him a  nervous smile. Luke didn't return it. 

“Where were you?“ Luke asked harshly. Will flinched. 

“At Kayla's. I left you a note“, he said, trying to sound confident. 

“I know. But I don't believe you“, Luke came closer. Will backed away from him.

“Honey, why would I lie to you?“ he mustered up a smile, but he was scared of what could happen. 

“You were with that Percy guy again, weren't you? Tell me, William“, Will choked. Luke using his full name meant trouble. He never did that. “Does he kiss better than I do?“ He stepped closer and Will's back hit the wall. Luke smashed his mouth into Will's, grabbed his already sore wrists and pinned him up against the wall. Will didn't kiss him back, he just squeezed his eyes and lips shut. He didn't even struggle against Luke's grip, he just waited for it to be over. Luke didn't like that. He pulled away and growled at Will:

“So he does“

“No, Luke, I'm not cheating on you!“ Will yelped. His pulse was racing. 

“Liar!“ Luke yelled. Will flinched. He struggled against Luke's grip. It tightened, making Will wince in pain. 

“Luke, please!“ He yelped. “I love you!“

Luke suddenly got very close to his face. “Liar“, he whispered sharply and suddenly, Will found himself on the floor, his cheek burning with pain. The pulsing ache in his ribs left him breathless, but it was nothing in comparison to the agony of Luke's police boot suddenly crashing into Will's ribs and side and again and again. Will screamed out, his whole body was on fire, he felt nothing but the pain. The pain of a steel cap colliding with his ribs and stomach and the even worse pain of knowing that this was his boyfriend, the man he loved. He curled up into a ball and squeezed his eyes shut so he wouldn't see Luke over him. A few tears escaped. This was a nightmare. His worst nightmare. After a few kicks, through the crying and the screams and Luke's heavy breathing, they both heard a loud crack. Will screamed in pain. It was the worst pain he had ever felt. He felt like his lungs were collapsing (which he knew was at medically speaking not the case, thank God). Luke stopped kicking and let out a choked sob. Will felt him kneel down at his side. He squeezed shut even tighter and turned away from Luke. He immediately regretted moving. It hurt like a bitch. 

“Will“, Luke softly said above him. 

“Go away“, Will sobbed. 

“Will, I'm so sorry“, Luke was definitely crying.

“Leave me alone!“ Will felt Luke lay a hand on his shoulder and flinched. “Don't you dare touch me! Just leave me alone!“

“Will, baby, I...“ 

“Just fucking leave!“ Will screamed out. Then he screamed again because screaming hurt his ribs. He heard Luke's footsteps, then the door to the balcony. When he opened his eyes and blinked a few tears away, he could see Luke on the balcony, a cigarette between his fingers, his head in his hand, his shoulders shaking as he was crying. Somehow, Will didn't care. He didn't care Luke was beating himself up for literally beating up Will, his god damn boyfriend. For the first time, he was angry at Luke for hurting him. Why was he doing this? Didn't he love him? He wanted to yell and scream at Luke but right now, he had to focus on getting off the floor. He didn't want to ask Luke for help, he was the cause of all of this after all. In slow motion, Will rolled onto his back, then sat up and, with the help of the wall, stood up and walked to the bedroom. Like he was on autopilot, he pulled his uniform out of a pile of clothes and slowly put it on, then washed his face and made his way through the apartment to the front door. He didn't even bother to make a sandwhich as a snack or bring a bottle of water. Just as he walked by the living room, Luke appeared in the door frame. 

“Where are you going?“ He asked like it wasn't obvious. 

“I have work.“ Will's voice was the coldest it had ever been. 

“Baby, you can't work like this...“ Luke reached out and tried to touch him, but Will slapped his hand away, then hissed in pain. 

“I'm going to work. You can't stop me“, Will snapped. He slowly, with his arm around his ribs, made his way to the door and left. 

After entering the ER, he didn't even make it to the break room where he had intended to wait for the begin of his shift, before a familiar voice called out:

“William!“ 

Wilk turned around to see his brother Michael marching towards him, a concerned look on his face. 

“Hey, bro“, Will raised a hand and immediately winced in pain.

“Will, what's wrong?“

“Nothing“, Will did his best to stand up straight and faked a smile.

“Will, you walk like the Hunchback of Notre Dame, you're as pale as a ghost and you look like you can't even breathe. What the hell happened?“

Will chuckled lightly. “You sound like Mom“

Michael put his hands on his hips and repeated the question. “Will, what the fuck happened?“ 

“I, uh, I think my ribs are broken“

Michael used his many contacts to get Will into radiology as quickly as possible. It turned out, Will had four broken and two cracked ribs on the left. His entire torso was covered in bruises.  Michael looked at Will in shock. “Did he do this to you?“

Will almost denied it, like he usually did, but his anger at Luke got the best of him. He nodded and lifted his arms so Michael could help him put his shirt back on. 

“Oh god... Will you need to go to the police“

Will shook his head. He clutched the bottle of pain killers Michael had given him. “No, no. I'll get this sorted out by myself. Besides, Luke is a cop. Who knows how many... allies he has in the NYPD“

Michael thought for a moment, then nodded. “Okay. But if he does it again. You. Call. Me. You can always sleep at my place, I'm sure Nyssa won't mind“

Will nodded, then frowned. “Wait, Nyssa?“

Michael smiled sheepishly. “Yeah we're kinda together now... she's staying at my place because it's closer to the hospital...“

“Yeah, sure that's the only reason“, Will grinned. “Congrats, bro“, he checked his watch. “Oh, shoot, I gotta get to my shift“   
He tried to stand up but Michael stopped him.

“Will, you're not working tonight. Or the next few weeks. I'm giving these“, he held up the x-rays, “to your boss and I'm going to make sure someone covers your shift. Get your shit, I'm driving you to my place“

“Okay“, Will sighed in defeat. “But I'm not staying at your place. I know where to go“


	13. Chapter 13

He let himself into Nico's apartment using the spare key and startled Percy, who had been napping on the couch. 

“Will, hey“, Percy said while getting back on the couch. He had fallen off. “Oh wow, you look like shit.“

“I feel like shit, too“ Will replied as he kicked off his boots and shrugged off his jacket. “Is Nico in his room?“

“Yeah“, Percy frowned. “Why are you in your uniform? Shouldn't you be working?“

“Yeah“, Will simply said before disappearing into Nico's room. 

Nico was sitting at his desk, working on a sketch Will recognized to be the tattoo he was preparing for his friend Jason. 

“Hey, Neeks“, he greeted him, closing the door behind him. 

“Oh, hey“, Nico looked surprised. “What are you doing here, sunshine? Shouldn't you be at work?“

“I- I need some platonic cuddling“, Will couldn't hide the cracking in his voice. “Would that be alright?“

Nico got off his chair and stepped close to Will.  
“Of course it would“, he mumbled and reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind Will's hair (he had been letting it grow for a while). “You look like hell, sunshine. What happened?“

Will didn't answer. He laid his hand over the one Nico had raised. Nico's smile softened. He shrugged off his hoodie and sat on the bed, watching Will as he - very slowly - took off his uniform pants and laid down on the bed. He held out an arm and Will leaned into his side. They sat in silence, except for Will's noisy, shallow breaths. 

“Neeks“, he said after a moment. “I need to tell you something.“ He didn't care right now. He was high on painkillers, he was hurt and angry and he was so, so sick of lying to his best friend. 

“... Okay“, Nico replied. Will sat up a little straighter, which was painful, took as deep of a breath as he could take right now and started talking:

“You were right. I lied to you. Luke did hurt me“, Will felt tears forming. Nico's face was blank. Will cleared his throat. “He was... is responsible for my lip and my wrist and other things that you didn't see...“ Will swallowed. This was hard. And he still couldn't read Nico's face. “And tonight, it just... I'm so angry“ 

Suddenly, Nico took his arm away. He moved off Will's side and kneeled in front of him. His eyes were pitch black, his mouth was a thin line. When Will looked at his hands, he could see his knuckles were white from balling his fists. He got a little nervous. He didn't want Nico to be angry with him for lying. 

“Will“, Nico's voice was a deep growl. “What did he do to you?“

Will slowly reached up and pulled off his shirt, revealing his bruised torso. Luckily, the scar was covered in bruises and almost invisible. Nico gasped lightly. Will looked at him nervously as Nico shakily reached up and almost laid his hands on Will's chest. They hovered over the blue and purple skin. 

“It's okay, you can touch me“, Will wispered. Nico lightly laid his hands on Will's chest. A shiver ran down Will's back. A good shiver. Will nervously chewed on his lip as he watched Nico trail his long fingers along the bruises. 

“I'm going to fucking murder him“, Will heard him whisper. “I'm going to literally tear him apart“  
Will was a little taken aback. He had never seen Nico this angry.  
“Are you mad at me?“, he asked quietly. “For lying to you?“

Nico looked up at him and his face softened. “No, sunshine, of course not. I'm glad you told me, really“

Wilk nodded. A tear rolled down his cheek. 

“Oh, Will“, Nico whispered. He took Will's hands in his and placed a few kisses on his knuckles. “I'm so sorry“

Will sniffed. “Fucking shit“, he mumbled. 

Nico stared at his chest. “How bad is it?“, he asked in a shaky voice. 

“Four broken and two lightly cracked ribs“, Will whispered. 

“I'm going to actually fucking murder that son of a bitch“, Nico hissed through gritted teeth. 

Will didn't like the anger. He was sick of anger. Of his own, of Luke's, of everyone's anger. 

“Please,“ he whispered. “Just hold me right now.“

They spent about two hours just cuddling. Will had put his shirt back on and was resting as comfortably as he could in Nico's arms, listening to Nico talk. 

“So I moved in with Percy when I was fifteen. And just before that, I got my hair cut, like some sort of undercut-like thing. And since then“, Nico lightly shook his head, making his hair fly. Will laughed a little. “ -I just let it grow. Percy keeps joking that he wants to braid it, but I don't think he knows how to braid.“ Nico laughed. Will lobdd the way his laugh sounded. He was so high on meds on adrenaline that he just told Nico. Nico blushed a deep red. 

“And I like your smile“, he said quietly. Now it was Will's turn to blush. Nico chuckled. “You're cute“

“Stop“, Will mumbled, though he was flattered. He liked the conversation being about childhood stories. “When I was like, twelve, I had really long hair like down to my shoulders. Then I fought with my brother and he cut it all off when I was sleeping“

Nico looked a little shocked. “No“

Will chuckled. “Yeah, he did“

“Which brother?“

“Austin. He always played dirty“

“Tell me about your siblings“, Nico laid his head on Will's shoulder. 

“Okay, so Michael's the oldest. He's six years older than me and he's the head of the emergency room now. We weren't really that close growing up but it got better when I started working with him“  
Will's head felt funny. He probably shouldn't have taken that many painkillers. They made him tired.  
“Then there's my sister Kayla, she's a year younger than Michael and she just got married a while ago. She's a nurse at pediatrics“

“Pediatrics?“ Nico mumbled. 

“The kid's station. She's great with children. Always said she's gonna have so many that she can have her own soccer team“, Will chuckled. 

“Do you want kids?“ Nico asked just out of the blue. 

Will was a little surprised but answered nonetheless. “Luke and I talked about it befo-“

“No, not you and Luke“, Nico interrupted him. “Just you“

Will paused for a moment and thought about. “I'd love to have children“, he said quietly. “But I would be scared to raise them on my own. What if I mess up and raise a future drug addict?“  
He felt Nico smile against his shoulder. 

“I think you'd be great. But why a drug addict? Why not a serial killer?“

Will shrugged a little, which hurt. “I guess I just encountered more drug addicts than serial killers. I definitely had more die on me.“

“Doesn't it ever get you down? Your job?“ Nico asked and cuddled a little closer to Will, obviously careful not to hurt him. 

“Sometimes“, Will mumbled. “I remember when Austin and I scooped you up. I held your hand on the entire way to the hospital“  
He felt Nico chuckle. 

“That's adorable. You're so sweet“ 

“Most people would think it's creepy to hold an unconcious strangers hand“

“It is a little creepy. But in retrospective I think it's cute“

Will just nodded. The pain killers made him feel tired. His eyelids were heavy. He briefly registered Nico taking his hand and lacing their fingers together before he dozed off.

 

Will didn't want to go back home to Luke. When he expressed this to Nico, he told him that he didn't want him to go home either. They decided Will should just stay with him and Percy for a while, just a few days, maybe a week. While Luke was at work - Will had called the house phone to make sure he wasn't home - he and Nico went to grab some stuff. Actually, they took a motorcycle Will didn't know Nico owned. 

“My dad gave it to me when I turned eighteen“, Nico explained. Will knew Nico didn't talk to his father very often after his sister died but his dad still took care of him financially. He held on tight during the short drive, enjoying the wind tugging on his clothes. Percy's clothes, actually. He had borrowed them. 

Luke's car was indeed gone when they arrived at Will's place. As they walked up the stairs to the apartment, Will's heart was pumping almost painfully fast. Nico seemed to notice. He took Will's hand and squeezed it. 

Will shot him a quick smile and unlocked the door. The smell of cold smoke practically slapped him in the face. Nico coughed a few times. 

“I think there's been a fire“, he said hoarsely. Will shook his head no. 

“Luke smokes“, he said quietly. There was at least a full pack of cigarettes worth of cold smoke in the air. Luke always smoked after fights but Will leaving must have left quite an impact. Will felt a little guilty for a moment, but the feeling quickly ceased. Luke hurting him was the reason Will had left. 

There were quite a lot of empty bottles in the kitchen. Will stared at them for a moment. 

“Hey Will?“, Nico called from the living room. Will found him staring at the pictures on the walls. 

“Yeah, I put them up“, Will said. 

“These are all just you and Luke?“

“Yeah“

Nico looked at Will a little strangely for a moment, then spoke. “Okay, let's grab your clothes then.“

Will quickly packed a bunch of clothes, his toothbrush and phone charger. While he was rummaging through the closets and cupboards, Nico was sitting on the bed, a framed picture from the living room in his hands. Will leaned over, his packed bag in his hand, and tried to see the photo.

“You look cute in this“, Nico mumbled and showed him the photograph. It was the one of Luke and Will during the chemotherapy.  
“How old were you?“

“Eighteen“, Will mumbled and took the picture from Nico's hand. Nico stood up from the bed and smiled at Will. 

“You have so many freckles in this, it's adorable“

Will felt his cheeks heat up. No one ever called his freckles cute. When Will put the photograph back in its place on the wall, he saw that the dust had been wiped off his face. With a smile he realized what that meant; Nico must have stroked it.


	14. Chapter 14

After two days at Nico's and Percy's place, Nico asked a question Will had been dreading to hear.

“Will?“ 

“Hmm?“  
They were hanging out in the living room. Will was reading, Nico was playing on his phone and Percy had just left for work. 

“The scar on your stomach... was that Luke?“

Will almost dropped his book. He hadn't realized Nico had seen the scar, he thought the bruises had covered it or at least distracted from it.   
“Uhh... no“, he said. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Nico raising an eyebrow. He clearly didn't believe him. Will was strangely offended and out of spite, he decided to tell the story. He put his book down and turned to Nico.  
“When I was sixteen, I had an accident“, he said and as he spoke, the memories flooded his mind and played before his eyes like a movie:

Will and his sister Kayla had been on their way to the movies. It was the middle of winter and freezing cold. That was why the streets were dangerously icy; and even though Kayla managed to keep her vehicle under control, the other driver could not. His truck crashed into the passenger side of the car and from this moment on, Will's memory was blank. He only remembered the wet heat on his stomach and the freezing cold everywhere else. The moment of panic when he realized blood was pooling out of him and the screaming pain in his arm when he tried to move it. The ringing in his ears, so deafening he almost couldn't hear the voice calling out to him. Blue eyes as icy as the winter sky above met his and less than a second later, Will was screaming out in pain as hands pressed down on his torn abdomen, trying to keep him from bleeding out. Will kept asking about Kayla over and over again, afraid she might be hurt, or worse, dead, then lost consciousness. He slipped in and out of the blackness, barely registering that finally, with flashing lights and blaring sirens, the ambulance came and took him to the hospital. The icy blue eyes kept watch over him the entire time.

Later he learned that it had been Luke's first day on the force. He and his partner had seen the accident happen from afar. The ambulance they had called had gotten stuck in the snow. 

“Kayla only sprained her wrist, she got lucky. I didn't“, Will tried his best to keep his voice steady. Nico was watching him talk with a shocked expression. “I broke my arm. There was a giant piece of metal stuck in my stomach. The doctors said if Luke hadn't been there I would have been dead.“   
Will subconsciously laid a hand on the scar. Sometimes he could still feel the pain. Nico was completely silent. Slowly, he reached out and took Will's hand. 

“I'm sorry“, he whispered. Will squeezed his hand to let him know it was okay. He was stuck in his head a little. His chest was aching from the overwhelming feeling he had first discovered when meeting Luke for the first time and that he was now reliving. His scar was stinging and Will pressed his hand to it even more firmly. He snapped back to reality when Nico squeezed his hand.   
“I'm sorry“, Nico whispered again. “I shouldn't have asked“

“No, I'm glad I told you“, Will mumbled. He really was.

 

Will enjoyed the daily life at Nico's and Percy's place. The three of them got up together in the morning, had breakfast and usually, Percy was the first to leave for work. Nico had finished his training a few months ago and was now working shifts at the tattoo parlor. So, Will was alone for at least few hours a day. He was fine, mostly. Sometimes he just stared out of the window for a what felt like hours, trying to sort out the chaos in his head and his heart.   
Luke texted a few times, but never called. His texts were all along the lines of “I'm sorry. Hope you're okay. I love you“. Will ignored them. He briefly wondered where Luke thought he was, if he was staying with a sibling or with Percy. He shook the thought from his mind when he realized it made him anxious.   
His ribs were still aching and he found himself pressing his hand to his scar more and more often. Having opened up to Nico about the accident made him feel like a weight was lifted off his shoulders but at the same time, he was a little nervous about being so vulnerable. 

One evening, Will was lying on Nico's bed, half asleep, watching Nico sketch. He had just gotten out of the shower so he was only in his underwear and Will was watching Nico's bare torso with fascination. He loved the curve of his waist and neck, the line of his jaw, the strands of hair against his collarbones. He adored the way the muscles in his arm and shoulder moved underneath his pale skin. The way Nico's body looked made Will feel a certain way. He couldn't quite but his finger on what it was, but it made him want to run his hands along the curve of Nico's waist and to pull him in, feel his rosy lips against his own... woah, Will, that's gay. When Nico suddenly turned to look at him, Will blushed a deep red. 

“What's wrong, sunshine?“ Nico asked and took a sip of his tea. He smelled the cup first. Yesterday, Nico had accidentally taken a big gulp of paint water, which had left him coughing and Will laughing.

“Can you come here?“ Will patted the bed next to him. He craved touch and affection right now. Nico raised a playful eyebrow at him, but immediately sat down his mug and stood up from his chair. Will opened up his arms for Nico to cuddle into and pulled him close. He breathed in the scent of pomegranate. It always made him feel calm. They laid there for a while, Nico tracing his fingers down Will's arms, Will holding him close. Moments like this happened more and more often and Will liked it. He enjoyed the feeling of Nico's warm breath against his collar bone and couldn't help but smile to himself. Nico opened his eyes and smiled up at him. Will's heart fluttered. He felt his cheeks heat up. His eyes flickered down to Nico's lips for a second. He really wanted to kiss him. Nico must have had the same thought because suddenly, he was leaning in, Will could feel his breath tickling his lips, they kissed and Will's heart leaped out of his chest. Nico's lips felt soft and warm against his own, so innocent, and his hands on Will's cheeks. They were soft and loving as they pulled Will closer and now his lips were hot and wet from their tongues. Will could feel his heart pounding and his hands shaking as wrapped his arms around Nico and pulled him in closer. He was on Will's lap now. Will hadn't realized they had moved this much, nor had he realized Percy must have come home, until he heard a knock on the door. He jumped from the sudden sound, pulling away from Nico, who looked just as surprised.

“Guys, I brought a friend! C'mon out!“ Percy called from the living room. Nico cleared his throat.

“Be right there!“ He called back. His cheeks were bright red. Will was sure his were even redder. He watched Nico climb off his lap and off the bed, then grab a random shirt off the ground. Will shook his head to clear his cloudy mind. His heart was still pounding. 

 

Percy had brought a friend over. He introduced him as his childhood friend Grover and that they hadn't seen each other in years.

“I ran into him in the grocery store earlier“, Percy laughed. He held up a plastic bag which clearly contained bottles. “We thought we should celebrate by having a drink. You two joining us?“

Before Will could answer, Nico already nodded. He turned to Will as soon as the others had disappeared into the kitchen.   
“Shit, is this okay for you? Drinking?“

Will nodded hesitantly. “The only drunk person I've ever really been around was Luke... that never turned out well.“ He snorted.  
Nico reached out as if to take his hand, but didn't. Will tried not to let his disappointment show. Still, the whole conversation wasn't nearly as awkward as he had expected it to be after what just happened.  
“But I really wanna see what good drunk can be like, you know?“ Will shrugged. This was a lie. He was scared shitless.  
Luke had ruined this for him and that made Will angry. He wanted to do this out of spite. Nico seemed to pick up on that. He gave Will a concerned look. Will just flashed him a quick smile. They were interrupted by Percy and Grover entering the living room, both carrying bottles and glasses.   
A few minutes later music was playing and they were all sitting down with a glass in their hand. Grover and Percy were sitting on and sprawled all over the couch while Nico and Will were sitting on the floor with their back against the coffee table. Their shoulders and thighs were touching. Will nervously sniffed at the brown liquid in this glass. Percy had given it to him, it was vodka and Dr. Pepper. It smelled alright. He took a sip. He could taste the alcohol. But it wasn't that bad. Still, it made him cough. He felt Nico chuckle next to him. 

“Strong stuff?“ He joked. Will laughed. After a few sips he could already feel a slight effect. He had never really drunk after all. He just sat there, watching Percy and Grover talk, sipping his... could you even call it a cocktail? Mixture? Will decided to refer to it as Mr. Pepper, any doctor who drank on the job would surely get his medical licence revoked. He chuckled to himself.   
“What is it?“ Nico asked next to him. Will told him the joke. Nico snorted. He took Will's hand and held it. Will enjoyed it. On the couch, Percy and Grover had just decided they should play a game of never have I ever. Of course Will knew the game and he happily joined in. 

“Okay, okay I'll go first“, Percy chuckled. “Never have I ever... gotten married“

“God damn it“, Grover put one finger down. “Okay I'll go next. Never have I ever broken my arm while going down a water slide“

“Fuck!“ Percy put one finger down. They played for a few rounds. Will learned Percy had once chipped his tooth during a math test (Grover's picks were oddly specific) and Nico had never seen a Disney movie. He made a mental note to watch one with him. It was his turn again and - being on his second glass - he had basically run out of ideas.

“Uuh...“, he took another sip. “Never have I ever had straight sex“   
It didn't surprise him that Nico didn't take down a finger and that Grover and Percy both did.

“Damn it, that was a good one“, Percy said. He only had two fingers left. “Okay, my turn“   
They had changed directions a while ago. “Never have I ever had gay sex before“

Sighing, Will took down a finger. To his surprise, Nico didn't. He was a virgin? He leaned over to Nico.   
“You're a virgin?“ He whispered. Luckily, Percy and Grover were loudly laughing about something and hadn't heard him. Nico nodded, his cheeks bright red.   
“That's cute“, Will mumbled. He was aware how slurred his words were, but he didn't care. Nico blushed even more. Will was suddenly very aware of how close they were. His heart was pounding again. Percy's and Grover's laughter was fading into the background. The game was long abandoned.

“Hey Will?“ Nico whispered, a small smile on his lips. “I'm gay“

Will chuckled. “Me too“, he slurred and Nico laughed. 

“We should date, then“, he mumbled, leaned in and placed a soft kiss on Will's cheek. Will blushed a deep red. His cheek was tingling. 

“We should at least make out“, he whispered, all of his inner conflicts, his worries forgotten. Before he could say anything else, Nico crashed his lips into his in a kiss that made his head spin. It was mostly tongue and teeth clacking together and it made Will's heart beat against his rips with such power he was afraid they would burst. He quickly set his glass down on the floor next to him and pulled Nico in with both hands. He felt him gasp against his lips, his soft hands against the sides of his neck, his teeth tugging at his bottom lip, the way he tasted, it was heaven to Will, absolute heaven. 

Nico pulled away far too soon, downed the rest remaining in his glass and stood up. He held a hand out for Will, who quickly drank the rest of his Mr. Pepper and got up. He ignored Percy's shouting at them to “use protection“ and let Nico pull him towards his bedroom. 

As soon as the door closed behind them, Will pushed Nico against it, smashing their lips together once again. He felt Nico's hand tangled in his hair, pulling him in, his other was pinned against the door by Will's. The kiss was messy, full of teeth and tongue and Will felt like he had never been kissed like this before, there was so much emotion, so much affection in it; it was almost suffocating, but in the best way possible. It made him feel dizzy, his fingers gripping Nico's tighter. He almost pushed his hips into Nico's instinctively, but restrained himself when he realized he was a virgin and that he didn't know how much experience he had. Will knew how it felt to be urged and he didn't want this for Nico. Nico, however, didn't seem to be bothered at all. He pushed himself off the door and walked Will to the bed, only breaking the kiss so they wouldn't trip over the things on the floor. As soon as they reached the bed, he pushed Will down, attacking his lips again, his hands on Will's cheeks. Will felt Nico's thighs on each side of his pelvis and suddenly, it made him panic. This position usually meant pain. Or tears. Or violation. He pulled away from the kiss, wide eyed, his breathing shallow all of a sudden. Nico looked at him in shock.

“What's wrong?“ He asked and Will could hear the worry in his voice.

“Get off“, he whispered, his voice cracking. Nico didn't ask further, he just climbed off Will's lap as quickly as possible. Will sat up, panting. He ran a hand through his hair, tugging at it. His ribs were aching. Memories flooded his mind, memories of Luke forcing him to... do things. It made Will shudder. He felt physically sick. 

“What's wrong?“ Nico asked next to him. Will turned to look at him. He looked worried. Will almost told him that it was nothing, that he was fine, but he knew Nico could tell if he lied and he didn't want to be dishonest with his friend. 

“Luke always kneeled over me like that“, he mumbled. He expected to be bashed for a silly insecurity like this, because that was all he was used to from Luke, but as usual, Nico was nothing but compassionate.

“I'm sorry“, he whispered. Will could see the guilt on his face. 

“It's okay, you didn't know“, he told him and took his hand. Nico's face softened a little. He smiled.

“Can I kiss you again?“ 

Hearing him ask that made Will blush. He couldn't help but notice the slur in Nico's voice and the alcohol in his own system and briefly wondered if all this would have ever happened had they been sober. Still, he nodded. Slowly, Nico leaned in, too slowly. Will grabbed his face and gently pulled him in, Nico's soft lips meeting his. The kiss was short and innocent and Will's lips were tingling when he pulled away. 

“Are you as tired as I am?“ Nico asked, a lazy smile on his lips. Will nodded.   
“Wanna go sleep?“  
Will nodded again. They brushed their teeth and got into bed in silence. Will's eyelids were heavy and with Nico's warm body snuggled against his side he quickly drifted off to sleep.

It was only the next morning that the doubt started to kick in. He had just woken up, his head pounding, Nico still asleep with his head on Will's shoulder. His mind replayed the events of last night. The thought of having kissed Nico, not just once but three times, made his heart flutter. At the same time, he felt guilty. He had a boyfriend. Who he loved. Or did he? He didn't know. He genuinely didn't know if he still loved his boyfriend of five and a half years. And that scared the shit out of him.


	15. Chapter 15

They didn't talk about it at first. After a quick breakfast Nico left for an appointment with a client. Will spent some time with Percy, who surprisingly wasn't hungover. Grover had gone home last night. Will had brought Percy a coffee and now they were just hanging out in his room. He had never really been in Percy's room so he looked around with a certain amount of interest. The walls and carpet were different shades of blue, there were clothes and other things lying around and one wall was covered in photos. Will handed Percy, who was still in bed, his mug and stepped closer to the photos. Most of them showed Percy and his family - Will recognized his mother. Some were of Percy and his friends and a few showed Percy and Nico, now and younger. Will's favourite was one that displayed them during high school: Percy in his swim team hoodie, his arm around the shoulders of a small, pale Nico. His hear was so short compared to now. Wait... Will moved closer to the picture, narrowing his eyes. Was he wearing eyeliner? He definitely was. Will snorted. 

“So... what'd you two do last night?“ Percy asked from behind him. Will turned around. Percy wiggled his eyebrows at him. Will sat next to him, his cheeks a little warm. 

“Stop it“, he mumbled and playfully punched Percy in the arm. 

“Careful, my coffee!“ Percy squeaked and laughed. He sipped his bean water and seemed to have dropped the subject. Will was relieved; he wouldn't have known what to say. He was fairly comfortable with Percy, who had become one of his closet friends, and he was sure Nico would have been okay with him talking to Percy about it. Still, he wasn't sure what to think about it all, so he definitely wasn't ready to talk about it yet. Percy wasn't the sensible type, but he seemed to have picked up on this. Good. Will let out a faint sigh of relief. 

“So, when's Annabeth moving in?“ He asked, partly because he wanted to change the subject, partly because he was genuinely interested. He liked Percy's girlfriend and always enjoyed her skype calls. 

“About a month. Her project is pretty much done and she's just organizing some family stuff right now. Like inheritance or something“, Percy shrugged. “All I know is that I need to make room for her furniture“

Will nodded. He played with the ring on his finger. Luke's ring. His heart hurt. He was so conflicted and now, it was getting to him. Tears were burning in his eyes. Quietly and without looking at Percy, he excused himself and quickly made his way to Nico's room. By the time he had reached the desk chair and sat down, tears were streaming down his face. He just couldn't keep it together anymore. He didn't know what to do. Should he stay with his god damn boyfriend of almost six fucking years or leave him to be with Nico? Did he even like Nico like that?   
Of course, a voice in his head said, you made out with him, you even showed him your scar!   
But I love Luke, Will thought.   
Do you? His conscience asked. You kissed someone else last night. And you liked it.  
Will felt guilt wash over him. What had he done? Had he ruined his relationship? Oh god, he had. He had messed up and his relationship was over and it was all his fault. It was all his fault. He had ruined it. All his fault. All his fault. The words echoed in Will's head over and over as he slowly felt himself spiral into a panic attack. 

He had no idea how long it lasted. He only knew that when it stopped, he was laying on his back between all the stuff on Nico's floor, his chest aching and his eyes swollen from crying. He stared at the ceiling, feeling exhausted. Empty. He still didn't know what to do, who to choose, but now he was too tired to think about it.   
Groaning, he got up from the floor. His shirt was damp with cold sweat. Ew. In slow motion, Will pulled the shirt over his head and threw it on the floor, then grabbed a random sweatshirt off the back of the desk chair and put it on. Like a robot, he made his way to the kitchen. The apartment was completely silent except for the traffic outside. There was a note on the fridge: 

“Going to get groceries after work, might be home late, love you both - Percy“

Will lightly smiled to himself. He liked how casually affectionate Percy was and how close they had grown since Will met him in that hospital. He now considered him one of his best friends, along with Nico. Nico. Damn it, there it was again, that weird feeling. Was Nico really just a best friend? Or did Will want more? He didn't know, he just didn't know. He didn't even know if Nico liked him like that. Sure, he had kissed him but did that mean anything? Luke always said that most guys would just use a good guy like Will. Use him and throw him away. Was that what was going on? Was Nico just using him and Will was letting him, and even cheating on his boyfriend by doing so? A tear ran down his cheek and he knew he had to stop overthinking it all or he'd find himself having yet another panic attack. With shaky fingers he opened the fridge and grabbed a juice box. He felt too sick to eat, so this would have to be enough. 

When Nico came home around dinner time, Will still hadn't calmed down. When he heard the front door open, he jumped and almost fell off the couch, which would have been a disaster because he was wrapped up in a blanket so tightly he couldn't move his arms. 

“Hey, sunshine“, Nico greeted him, closed the door behind him and kicked his boots into a corner. Will didn't answer. The nickname made him blush and he definitely liked hearing it, but he he felt like he wasn't allowed to. He had a god damn boyfriend for fucks sake. He watched Nico set his bag down and shyly hit his face in his blanket as Nico walked over. When he bent down and looked Will in the eye, obviously concerned, Will couldn't bare to look at him for longer than two seconds.   
“Hey“, Nico mumbled and laid a hand on Will's cheek, but immediately retracted it when Will flinched at his touch.   
“Are you okay?“

“No!“ Will wanted to scream. “What are we? Is there even a 'we'?“ At the same time, he also wanted to grab Nico by the face and kiss him. He stayed quiet and simply nodded. Nico frowned.

“I don't believe you, Will“

“Then don't!“ Will snapped. He hadn't meant to and immediately regretted it. The pressure of the situation had simply been too much. The hurt in Nico's eyes made him want to slap himself for shouting. With tears in his eyes, he scrambled off the couch, almost tripping over the blanket a few times as he unwrapped it from his body on his way to the bathroom. He shut the door behind him, completely ignoring Nico shouting his name. Will locked both doors, the one to the living room and the one to Nico's bedroom, with shaky fingers, then slid down the tiled wall, hugged his knees close to his chest and burst into tears. 

“Will, sunshine, please!“ Nico called from the living room. Will heard him bang on the bathroom door. “Please don't hurt yourself“

“I wasn't...“ Will mumbled, but when he looked down he realized otherwise. There were scratch marks all over his wrist, not deep, but many. He hadn't even realized he had been doing it. 

“Will!“ Nico shouted from outside the door. Will could hear him picking the lock, then he burst in. He dropped to his knees in front of Will and when Will looked up, he saw tears streaming down Nico's face.   
“Will, please“, he whispered and reached out as if to touch his cheek, but didn't dare to touch him. “Will, what's wrong?“  
Will reached up and carefully laid his hand in Nico's. 

“I'm fine“, he whispered, but his sobs said otherwise. 

“You scratched yourself again“, Nico mumbled and lightly ran his thumb over the red markings. Will recognized the look on his face: it was the exact expression Will must have worn whenever he saw cuts on Luke's wrists that he knew his boyfriend had inflicted on himself.

“Again?“ Will frowned a little. He didn't remember ever having done this before.    
He felt incredibly guilty, he knew how horrible it was to witness self harm on a loved one.

“You've been doing that almost every night“, Nico mumbled. He gently pressed his lips to the scratches. “I hold your hands when you sleep, so you can't hurt yourself“  
Will bursted into tears again. He hadn't realized he had gotten this bad. And he also hadn't realized how much it meant to him that Nico cared. 

“No, no no no, don't cry, please“, Nico whispered.

“Sorry“, Will mumbled. 

“What's wrong?“

Will sniffled. “I don't really wanna talk about it, Neeks“

Nico's face was blank, but it softened after a few seconds. “Okay. But if you ever need to talk, I'm here. I - I'm your friend“  
It was obvious that he hadn't meant to say “I'm your friend“, but Will couldn't think of anything else he might would have wanted to say. 

“Thank you“, he mumbled. Nico lifted Will's hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to his knuckles. 

“Of course, sunshine“

Will couldn't help but notice, how much more comfortable Nico had grown around him since the beginning of their friendship, how much healthier he was, both mentally and physically. 

Nico stood up, his joints cracking. He held out a hand. Will grabbed it and pulled himself off the floor. 

Nico made him a cup of tea and even stole some cookies from Percy's secret cookie jar. 

“Percy's gonna kill you“, Will commented when Nico brought it to his bedside on a tray. Nico just shrugged and handed Will his mug before sitting next to him on the bed. 

“How're you holding up?“

Will shrugged. “I'm okay. Had worse days“

“Hmm“

“You don't sound convinced“

“I'm just worried. You're important to me“

Will turned away when he felt a blush creep onto his cheeks. He wasn't supposed to feel like this! But he liked it so much...


	16. Chapter 16

The next day, Will finally mastered up the courage. He knocked on Percy's door. It was his day off and Will wasn't even sure wether Percy was awake yet. Lucky for Will, he was.

“Come in“, he called out. Will took a deep breath and opened the door. 

“Can I talk to you for a sec, Perce?“

Percy pushed himself away from his desk and turned towards Will. “Sure, what's up?“

“I, uh“, Will closed the door behind him and leaned against it. “Nico and I kissed“, he said bluntly. Percy raised his eyebrows at him.

“I know, I was there. You were shitfaced“

“No, even before that“, Will fiddled with his fingers. “And I really liked it, but...“

Nervously, Will explained his dilemma to Percy. That he didn't know who to choose, that he was afraid Nico didn't like him like that, how guilty he felt. Percy listened with a thoughtful expression, Will had rarely ever seen him so serious. When he was done, Percy stayed silent for a few more seconds. He stood up from his desk chair, stepped towards Will and laid a hand on his shoulder.

“Look, Will. I can't speak on Nico's behalf and you definitely should talk to him about this, but I can tell you one thing: he really likes you. Like REALLY likes you. And about your boyfriend...“, Percy sighed. “I don't get a lot of stuff, but even I noticed he's not good for you. He hurt you. I can't tell you what to do, but as your friend, I want you to be safe. And happy.“

Will frowned. “Perce, are you crying?“

Percy sniffled. “No...“   
Will couldn't help it, he smiled. Percy wiped tear off his cheek. “Talk to Nico, Will. It'll be okay, I promise.“

 

Nico was home early that day and Will wasn't sure wether he liked that, because it meant more time to talk. As soon as they heard a key in the lock Percy shot Will a glance. Will immediately bolted to the safe space of Nico's bedroom. 

“He's in your room“, he heard Percy say in the living room. Damn you, Percy. A few seconds later, the door opened and Nico entered the room. Will tried to look as relaxed as possible in his seat at the desk, but he was sure Nico could tell he was nervous. 

“Hey, sunshine“, Nico greeted him and walked through the bedroom to the bathroom door. Will could hear the faucet running and knew that he was washing ink off his hands.

“I need to talk to you, Neeks“, he called out to him. The water stopped. Nico came out of the bathroom, wiping his hands on his jeans.

“Sure. Is something wrong?“ Nico looked concerned. He stepped closer to Will.

“I need to tell you something“, Will did his best to look at Nico while he spoke. This was harder than he had expected. He stared at his lap. “I- uh... I think I like you. Like, like like you“

Nico didn't answer at first, so Will looked up. He was terrified. Nico's face was bright red, his mouth covered by his hands.

“Say something“, Will whispered. He couldn't bear with the silence. Nico stepped even closer, his arms dropping to his sides, wide smile on his face.

“I- I like you too, Will. I've liked you for so long...“ He whispered, a tear running down his cheek. 

Will couldn't help the wide grin on his face. He got up from the chair and stumbled towards Nico, opening his arms and pulling the shorter boy into a tight embrace. Nico hugged him back immediately, careful not to press himself against Will's chest any further. They hugged silently for a few minutes, all flushed cheeks and happy smiles until Will eventually pulls away. He guided Nico to the desk chair and sat him down. 

“I'm not done yet“, he mumbled and took a step back. Nico looked at him in slight confusion, but said nothing. Will took a deep breath and spoke:  
“But I still have a boyfriend. And I don't know what to do, not yet. I don't feel ready to leave him, if that is what you would want for... us“

Nico bit his lips. “I would love to be your boyfriend“, he mumbled. 

Will nodded slowly. “I get that and I would love that, trust me, I really do... and it really is nothing personal, it's not your fault, but I need time to make up my mind and sort things out. Would that be okay?“

He nervously looked at Nico, who was staring at the ground. A tear fell from his cheek and landed in his lap. He sniffled. Finally, he looked up, a weak smile on his lips and tears running down his face. “Yeah. Take your time“

“Nico, I'm sorry-“

“No, I get it, it's a tough situation. It's okay“, he stood up from the chair and walked past Will to the bathroom, his gaze fixated on the ground. “I'm just gonna take a quick shower“

“Neeks...“ 

Nico ignored him and as the bathroom door closed behind him, tears began streaming down Will's face. He felt like shit. He had ruined it all. In a mixture of anger and sadness, Will marched to the front door, quickly slipped on his boots and jacket, ignoring Percy's questions, and left the apartment.

He just began walking with no destination in mind, so naturally, one can imagine his surprise when he suddenly found himself in front of Luke's apartment. He blinked in confusion before he realized what had led him here; he needed to get something. Luke's car was gone, so, with skaking knees, he walked up the two flights of stairs and unlocked the door. Luckily, the key was still on his key chain because Luke refused to hide a spare key. As soon as he entered, the cold smoke slapped him in the face like a wet towel. Immediately, he felt sick. Breathing shallow and through his mouth, he made his way to the bedroom and opened the closet. There it was, in the very back. His ukulele. His cold fingers curled around the smooth wood. He had missed the way it felt. His siblings had given it to him on his fourteenth birthday. Will hastily grabbed a tote bag to put it in. He wanted to get out of here as quickly as possible, but he was curious as to how Luke was holding up. There were empty bottles everywhere, barely any food in the fridge. Not good. Will immediately regretted snooping around when he discovered a small of pile of bloody ace bandages. DEFINITELY not good. The sink and shower were blood stained. Will was almost certain Luke had had another attempt. The guilt practically punched him in the gut. At the same time, he heard Percy's voice inside his head: “He's not good for you“  
Maybe he really wasn't, maybe he was too unstable. Will just flashed wanted to get out of here. Without taking another look at the mess in the bathroom, he turned around and ran. Out of the apartment, down the street and all the way home.

Percy was waiting for him in the living room. He looked worried. For a moment it reminded Will of a parent waiting for their teenage son after he had missed the curfew.

“Where were you? I was worried sick!“ 

Will could definitely see Percy being a dad. He held up the tote bag. 

“I needed to get something from... Luke's place“  
He had meant to say “home“ but that didn't seem to apply any longer.   
“Don't worry, he wasn't home“

Percy nodded slowly. He still looked worried. “What'd you get?“

Will held up the bag. “My ukulele. How's Nico?“

“Napping. He threw up. Meds and stress don't mix well. What did you say to him? He cried!“

“Just the truth“, Will replied, nervously chewing on his lip. “Are you mad at me?“

“No, Will, no, don't worry. I just don't like seeing my friends suffer, you know?“

Will nodded. He pulled his ukulele out of the bag. “If you need me, I'll be on the balcony“  
Percy just nodded. 

Will sat down on the ground, the balcony rail digging into his back. It took him a moment to get back into the dynamics of playing, he hadn't done it in a long time. Luke hated the ukulele and he had forbidden that Will played it. That's how it had ended up in the very back of the closet. He began plucking a few strings, just playing whatever came to mind. It helped him relax, empty his mind, forget all his worries. He didn't even notice the balcony door open next to him, or Nico stepping out to him, until he spoke:

“I didn't know you played“

Will jumped and almost dropped his ukulele.   
“Been playing since I was thirteen“  
Nico nodded and sat down next to Will. 

“How come I've never heard it before?“

“Luke hates it. I wasn't allowed to play“

“That's really unhealthy. I'd go as far as calling that emtional abuse“

Will didn't answer. He wanted to give his usual response of “It's not that bad, it's okay, really!“, but he knew it was no use. He plucked a few more strings, then started playing a song. Nico closed his eyes, held his face into the last rays of sunshine, a smile on his lips. The sun got caught in his dark locks, revealing bits and pieces of gold and brown. Will noticed a few freckles on Nico's olive skin, around his nose and on his lips. He didn't know lips could have freckles, but Nico's did and Will was so distracted by them that he messed up a few chords. Nico didn't seem to notice, he just kept his eyes closed and smiled into the sun. Will watched him, his heart beating in his ears. He thought about how Nico was here, peacefully sitting on the balcony with him after Will had essentially rejected him. Luke, on the other hand, had become a mess, drinking and hurting himself. Just a few weeks ago, Will would have taken that as a sign of love, and he still kinda did, but he also knew he didn't want to be around all this any longer, Nico was right, it wasn't healthy. Still, he didn't want to decide yet, didn't want to make rapid or impulsive decision that could hurt Nico even further.


	17. Chapter 17

It took Will a total of two and a half days to make up his mind. This was an unusually short amount of time for Will, but the realization that Luke wasn't healthy for him had really helped his decision. He was sure he wanted to be with Nico, but he also knew he wasn't ready to face Luke and break up with him. They couldn't be boyfriends yet, Will simply wasn't ready for another committed relationship. Not yet. All this, he told Nico. And Nico understood.   
He tackled Will with a hug so energetic it made Will stumble backwards. He laughed and wrapped his arms around him, pulling him in and burying his face in his hair. He could feel Nico's breath on the crook of his neck, it tickled, but he liked it. He pulled Nico in even closer, completely closing this gap between their bodies and, a little surprised, noticed that Nico's chest touching his did not bother him at all, he actually liked it. Nico's stubble brushed against the side of his neck as he turned his head and pressed a kiss to Will's cheek. Will turned towards him and their lips brushed before he leaned in and pressed them together in a short, sweet kiss. He could feel Nico's quickened heartbeat against his chest and his own was probably just as prominent. Will seriously could not remember the last time he had felt this content, this happy. This safe.

The good feeling stayed with him for a spectacularly long time. Will had forgotten how happy he could be and even though the prospect of having to talk to and break up with Luke accompanied each and every one of his thoughts, it couldn't seem to get him down. This was unusual for him, but hey, Will definitely wasn't complaining. Nico wasn't either. Will had never seen him this happy, this excited. He was smiling a lot more, he was eating. It seemed like a weight had been lifted off both their shoulders. 

Will hadn't known how affectionate Nico could be until he officially gave him permission to be. Nico would kiss him on the cheek in the morning to wake him up, he hugged him from behind while Will made breakfast and he held his hand whenever he could. Will enjoyed it. A lot, actually. After having talked it out yesterday, his anxiety had been pleasantly low. This was a good thing. He smiled to himself as he thought about it. He was sitting on the couch, his laptop on his lap. It was in the early evening and both Percy and Nico were still at work. Nico should be home soon though. Will hadn't even finished that thought when he heard the door open.

“Hey sunshine“, Nico called. The door closed again. Will heard footsteps coming closer until he felt an arm wrap around his shoulders from behind. Nico's stubble brushed against his cheek. Will smiled and turned a little to peck Nico's lips.   
“What'cha looking at?“ Nico mumbled and leaned his head against Will's.

“'Tips and exercises for easing the pain of broken ribs'“, Will read out the title of the article. He felt Nico clench his jaw as if he were grinding his teeth and reached up to lay a hand on his wrist. Nico relaxed. Will knew how angry Nico was about Luke and the... fighting. Will didn't want to call it 'abuse' like Nico did. Too harsh of a word. Luke and Will had been unhealthy, yes, but not abusive. 

“How bad are they?“ Nico mumbled. Right, the ribs. 

“They hurt. I can manage“, Will replied. 'Hurt' was definitely a euphemism. He could barely sleep comfortably and running practically killed him. Breathing in general was not fun. At all. Luckily, he was on pain killers pretty much constantly. He set the laptop aside and turned towards Nico a little more. He could tell from his expression that Nico knew how much pain Will actually was in. He didn't say anything about it, though. Instead, he asked:

“Have you talked to your brother about it again?“

Will shook his head no. “I'm gonna call him in a few days to see if I can come in for a checkup“

Nico nodded slowly. “Okay. I can come with you if you want“

“We'll see“, Will mumbled, smiling. He wasn't used to someone being this caring. Nico kissed his cheek, then went around the couch and sat next to him. Will was staring into his laptop again. Humming a little song, Nico reached for Will's hand and laid his head on his shoulder. Will felt his body relax against him and knew Nico had closed his eyes. He smiled to himself, ran his thumb across Nico's hand and listened to him hum.

They must have fallen asleep like this, because Will woke up when he heard the front door close. Nico jerked against his shoulder. 

“I'm home!“ Percy called. Will turned his head, blinking. Nico relaxed against his side again, his breathing slow and even. His arm was draped over Will's chest, but Will only noticed when he turned to greet Percy. It didn't really bother him. Still, he brushed it off. Old habits die hard. 

They made dinner together. Or, more specifically, Will did most of the cooking, Percy ranted about his co-worker for twenty minutes and Nico sat on the counter, trying not to fall asleep again. After dinner, Percy called his girlfriend. 

Nico and Will sat on the balcony, Will playing the ukulele and Nico sketching. Their legs were touching. Will liked that. His phone buzzed. Another “I'm sorry please come home I love you“ text from Luke. Nico noticed Will frowning and raised his eyebrows. 

“Luke?“ He asked. Will nodded. Nico's face turned sour. He reached for Will's phone and Will handed it to him. Nico turned it off. He didn't say anything but Will knew Nico wondered when he was finally going to break up with Luke. Truth was, Will didn't know. He needed time to figure it out. He was glad Nico wasn't really putting any pressure on him. He didn't like being forced to do anything, even if he liked the thing.   
Nico slammed his sketch book shut, making Will jump.   
“Sorry“, he grinned. He laid a hand on Will's thigh. “Can I?“

Will nodded and shifted a little so Nico could lie down with his head on Will's thigh. He plucked a few strings and Nico closed his eyes. 

“Percy mentioned your dad earlier“, Will said and started strumming a small happy tune. “What's he like?“

“Rich as fuck“, Nico replied without opening his eyes. The sunlight made dark brown streaks appear in Nico's hair. “He'd pay for everything I ask for, if I asked. I don't“

“Why not?“ Will mumbled. He was a little distracted, because the evening sun gave Nico's lips a red tint and now he really wanted to kiss him. 

“He wasn't really around after Bianca died. I think he blames himself. But still, a kid needs a parent! Like, I grew up without a mom, I could have needed a dad“ Nico opened his eyes and looked up at Will. He had this blank face again that Will just couldn't read.

“I'm sorry“

“It's okay. I'm just angry my dad wasn't there“, Nico closed his eyes again.

Will nodded slowly. “I understand“

There was a moment of silence. Will didn't even realize he had stopped playing. 

“And your parents? What are they like?“ Nico mumbled. 

“They were high school sweethearts“, Will responded and started playing a slow melody. “My dad was always working and my mom stayed at home to take care of us. They were great, but I don't really talk to them now. I haven't even visited them in over two years even though they live like half an hour away...“

“Why?“ Nico mumbled. He shifted a little and his shirt slipped up to reveal an inch of pale skin above the waistline of his pants. Will was almost embarrassed that he even noticed. 

“I don't know... Luke-“, Will felt Nico tense up, “Luke always claimed they hated him and that they weren't good for me because of that. One time he even called them homophobic. But that doesn't make sense because my dad is bi“  
He could hear Nico grinding his teeth even over the music. “It's okay“, he said reflexively.

“It's not!“ Nico snapped and sat up. When Will noticeably flinched and almost dropped his ukulele, his face softened and he carefully laid a hand on Will's wrist. 

 

“Sorry, I'm sorry. I just- it makes me so mad how much he fucked up your life“ 

“He didn't-“

“Yes, he did. He fucked up your family, your self confidence, your ribs!“   
A tear rolled down his cheek. Will set his ukulele aside and took Nico's hands in his.  
“I just wish I could make you okay again...“ Nico sniffed.

“I'm okay with you“, Will whispered. Nico shook his head. His eyes were squeezed shut, with tears streaming down his face.   
“Yes, I am. Hey, hey look at me“, Will laid a hand on his cheek. Nico reluctantly opened his eyes and choked back a sob.   
“I feel good around you, I really do“, Will mumbled. He pulled Nico in a little closer and kissed his forehead. Nico let out a small giggle, then sniffed. 

“Okay...“, he mumbled. Will pulled him in until he was sitting on his lap with his head on Will's shoulder. Will didn't even notice he was touching his chest. 

 

The next day, Nico's and Percy's friend Jason was scheduled to arrive. Percy had woken up extra early to pick Jason up. Nico and Will had just started making breakfast when Percy entered the apartment, carrying a wheelchair. He was accompanied by a tall, blonde man with glasses and a broad smile, who was leaning onto a crutch, a small suitcase in his other hand. 

“Jason!“ Nico squeaked and jumped off the coffee table to tackle Jason with a hug. Jason dropped his bag and stumbled a little. 

“Careful!“ He laughed and hugged Nico back. 

Will stood aside, his hands in his pockets. He was a little surprised when Jason approached him. 

“Hey, you're Will, right?“ He smiled down at Will, who nodded. Jason gave him a careful hug.   
“Nico's told me a lot about you“

Will smiled and shot Nico a glance. Nico was bright pink. 

They all sat down for breakfast together and they even used the actual dinner table. Will had almost forgotten they had one. 

“So I know I gotta chase after this little shit, but I only have one damn leg, so what do I do? I threw a damn globe at him. His mom came to school and exploded in my face“  
Jason was telling one of his “teacher stories“, as Percy called them. 

“Did you get in trouble?“ Will asked. He was holding Nico's hand under the table, causing Nico to have to eat with his left hand. It was a funny sight.

Jason shook his head. “Nah. My boss is great and the kid was known for being an ableist and racist little bitch. He got suspended.“

“Nice“, Percy commented. He turned to Will. “Do you know how Jason lost his leg?“   
Before Will could answer, that, yes, he did know, Percy leaned in and stage whispered:  
“He got a little carried away doing BDSM stuff with his girlfriend“

Jason laughed and hit Percy in the arm. Nico fake gasped.  
“I thought he sold it on the black market to buy the superman suit! The one they used in the movie“

Jason laughed even more. The others joined in. Will was glad he had become comfortable around Jason so soon. It helped keeping his anxiety down. 

“So what business brought you to New York?“ Percy asked after they all calmed down a little. 

“I applied for a job at a private school for girls“, Jason replied. “Piper really wants to move here since she found out Annabeth is moving in with you and she wants Riley to grow up around our friends“

“Riley is his two year old daughter“, Nico explained to Will, who nodded.

“So I'm here for the school, to see you guys and for my tattoo!“ Jason exclaimed. 

“Yeah, our appointment is at two“, Nico said. “So you still have some time to like relax, take a nap, all that“

Will noticed himself spacing out. His ribs had been particularly annoying this morning and now, the pain killers were definitely kicking in. He zoned out; the only relatively clear feeling that remained was Nico's hand in his.

He spent all day in this weird dream-like state, playing his ukulele, reading and doing breathing exercises. As he was sitting in Nico's room, his feet up on the desk and a book in his lap, he spotted Nico's sketchbook on a stack of drawings. He must have forgotten to take it to work with him. Hesitantly, Will reached for it. He probably shouldn't... this was Nico's private stuff after all. But Nico never tried to hide it, he even showed Will some of his sketches he'd made in there. Also, Will was one nosy boy. So, he leaned forward and grabbed the notebook. He held it in his hands like it was made of glass, carefully feeling the rough leather it was bound in. Will knew what the book meant to Nico and holding it in his hands was almost breathtaking. He was sure this was partly because he was on heavy medication, but also genuine amazement. There was a bookmark stuck between the pages at about three thirds, but Will opened the sketchbook at the very beginning. The paper was weirdly thin, like that of a bible. Will would have surely torn it if he had tried to draw in this. He was surprised that every page had the date written in the top corner. Nico usually wasn't very organized or neat. The first page dated back to when Nico must have been about fourteen or maybe even fifteen, Will realized. It was drawings of ravens and feathers, which looked like sketches of Percy's feather tattoo. A few pages in, Will stumbled upon drawings and drawings of Percy, some quick sketches, some more detailed. 

This must have been when he had a crush on Percy, Will thought to himself. Adorable!

He flipped through a few more weeks worth of drawings; some were of Percy, some of a few other people Will didn't recognize, but they were all really beautiful. There were flowers and elaborate tribal patterns until Will turned the page and the drawings suddenly became really dark. According to the date, Nico was fifteen. Will had a bad premonition. Was this when...? Will turned another page and found his answer: yes. A bunch of drawings of a girl, or young woman, with dark hair and freckles. Bianca. Oh god. The lines were so much messier than those of the previous art. The words GHOST KING were scribbled everywhere. Will traced his finger over a wavy spot on the paper. Nico must have been crying. Will could almost feel the sadness dwelling in the pages.   
There were a whole lot more drawings of Bianca over the course of a few weeks until they slowly subsided. Drawings of ravens, angels and Percy began to take their place.   
When Will reached the part where Nico must have been about sixteen, turning seventeen, the angels and fairies he'd been drawing looked dangerously thin. Will knew Nico had dealt with an eating disorder (which Nico claimed hadn't been too serious and that he never even had to get treatment, he had gotten better on his own). But seeing Nico's mind at the time visualized like this made him feel physically sick. He hated the thought of Nico being unhappy or ill even.   
Will flipped through the pages a little quicker - he wanted to avoid the skinny bodies sprinkled between the other art. They lasted for years; even after Will and Nico had met there were still a few malnourished angels here and there. Will felt bad knowing Nico had still been struggling so recently. Will kept flipping. Another drawing of Percy, a sketch for a tattoo Will had seen full scale on a photo Nico had shown him and then- his own face. A sketch of Will, in his paramedics jacket, his hair messy, smiling. Will stared at it, fascinated. It dated back to about five months ago. He had only known Nico for about six weeks. And he had drawn him. Will's cheek were burning and he covered his huge smile with his hand. Nico had drawn him. How adorable! And there were more! Some pages were full of him and him only. Will almost squealed. This would have been creepy, if it wasn't Nico. Will had already suspected Nico to secretly be a hopeless romantic and now he definitively knew. The newest drawing, where the bookmark was, showed, once again, Will. Will, sitting on the ground on the balcony, playing his ukulele and letting the evening sun shine on his face, his eyes closed. Will choked back a happy sob. This was last evening!   
Nico had drawn him while they had been sitting there. This right here was the cutest thing Will had ever seen. He couldn't help it and a few happy tears slipped down his cheeks. He blamed the pain killers. Sniffling, he stared at the drawing. The shading was incredible, and as Will was looking closer, he noticed that Nico had actually written something under the drawing and then erased it again. Will wiped his eyes and squinted, so he could read it.

“Mr. William di Angelo“


	18. Chapter 18

Will stared at the ring on his finger. He was nervously chewing on his lip. In the bathroom, the shower was running. Nico and Jason had just come home. Jason and Percy were laughing loudly in the living room. And Will was staring at his ring. He was doing that so he wouldn't have to stare at his phone. Five minutes ago, he had been crying happy tears over the drawing he had found, but now... Luke had texted him again. It had caught Will off guard and now he was sad. Will didn't even know why he was still wearing the ring. It literally represented his relationship with Luke and he was planning to break up with him! But, Will was a sentimental person and he had been with Luke for more than five years. It had meant a lot to him. He refused to admit it, but it still did. His phone buzzed again. 

'Will im worried pls text me back or ill report you as missing' 

Will let out a heavy sigh and pushed his phone away. It skidded across the desk until it hit a book. A tear ran down his cheek and he angrily wiped it away. It annoyed him that he was getting emotional over this. And what annoyed him even more, was that Luke was calling his phone now. He wanted to throw it against the wall, but the thought of Luke reporting him as missing wasn't pleasant. It would just result in drama. So, he picked up the phone.

“Will!“ He heard Luke cry. He didn't sound angry at all, in fact, he sounded really worried.  
“Oh my god, baby, are you okay?“

“Yes“, Will tried his best to stay calm. He wanted to scream at Luke for calling him baby, but he didn't want the others to hear, especially not Nico.

“Where are you?“, Luke asked, “Please, come home, please“

“I'm staying with a friend“, Will responded, his voice hushed. Luckily, the shower was still running. Good. Nico would freak if he knew Will talked to Luke. He always got really worried. 

“Will, please come home, I- I love you“, Luke was definitely crying. “Please, I'm so sorry, I love you“

Will was tempted to say “I love you“ back and that disgusted him. “Do you know what you did? You broke four ribs and cracked two, Luke!“

Luke loudly broke down in tears. Will could see him before his inner eye, sliding down the wall in tears and it made him feel a little bad. No, Will, he told himself. He brought this onto himself, don't feel bad.

“I'm so sorry, Will, I'm sorry and I love you“, Luke sobbed. Will didn't answer. He was scared he might give in and tell Luke he loved him. 

“Are we over?“ Luke asked, his voice so shaky Will could barely understand him. 

Yes! He wanted to scream, yes! We're over and I hate you! But he couldn't. Because it wasn't true, he didn't hate Luke and because he just wasn't ready to end it. They had been together for so long and he used to be so in love with Luke... and he didn't want to do this over the phone. Luke didn't deserve that. 

“I- I need time, Luke“, he whispered. “You really hurt me“

“I know“, Luke sounded like a broken man. “I'm so sorry. Please take care of yourself. I love you“

“I- bye, Luke“, Will hung up the phone. He ad caught himself just in time.

He felt weird. Talking to Luke had been exhausting. Still a little angry, he twisted the ring off and set it on the desk. The air felt cold against the now exposed skin on his finger. Just in this moment, the shower stopped running in the bathroom. Nico was finally done with his long-ass shower. Will leaned against the desk, gripping the edge of the wood and staring at the bathroom door. When it opened, he pushed himself off the desk and stepped forward to meet Nico in the door frame. 

Nico was only wearing boxers and drying his hair with a towel, which he dropped in surprise when Will grabbed him by the waist.   
He wanted to just kiss Nico, but he knew what it felt like to be forced into things, so he just pulled him in a little.

“Can I?“, he whispered, his chest only inches from Nico's. Nico nodded, his eyes sparkling. Will closed the gap between them, smashing his lips into Nico's. Nico grabbed Will's face and pulled him in even closer. Will's breathing hitched. He wrapped his arm around Nico, pushing him against the door frame. Nico let out a small moan and Will's stomach erupted in butterflies. He needed this. He needed Nico, to make him forget what Luke made him feel like and he wanted Nico, just Nico...  
Nico tried to deepen the kiss, making Will smile, until he lightly bit his lip, making Will gasp a little. Nico slipped his tongue into Will's mouth, his fingers burning hot against Will's cheeks. Will pinned Nico against the wall, pushing his leg between his thighs, making the younger boy moan and practically melt into Will's touch. The sound was music to Will's ears. He pushed himself against Nico, his small moans meeting Will's own. It was all just tongue and teeth and hot skin as they grinded into each other. Will had been in control until Nico pushed himself off the wall, grabbed Will by the hand and pulled him towards the bed. When the back of his legs hit the bed, he stopped and laid a hand on Will's cheek. 

“May I?“, he whispered, his deep voice even raspier than usual, making Will shiver. His eyes were even darker than usual and his cheeks were tinted pink. His lips were shiny and he was out of breath.

“Please“, Will whispered, his heart pounding against his ribcage. Immediately, Nico wrapped his arms around Will's neck and pulled him down with him. He let out a huff of air when his back hit the mattress and chuckled. Will let out a small giggle and softly kissed Nico. He briefly wondered how far this would go, he definitively wasn't ready for anything too... naked. Nico seemed to pick up on it. 

“Hey, don't worry“, he whispered and kissed Will's cheek. “We can just kiss. No pressure“

Will grinned and pushed himself up on his forearms, pushing himself into Nico's hips a little. He could feel how turned on Nico was and he wasn't any better himself.  
“What if I wanna do a little more than just kissing?“ He whispered and lightly kissed Nico's neck.

Nico wrapped his legs around Will's hips, grinding up against his.   
“Like what?“ he purred into Will's ear. 

“I could“, he whispered and kissed Nico's neck, “Touch you“   
He hoped Nico wouldn't notice how nervous he was. 

Nico's breathing hitched. “Touch me where?“ He breathed. He pushed his hips into Will's a little harder. 

“I could show you“, Will mumbled. He wasn't used to talking, or being asked for consent. This was all so new and exciting, it made him feel like his heart was about to leap out of his throat. 

Nico nodded eagerly, his cheeks bright red. He seemed nervous. Will suddenly remembered Nico was a virgin. Shit, why didn't he remember this sooner? He should have considered that before jumping on him like that!

“Will?“ Nico whispered. “Is something wrong?“

“You're a virgin“, Will mumbled, more to himself. 

“Yeah...“ Nico frowned a little. “Is that a problem?“

Will quickly shook his head “No, no don't worry, I just- I don't want to ruin anything for you. I don't wanna mess you up“

Nico pulled him closer until their foreheads touched. “Hey, don't worry, I'll be okay. We'll take this slow, okay?“  
Will nodded. Nico grinned and kissed him.   
“Now, where did you want to touch me?“

Will blushed. Nico chuckled and pulled him in for a sloppy kiss. His legs tightened around Will's hips, rubbing their groins together. Will let out a small moan. 

“C'mon, show me“, Nico whispered and licked Will's neck. His legs relaxed around Will a little, allowing Will to move. 

Will, suddenly much braver than he was before, pushed himself up until he kneeled over Nico with his legs around his waist. Nico smiled up at him, his cheeks bright pink and his lips shiny. He looked absolutely stunning. Will leaned down to kiss him as his hand slowly trailed down his torso until he hooked his fingers into the waistline of his boxers. He left them there at first, not wanting to rush things or force Nico into anything. 

But Nico pushed his hips up and when Will still didn't do anything, he unwrapped one arm from Will's neck, reached down and pushed Will's hand into his boxers. As soon as the hand brushed against his tip, Nico moaned against Will's lips. Will slowly started stroking him, kissing him slowly at the same time and Nico melted into his hand and against his lips. 

“Is this okay?“ Will whispered.

“Uh huh“, Nico breathed. His eyes were closed.   
When Will crushed his thumb over his tip, Nico's head fell back in a silent moan, his cheeks flushed. It was the hottest thing Will had ever experienced, seeing Nico like this. He could watch him forever, becoming undone like this. Will's own hard-on was painfully tight against his boxers and sweatpants, but he only cared about Nico right now. Nico unwrapped his arm from around Will's neck, allowing Will to sit up and reached for his free hand, holding it.   
Oh my god, this was the cutest - and hottest - thing ever, Will thought to himself.   
Nico opened his eyes and looked up at Will. His eyes were the darkest Will had ever seen them. He looked so pretty like this!   
Nico's free hand hooked into the waistband of Will's pants.

“Can I?“   
His voice was raspy and he was breathing heavily, his hips jerking every time Will stroked his shaft.

Will nodded and Nico slipped a shaky hand into his boxers. His hand brushed against Will's tip and Will moaned loudly. Nico's soft hands slowly gripped him and started stroking slowly. He was obviously nervous, but Will was a mess already. He was moaning and panting. His right hand was gripping Nico's and luckily he was ambidextrous enough to jerk him off with his left one. Nico had his eyes closed again, his dick slick with precum, just like Will's own. 

“Kiss me“, he breathed in between moans. “Kiss me, sunshine, please“

Will let go of his hand to prop himself up and smashed his lips into Nico's. Nico kissed back hungrily, his now free hand clumsily pulling down Will's pants and then his own. They were both fully exposed now. Nico wrapped his legs around Will's hips again, pulling him in until their hands kept brushing by each other. Precum dripped onto Nico's stomach. Will could feel he was getting close and by the way Nico moaned and jerked against his hand he could tell he was, too. He pulled away from the kiss for a second.

“Let me“, he whispered and reached down to take both their dicks into his hand. Nico jerked his hips and bit back a moan. His hand joined Will's, their fingers intertwined and he moved with him. Will wanted to kiss him, but they were both moaning too much, so he just rested his forehead on Nico's shoulder and buried his face in the crook of his neck, biting and sucking at his skin.

Nico came first, loudly moaning Will's name. His hand tightened around Will, making him come, too. Will stroked them lightly as they came down from their high, then he collapsed next to Nico.  
They both laid there, panting. 

“Holy...“ Nico whispered. Will chuckled lightly and kissed the back of Nico's hand. They were still intertwined. 

“Was that okay?“ Will asked, suddenly nervous again. 

Nico let out a small giggle. “Will, are you kidding me? That was perfect“

Will let out a sigh of relief. Nico rolled over and kissed his cheek. 

“Eww, I'm all sticky“, he complained. 

Will laughed. “That's because you've got all the jizz on you, Neeks“

Nico giggled and sat up. “I need a shower. You wanna join me?“

Will nodded but then hesitated. Shower meant nakedness. Bare chest. He wasn't sure wether he was ready for that. Nico picked up on it.

“Hey, you - you don't have to. If you're uncomfortable with like, your chest and stuff“, he rambled. 

“Yeah, I think I'm just gonna hop in after you...“ Will mumbled, staring at the ceiling. Nico squeezed his hand. 

“Okay“, he said simply. He kissed Will's cheek and carefully climbed of the bed. 

Will laid there and stared at the ceiling. He was waiting for that phenomenon of feeling used or dirty to set in. It had always happened with Luke in the last few years. But it didn't come. Why not? Will couldn't make a rhyme out of it, why did the bad feeling not set in? He truly did not understand but he was glad. It was one of the worst feelings ever and he was happy to not have to deal with it right now. A wave of stubbornness washed through him. He didn't want to feel bad in his own body anymore. He didn't want to have to hide his chest or flinch away every time someone touched him. No, he was going to do this. 

Will pushed himself off the bed, almost tripping over his pants that were still around his thighs. He pulled them off. He was going to do this. The bathroom door wasn't locked and he pushed it open with shaky fingers. He was going to do this, he could do this. It wasn't a big deal. Just his naked body. No problem. Nico didn't even notice him as he stepped into the bathroom. This was okay, he could do this. He was going to do this. Will took a deep breath and pulled his shirt over his head. He didn't dare to look at his chest, he was feeling good right now and he didn't want to ruin it. Nervously, he opened the glass door to the shower and stepped inside. Nico obviously noticed him now, but Will wrapped his arms around him from behind before he could turn around. He didn't want Nico to see him.

“Hey there“, he whispered into Nico's ear and laid his head on his shoulder.

“Hey, sunshine“, Nico mumbled and squirmed in Will's arms, obviously trying to turn around. 

“Please don't“, Will whispered and kissed Nico's cheek. “I don't want you... I don't want you to see me“

“I understand“, Nico whispered back. Will could barely hear him over the running water. “What if I close my eyes? I really want to kiss you...“

Will thought for a moment. “Okay“, he mumbled. “But don't touch my chest“

As soon as he finished his sentence Nico had spun around in his arms, grabbed his face and kissed him. Will wouldn't admit it, but he loved how Nico took his face in his hands and stood on his tippy toes. They pulled away after a while and Will took the shower head so he could clean himself. 

 

Percy and Jason had definitely heard them, judging by their smug faces and immature giggling. As soon as Will stepped into the living room, Percy cheered and clapped. Jason laughed. Nico was sitting on the coffee table, his face bright red. Will felt his cheeks burning as he made his way over to the couch and sat between Jason and Percy. Percy immediately put his feet in Will's lap, like he always did.

“Okay, so we were just talking about what to have for dinner“, Jason said after he had stopped laughing.

“We could just order pizza again“, Nico proposed.

“Nah, Jason's here, we need to celebrate! We should go out to eat“

“Okay, where?“ Will asked. He was a little nervous about going out and had no idea why. But he didn't want to ruin anyone's fun.

“There's this pub a few streets away, I've known the owner for years, he's my client“, Nico shrugged. “It's pretty good. And not very expensive“

“Alright, the pub it is!“ Jason clapped his hands. “I'm paying!“


	19. Chapter 19

The pub was in walking distance, but they took the car because Jason couldn't walk very far or very fast.  
It was a small pub. Will didn't know it, he had never been there, but it had a nice, cozy atmosphere. The bartender was a young irish lady with fiery red hair. She greeted Nico with a wave and a smile and led them to a booth. Nico took Will's hand under the table as soon as they sat down. Will gripped it tight. Places like this always made him nervous. Too many bad experiences with Luke. Luke and alcohol. But tonight he was determined to enjoy this. He was out with people he loved and he had been exceptionally brave earlier. He was allowed to have a good time. And he was going to.   
They ordered drinks; Nico's and Will's being non-alcoholic. Nico's because he was only 19 and Will's because alcohol still scared him.   
Jason showed them his new tattoo. The lineart was all done. Nico looked really proud.

“That's beautiful, Neeks“, Will told him and squeezed his hand under the table. He wanted to kiss Nico's cheek or something, but he wasn't really comfortable with any sort of PDA yet. He knew Nico understood. 

“Nice work, Ghost King“, Percy chuckled and reached over the table to ruffle Nico's hair. Will tensed up at the nickname, surely this would trigger some sort of sadness or anxiety in Nico, but Nico just laughed. He seemed completely fine. Will relaxed a little.

“You gotta learn to own it, you know?“ He leaned over to Will and whispered in his ear. “I can't have it be a sad thing forever. I don't want that“ 

Will nodded. The bartender/waitress came to take their orders. Will was glad to see Nico ordered an actual meal and not just a kid's meal or a salad. It was good to see him eat.   
They held light conversation and luckily, Percy and Jason having heard them earlier is not brought up again. Jason and Percy did most of the talking, exchanging stories from high school, talking about their respective girlfriends and cracking dumb jokes. Will just sat there, a little tired, holding Nico's hand and listening to the conversation. 

Shortly after their food came, Will coincidentally looked over to the front door and immediately tensed up. His food got stuck in his throat. A blond man entered the pub, accompanied by a shorter, dark haired man. Luke and his partner Ethan. Their eyes met for a split second; Will's blood froze in his veins as he looked into Luke's blue eyes. Luke didn't even seem to recognize him at first, but when he did, unbearable pain seemed to wash across his face. Will quickly looked away. Shit, shit, shit. Fuck, fuck, fuck, what was he supposed to do?!

Nico squeezed his hand.  
“What's wrong?“ He whispered. 

“Luke's here“, Will whispered hoarsely. Percy perked up. 

“What?!“ he hissed. 

“Will, do you want to leave?“ Nico whispered. Will could feel his hand sweat. Nico gripped it tightly. 

“...No“, Will mumbled. Strangely enough, he truly didn't want to. He was tired of Luke ruining things for him. He wanted to stay and enjoy his night with his friends.

“Wait, who's Luke?“ Jason looked confused. 

Percy waved his hand, dismissing him.   
“Later, Jay“ 

Jason nodded.

Will glanced at the bar where Luke and Ethan had taken a seat. He wasn't surprised to see Luke drink some sort of hard liquor and he wasn't surprised to catch him staring over at Will, either. When their eyes met, Luke looked away, seemingly ashamed.

“Okay, this is fine, I can deal with this“, Will mumbled, more to himself. Nico squeezed his hand. He seemed to have abandoned his food and was watching Will with worry. Will nodded over at Nico's half-eaten sandwich.   
“Please, Neeks, eat“

Nico nodded slowly and picked up a few fries. Will loosened his grip on Nico's hand so he could eat, but Nico, being his stubborn self, just ran his thumb along Will's hand and continued eating with one hand. Will half-heartedly picked at his food, barely following the conversation, flashing glances at Luke again and again. Every time he looked over, he felt Nico tense up next to him. But he couldn't help it. He didn't even know why. He watched Luke drink his second and third glass. After the fourth, he suddenly stood up. 

“Oh god, please leave“, Will whispered to himself. Nope. Luke leaned over to Ethan and whispered something in his ear. Then he slowly started walking over to the booth Will and his friends were in. Shit, shit, shit. Will gripped Nico's hand so tight it made him wince.   
“Guys, he's coming over“, Will whispered to his friends. The conversation stopped immediately. 

“Shit!“ Nico hissed.

“What do you need us to do?“ Percy whispered back. 

“Uh“, Will's head was spinning. Think, Will, think! “Okay, you guys are my friends from middle school, I'm staying with you for a while“, he whispered. “And Perce, you can't tell him your name“

Will was worried Luke might cause a scene if he heard Will was staying with the guy Luke had suspected him to be cheating with. If only he knew. Luke was almost there. Will shot his friends one last frantic glance. Nico gave his hand one last squeeze as Will pulled it away. His jaw was clenched so tightly Will was worried he might chip a tooth. Percy looked at him in worry. Jason looked confused, but ready to physically fight Luke. 

“Hey“, Luke said next to Will. Will jumped in his seat a little. He ran a hand through his hair, tugging at it.

“... Hey“, he smiled awkwardly. Luke scratched the back of his neck. He looked like hell. He was pale, dark circles under his eyes. His hair was a mess. Bandages peaked out from under his sleeves. It felt horrible, seeing him like this. Will swallowed dryly.

“Long time no see“

“Yeah, like two weeks“, Will replied. He could feel Nico trembling beside him and pressed his thigh against Nico's as if to say 'it's okay'.

“So, how've you been?“ Luke was slurring a little. 

“Good“, Will shrugged a little. He felt Nico place his hand on his thigh. It calmed him. “Been staying with old friends“  
He nodded over at the others.

Luke nodded slowly. “Care to introduce me?“

He really didn't want to. But he didn't want to start drama either.   
“That's Nico, Jason and... uh“

“Peter. Peter Johnson“, Percy helped him out.

“Yeah. They're friends from middle school“

Luke nodded slowly. “Cool“  
He looked ready to say something else, but Ethan stepped up behind him and laid a hand on his shoulder.

“Here you are“, he said. “C'mon, let's go home“  
His voice was firm and to Will's surprise, Luke followed. He let Ethan turn him around and walk back towards the bar to pay and then to the door. Ethan flashed Will one last glance of sheer anger. When the door fell shut behind them, Will let out air he hadn't even realized he had been holding in. He felt really exhausted. His fists were clenched and when he relaxed them, strands of hair slipped from between his fingers. He slumped down in his seat. Nico reacted immediately, wrapping an arm around Will's shoulders and pulling him to his side. Will rested against him. He felt sick. Nico rubbed his upper arm to calm him, but Will could feel him trembling with anger. Percy wasn't any better. He was ripping his napkin into little shreds and only stopped when Jason laid his hand on his. 

“Are you okay?“ Nico whispered. Will nodded. He wasn't. And Nico could tell. He laid his head on Will's shoulder and sighed.

“We should probably go home“, Percy mumbled. The others nodded. Luckily, they were pretty much done with their meal anyway. Jason insisted on paying and they all made their way to the car. They drove home in silence with Will clinging to Nico for comfort the entire way home.

 

He had trouble sleeping that night, tossing and turning while Nico snored beside him. He had tried to stay awake with Will so he wouldn't have to lie in the dark alone, but eventually Will had pretened to have fallen asleep so Nico wouldn't have to torture himself any longer. Now, Nico was curled up at his side, sleeping soundly and Will was staring at the ceiling. 

Seeing Luke had really messed him up. Will wondered was Luke had told Ethan to make him glare at Will like that. Maybe that Will just left him. Well, he did. But he left for a reason. Luke had hurt him. And Will was better now, that he wasn't with around Luke anymore. Luke, however, seemed to be worse than ever. Will had always known Luke needed him but seeing him like this made him realize that once again. Suddenly, Will felt guilty for leaving. Luke obviously loved him, or else he wouldn't be this awful without him. 

At his side, Nico stirred. His dark curls framed his face, his lips parted lightly. Dark eyelashes against pale skin. A few freckles across his nose. He shifted and his arm draped across Will's chest. Will held his breath, expecting his anxiety to kick in. But, nothing. He counted the seconds. One, two. It usually took him about seven seconds of chest touching to send him into an anxiety attack. Four, five. Will felt completely calm. Seven, eight. Wow. Will let out the air. This was amazing. Nico could touch his chest! And Will was okay with it! A miracle! 

Nico shifted again and his hand brushed over Will's scar. Nope, Will had been wrong. This was horrible and it needed to stop. Now! Will grabbed Nico's wrist and yanked it off his chest. His anxiety levels were through the roof. Nico awoke with a jolt.

“Will?“ He gasped lightly, “Will, what's wrong?“

“Nothing, it's fine, you just touched my chest, it's okay“, Will whispered.

“Oh, I'm sorry“, Nico scooted away from Will a little. 

“It's okay, it's okay“, Will whispered and pulled Nico back in, hugging him from behind, quietly complaining when he Nico's long hair got into his mouth. Nico chuckled lightly. They laid there in silence. Will let his heartbeat calm down for a while.

“You know“, he whispered into the crook of Nico's neck. “Before you touched my scar, you could touch my chest just fine. Isn't that amazing?“

Nico didn't answer. He had already fallen asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love that some people figured out what was going to happen at the pub :D
> 
> Also a big thank you to everyone leaning kudos and especially all these nice comments they make me smile like crazy :D


	20. Chapter 20

The next morning, Will woke up to an empty bed. When he checked his phone, he knew why: it was almost noon. Nico went to work already. Will noticed a stinging feeling on his forearms and looked down. He had scratched himself again. He hadn't done that in a while. Huh. He laid there for a while. But with no hands or lips to distract him, he got up quite quickly and met Jason in the kitchen. He was sitting at the small kitchen table no one ever used, a mug in his hand. Will grabbed a juice box and sat on the other chair.

“Morning“

Jason looked up from his phone.  
“Morning. You feeling better?“

“Yeah“, Will stabbed the straw into his juice box.   
“Sorry about what happened last night“

“Hey, don't worry about it, it's not your fault“, Jason assured him. “Percy told me“

“Told you what exactly?“ Will didn't really want everyone to know about his relationship drama.

“That he's your boyfriend, but he's not good for you and we might need to protect you from him“, Jason said.

Will let out a sigh of relief. He could live with that. He finished his juice box and stood up to throw it away. 

“Hey, while you're standing, could you grab me a yoghurt from the fridge? I- uh“ Jason pointed to his leg, or lack of one. Will hadn't even realised he wasn't wearing his prosthetic leg. 

“Sure“, Will opened the fridge. “Strawberry or mango?“ 

“Strawberry. Thanks, bud“

“No problem“   
Will grabbed one for himself and spoons for the both of them and sat back down.

“Nico told me how you lost it“, he said as he handed Jason his yoghurt. “That was really brave of you“

Jason laughed, but Will could tell he was flattered. “Cost me a leg and the ability to drive, but I definitely don't regret it“

Will chuckled. “Does it hurt?“ He asked carefully. “Your leg?“

“Sometimes“, Jason replied, stirring his yoghurt. He seemed completely comfortable talking about it. “The flashbacks are worse. Of the accident“   
He looked up and Will was suddenly taken aback by the intensity in his blue eyes.  
“I used to not even be able to look at it. No one could touch it, not even Piper“

“I know how you feel“, Will whispered. He had been hesitant, but now he wanted to share experiences with this guy he barely knew.   
“I had an accident, too. I can't even bear to look at my scar...“

Jason gave him a sympathetic look. “It'll get better. You need to lean to live with it, I guess“

“Yeah, I guess“, Will shrugged. “I think it's getting better already“

“Well, congratulations“ Jason smiled. He rubbed his hand over his stump and winced lightly. Will knew how he felt. His scar hurt from time to time, too.

 

Both Nico and Percy were home early today and Percy called for what he described as a 'family meeting'. Jason didn't attend, he was taking a nap in Percy's bed, which they were currently sharing. The rest gathered in the living room and Percy brought his laptop because his girlfriend Annabeth would be attending, too. Will had never met her before, so Percy quickly introduced him. Will liked Annabeth immediately. 

“Okay so I'd be moving in with you guys in two weeks exactly“, Annabeth said. Percy nodded. He seemed really excited, like a small child. Nico punched him in the arm. Annabeth laughed.  
“I also have some news. You know I was concerned that the apartment might be too small to have three - or now even four - people living in there, but we didn't have the money... my uncle Randolph died a few days ago“   
She dismissed everyone's condolences with a wave of her hand.   
“Anyway, he was really rich and owned a bunch of houses. He left me the one he had in New York, we could there!“

“That'd be awesome!“ Percy exclaimed. 

Nico squealed in excitement and almost hit Will in the face. Will giggled. He didn't really know what to contribute to the conversation, hell, he didn't even pay rent for this place!

“Where is it?“ Percy asked, bouncing in his spot.

Annabeth pulled out her phone. She read out an adress that Will recognized was only a few minutes away from the Apollon Hospital. Annabeth and Percy went over a few details, like what still needed to be done concerning paper work and renovations and came to the conclusion that they should start as soon as Annabeth was in New York.

“Will, you're welcome to live there with us, of course“, Annabeth said. Percy nodded eagerly. “Any friend of Nico is a friend of mine“

Nico giggled and kissed Will's cheek. Will blushed and smiled sheepishly. “Thanks“, he mumbled. 

They left Percy alone to talk to Annabeth in the living room. As soon as Will shut the bedroom door behind him, Nico stood up on his tippy toes and kissed him. He pulled away with a smile.

“I've missed you all day“, he whispered and tucked a strand of hair behind Will's ear. Will blushed a little. He watched Nico plop down at his desk and pull out his sketch book. A lump formed in his throat. 

“Neeks?“ 

“Hmm?“

“I- uh“, Will swallowed. The lump didn't go away. “Yesterday while you were gone... I looked through your sketchbook“  
Will had been thinking over the course of the day and came to the conclusion that it had been a violation of Nico's privacy. His sketchbook was what Nico cherished the most and Will had just looked at it without asking. He felt really bad about it.

Nico slammed the book shut and spun around in his chair. “Will, that thing is like my diary“, he said, his face blank. 

Will swallowed again. He ran a hand through his hair. “I know and I'm sorry...“ he mumbled. 

“You could have asked!“ Nico sounded genuinely mad. Will's stomach twisted. He instinctively backed away a little.

“I'm sorry...“   
Will hadn't even realized he should have asked when he had first opened it. But Luke had always just gone through his stuff, he thought it was normal! Oh god, what if he had ruined whatever he and Nico had? What if he had messed up that bad?

Nico groaned and buried his face in his hands. Suddenly, he threw his hands in the air, sighing loudly. Will immediately flinched away, squeezing his eyes shut and turned his head away from Nico. His shaking fingers pulled and tugged at his hair. He felt Nico come closer and held his breath. 

“Will“, Nico said quietly.

“Don't hit me, please“, he whispered. 

“Hey, Will, relax“, Nico's voice sounded gentle. “I'm not going to hurt you“

Will hesitantly opened his eyes and looked at Nico. Nico stood a stretch away from him, looking worried. 

“Can I touch you?“ 

Will nodded hesitantly. Nico slowly reached up and took Will's hand, pulling it out of his hair. A few blonde locks fell onto the carpet. 

“Please don't hurt yourself“, he whispered and ran his thumb across Will's knuckles. Will shivered.

“Are you mad at me?“ Will stared down Nico's hands in his, not daring to look him in the face. 

“A little“, Nico mumbled. Will swallowed dryly. “I'm not angry that you looked at it, I'm just mad you didn't ask“

Will nodded. He felt really bad. He was still scared that he had ruined everything. A single tear ran down his cheek and fell onto Nico's hand.  
“Do you hate me now?“

“Hey“, Nico whispered, “Please don't cry, sunshine. Of course I don't hate you, Will of course not“

Will sniffled. More tears fell. He couldn't help it, he felt so guilty and so relieved that Nico didn't hate him. Nico opened up his arms and Will melted into them, hugging him close and crying into his shoulder. 

“You didn't know it wasn't okay, did you?“ Nico whispered into Will's hair. “Because Luke always went through your stuff...“

Will sniffed. “I thought it was normal...“

“Oh, Will“, Nico whispered and kissed Will's forehead. “Don't worry, it's okay, it's okay“ 

 

Nico went back to sketching and Will found himself a book to read. He kept checking his phone. Usually, Luke would text him at least twice a day. But today, nothing. Will was worried. He had seen the bandages. He had seen what an awful state he was in. He didn't want Luke to hurt himself. Conflicted, he kept opening the chat between him and Luke, his thumb hovering over the keyboard.   
Eventually, he pulled himself together and sent Luke a text:

'Please don't hurt yourself again'

Immediately after he hit 'send', he turned his phone off and threw it across the bed. Having misjudged the bounciness of the mattress, his phone landed on the carpet with a soft thud. Nico didn't even look up. Will chewed on his lip. He felt like he was betraying Nico somehow, by talking to Luke, but at the same time, he felt it had been a justified action. He had seen how much of a mess Luke was and with him being the reason for Luke being a mess, it was perfectly fine for Will to check in on him! Also, Nico and him were not officially dating. Hell, Will didn't even know if he loved Nico! He definitely liked him and platonically, you could definitely call it love, but it was definitely too early for him to know if he romantically loved Nico. And didn't love Luke anymore. It was just all too early and too much and... ugh. Will groaned.

“You okay?“ Nico asked from the desk. He turned to look at Will. 

“Yeah“, Will nodded. “Just a lot on my mind“

“Like what?“ Nico looked a little worried.

“Just... nothing.“ Will didn't want to upset Nico. They had already fought. He pushed himself off the bed and walked over to the desk, leaning over Nico's shoulder. “What are you working on?“

“A first draft for a customer. Did you see Jason's tattoo?“

“Yeah. It's awesome“  
Jason had showed him before he went to bed. It was absolutely stunning.   
Will wrapped his arms around Nico's shoulders and kissed his cheek.

“You touched my chest last night, you know?“ he whispered.

“I know, I'm sorry“, Nico replied, a little distracted.

“No, you don't understand“  
Will explained what happenend the night before. 

Nico turned around, a huge smile on his face.  
“Sunshine, that's amazing!“ he exclaimed and grabbed Will's face to kiss him. Will smiled against his lips. 

“Could you... could you try and touch it? Right now?“ Will asked. “I wanna see how it feels“ 

Nico nodded. He pushed his chair back a little. Will stepped in front of him. 

“Where exactly?“ Nico asked, his voice barely audible. It was obvious he was nervous. Will didn't blame him, so was he. 

Will pointed to a spot just an inch beneath his collarbone. Nico reached out carefully, slowly. So slowly Will almost grabbed his hand to press it on the spot, just to get it over with. Nico's palm finally connected with Will's body. He drew in a sharp breath. He could feel Nico's warm skin through his shirt. Will counted seconds again. When his anxiety failed to kick in after over 20 seconds, Will let out a small laugh. Nico grinned widely.

“How is it?“ 

“Great... I actually feel okay! It feels good, Neeks, it feels good!“ Will had happy tears in his eyes.

Nico smiled up at Will from his chair. His eyes were sparkling. “I'm so happy for you, sunshine“

Will sheepishly smiled down at Nico. “I like it when you call me that...“

Nico smirked. “I know, I can tell“

Will blushed. Nico's hand moved from his chest to the collar of his shirt. He grabbed it and pulled Will down to kiss him. Will let him. 

 

Late at night, when Nico was already fast asleep, Will dared to turn his phone back on. He had a text from Luke. 

'I won't. I'm sorry. I love you'

'I love you too' Will typed, more out of habit than out of instinct. Before he could send it, he deleted it. He almost turned his phone back off, but it buzzed. Luke.

'I miss you'

And another one.

'Wish we could be okay again'

Will sighed and reluctantly texted back.

'Me too'


	21. Chapter 21

Will had managed to get himself a checkup appointment with Michael. It had taken a lot of convincing from Nico and the promise that he would accompany him. Will didn't like dealing with his ribs. Or any other injury. But they were killing him and Nico kept bugging him to get them checked, to find out whether they were healing okay. So, Will finally pulled himself together and called his brother.

“I'm proud of you“, Nico mumbled as Will hung up the call. “Good job“

Will leant over and kissed his cheek. Nico smiled weakly. Will could tell he wasn't feeling well. The shadows under his eyes were almost as dark as the eyes themselves, he looked sickly. He barely slept that night. He refused to admit it, but he was definitely slipping into a depressive episode. Will knew him well enough to know what these were like. Nico barely slept, ate or spoke. Still, he insisted on going to the check up with Will. Will was often overwhelmed by how caring Nico was. He certainly wasn't used to being cared about.

“Are you okay?“, he whispered. Nico shrugged. He was staring out the window, his back towards Will. Will laid his chin on his shoulder.   
“Hey, Neeks, are you okay?“  
He wrapped an arm around Nico's waist. Nico took his hand and began playing with his fingers.

“Not really...“, he mumbled. 

Will sighed. His heart felt heavy. He hated seeing Nico suffer. His unshaven, scruffy cheek brushed against Will's. His hair was a mess. Nico hadn't been able to get out of bed until an hour ago.  And it was past noon now. Showering had not been an option. Nico had explained to him that his depression had gotten better, but when it hit, it hit him hard. 

“Are you sure you wanna come with me?“ Will whispered and kissed Nico's cheek. Nico nodded with such enthusiasm his head bumped against Will's. Will chuckled. Nico leaned back against him and Will felt him sigh. He hated how helpless he felt. He knew he couldn't do anything to make it better, just to make it less awful.   
“We need to go soon“, Will whispered. Nico nodded lightly. 

“I should take a shower“, he mumbled and slowly, very slowly moved out of Will's arms and off the couch. Will watched him make his way to the bathroom, dragging his bare feet over the floorboards. Will had wanted to offer joining him to help him wash his hair or hug him or anything else Nico might need right now. But he wasn't comfortable with that just yet. He knew Nico understood, but still, he felt bad. Nico deserved more than this. Than him. Him and his mess. Will leaned back on the couch, sighing. His fingernails scraped over his wrists and forearms, but he didn't even notice.

They were alone in the apartment. Percy was at work. Jason had left early this morning to catch his plane back home. And Nico was in the shower. Will was left on his own on the couch, silently crying and scratching himself. He hadn't felt this bad in quite some time. It was a mix of equally shitty emotions:

He was angry at himself for not being able to help Nico, to make him feel better. He couldn't even perform such a simple task!  
But he wasn't just angry, he was also worried. Worried and scared. Worried that Nico might hurt himself. Luke always did.   
And Will was scared Nico might get angry at him for... whatever. Luke was always a lot more likely to get angry when he was -   
No, stop that! Will mentally scolded himself. Nico is not Luke! He won't hurt you and he won't hurt himself!   
But you are, a voice in his head, possibly his conscience, whispered. Will looked down at his wrists. Some of the scratches were bleeding. 

Will heard the door to Nico's bedroom open. He hadn't even realized the shower had stopped running. The scent of pomegranate was in the air. Nico stepped up to him from behind and kissed the top of Will's head. Will hastily hid his wrists in the pockets of his sweatshirt. He hoped Nico wouldn't notice. Unfortunately, he did. 

“Oh, sunshine“, he mumbled and in less than a second, he went around the couch and sat next to Will. He reached out and gently took Will's wrists, turning them to reveal scratches over scratches.  
“Will, why?“

Sobbing, Will explained. Nico pulled him into a hug. His wet hair left stains on Will's sweater.

“Will, you're helping so much“, he whispered into the crook of Will's neck.   
“I don't know where I would be without you“  
He placed a small kiss on Will's skin.  
“I promise you, I won't ever hurt you. Or myself. Okay?“  
Will nodded against Nico's shoulder. Nico pulled away. He lifted Will's hands to his lips and pressed a kiss to each of his knuckles.   
“Let's get your wrists cleaned. We need to leave soon“

They took the subway to the hospital. Nico had originally wanted to take the motorcycle, but Will had been worried whether Nico was able to drive. Afterall, he had taken his meds and they often made him space out. Michael waited for them outside the ER. He usually only worked the night shift, but a colleague owed him a favor, so Michael had convinced him to let him use his examination room for a checkup. Will was really grateful his brother understood that no other doctor could possibly examine his chest and that he went to such efforts to help Will out. 

“Hey, bro“, Michael greeted him. He had learned not to hug Will, so he looked a little confused when Will pulled him into an embrace. He laughed a little when Will pulled away.

“Hey, Mikey“, Will grinned. He laid a hand on Nico's back. “That's Nico, he's the friend I told you about“

Michael smiled and shook Nico's hand. Nico managed to weakly smile back.

As soon as they entered the borrowed examination room, Michael got straight to the point, as usual and Will told to “sit his ass down and take his shirt off“. Nico took a seat on a nearby chair and respectfully averted his gaze as Will pulled off his sweater and shirt. 

“No, it's okay, you can look if you want“, Will quietly told him, so Nico turned his head towards him again. He looked curious. Will was a little uncomfortable with having Nico's eyes on him, but, at the same time, it was strangely comforting. 

Michael knew to be quick with Will. He wasted no time in examining his chest, making Will cough and pressing his fingers onto the faded bruises. 

“So how's it going with Nyssa?“ Will asked and winced when Michael pressed his finger to a particularly sensitive spot.

“She's moving in next week“ Michael sounded excited like a kid on Christmas morning.

“Nice, congratulations bro“, Will grinned. He turned to Nico. “Nyssa's his girlfriend“

Nico gave an awkward thumbs up. Will resisted the urge to grin like an idiot or even blow him a kiss. It would result in too many questions from Michael.

“Okay bud, time for your x-ray“, Michael slapped Will's knee and stood up from his chair. Will hastily put on his shirt  
“We'll be right back“, he said to Nico, who nodded. Will flashed him a smile on the way out.

As soon as the door closed behind him, Michael turned to Will.  
“Are you gay for him or what?“

Will laughed nervously, almost tripping over his own feet. “Why would you think that?“

“C'mon Will, I'm your brother. I've known you all your life. I know when you have the hots for someone“

Will shrugged.

“Are you guys dating?“

“Well...“ Will scratched the back of his neck. “Sorta“  
He explained the situation. Michael let out a squeal that would put a fangirl to shame.

“Does that mean you finally broke up with Luke?“

Will shook his head. “I'm not ready for that yet“

Michael shrugged. “Oh well. I'm sure you will eventually“  
Will was glad his brother wasn't the type to make a big deal out of feelings. Or anything else that wasn't related to medicine.   
They had reached radiology. Michael held open the door for Will.   
“After you“

Will stepped inside, then turned around.   
“You don't think it's weird? Me and Nico?“

“No, Will“, Michael smiled. “I think it's beautiful“  
He wasn't even being sarcastic. 

They got back to the examination room quite quickly. Nico must have fallen asleep in his chair because he jerked awake and almost fell off when they entered.

“How's it looking?“ He rambled as he tied up his hair.

Michael cleared his throat.   
“Okay, so the first two weeks of healing went really well“  
He used his 'I'm a doctor' voice.  
“But I suggest you don't go back to work for another four weeks so it'll heal up nicely. And it's gonna hurt for at least half a year“

Will nodded. He already knew most of this. He had done his research. Luckily, he had insurance and missing work for health reasons wouldn't ruin his life.

After Michael had prescribed him some more pain medication and made him promise to “fucking call some time, Will“, they were on their way again. Luckily Michael didn't seem to have noticed the scratches or he knew not to comment on them.

“So that's Michael“, Nico said as they left the hospital. “I like him“

“Yeah, he's a cool dude“, Will said and passed the homeless guy sitting by the ER some change, like he always did.   
“If you like him, you're gonna love Kayla. They were quite the dynamic duo when we were kids“

“Does that mean you're gonna introduce me to your siblings?“ Nico asked.

Will almost stopped in his tracks. Introduce Nico... like he would a boyfriend? That seemed a bit much, didn't it?

“Oh, no, no, I didn't mean... I didn't mean it like that“, Nico rambled. He quickly let go of Will's hand. He usually wasn't this nervous but Will knew having a bad day changed him. And on a  good day he'd be himself again.

“Don't worry about it“, Will mumbled and reached for Nico's hand again. “I'll introduce you“

Nico squeezed his hand. Will could tell he was tired. Talking took a lot out of him today. Will leaned over and kissed his temple. Nico gave him a small smile. He didn't speak for the entire way home.

At night, Will laid awake. Nico peacefully slept at his side. Will turned to look at him. He was glad Nico was finally sleeping. He had been tossing and turning a lot. It had messed up his hair, loose strands had slipped from his ponytail and framed his face. His lips were slightly parted. Will smiled. He liked looking at him, a lot actually. Carefully, he tucked a lock behind Nico's ear. Nico's eyebrows furrowed, then relaxed again. Oops. Luckily, he didn't wake him.  
He was glad Michael liked Nico. Will had always valued his brother's opinions, which is why it had been so tense between them when he had trouble with Luke. But Michael liked Nico!   
Will chewed on his bottom lip. He knew Nico understood and would give him all the time he needed, but Will still felt the pressure. He was sure he and only he was putting it on himself, but it was pressure nonetheless. He needed to make a damn decision! Finally break up with Luke and tell Nico he was ready for a relationship! It's what he wanted, right? Right?! Will choked back a sob. He didn't know. He truly didn't know. He knew he didn't want his relationship with Luke to be the way it was, with the fighting and the violence. He knew he liked Nico, maybe... maybe even loved him. Nico made him feel okay. Good. Great even. But so had Luke, when they had first fallen in love. What if what he and Nico had went down the drain, too?   
Tears ran down Will's face. He couldn't hide the sobbing anymore. Quickly, he clamped a hand over his mouth to hide the sounds. Nico shifted.

“Will?“ he mumbled, still half asleep. “What's wrong?“

“Nothing“, Will whispered. He tried his best to sound calm. “Go back to sleep, Neeks“

Nico seemed to believe it. He hummed and moved a little closer. Will held out his arm and Nico let him pull him in, snuggling into his side. Quickly, his breathing went slow and even. Will held him close, tears still running down his face. What was he going to do? 

He didn't remember falling asleep but woke up in cold sweat. A bad dream. He couldn't remember what it had been about, all he knew was that it had terrified him. His heart was pounding so hard it made his ribs ache, despite the painkillers. He couldn't be alone in the dark right now. He lightly shook Nico's shoulder. Usually, he would be impossible to wake, but tonight, Will was lucky. Nico stirred.

“Hmm?“ 

“Neeks“, Will whispered. “Nico“

He lightly shook his shoulder again. Nico opened his eyes. 

“Sunshine“, he mumbled and blinked a few times. “Is something wrong?“

“I - I had a bad dream“, Will whispered. He noticed a stinging feeling on his wrists. Oh no. Not again.   
Nico moved an held open his arms. 

“C'mere“, he mumbled. Will shifted into his embrace. Nico kissed the back of his neck. His hands reached for Will's wrists. Will winced. He knew that Nico knew he had scratched himself again.

“I'm sorry“, he whispered.

“Don't be“  
Nico kissed his neck again.   
“It's not your fault“

They laid there in silence. Will slowly felt his racing heart slow down. Nico did his best to comfort him, placing small kisses on his skin and running his fingers along Will's arms.

“Thank you“, Will whispered after a while. 

“For what?“ Nico pressed another kiss to his neck. Will shivered a little.

“For being there for me. Through all this shit with Luke, you know... Even though you have your own crap to deal with. I don't know what I'd do without you“, he whispered. He rarely spoke about his feelings like this. Vulnerability scared the shit out of him. 

Nico didn't answer at first, which made Will nervous. He pressed his lips to Will's neck once more.  
“I should be the one thanking you“, he finally whispered, his voice barely audible.  
“If you hadn't found me that night and volunteered to take care of me... you probably saved my life“

“Nico...“, Will whispered. He was a little shocked.

“No, let me explain“, Nico ran his thumb over Will's forearm. “I was in a really dark place when I met you. And at first I was angry that Percy didn't trust me, but then I met you... and you really helped me and made me happy“, he kissed Will's neck again. “And then I developed a little crush and it got bigger and bigger and, well, here we are“  
Will felt him smile. He chuckled.

“Yeah, I definitely had a crush on you, too...“, he mumbled. “I kept thinking about you, even during sex...“  
He didn't know why he was telling Nico that.

Nico giggled. “I like that...“

“What, the thought of me having sex?“

“No“, Nico mumbled, “You thinking about me. And that you have a crush“

Will turned until he faced Nico.  
“Just that or the other thing too?“ He asked and pecked his lips.

Will could practically hear Nico roll his eyes. It made him laugh a little. 

"Maybe", Nico admitted, chuckling lightly. 

Will suddenly got the wildest idea he had ever had (at least that's what he thought in that exact moment, later on he would realize he was just nervous as hell. The idea wasn't that crazy).

"Nico", he whispered. "I wanna try something"

"Try what?", Nico whispered back. He sounded a little nervous.

"Don't worry, it's nothing crass..."   
Will moved away from Nico a little and sat up. He could feel Nico watching him or at least trying to, since it was pitch black. Strangely, it didn't bother him. Being stared at usually did. Will took a deep breath and yanked his shirt over his head in one swift motion. A little too swift for his poor ribs. He winced in pain and threw his shirt as far away from him as possible. He didn't want to freak out and put it back on. He was going to do this.

"Did you just take your shirt off?" Nico whispered beside him.

Will nodded, then realized Nico couldn't see him.  
"Yeah", he whispered. "I wanna try and sleep topless"

Nico was silent for a few seconds. "Okay", he whispered. "Just tell me if I'm like making you uncomfortable or something"

Will was glad Nico wasn't making a big deal out of it. If he had, Will might have freaked out. He felt Nico's eyes on him as he laid back down and got comfortable, but still, it didn't bother him. How strange. Good, of course, but strange. Well, he wasn't complaining. He laid there for a moment, just breathing calmly and... feeling. Feeling the covers against his skin, Nico's body heat next to him, suddenly much more prominent than it was before. His scar's tissue was mostly numb to any touching sensation and it was strange to feel the cotton blanket around it, but not on it.   
Nico quietly laid next to him. Will could tell by his breathing that he was awake. 

"How does it feel?" He whispered.

"New", Will mumbled. "Strange. But it's good. It's good"   
He smiled. This was going great!  
He couldn't help but feel proud of himself. He was slowly overcoming his biggest insecurity! Yay for him!

"Can- can I hold you?" He whispered. He should probably be taking this slow, but he missed Nico's warmth and he was feeling adventurous tonight. So, fuck it.

"Of course", Nico mumbled. Will could hear his smile in his voice. He shuffled closer and lightly nudged Nico to make him turn around. Chest to chest contact was too much for now. And he knew Nico liked being the little spoon.   
Nervously, he wrapped his arms around Nico and pulled him in. His breathing hitched when Nico's bare back hit his chest, hot skin pressing against him. He swallowed. This is Nico, he reminded himself. You like him, this is fine. And it was. It really was. 

"Will", Nico mumbled. "Breathe"

Will let out air he hadn't even realized he had been holding it. It made him laugh a little. A nervous little laugh. Nico joined it. The movement of his chest felt strange against Will's body. Skin was moving against skin. Nico's back was rather skinny and Will could feel his spine sticking out a little. When he laughed, a vertebra bumped against the scar. Will froze.   
This is fine, he reminded himself. It's fine. He placed a few kisses on Nico's shoulder to distract himself. It worked. Kinda.

"I'm so proud of you", Nico whispered. He felt around the bed a little until he found Will's hands and held them. "So proud, sunshine"

Will smiled. His cheeks were really warm and he couldn't tell whether it was because he was blushing or from all the body heat between them. 

"Think you can sleep?" Nico whispered. He sounded really tired. 

"Yeah", Will mumbled. He wasn't lying. It had taken him a little to adjust, but now he was fine. Comfortable, even. Happy. 

Nico nodded lightly, hugged Will's wrists tight to his chest and soon, his breathing went slow and even. Will fell asleep soon after, a small smile on his lips.


	22. Chapter 22

When Will woke up the next morning, he felt strangely cold. It took him a few seconds to realize the reason for it: his bare chest. It freaked him out a little, he felt so vulnerable. Where was his shirt? He spotted it on the floor, a few feet away from the bed. When he moved, trying to sit up, Nico stirred next to him. He mumbled something in his sleep and rolled over, his arm and half his torso suddenly draped over Will's chest. He could feel Nico's even and slow breathing on his collar bone. Sighing, he relaxed into his pillow again. He didn't want to wake Nico up; he was glad that he was sleeping so peacefully. Of course he was nervous about being topless. But for Nico's sake, he did his best to relax. It worked out surprisingly well. After a few minutes, Will actually started enjoying the sensation of Nico on his chest a little. How amazing! He hadn't been able to do such a thing since the accident! This was great!  
Sometimes Will couldn't help but wonder why the chest thing was what had stuck with him after the accident. Why not a fear of driving? That would have been logical. Or panicking when he had to drive during the winter? Why the chest?  
Well, he had been really uncomfortable and self conscious about the stitches and the bruises... and about how skinny yet chubby he was. Luke definitely hadn't helped. He had always gotten upset when he saw the scar. For the first two years of their relationship at least. He claimed it was because it reminded him of Will suffering. Somehow, Will had adopted that mindset. Maybe Luke really had been unhealthy to be around.

Will had somehow managed to grab his book off the nightstand without disturbing Nico and just read for a little while as he waited for him to wake up. Two and a half chapters in, Nico began to stir. 

"Will?" He mumbled like he did every morning, his eyes still closed. Will hummed and brought his free hand up to Nico's hair, stroking it. He didn't even look up from his book. He was a little amazed at how calm he was in a situation like this. And a little proud.  
He felt Nico smile. Suddenly, he seemed to notice he was laying across Will's chest and jerked away.  
"Oh god, Will, I'm sorry-" he rambled. Will dropped his book and turned to Nico, cupping his cheeks in his hands, a huge smile on his face.

"No, it's fine, Neeks", he whispered and pecked Nico's lips. "It's actually fine, I feel good, I didn't panic! Isn't that great?"

A big smile spread across Nico's face. "Yeah", he whispered back and leaned in to kiss Will. Will kissed him back. Both of them were still smiling, which made the kiss a little awkward, but neither of them cared. 

"So, how are you feeling today?" Will asked as they got dressed a little later. He always took his time to ask that. Percy had given him that tip, because if he asked right when they woke up like he wanted to, Nico would try and find out how he felt and he would notice he wasn't okay instead of just getting up and trying to get through the day.

Nico shrugged. "I can manage, I guess"  
Will knew that was a euphemism for 'I want to die'. It made him want to hug Nico close and never let go, but he knew Nico would feel like he pitied him. He hated being pitied.

Nico side eyed him. He had stopped mid-shirt, with only his arms in the sleeves.   
"I'm fine, really"

"Sure you are", Will mumbled and smiled at Nico, wrapping an arm around his waist and kissing his forehead. Nico jokingly glared up at him and finally pulled his shirt over his head.

Will could definitely tell Nico wasn't fine. It was not just that he only did as much as pick at his breakfast, he also got increasingly snappy over the course of the morning. Will didn't really know how to deal with that, Nico usually tried to contain his... well, bitchiness, around him. Maybe today was just that bad. Or it was his fault...

"Neeks?" He quietly asked. 

"Hmm?" Nico grumbled. They were in his bedroom. Nico was doing sketches for work since he usually didn't go to the parlour on his bad days. Will was sitting on the floor, his back to against the bed. He was trying to read but was too busy freaking out, so he was actually just reading the same line over and over again and it still didn't make sense.

"Are you mad at me...?" He asked, even quieter this time.

"Mh-mh", Nico mumbled, not even looking up. Will could see his face was all scrunched up, he was obviously concentrating. Or annoyed. Had Will annoyed him? The thought made him panic. Annoying Luke had easily ended in at least a slap in the face...  
No, stop, Will had to tell himself. Nico is not Luke. He's just having a bad day and he won't hurt you. This will be fine. 

Still, he couldn't shake the feeling he was annoying the shit out of Nico. He didn't dare to ask if he was because if he was, him asking would be even more annoying and if he wasn't yet, then he definitely would be. He considered just sitting in the living room but leaving Nico all alone when he wasn't doing well sounded like to much of a risk. Maybe it would make him feel like Will wasn't there for him or, even worse, he could hurt himself. He knew Nico had promised that he wouldn't but... who knew? It could always go wrong...

The atmosphere in the room grew more and more tense by the minute. Will had given up reading by now; he was just staring at the pages, one hand tugging at his hair. He really missed Percy right now. He would have known how to lighten the mood. Sadly, Percy had already went to work when Will and Nico had woken up.   
It started to rain, the big droplets drumming against the windows in Nico's bedroom.   
Bummer, Will thought. He would have loved to sit on the balcony. Or at least open the window. It was so stuffy in here.   
His phone buzzed. The noise made both him and Nico jump.

"Sorry", Will whispered, even though he knew it wasn't his fault. Nico just grumbled.   
It was a text from Luke. Will reluctantly opened it, expecting the usual, but no.

"Will, my love,   
I'm so sorry. I should have never let it come this far. I hurt you and I'll never be able to forgive myself for that. When you left I was devastated. Ethan had to physically drag me out of that hole. I've been completely sober for two days now. No alcohol, no cigarettes. I can do this. For you. I love you. I don't know where you are, I don't know the people you're with, but I hope you're safe. I doubt you'll come back, I know I really fucked up, but you haven't officially ended things and that gives me hope. I've changed, Will. I know it doesn't matter anymore, but I have. Please call me. I want to talk things out. Please. I love you.  
-Luke"

Will stared at his phone. What the hell. Strangely enough, he was smiling. He didn't know Luke had it in him. Part of him wanted to go home to him now. Will read the text again. And again. He chuckled a little. 

"Hmm?" Nico mumbled at his desk.

Will turned off his phone. "Nothing"

Nico didn't say anything else. Will checked his wristwatch. It had been a few hours since they last ate. And Nico had barely eaten anything. Will pushed himself off the ground, his book falling off his lap. He had honestly forgotten it was still there. Nico didn't ask where he was going as he left the room and trotted to the kitchen. He didn't really have the energy to actually cook anything so he just made a sandwich for Nico. He didn't prepare anything for himself. He felt too sick to eat.   
Nico didn't even look up when Will set the plate down next to him. 

"You need to eat, Nico", Will said quietly. Nico looked up. He stared at the sandwich for a moment, then his eyes met Will's. For a second, Will was overwhelmed by the amount of affection they held. He smiled, which made Nico blush. Will hoped he would smile back, it would be his first one today. Instead, Nico suddenly looked scared. Freaked out.   
"Hey, what's wrong?" Will mumbled. "Why are scared?"

Nico frowned, no looking even more afraid.   
"Stop that", he said softly.

Will raised his eyebrows as if to ask 'stop what?'.

"Stop reading my mind!" Nico snapped.   
There was nothing soft about his voice now. Or his face. Or his body language as he pushed back his desk chair and stood up, facing Will. Will was freaking out on the inside but tried his best to remain calm. His hands were twitching.

"You always know what I'm feeling and it's freaking me out! Stop it!" Nico snapped. Will couldn't help it, he jumped back. Immediately, Nico looked apologetic. 

"It's okay", Will mumbled. He knew Nico hadn't meant to scare him.

"See?!", Nico was shouting now. Will absolute hated it. He could feel his already high anxiety kick in. Not good.   
"It's like you're in my head!"

"I'm sorry..." Will mumbled. He wasn't sure whether Nico had heard. Apparently, he hadn't because he continued shouting.

"And you keep being nice even though I'm acting like a jerk and you take care of me and all that shit...!" Nico groaned and buried his face in his hands, leaving a prominent ink smudge on his cheek and forehead. Will resisted the instinct to wipe it off. 

"I'm sorry", he mumbled, a little louder this time. Surely Nico had heard, but he seemed to ignore it.

"It's not like you're my boyfriend!" He hissed. "You like to call me your friend, but we both know we're more than that, you just refuse to make it official!"   
That struck a nerve. Will was touchy about that and Nico knew it! How could he...? Will wanted to cry. But their complicated relationship seemed to stress both of them. Nico looked so hurt. Will felt guilty. And even more freaked out. He was the reason it was so tense between them. And that Nico might hate him now. He reached out to try and touch Nico, maybe try and calm him down, but Nico swatted his hand away. It didn't hurt but Will still winced. He was just too used to being slapped. Nico looked guilty about it, but didn't say anything. He just stared out the window.

"Neeks..." Will whispered. He desperately wanted to fix this, but he didn't know how. Hell, he didn't even really understand what was wrong!

Nico turned to him again, tears in his eyes. One rolled down his cheek as he spoke.  
"Just... go", he said coldly.

Will looked at him in shock. What? Where did that come from?! He swallowed. His mouth and throat was dry as a desert. His heart was pounding painfully hard.

"Leave me alone!" Nico practically yelled and Will lost it. Tears streamed down his face as he stumbled backwards, grabbing his phone off the desk on his way out. In trance, he put on his shoes and jacket. He later didn't know how he had managed not to get hit by a car on his way home. Yes, home. He figured that was with Luke again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, this one's kinda short... school has been stressful and I'm always working on multiple stories at once so... Sorry :/


	23. Chapter 23

In retrospect, Will had to admit that he should have probably texted Luke to tell him he was home. But when he had arrived at the apartment he had been a mess. He was still crying and it had taken him seven tries to get the keys into the lock. Luckily they'd still been in his jacket. He had stumbled inside, sobbing and coughing from the cold smoke, somehow managed to kick off his shoes and just collapsed on the couch. Luke had come home half an hour later and literally pulled his gun on Will because he thought he was an intruder. Will didn't really understand why an intruder would take a nap on the couch but he could understand why Luke was surprised. He hadn't expected to be back here either. 

After realized who was lying on his couch Luke dropped to his knees. His gun was gone so fast Will wasn't even sure it had ever been there. 

"Will", he whispered. He looked like he couldn't believe Will was actually here. "You came back"

"Yeah..." Will sat up and smiled awkwardly. "I did"

Luke actually had tears in his eyes. Will could not recall the last time he had seemed this relieved. And this worried. His eyes roamed over Will's body, scanning him as if scanning for injuries or marks. When he spotted the scratched wrists a look of pain briefly splashed across his face. 

"Babe", he mumbled and reached for Will's hands. Will let him take them. "Babe what happened? Are you okay?" 

Will nodded. Luke raised his eyebrows at him. Will shook his head.  
"Not really", he mumbled.

"You wanna talk about it?" Luke mumbled and gently squeezed Will's hands. Will shook his head.  
"Okay", Luke whispered. This was new. Luke had rarely ever asked for consent or permission like this and he sure as hell never dropped a subject unless he wanted to. Maybe he really had changed...  
Still, Will didn't feel comfortable with Luke's hands on his. He pulled them away. Luke let him. No raised eyebrows, no snarky comment, no trying to hold on to them. Wow.

Luke gave Will a small smile. "Is there anything I can do for you? Food? Soft blanket?"

Will stared down at his lap. Was he hungry? His stomach growled loudly. That was a yes. Luke chuckled lightly. 

"Food it is", he laughed lightly and stood up. Will heard him leave the living room, his boots heavy on the floorboards. He let out a heavy sigh and let himself fall backwards until his back hit the cushions. He wondered how Nico was doing. He had been strange all day but Will certainly hadn't expected him to explode like that. He hadn't realized what he had been doing was wrong. He hadn't even realized he had been doing it! Getting into Nico's head, he thought he was just getting to know his friend and that they were becoming comfortable around each other! Nico had been the first person in ages he had opened up to like that. And now he regretted it. Deeply. He had just tried to be friends and maybe even a little more, he didn't even know what exactly, and Nico had just gone off at him for... knowing him? Basically? What hurt most was Nico being mad about Will not having made up his mind yet. He thought Nico understood how difficult it was. He thought he knew Nico. But this side of him he had revealed today... Will hadn't expected it. And it hurt. It hurt like a motherfucker.

"Will", Luke quietly said from the doorway. Will jumped in his seat.  
"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you", Luke said, smiling a little. It looked genuine, not like the slightly evil smirk he often wore. Will liked it. Luke held up a plate.  
"Made you a sandwich"

Will sat up a little straighter and wiped away tears he hadn't realized were there.  
"Thanks...", he mumbled. Luke handed him the plate and sat down in the only armchair they had. He watched Will take a few bites, a worried look on his face. Will squirmed under his gaze. Luke noticed.

"Sorry", he mumbled and grabbed his phone to look at that instead. Will was surprised. Luke usually wouldn't take his eyes off of him. Sometimes with that loving look, sometimes lustful, even predatory. Sometimes angry. Cold. Jealous, when they were in public and someone was too close or comfortable with Will for his liking. But he would always be looking. That he averted his gaze now, geez. That meant something.  
Will looked up. Luke was scrolling through his phone, his legs over the armrests. He was using his left foot to push the boot off his left one. His uniform top was unbuttoned and the sleeves were rolled up x exposing his white undershirt and his stitched up forearms. His hair was a mess. He still looked as sick as the day Will had encountered him in the pub. He hadn't shaved in a while. His hair was a mess. Will felt a little bad for him. He chewed on his sandwich. It was exactly the way he liked it. Luke knew him like the back of his hand. Will finished the sandwich in less than two minutes. He hadn't even realized how hungry he had been. When he set the plate down on the coffee table, Luke looked up. 

"You better?" 

Will nodded.

"You want another one?"

Will shook his head. He stared at the stitches on Luke's forearms. 

"How old are these?" He asked. He realized how blunt that was, but he just couldn't be bothered.  
Luke ran a hand over the stitches. 

"The oldest about two days after you left", he said quietly. "The newest a few days"

Will's heart ached. He hadn't meant to hurt Luke like that.  
"I'm sorry", he mumbled. 

Luke gave him a sad smile. "Don't be. I deserve it. I fucked up big time"

Will didn't dare say it out loud but he agreed (that Luke had messed up, not that he deserved physical injuries). He shrugged. His eyes were still fixated on the stitches. The pattern seemed so familiar...  
"Can I... can I see them?" He asked quietly. Luke nodded, swung his legs off the armrests and sat down next to Will. He kept a respectful distance. Who was this new and improved version of Luke?! Will saw him gulp before he held out his forearms for Will to see. Will held his breath as he carefully traced his fingers over the stitched up cuts. Some were fresher, some already had their stitches removed. As mad as Will had been, this pained him. And this unusual pattern... Will only knew one person who gave their stitches a pattern like this. He looked up at Luke, his question practically written across his forehead.

"Yeah", Luke said. "Austin did them"

He knew it! But this just raised more questions. Luke caught on.

"I tried to bandage them and you know I suck at that and I went to the hospital every evening because I thought you were there so I could talk to you. But you weren't there"  
Luke looked really guilty. Will was sure he had been able to put two and two together and figure out why Will hadn't been working.  
"And one night Austin approached me and asked me what the fuck I was doing and I told him we fought and you left and I was worried. He told me you were safe and that I should leave you alone. I think he wanted to send me home but he saw how messed up my arms were and he patched me up. A few times actually"

Will chewed on his lip. He wondered why Austin didn't tell him. He was glad he had taken care of Luke, but why didn't he at least text him or something? He really needed to communicate more with his siblings. At least they seemed to talk to each other and Michael had told them he was safe and staying somewhere else. He made a mental note to call them later. 

"Will?" Luke asked quietly. Will snapped back to reality. 

"Yeah, sorry", he mumbled. He ran his thumb over Luke's wrist once more and them let go. They sat in silence for a moment, Will stared out the window into the evening sun, Luke stared at Will. Will was a little uncomfortable but at the same time, he felt like he was home. 

"So...", he said. The silence made him uneasy. Judging by Luke's face, he felt the same way.  
"How's Ethan?"

"He's good" Luke replied. "Good cop. Good friend. Helped me get sober"

"I'm proud of you for that", Will said quietly. "The sober thing"  
He meant it.

Luke smiled. "Thanks. It's tough. I think if I gave up smoking too, like at the same time, I'd go insane"

Will nodded slowly. "Probably", he mumbled, then turned to Luke. "I think I'm gonna call my siblings, let them know I'm... home. Okay?"

Luke's face lit up at the word 'home'. "Sure", he said. "I'm just gonna watch T.V."

Will nodded. He slowly stood up from the couch and made his way to the bedroom. He called Michael first.

"I'm back at Luke's", he said after a quick greeting.

"Why? Did something happen?"

Will didn't want to have to walk him through the whole fight, so he kept it short: "Nico and I fought. He told me to leave"

Michael was silent for a moment. "Why didn't you come to stay at my place? Or Austin's? Or Kayla's?"  
Luckily, he didn't sound mad. Just worried.  
Will had to actually think about his question for a moment. 

"I don't know", he said reluctantly. "I just walked and ended up here. Guess my gut told me to."

"Do you think you're safe there?"

Will told him about the message Luke had sent him. "And he's been amazing since I got here. I think... I think I'm willing to give him another chance."

Michael let out a heavy sigh. It was obvious he didn't agree.  
"Alright", he said. "But you can always come here, you know that." 

"Yeah, I know. Thanks. Hey, whatat did you tell Austin and Kayla about my... situation?"

"Just that you guys fought and you moved out and wouldn't come to work for a while", Michael replied. "I'm sure they can put the pieces together though"

After a little bit of chitchat, they said their goodbyes. Will tried calling Kayla but, as usual, she didn't answer. She was literally always busy. So, he just sent her a text and called Austin.  
Austin reacted similar to Michael. Will asked him about him stitching up Luke's cuts.

"It's my job" Austin said. Will knew he was shrugging. "And I kinda wanted to keep an eye on him. I know he means a lot to you, even though I fucking hate his guts"

"Ah", Will said. "Well, thanks"

"No prob", Austin said. "I gotta go, my shift starts soon"

"Okay, bye", Will said but Austin had already hung up. 

Will stared out the window for a moment. It took him a few seconds of contemplation but he ended up sending Percy a quick text. He didn't want to call him in case Luke could hear him. And he definitely didn't want to talk to Nico.

'Nico and I fought. He kicked me out. Back at Luke's. Make sure he's okay'

He hit send and sighed deeply. After a moment of just breathing as calmy as possible and staring out the window he put his phone away and went back to the living room. 

Luke looked up from his phone when he entered. The T.V.was running. Will awkwardly sat down on the edge of the couch, leaving space between them. Luke shuffled away from him a little, giving him more space.

“Thanks“, Will mumbled. Luke just flashed him a quick smile. He looked tense.  
“You okay?“ Will asked, even more quietly this time. 

“Yeah...“ Luke rubbed his mouth with the back of his hand. “Usually I'd drink now. Trying to fight the habit, ya know?“

Will nodded, staring at his lap. He felt out of place and at home at the exact same time. And both feelings were equally strong. It was really strange.  
He pulled out his phone, desperate for a distraction. Luke watched him unlock it.

“You got a passcode“, he mumbled. 

“Yeah, I-“

“No, it's okay, I know. I fucked up and you don't trust me anymore“, Luke mumbled.

Will didn't really know how to respond. Luke wasn't wrong, he had gotten a passcode put of spite, to stand up to Luke, just a day after he'd left. He looked up at Luke and fortunately, he didn't look angry. Just sad. Hurt, maybe. He resisted the urge to apologize. No, he told himself, you did nothing wrong. Get your shit together, Solace. 

“Hey, don't feel bad“, Luke said, chuckling lightly. “It's okay, it's okay Will“

He held out an arm, looking unsure. Sort of instinctively, Will leaned into his side. Luke's arm dropped to his side, making sure not to brush his chest. It was like Will could read Luke's mind right now. And Luke had read his. And Will liked it. He liked them understanding each other, knowing what the other felt, thought, wanted. If Nico didn't want that, fine. His problem. Will relaxed against Luke's side. 

Fuck Nico.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like making Will suffer :)


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's my brother's birthday today! Let's all watch Will's life go to shit shall we. Also pleeease give me feedback on how well wills feelings and conflicts are expressed cause I'm kinda insecure about that <3

Will woke up early the next morning with a strong feeling of disorientation. It took him a few seconds of looking around the room and breathing in the faint scent of smoke before he realized where he was. Luke rolled over next to him, still asleep. Will was glad their bed was so big, because he liked having his space. He rolled on his side to face Luke.  
His face was completely at rest. His mouth naturally curved up into a little smile. His scar was bright pink against the tan skin of his cheek. Will reached out and ran his index finger along the scar, barely touching it.  
Luke's eyes fluttered open and Will jerked his hand back. To his surprise, Luke smiled.

“That tickled“, he mumbled, voice hoarse. “What time is it?“

Will propped himself up on one arm to look over Luke at his alarm clock.  
“7:30“ He said. 

“Half an hour till I have to get up“, Luke mumbled. “We got some time to-“  
Suddenly, he seemed to realize and his face dropped. “Sorry. Nevermind“

Will just flashed him a smile. Luke had originally offered to sleep on the couch but Will (a) wanted to return to normality as quickly as possible and (b) didn't want to be an inconvenience. So, Luke and he had shared the bed. At least they had separate blankets. 

“Are you just gonna stay here today?“ Luke asked and cleared his throat to get rid of his early-morning-voice. 

“Yeah, I guess. I'm not cleared to go back to work yet“, Will shrugged or at least tried to because he was still lying on his side.

Luke looked a mix of pained and guilty. “For how long?“, he asked quietly, his eyes avoiding Will's. 

“Four more weeks. And it's gonna hurt for at least half a year“, Will mumbled. He had to admit, he kind of enjoyed watching Luke squirm from guilt. But he was surprised to see a tear roll out of Luke's left eye and down his cheek. Luke choked back a sob. 

“I- I'm sorry“, he whispered. Will didn't say anything. He wouldn't know what to reply. He just watched Luke cry into his pillow. Awkwardly, he gave Luke's shoulder a little pat-pat. Luke smiled weakly. 

“Do you still don't eat breakfast?“ He asked. 

“Sometimes I do“  
While living with Nico and Percy, Will's morning sickness had become a lot better. 

“I could make some“ 

Will shrugged. 

“Or just have some coffee?“

“That sounds better“, Will said quietly. Luke grinned. He pushed the blanket off of him, swung his long legs over the edge of the bed and stretched. Will heard his shoulders crack lightly. He watched him leave the room in only his sweatpants and a loose t-shirt. Sighing loudly, he fell back into the pillow. He had to admit it, he still found Luke really attractive. And he liked being around him when he acted the way he did right now.  
His thought from last night to just forget about Nico still made sense to him. He had hurt him and Will was stubborn about that. Out of spite maybe, he had gone back to Luke and now he liked being back.  
Fuelled by spite he rolled out of bed and pitter-pattered to the kitchen. Luke greeted him with a warm smile and an even warmer cup of coffee. Aww. Will gladly took the mug and sat on the counter, a habit he had adapted from Nico. Luke plopped down at the kitchen table, looking at Will and sipping his coffee. 

“I like it when you wear that“, he said quietly. Will blushed a little. He was in an old orange shirt that belonged to Luke and went down to the middle of his thighs and over his elbows. Most of Will's clothes were still at Nico's, just like his laptop, phone charger and toothbrush. He should probably get that back.  
“Will?“ Luke asked quietly. Will snapped out of his trance. 

“Yeah?“

“Can we-“, Luke visibly gulps, “Can we maybe talk... like, about us?“

Now it was Will's turn to swallow. “Sure... when you get back from work?“

Luke nodded. Will stared into the void of his coffee again. 

“Did you put the spare key back under the doormat?“ Luke asked.

“The what now?“  
Since when did Luke have a spare key? He was paranoid as hell!

“I put a spare key under the doormat in case you'd come back...“

“Oh.“ Will was a little baffled. Luke had really made an effort, hadn't he?  
“No, I used my key“ 

“Okay“, Luke smiled. He was doing that a lot. Smiling. Will wasn't used to it, but he definitely wasn't complaining.

Will stayed in the kitchen with his coffee while Luke showered and got dressed for work. They said their quick goodbyes, then the door fell shut behind him. 

Will checked his phone. No answer from Percy. He wasn't surprised. Percy sucked at texting back. No texts from Nico either. Or his siblings. Suddenly, Will felt very lonely. He felt like all he had was this coffee in his hand and Luke's clothes on his back. And Luke. His recovering-alcoholic-cancer-survivor-mentally-unstable-maybe-still-boyfriend. And a bunch of broken ribs. Who wouldn't want that.  
Will didn't know if he wanted that. But he knew he didn't want to be alone right now, not in this smoke-filled apartment in these clothes that weren't his.

Out of instinct he called Percy. Surprisingly, Percy picked up. He usually wasn't just bad at texting back but also at answering calls.

“Will? Is something wrong?“ Percy asked immediately. 

“No, no Percy, don't worry“, Will assured him, “I just- I just needed to talk to someone, is that okay?“ 

“Sure“, Percy replied, “I'm on the late shift today, I have time to talk. What's wrong?“

“I- I'm just really lonely right now...“ Will supressed a sob. He hadn't realized he was that sad, but apparently he was.

“Don't worry, I'll keep you company“, Percy was smiling, Will could hear it. Then Percy laughed a little. “Oh wow, that sounded like really cheesy flirting“

That made Will laugh. “Yeah it did, don't worry, I appreciate it“

“No homo“, Percy joked, still laughing.

“Percy, I'm gay“, Will laughed. “It's always homo with me“

“True“, Percy wheezed. 

“Speaking of gay, how's Nico doing?“  
Will regretted his question as soon as it had left his mouth. But he wanted to know. He cared about Nico, even if he hurt him. 

“Well...“, Percy cleared his throat. “Uhh...“

“Just tell me, Perce“

“He's bitchy and depressed, doesn't really eat and wears your clothes non-stop... and I think he listened to ukulele music on loop last night“ Percy sounded concerned.

Guilt washed over Will. He had hurt Nico. 

“You know I still don't know what actually happened between you two“

“We fought“, Will mumbled, not really wanting to talk about it.

“Yeah, that I know, but like, details“, Percy insisted. “Nico refuses to talk to me, but last night-“  
He stopped talking. What? What was it?

“Percy...“ Will said, drawing the word out. “What happened last night?“

Silence. 

“Percy!“

Percy sighed and gave up. “Nico had a panic attack last night. I found him on the kitchen floor at one AM, clutching your shirt and saying 'I fucked up' over and over“

Will couldn't answer. He felt like his throat was filled with wet cement.

“Will?“ Percy asked through the phone. “Will stay with me“

He sounded as if he thought Will was dying and honestly, Will kind of agreed. He felt as if he was dying, like the cement in his throat was dripping into his heart and filling up his lungs.  
Nico had had a panic attack because of him. Something he hadn't had in months. But now he did. Because of Will. Will had fucked up, he had fucked up big time and hurt his best friend. 

“Will“, Percy said in a firm voice, “Breathe with me“

Will hadn't even realized he was hyperventilating until Percy said that. He panicked. He needed air!“

“Will!“ Percy pulled im back to reality. “Breathe with me, okay?“ He started breathing loudly and calmy into the phone and Will tried his best to follow along. After a few minutes, he felt better. His hand and feet were no longer tingling. Good.

“Will?“ Percy asked softly.

“Yeah?“ Will's voice was croaky. Breaking.

“It's not your fault. Nico's panic attack. They happen. Especially if you have PTSD. It's not your fault, okay?“

“Nico has PTSD?“ Will hadn't known that. 

“A slight one, yeah“, Percy said in a quiet voice. “He's recovering. But of course, there are always bad days. He's close to healthy again, we think. He doesn't like to see doctors about it, so he stopped going to therapy as soon as he learned to kinda deal with his triggers, you know?“

“Yeah, that sounds like Nico“, Will smiled to himself a little. “He never told me he had PTSD“

“He doesn't really talk about it. Ever“, Percy snorted.

“You think it's okay for you to tell me?“ Will asked.

“I honestly don't know“, Percy admitted. “But I don't give a shit, you deserve to know. You're family“

Will choked back a sob. A happy little sob. Percy had called him family before, but this time it got to him.

“Hey man, you okay?“ Percy asked.

“Yeah“, Will laughed a little. “Yeah, I'm fine“

“Okay“, Percy laughed. Will liked his laugh, it always made him laugh, too.  
“Hey, want me to bring your stuff over?“ Percy offered. “I could stop by on my way to work“

“That'd be awesome, actually“, Will laughed. He was glad to get his things back. He was practically stuck at Luke's place without work and he wanted his laptop. “But I don't want to be an inconvenience to you“

“Don't you dare call yourself an inconvenience“, Percy said sternly. “What do you need?“

“Uhh“, Will scratched his head. “My laptop and chargers, my ukulele... my toothbrush and pain meds. Some clothes“

“Alright“, Percy was grinning, Will could practically hear it. “I'm going to hang up now, collect your stuff and I'll call you when I'm leaving here because I need directions, okay?“

“Okay“, Will smiled. 

“'Maybe okay will be our always'“, Percy joked. Will laughed. “Okay, see ya“

“Bye“

Click.

Will laughed to himself for a few more minutes. He liked Percy. So much. It was like another big brother, but without having to fight over the last piece of cake. Though that only was because Nico somehow managed to always get the last slice, it was his superpower. Nico. Will hadn't realized how much he missed him until he thought about him. He missed his crooked smile, the scent of pomegranate, his hair tickling him at night, the ink stains left on his skin... Just Nico. But thinking of him also hurt. It hurt like hell. And going back just didn't feel like an option. 

Percy called a few minutes later and Will directed him to the apartment. Less than a minute after Percy hung up the call, there was a knock on the door. Will practically ran to the door and as soon as he opened, Percy was hugging him. Not too tight and without touching his chest, though. Percy was great. 

“Hey, Aquaman“, Will laughed as he pulled away. 

“Hey, buddy, I got your shit“ Percy held up a duffel bag. 

“Just set it down on the kitchen counter“, Will pointed into the kitchen. Percy nodded, pushed past him and carefully placed it on the counter. Then he stopped to look around the room and sniffed the air.

“Did you guys burn a body in here or something?“

“Luke smokes“, Will sighed. 

“Ah“, Percy replied. He turned towards Will again. “How are you feeling?“

Will shrugged. He swallowed back tears. “Okay, I guess“

Percy raised his eyebrows. “You are so not okay“

“No, I'm not“, Will choked out, then he burst into tears. 

“Oh, no no no no“, Percy mumbled. He stepped closer and opened his arms. Will stumbled into them, melting against Percy's chest and burying his face in his shoulder.  
“Shhh“, Percy whispered and lightly rubbed Will's back. “S'okay. I'm here, it's okay“

“S-sorry, I'm such a m-mess“, Will sobbed. Percy laughed a little.

“Aren't we all? Don't worry about, okay? Don't worry about it“

Will nodded lightly and kept sobbing. He just let it all out. The pain, the worry, the sadness, the anger, he let it all out. And Percy just held him and Will breathed in his scent of chlorine and shaving cream and cried and cried and cried. 

“Shit, aren't you late for work?“ He suddenly realized and pulled away. Percy made an 'oh shit' face for a second, then relaxed again.

“So what. This is a family emergency“

Will looked down at his feet and smiled, a little flustered. 

“Can I do anything to help you feel better?“  
Percy held him by the shoulders at arms length. Will shrugged.

“C'mon, buddy, help me out“, Percy lightly shook Will. Will forced himself to smile.

“It's okay, I'm fine“, he said, hoping to sound convincing. He didn't want to be any more of a burden than he already was. 

Percy raised his eyebrows. “You sure?“

Will nodded. “Yeah. And you gotta get to work“

“Hmm. You've got a point“  
He didn't sound convinced. Will walked him to the door and he let him. But before he left, he pulled him into another hug.

“I love you, Will, okay? Take care of yourself“, he whispered.

Will smiled into his shoulder. It felt good to hear that someone loved him and wanted him to take care of himself. He didn't really tell himself anything nice, so this was a rare feeling.  
“Love you, too“, he mumbled and Percy gave him another light squeeze, before letting go. 

“Call me if you need anything. Stuff, a friend, someone to pick you up, anything. Okay? I'm here for you“, he told Will firmly.

Will nodded. “Thanks, Perce“

Percy smiled and ruffled his hair. Then he turned around and suddenly, the door was closed behind him and Will was alone again.

 

Luke came home in the late afternoon, which was quite early for him. 

“Will?“, he asked as soon as he walked through the front door.

“In here“, Will called back from the bedroom. In less than a second Luke entered the room. 

“Hey“, he greeted him, leaning against the door frame. That small gesture made Will's heart sting.

“Hey“, he answered, running his hand through his hair.

Luke shrugged off his jacket.  
“You eaten yet?“, he asked as he unbuttoned his uniform shirt. Will shook his head.  
“We could cook together and then maybe talk a little“, Luke was now in his boxers and undershirt. He grabbed his sweatpants.  
“You know, about us“

Will didn't really feel like doing that. Not at all. He'd rather eat a raw egg, shell and everything. But maybe talking things out with Luke could bring some structure into the mess his life and heart were. So, he agreed. 

They decided on making pasta, mostly because there weren't a lot of options with what was in the fridge. Luke was whistling along to the radio while cutting vegetables, something Will hadn't seem him do in years. After some initial nervousness, he joined in, quietly singing along. After a few lines, he realized Luke had stopped cutting and was looking at him.

“What?“ Will asked nervously. A smile appeared on Luke's face.

“I love it when you sing“, he said quietly. Will turned away, blushing. Luke used to snap at him for singing, claiming that it was annoying. He was glad Luke liked it now. He started singing again, a little louder this time and Luke joined in, his voice breaking and off key but neither of them minded. 

Towards the end of their meal, Luke cleared his throat and adressed the topic Will knew they had both been dreading.

“Uh, so. Us.“

“Yeah...“  
Will stared down at his food.

Silence. 

“Okay, I'm just gonna go ahead and get it out“, Luke took a deep breath. “I'm in love with you and I want us to be okay again. I'll do anything to fix my mistakes, I promise-“, he seemed to choke on his words.

Will looked up to see Luke blink away tears. It made something stir inside him, something he hadn't felt in a long time. Reluctantly, he reached across the table and wiped away the single tear that had escaped Luke's eye. Luke leaned into his touch a little and Will left his hand on his face for a little too long before pulling it away. Luke took another deep, shaky breath and continued speaking.

“I beat myself up everyday since I first hurt you and I kept hoping you'd stick around but then I fucked up too badly and you left... so I knew I had to change. I threw out all the booze I had and turned to Ethan for help and I got myself stitched up so it'd heal... and I just want you back“, he was sobbing now,  
“You're the love of my life and I can't live without you and I'm sorry I'm such a fuck up and I know you don't want me back-“  
He buried his head in his hands and cried into his pasta. 

Will stared at him. The stirring inside him intensified and he suddenly realized what it was: the feelings he had for Luke. He thought they were long gone, at some point he even thought he hated him but now it was crystal clear. The Luke he had fallen in love with was back. And Will still loved him.

Will hadn't realized how long he had been staring at nothing, shocked by his sudden realization, until Luke looked up.

“Say something“, he whispered hoarsely, tears streaming down his face. “I don't want us to be over, Will“

“I - I dont, either“, Will mumbled, barely audible. A few days ago he had never imagined himself doing this, but right now it felt right. It felt good, like it was was he meant to do. 

“Please tell me you don't hate me“, Luke whimpered. He wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his sweatshirt. 

“I don't“, Will whispered. He hated seeing Luke like this. He needed to make him stop crying, this was his boyfriend over there, in tears! Will shakily reached out and took Luke's hand, squeezing it lightly. “I... I love you“

Luke looked up at him, his lips twisting into a wide smile. Then he burst into tears again.  
“You can't mean that“, he sobbed. “I fucked up too bad, too often“

“No, it's okay“, Will heard himself say. “We can fix this. It was just a bad time... but I'm not going to throw five years away“

“Six“, Luke mumbled' “Almost six years“

Will didn't know how to answer, so he just squeezed Luke's hand again. 

“Are you really going to give us another chance?“ Luke laid his hands on Will's, completely covering it. 

Will nodded. He usually followed his gut, but his gut seemed to be confused. He didn't know whether this was what he really wanted. But he knew he still had feelings for Luke, he knew Luke had changed, he knew he didn't want to be alone. And Nico... Nico had hurt him. Nico hadn't been by his side for almost six years, Nico hadn't been the one to help him come out. He hadn't gone through cancer with Nico. Nico was his best friend and Will had definitely gotten confused about his feelings for a while. But that was it. He needed to get his life back together, needed to fix his relationship and needed to forget whatever his small affair might have meant. He had to do this.

“Yes“, he whispered and Luke looked at him with such affection Will's gut was almost content with what he had just done. 

“Thank you for not hating me“, Luke whispered. Will did his best to warmly smile at him. This was the right thing to do, he reminded himself. This is okay.  
“I think we're done with dinner“, Luke mumbled. Will nodded. He definitely didn't feel like eating. Luke slowly got up and began clearing the table and putting away the leftovers as Will stared at the table, wondering what the hell he had gotten himself into.


	25. Chapter 25

Will quickly escaped the kitchen after Luke had offered to do the dishes and sat on the balcony with his ukulele. He couldn't bring himself to play it though, so the instrument just laid in his lap. Sighing, he rested his back against the window behind him, the glass cool through his shirt. He resisted the urge to call someone and talk about what just happened. But he couldn't. He didn't really talk to Austin and Kayla these days, Nico of course wasn't an option. Michael and Percy would be worried or maybe even disappointed. He couldn't deal with that right now. They wouldn't understand that he needed to do this, that this was right. And yet, he was scared. Terrified. It's just nerves, he told himself. You've been a mess recently. A lot has happened. It'll be okay. 

Still, he craved comfort. Physical and emotional comfort, someone telling him that everything would be alright, someone holding him. He stared out into the city for a few seconds, then suddenly scrambled to his feet. The ukulele fell to the ground with a 'clong' sound. Will hoped it wasn't broken but didn't bother checking, instead he stumbled inside and to the kitchen. Luke was just drying a pot and turned around in surprise when Will shuffled into the kitchen and made a bee line over to him, wrapping his arms around Luke's waist and burying his face in his chest.

“Woah“, Luke laughed and put down the pot and dishtowel, hugging Will back. “You okay?“

Will shook his head and dug his fingers into Luke's back, breathing in his scent of sweat, smoke and his cologne. He felt Luke kiss the top of his head.   
“Just a rough couple of weeks?“, he whispered.  
Will nodded. Luke pulled him in closer, his fingers tracing imaginary patterns on Will's skin.  
“Don't worry“, he whispered. “I'll always be there“

 

After a few minutes of silence and warmth, Will detached himself from Luke.

“Sorry“, he mumbled, running a hand through his hair. “I'm a mess“

Luke placed a kiss on his forehead, smiling.   
“You're my mess. I'll fix it“

Will just nodded, suddenly very exhausted.   
“I think“, he mumbled, “I think I'm gonna go to bed“  
His chest felt hollow.

“Okay“, Luke kissed his forehead again, then turned back to the pot. “I'll be right with you“

Will dragged himself to the bedroom and dropped on the bed, groaning loudly, face buried in a pillow. This was all too much. But he had made his choice. Slowly, he tugged off his jeans to get ready for bed. His phone fell out of his back pocket and he picked it up, unlocking it. Before he knew it, he had changed Percy's and Nico's contacts to aliases again. Better to keep things normal. He couldn't risk fighting with Luke. It was too draining, too dangerous. And unnecessary. They loved each other, didn't they? So why start a fight. He was fixing this. It was going to be okay. 

 

When Luke slipped into bed next to him a little later, Will pretended to be asleep. Luke quietly got comfortable, pushing around pillows and pulling at the sheets before finally settling in. Will heard him utter his name and when he didn't answer, Luke edged closer until he was able to wrap an arm around Will, staying clear of his chest and resting his arm on Will's hips instead. Will tried his best to relax. He didn't know why this made him nervous, but it did. So what. Rough couple of weeks. Why wouldn't he feel weird. This had nothing to do with Luke. This was going to be fine.

The next morning was a Saturday. Luke had the weekends off and Will suddenly realized this when he woke up with Luke's arms still around him. At first, he panics. His arm was touching his chest!   
No, he told himself, this is Luke. You love him. If Nico could touch you, so can he. Get over it.   
To distract himself, he rolled over, facing Luke. Luke was still asleep, his face completely at rest, stubble on his cheeks. The jagged scar across his face was almost invisible now that Luke was getting a little more tan. Will reached up and trailed his index finger along the pink line, the bumps the stitches had left, the small tic it had left in his cheek. Luke's eyes fluttered open and Will jerked back. He hadn't meant to wake him. Luke, however, didn't seem bothered. He wrapped his arms around Will a little tighter, pulling him in until their chests were almost touching. Will held his breath.   
For some reason, he had expected to wake up to the scent of pomegranates, to Nico's hair tickling him and to the sound of traffic outside their window. He had a hard time getting that out of his head, it seemed. But he had to. Nico was over. He was back where he belonged. 

Luke seemed to agree. He buried his face in the crook of Will's neck. Will could feel his breath and could tell he was awake. 

“Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up“, he mumbled. Luke pressed a small kiss to his neck. Will could feel him smile. He shivered.

“Don't worry about it“, Luke whispered. He was tracing imaginary patterns on Will's back again. Will relaxed a little, melting into Luke's embrace until their chests were pressed together. Luke softly kissed his neck again. And again. Soon, Will's cheeks were burning and he didn't know whether it was from the body heat or from Luke's lips on his skin. He could tell Luke was enjoying himself from the way he was pressing himself against Will's thigh. To his surprise, he didn't take it very far, quickly pulling away and resting his forehead against Will's. 

“I'm so glad you're back“, he whispered, his eyes closed. Will leaned in, smiling, and placed a small kiss on Luke's lips. Luke gasped a little and suddenly, his hand was on the back on the back of Will's head and he pulled him, kissing him. Something erupted in Will's chest and he kissed him back, letting Luke press himself against him. It was only when Luke's hand made it's way down to Will's ass that he pulled away.   
Luke didn't stop him. He rolled onto his back, holding Will close to his side, both breathing heavily. Will looked up at him and saw him smile. He watched Luke stare at the ceiling with a warm feeling in his chest and a smile on his lips. 

“Do you want me to make breakfast?“ He asked, his voice a little husky. Luke turned his head towards him, still smiling an unusually warm smile.

“Actually, I have an idea for breakfast“

 

Half an hour later, Will and Luke were standing in front of a small cafe a few streets over. Cursive letters above the door read 'Cabin Nr. 10'. Inside, wooden tables with comfortable looking chairs were spread across the room, accompanied by couches along the walls. And flowers. A lot of flowers. In vases on the tables, in big pots beside the couches. Some were even hanging in pots from the ceiling. As Will looked around the room in amazement, appreciating the beautiful decor like the gay boy he was, a dark haired lady approached them. She was wearing a white apron with her jeans and t-shirt and had a dish towel slung over her shoulder.

“Hey, Silena!“ Luke greeted her and she pulled him into a quick hug. 

“Castellan!“ She smiled and rested her hands on her hips. Will felt a small pang of jealousy. This girl was beautiful with her piercing blue eyes and lean figure. And he knew Luke could have anyone, boy, girl, whatever. Naturally, he was a little proud when Luke wrapped an arm around his shoulders and introduced him as his boyfriend.   
“Nice to meet you! I'm Silena“, she greeted Will just as sweetly as she had greeted Luke.   
“C'mon your favorite table is free“, she winked at Luke and nodded towards a small table by the window. Luke flashed her a warm smile (he seemed  to smile like that a lot nowadays) and guided Will to the table with his arm still around his shoulders. Silena looked after them for a second then she straightened out her apron and tended to her other customers. 

Will stared at her from his seat. Luke chuckled beside him and ran his thumb over Will's knuckles. 

“Baby, are you jealous?“

Luke calling him baby did something to Will, made something twist in his chest. He didn't know whether it was good or bad. 

“No“, he mumbled, now staring at the flowers on their table. Hyacinths. He liked them. Luke chuckled again. 

“Sure you aren't“ 

Will tried to pull his hand away, pouting, but Luke wouldn't let him. He lifted it up to his lips and pressed small kisses onto the knuckles, then let go. Will flashed him a small smile, blushing. 

Silena appeared again.   
“Hey boys, what are you having?“

Will zoned out. He always let Luke do the ordering, he was better with people and he knew what Will wanted. And he knew this place better than Will did, anyway. He tried his best to ignore the friendly banter between Luke and Silena, jealousy twisting his stomach. Luke had a tendency to flirt with almost anyone he talked to and Will had seen all the pictures of his exes, who were all more attractive than him for sure. 

Luke's hand on his thigh pulled him back to reality. When he turned back to the table, Silena was gone. Will let out a sigh of relief. Luke noticed.

“You ARE jealous!“

Will shrugged. He clamped his hand over Luke's, keeping it in place. Luke chuckled. 

“Babe, she's married. I met her and her husband a while ago on duty. Breaking and entering. Ethan and I caught the guy“  
Luke rubbed Will's thigh lightly.  
“I was here a lot while you were gone“

“Huh“, was all Will could reply. Luke squeezed his thigh. 

“Aww, c'mon, you know I love you“

Will sighed and ran his thumb over Luke's hand.   
“I know“

“And?“

“And I love you too“

Luke chuckled again and leaned over to kiss his cheek. Will smiled weakly. He began looking around the room again, focussing on the other guests this time. Most of them his gaze just swept over, not noticing anything in particular, but then he spotted the familiar sight of a Ramones t-shirt. Instantly, he thought of Nico and his something in his chest felt heavy. Reminder of Nico seemed to be everywhere today, from the motorcycles on the street, over the smell of coffee, to the pomegranates he had spotted in the shopping bag of a stranger they had passed by on the street. Nico was everywhere and Will hated the way it made him feel. The Ramones shirt guy noticed him staring and gave him a weird look. Will quickly averted his gaze. He needed to get Nico out of his head, so he leaned over to press a kiss to Luke's cheek. Focus on these feelings, not the other ones, he told himself. It seemed to work a little and he was able to push Nico to the back of his mind as he listened to Luke telling him stories from work.

Silena arrived with whatever Luke had ordered for them a few minutes later, just when Luke had told Will about the time Ethan had almost lost an eye while trying to arrest a guy for illegally owning a chimpanzee and trying to teach it to pick pockets. Silena laughed.

“I remember that day“, she said and wiped her hands on her apron. “Ethan was so proud of himself“

Luke laughed. “Yeah, so was I“

Silena opened her mouth to say something else but the phone behind the counter rang. She excused herself and hurried over, gracefully managing not to run into any tables, chairs or dogs of guests. 

“She's great, I love her“, Luke laughed and began arranging the bowls and plates on the table. 

“I guess“, Will mumbled and stared at the fruit and yoghurt Luke had set in front of him. Luke always knew exactly what he liked.

“Babe, she's married. Her husband is an amazing guy“, Luke said beside him. Oh shit, was he annoyed? Will hadn't meant to annoy him! Shit, shit, shit...

“Sorry“, he mumbled and began picking at his fruit. Luke didn't reply, he just gave Will's thigh a light squeeze. 

 

Later, on their way home, Will stared at his feet as he walked, clutching Luke's arm so he could pull him along. It wasn't because he was still worried he might have gotten on Luke's nerves, no, it was because as soon as he looked up, Nico was around him. A motorcycle passing by. A swirly tattoo on someone's forearm. The long black hair of a stranger, almost blowing into Will's face. Nico was everywhere. And Will couldn't handle it. He just couldn't. By the time they had reached their apartment, tears were streaming down his face. It took a total of four days of Will and Luke being back together for Luke to start drinking again.  
He came home a little later than usual and in a terrible mood. As soon as the door fell shut behind him, he groaned loudly and slammed his fist against the wall. Will jumped in his seat on the couch. 

“Luke?“ He nervously called out. In the hallway, Luke groaned again and loudly kicked his boots off. Will ran a hand through his hair and stood up. Before he even made it into the hallway, Luke was in the living room. Will almost bumped into him, but quickly jumped back. Luke's angry aura, the one Will had gotten so used to he had been surprised not to have seen it sooner, it was back. Will's heart was pounding painfully hard against his ribcage. He was frozen in his spot, staring up at Luke, not daring to make a sound.   
Don't hit me, don't hit me, don't hit me! Was all he could think.   
When Luke raised his hand, Will automatically flinched, ducking away and squeezing his eyes shut. He expected a slap or punch. But nothing came.

“Hey“, Luke cooed. His hand landed on Will's cheek, gently turning his head so Will would look at him. Will opened his eyes. Luke's expression had changed. He didn't look angry anymore, more like he was sorry. Will let out the air he had been holding in. Luke ran his thumb over his cheekbone.   
“I'm sorry babe, I didn't mean to scare you“, he whispered and softly kissed Will's forehead. Will relaxed a little.  
“It was just a shitty day“

“It's okay“, Will mumbled. Luke smiled softly and kissed his forehead again, then pulled Will into a hug. Will flinched a little when his chest hit Luke's, but didn't say anything. Luke rested his chin on top of Will's head and traced imaginary patterns on his back again.   
“I need a shower...“, he mumbled after a few moments. He pulled away and looked Will in the eye. “You joining me?“

Will nodded. Partly because he didn't want to make Luke's bad mood even worse, partly because he craved to be touched. Mostly out of spite. He hated how much he had flinched at the sudden chest-to-chest-contact. 

Luke kept his respectful distance as they got undressed in the bathroom. He quickly got rid of his uniform and stood there in his boxers, watching Will slowly take off his jeans. It took Will some mental effort to expose his chest and he squirmed under Luke's gaze as he peeled off his shirt. Luke gave him one last look, then turned around, slipped off his underwear and stepped into the shower. Will took a deep breath and followed. 

Luke did not keep his respectful distance now. How could he, with the shower only being the standard shower stall size - which was 36 by 36 inches (Will didn't know why he knew that).   
Their thighs were touching, Luke's shoulder was pressed against Will's from behind. Will felt strange. He wasn't uncomfortable, this was his boyfriend, afterall. He just wasn't used to being around Luke, that was all. 

Luke reached around from behind, grabbing a bottle of shower gel. Will couldn't help but shiver, when Luke's chest brushed against his back, his breath tickling the shell of his ear. Will looked down and watched him poor the bright blue shower gel in his hand, then felt him move away a little so he could rub it on himself. 

“You too?“ Luke mumbled. 

“Hmm?“

“Soap. Shall I soap you up?“ 

“Sure“, Will felt better now that Luke was in a better mood. “Soap me up“

He didn't realize what that meant until Luke clamped a soapy hand onto his stomach and started rubbing, leaving bubbles all over his skin. He gasped. Luke chuckled behind him, moving a little so the water hit just between them. Will's chest and stomach felt a little cold without it, so Luke's hand actually felt pleasant. Nice and warm. Luke left small kisses on Will's shoulder, his fingers rubbing small circles onto his hip bones. Will suddenly was very aware of the physical effect it was having on both of them. 

Luke was pressing himself against Will's lower back, his hand brushing over Will whenever he completed another circle. Will shivered every time, suppressing small moans. He closed his eyes and let his head fall back against Luke's shoulder, the water hitting his cheek. He let his mind wander as Luke slowly reached down and started touching him. Suddenly, an image crossed his mind and struck Will like lightning: Nico, laying beneath him, shirtless, his skin glistening with sweat, eyes closed and cheeks flushed. 

Will froze, his eyes snapping open. 

“Hey, what's wrong?“ Luke asked from behind him, his hand stopping. 

Will blinked a few times, trying to get the memory of Nico out of his mind. He needed to get over him. Focus on Luke.   
“I- I love you“, he whispered hoarsely. Luke chuckled lightly and suddenly, his hands were moving, spinning Will around and pushing him against the cool tiles. 

“I love you more“, he smirked, kissed Will and then dropped to his knees as if to prove it. Will didn't complain. He was busy trying to keep Nico out of his head.

 

Luke stepped out of the shower first, leaving Will to wash his hair and catch his breath in peace. He ran his hands through his hair in slow motion, massaging the shampoo in. His heart was still pounding. He had to give that to Luke, the guy knew how to suck a dick. Even if he wasn't the man Will had thought of when coming. With burning cheeks, Will rinsed his hair. He was ashamed. He needed to forget Nico, but it was hard. He still hadn't texted or called and Will really hoped he wouldn't. 

When Will walked into the living room later on, dressed in fresh clothes, his hair still damp, he found Luke in front of the television, sipping a beer. Huh? 

“Thought you gave up drinking“, he mumbled and sat next to him. Luke held out an arm and Will snuggled into his side. 

“Just this one beer“, Luke uttered and took another sip. “Don't worry about it“

“Hmm“, Will hummed, picking at the seams of Luke's old ass shirt. 

“Hey“ Luke turned his head and kissed Will's temple. “It's fine, I have it under control“

“Uh-huh“ Will tugged at Luke's shirt, not with any sexual intention, just to keep his hands busy. 

“Babe“, Luke said in that special voice that always made Will shiver, in both a good and a bad way. “It's fine. Okay?“

Will just shrugged, unusually stubborn. Luke sighed loudly and set his beer down on the coffee table. He turned to face Will, his hands on each side of his face. 

“It's. Fine.“

Will stared back as intensely as he could. Luke grabbing his face was really similar to Nico grabbing his face, he suddenly realized. Quick, focus on Luke! Forget Nico! Will jerked, gripping Luke's shirt and pulling him in for a kiss. Luke kissed him back eagerly, his hands hot and rough against Will's skin. 

“Jesus, baby boy“ Luke uttered after he pulled away. Will's blood froze in his veins.

There it was again. Baby boy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like silena and most characters from the first season in general are underappreciated af and I'm toying with the idea of writing a fanfic with just the first series characters  
> Opinions?


	26. Chapter 26

The first week and a half after the beer incident was uneventful. Luke left every morning at the same time and returned in the evening. They ate together in the evening. Will still couldn't play his ukulele without wanting to cry. Luke had a beer or two every evening, nothing more, nothing less. Will worried about it, but didn't say anything. 

On Wednesday, he called Percy again. They hadn't talked since Will had called over a week ago, apart from the occasional 'you doing okay?' text. 

“Will, my boy!“ Percy greeted him when he answered the call. Will had been lucky, Percy seemed to have realized his phone was ringing for once.

“Hey Perce“, Will greeted him with a smile. He had missed Percy. He also missed Nico, but refused to admit it. 

“How you doing?“   
Will could tell Percy was concerned.

“Okay, I guess...“, Will mumbled. “You?“

“Pretty busy with like moving, work, all that“

“How's Nico?“ Will asked quietly. He was a little afraid of the answer. He had tried to suppress the guilt of having send Nico into a panic attack by leaving for a while now. It didn't really work.

Percy sighed.  
“I'm going to be honest with you Will, I think you really hurt him. I only know parts of what happened but I think... you should talk it out. Maybe apologize. I know feelings are hard but hurting people is not cool, okay?“

“Okay“, Will replied quietly. Nothing Percy had said had come as a surprise, in fact he had known he had messed up ever since he left. But he had suppressed it. Dealing with it had been scary and he hadn't known how. Communication wasn't something he knew how to do. Especially not in relationships. 

“You okay?“ Percy asked. “Sorry dude, but that needed to be said“

“Yeah, I know, I know“  
Will was pretty sure that he had only not taken Percy's words as an attack because it was Percy. Percy had never tried to hurt him. Anything could be used as a weapon, Will knew that, but not by Percy. Percy he could trust. Percy was family. So is Nico, a voice in his head whispered. And you messed that up. Shut up, Will thought. The voice was right though.  
“So, how's the moving going?“ He asked.

“Pretty good“, Percy replied in a more cheerful voice. “Annabeth will be here in a few days and then we can check out the house. As far as I know, it's pretty neat. Lots of space, a little backyard. A bathtub! I haven't had a bathtub since I moved out of my mom's place!“

Will laughed a little. Percy's good mood was infectious and he was glad his friend was this enthusiastic about having a bathtub. 

They talked some more about bathtubs, Percy's work, ukulele and what being gay was all about until Percy had to hang up because his shift was starting. 

“Will“, he added after they had already said goodbye. “If it gets bad again, you can always come back. Even if you and Nico aren't okay. You're safe here“

Before Will could reply, Percy had hung up. Will stared at the wall for a second. 

The guilt of hurting Nico was strong, but his fear of confrontation, rejection and feelings in general was stronger. Once again, he neglected to call Nico and talk things out. After two minutes of blank staring, Will decided he needed to get out. Get some air, some space, some distraction. 

He ended up going to Silena's cafe again, for several reasons. One, because it was close, two, because the food was nice and he was hungry and three, because the place had been approved by Luke. Going there wouldn't cause a fight. 

Silena actually remembered him. She greeted him with open arms and a kiss on each cheek, then gave him a really nice table at the window. Will sat there, reading his book, the sun shining in his face, enjoying a bagel and a tea. He felt unusually calm. It was like his bad feelings had been left at home and the big window was shielding him from them in case they had somehow followed him.   
Halfway through the bagel, Silena sat down with him. Will looked down in surprise and she gave him a warm smile.

“I hope you don't mind“, she said. “I just wanted to chat“

“I don't mind at all“, Will smiled and put down his book. 

“What are you reading?“ She asked, sounding genuinely interested.

“It's called Call Me By Your Name. A love story“, Will took a sip of his tea. Strawberry. Very nice. 

“Oh, I love romance novels!“ Silena clapped her hands. “If they are well written. Can you recommend it?“

Will noticed, then spotted a guest raising his hand. When he informed Silena, she laughed. 

“Thanks, but I'm on my lunch break. My husband Charlie is helping me out today“  
She motioned towards the counter, where Will spotted a broad, dark skinned man in an orange t-shirt and an apron. 

“Oh. How long have you been married?“

“Almost four years“, she replied, a huge smile on her face. Will wished he could smile like that when talking about his relationship.   
“Got together when we were fifteen. Best years of my life“

“That's lovely“, Will smiled and took another sip. “Do you and Charlie own the cafe together?“

“No“, she laughed. “Charlie is a mechanic. The cafe is my baby. One of my waitresses is sick today, so he's helping me out. I helped him out in the shop the other day. He is the one doing most of the flower-care-taking“

“There are a lot of flowers“, Will agreed.

“Aren't they beautiful?“

He nodded. She began telling him about each and every one of them and Will listened with great interest, while eating his bagel and sipping his tea.   
He stayed longer at Cabin Nr. 10 than he had intended to, until late afternoon. Silena had stopped by for little chats even after her lunch break had ended, Will had read his book and sipped several kinds of tea and not once had he thought about his troubling relationship, his guilt or his aching ribs. It had been heaven. But now, it was time to go home. Luke would be back from work soon and Will wanted them to eat together like they always did. 

He left Silena a huge tip and she flashed him a small smile on his way out. It was only a ten minute walk back to his apartment and when Will arrived there, Luke's car was already parked out front. Oh no. Will clutched his book to his chest and hurried up the stairs to their apartment.

He heard the voices before he smelt the food. He found Luke and Ethan sitting in the kitchen, watching two pizzas baking in the oven. 

“Hey babe“, Luke greeted him. He lightly slapped his thigh. “Sit“

Will shuffled over and sat on his lap. Thank god, Luke did not seem angry. Will relaxed a little. Luke picked up his beer and conversation with Ethan again. His hand rested heavily on Will's thigh. Will listened half-heartedly, but quickly trailed off.

His conversation with Percy crossed his mind again. Immediately, the guilt returned. He hadn't meant to hurt Nico. He meant so much to him, he hadn't meant to mess that up! He just hoped Nico was doing okay. He trusted Percy to take good care of his friend. Until Will would be able to fix it. Somehow. Someday. When the thought of Nico would no longer make him want to cry because he missed him so much. 

The oven beeped, signalling the food was ready. Will was ready to stand up, but Luke tightened his grip on his thigh. 

“Don't you worry about it“, he mumbled in his ear. “I'll do it“

Will nodded. Luke took his hand away, allowing him to stand up. As soon as Luke had shuffled around him, he laid his hand on his shoulder, pushing him back down. Will sat. 

“Isn't he a great guy?“ Ethan asked as Will watched Luke turn off the oven and grab an oven mitt.

“Yeah“, he mumbled. Luke turned around and winked at him. Will managed a smile. He was emotionally exhausted to the point where feelings in general were not what he wanted right now. He reached for Luke's beer just to have something to hold on to. 

“So you guys have been together for almost six years now, right?“   
Ethan probably just wanted to make conversation because he and Will had barely ever talked. 

“Yeah, our anniversary is in...“ Will thought for a brief moment, “Two weeks. Two weeks and one day“

Ethan nodded. “That's nice“

“Babe, on that day, I am taking you out!“ Luke called over his shoulder as he reached for plates in the cupboards. 

Will laughed a little. He was doing his best to cheer up. He didn't want to be sad all the time. It was exhausting. Was that how Nico felt? No, he told himself. Don't think about Nico now. Focus on Luke. His eyes were burning holes into Luke's back, that's how hard he was staring. 

“Honey, we should show Ethan the album“, Luke said as he turned around, a huge smile on his face. “Go get it, okay?“

Will nodded and scurried out of the kitchen. The album was a good idea. It would help him focus. He dug it out of the bookshelf in the living room and when Ethan and Luke entered with pizza and plates, he had managed to pull it out from under a stack of comic books. 

“So what's this?“ Ethan asked when Will dropped it on the coffee table with a bang.

“Careful“, Luke chuckled. “That thing is valuable“  
He handed Will a plate with a slice of pizza.  
“It's the first four years of our relationship“, he explained. Ethan nodded eagerly.

“Show me!“

Luke motioned for Will to sit on his other side, inhaled half his slice of pizza, wiped his hands on his pants and grabbed the album. Will chewed on his pizza, his shoulder and thigh pressed against Luke's. He knew what the first pages showed and emotionally prepared himself. 

Luke opened the thick album and cleared his throat. The first page simply said  
'Will + Luke 2011 - 2015' with two red lipstick kisses underneath. That had been Luke's idea, putting on lipstick. That night had been a messy one. Will barely registered that Luke was telling Ethan just that. Ethan laughed. Luke pressed a greasy kiss to Will's cheek and turned the page.

“That's how we met“, Luke said. 

Ethan snorted. 

“No, seriously“, Luke laughed a little. “It was my first day of the job...“

As Ethan listened closely, Will stared at the picture. Sixteen year old Will had no idea what was about to happen. Falling in love with an older guy. Coming out in high school and losing all his friends. Luke getting cancer. Moving out as soon as he graduated and losing touch with his parents. Luke hitting him. Meeting Nico-  stop it. Focus on Luke. 

Luke and Ethan flipped through the pages, occasionally biting into their pizza or kissing Will's cheek (that was just Luke though). Will looked at himself on dates, wearing Luke's clothes at school, sneaking out at night. 

“That was prom“, Luke explained, regarding a picture of Will in a suit, sitting on Luke's lap on a park bench. “His prom. I wasn't there because of the age gap and shit. I picked him up afterwards“

“So who was your date then?“ Ethan asked. 

“My sister“, Will said. Kayla had looked beautiful in her yellow dress. She had always been the one to help Will sneak out. He missed her. He made a mental note to call her as soon as possible. 

Luke and Ethan had flipped some more. Will's graduation, Luke's scar, their first apartment, chemotherapy. 

“Wow, man, you look like shit“, Ethan mumbled. Luke traced a finger over the photo. He had always been insecure about his chemo pics. Will was surprised he was even showing them to Ethan. The two of them must be close, he guessed. 

More pictures were looked at, pizza was eaten and jokes were made over the course of the evening. Will ended up zoning out completely - that had happened a lot to him recently. He barely even noticed Ethan saying goodbye to him and Luke walking him to the door. He was pretty sure Luke said something to him about the dishes or maybe the album or something. He couldn't tell. Luke must have just given up. He ended up carrying Will to bed, where Will finally came to his senses again. 

He climbed out from under the covers to brush his teeth and when he returned, Luke was sitting on the bed, phone in hand, just wearing his underwear. He watched Will make his way to the closet to put on his sleepwear, an old NYPD shirt. 

“Are you okay?“ 

Will couldn't tell if Luke was genuinely concerned. It could be a trick question.

“Yeah“, he replied as he went to plug in his phone so it could charge overnight. Luke put his phone down and crossed his arms in front of his chest. 

“Something's up“, he said. His tone made it clear that this wasn't up for discussion. “What's wrong?“

“Nothing.“ Will climbed into bed with him. He was getting a little nervous. He didn't want to fight. But he knew Luke could read him like a book and he could tell Will was dealing with something. Will hoped he at least couldn't tell he was missing the man he had had a brief affair with. Luke would probably kill him. 

“Is it your ribs? Did you take your meds?“ Luke asked. He sounded a little annoyed.

“No and yes“, Will sighed. “I'm fine, really“

“I don't believe you“   
Luke's voice cut like a blade.

“Then don't“, Will hissed, surprisingly bold. 

Within less than a second Luke moved and latched onto his arm, gripping his wrist tightly. Will supressed a shriek, his heart stopped in his chest. 

“Dont. Fucking. Lie to me!“ Luke spoke through gritted teeth. “What's wrong? Do you miss your little friends? Did you fuck one of them? The pretty blonde one for example?“

No, Will wanted to scream, it was the short one with the tattoos and the long hair. And I wish I could do it again. But his throat felt like it was filled with wet cement. He could not speak. 

Luke gripped his wirst tighter.   
“Do you love me?“

Will nodded frantically, his wrist was starting to hurt. 

“Say it“   
Luke's voice was cold as ice.

“I love you“, Will choked out and immediately, Luke let go, sinking back into his pillow with a smile on his face. 

“I love you, too“ he said sweetly, no ice left in his voice at all. It terrified Will, how quickly Luke had changed personas. 

He wrapped himself in his covers, still shaking. 

“Good night“, Luke said almost cheerfully. He turned off the light. 

Will had trouble falling asleep that night, especially with Luke's arm wrapped around his waist. 

Within the two weeks (and one day) until their anniversary Will had fallen into a routine. On an emotional level at least. It was a constant mix of pushing Nico away, focussing on his feelings for Luke, wondering if a heart rate like his was normal and trying to ignore Luke's outbursts. He had not hit him again, fortunately. He only grabbed Will - his wrists, arms, hands, hair - holding onto whatever he could reach to spit words into his face. At least he was fairly easy to calm down. Will just needed to kiss him or tell him he loved him. It was fine. Will could manage, it was fine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one and the last one were kind of a filler bc theres a big thing coming up ;)


	27. Chapter 27

The day of Luke and Will's six year anniversary was a Monday. Luke, apparently, was in a good mood. He woke Will up by rubbing his stubbly cheek against Will's and leaving small kisses all over his neck. 

“Happy anniversary, baby boy“, he whispered and kissed his neck again. 

“Happy anniversary“, Will mumbled back, rolling over to kiss Luke properly. Luke hummed a little, his hands heavy on Will's hips. 

“What time is it?“ Will asked between kisses. 

“Seven“, Luke whispered and began kissing down Will's neck. Will sighed at the sensation of rough stubble and soft lips. 

“So, what are you plans for today?“ He asked, breathing a little heavily already. 

“When I come home, take you out“, Luke breathed, “Right now“, he wrapped his arms around Will and rolled over so Will was lying on top of him. “Fuck you through the mattress“

Will smashed his lips into Luke's.  
“Please“, he whispered. “Please do that“

He had not felt this much love for Luke in a long time but it all came up again as Luke kneeled over him, tugging down their boxers. Luke didn't ask for permission before he touched him, he never did, but Will didn't care, he just wanted to feel his boyfriend, hear his heavy breathing, taste him. 

“Kiss me“, he breathed, “Luke, please, kiss me“

And Luke smashed his lips into his, his hand not stopping but speeding up and Will moaned into the kiss, making Luke smile.  
Suddenly, Luke's lips and hand were gone and Will, eyes still closed, heard the sound of the lube being opened before cold, slick fingers pressed against him and Luke's lips were on his again. Will gasped as Luke slipped a finger inside him and then another one a few minutes later and for once Nico wasn't on his mind. It was Luke, just Luke he was thinking about, Luke and his fingers, his lips, his cock. 

He wrapped his legs around Luke's waist when he finally, finally pushed inside him, both of them moaning and panting, a mess of lips and tongues and hands. Will was sure he left scratch marks on Luke's back when he reached down to stroke him. In the end it was Luke's “I love you“ that send him over the edge. 

They laid next to each other, breathing heavily, both covered in sweat and cum. 

“I think we need a shower“, Will said softly. Luke laughed.

“Yeah“, he sat up, groaning a little and nudged Will. “C'mon“

Luke did actually have scratches on his back. They weren't deep but Will was sure they would last at least a day or two. They had to shower quickly because Luke wanted them to have breakfast together before he had to leave for work.

Breakfast, in this case, meant toast and Nutella, paired with coffee and - for Will - some juice. 

“Happy anniversary“, Luke said, smiling at Will across their small kitchen table. Will reached out to hold his hand.

“Happy anniversary“, he whispered. “Six years...“

“I almost can't believe it“, Luke mumbled and squeezed his hand. 

Will looked at his boyfriend across the breakfast table. His still damp hair, the scar hidden by his tan, his police officer's uniform. The hickey peaking out from underneath his collar. The callousness of his hands. Will was madly in love with him, he was almost certain.

 

Will didn't talk to Percy at all today. He didn't want to think of Nico, not on his anniversary. Instead, he tidied up the apartment a little, read a few chapters and eventually decided to grab his book and head over to 'Cabin Nr 10'. He had been there a few times over the last two weeks and really liked it there. 

Silena greeted him with a kiss on each cheek and gave him the table he had been sitting at every time. 

“The usual, tea and a bagel?“ She asked. Will thought for a second, then shook his head. 

“What cake do you have today?“ 

“Oh, fancy!“ She laughed. “Cheesecake, strawberry pie, chocolate cake, ambrosia and brownies“

“What's ambrosia?“

“A vanilla cake with strawberries, blueberries and white chocolate“, Silena explained. “It's our special. Only we serve it. It's my mother's recipe“

“I'll take that and your special tea“, Will said, smiling. 

“Okay, nectar and ambrosia for my favorite bookworm“, Silena smiled and tilted her head to read the title of the book Will had brought. 

“'Darling Days'“, Will said. 

“Tell me about it when I come back“, she smiled and left towards the kitchen. It was a slow day today, which allowed her to sit with Will after she brought him his order.  
“So, why so fancy today?“ She asked after she had flipped through 'Darling Days'. 

“It's Luke's and my six year anniversary“, Will explained and swallowed another bite of ambrosia.  
“Silena, this is LITERALLY the best cake I have ever had“

She smiled warmly. “Thank you, dear. So, six years, huh? Congratulations“

“Thanks“, Will smiled and sipped his nectar, which was actually just tea made from peach and several flowers Silena refused to reveal. 

“You ever thought about getting married? You know, since it's finally legal“, she asked.  
Will choked on his tea. She had caught him off guard. Silena laughed.  
“Sorry“

“I did think about it, when I was younger, you know“, Will mumbled after he had stopped coughing. “Kinda stopped when the cancer happened and everything...“

Silena ran a thumb over the book cover. “Oh dear, you haven't the slightest idea, do you?“

“Huh?“ 

“Nothing“

 

Will had pretty much forgotten about her words when he returned home. Luke was already there, his car was parked out front and he was rummaging through the closet when Will stepped into the apartment. 

“What are you doing?“ Will asked, leaning against the door frame.

“Picking outfits for when I'm taking you out later“, Luke replied. “Where did you put your mustard yellow button down?“

“With the rest of my two suits“, Will replied, walking over to the closet. “Are you picking mine out, too?“

“Yes“, Luke said and pulled out Will's shirt. “I need us to match, I want everything to be perfect. Where were you?“

“Silena's. Have you tried her special cake?“

“Amazing, isn't it?“ Luke leaned over to kiss Will's cheek, then laid a few articles of clothing out on the bed. He held two different button downs - the yellow and a burgundy one - up to Will's torso, narrowing his eyes. After a second, he put the yellow one back onto the bed and handed the other one to Will.

“Please put that back, baby“

Will turned around and hung the shirt back onto the rail. “Where are we going?“

“That's a surprise“ Luke replied. 

“Ah.“ Will said, turning around and leaning against the closet. Luke stepped up to him and pecked his lips. 

“You're such a brat“, he chuckled. “Let me surprise you, for fuck's sake“

Will was a little intimidated, but Luke's eyes were sparkling and his touches were gentle, so he quickly relaxed. He leaned up to press their lips together. Luke only granted him a second of kissing before he pulled away.

“C'mon, baby, get ready“, he mumbled and tucked a hand into the back pocket of Will's jeans. 

“You gotta let me out first“, Will chuckled. 

“True“ Luke pressed anothet quick kiss to Will's cheek and stepped aside, pulling his hand away as well. 

The outfit Luke had picked for Will consisted of black jeans, the mustard yellow button down, black shoes and a denim jacket. Will loved it; Luke knew him so well. 

“Let me do your hair, too“, Luke said when they were done getting dressed. He was wearing his best jeans, a white shirt and a black blaiser. Will reached out and adjusted the collar. 

“Okay“, he agreed. Luke took his hand and pulled him to the bathroom, where he grabbed his hair... stuff from the counter. Will didn't even object. He had not styled his hair in years, he usually just let his curls do their thing. He hadn't even gotten it cut in a while, just snipped off the tips every now and then, so it looked like his haircut was growing out at all times. 

The gel - was it gel? Wax? Hair-jizz? - Luke was now smearing onto his fingers smelt like apples. Will closed his eyes as Luke slid his sticky fingers through Will's curls with practised, skillful motions. When he was done and tending to his own hair, Will turned to look at himself in the mirror. His hair was brushed back, his ears and forehead exposed. Very classy, compared to his usual look. He wondered where Luke was taking him.

Even when they were already in the car, Luke refused to tell him. 

“Ask again and I'll blindfold you“, he laughed, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel to the tune of whatever song was playing right now. 

Will couldn't tell if he was serious. He decided to stop asking and stared out the window instead, trying to see where they were going. Luke chuckled and laid a hand on his thigh, squeezing lightly. 

“Hands on the wheel“, Will mumbled, smiling.  
“We both know car crashes are serious“

“Touché“ Luke took his hand away. 

They arrived at their destination about two minutes later. 

“Luke you didn't!“ Will embraced his inner white girl when he saw where Luke had taken him: a small diner called 'Delphi Diner' which served amazing strawberry milkshakes. They had gone here on their first date all those years ago. Will had almost forgotten about this place. He was amazed Luke had remembered. 

“I did!“ Luke laughed and parked. He even opened the car door and that of the diner for Will. Will was pretty sure he was blushing. They both were. 

The diner looked exactly how Will remembered it. Retro. Red cushions, shiny accents. Neon signs. Only the nerd collectibles had multiplied: a Captain America shield (signed, of course), the sword from The Hobbit - sting, was it sting? - a Hogwarts school uniform and a lot more Will couldn't identify on their short way to the table. They sat opposite of each other. 

“I love you“, Luke whispered and reached over the table to hold Will's hand. Will looked at him, smiling. It dawned on him. The clothes, the hair... all this was meant to mimic their first date! Just a little fancier with a blazer instead of a hoodie and a shirt instead of a sweater. And Will's hair had been a lot shorter, hence the hairstyle. His heart warmed. He hadn't expected Luke to make this much of an effort.

“I love you, too“, he said and squeezed Luke's hand. “This is perfect“ 

Luke lifted his hand to his lips and kissed his knuckles. “Glad you like it. I had this planned for weeks“

Will felt a little guilty he hadn't thought about their anniversary this much. But they had never really celebrated it before and he had been a little occupied. Their server, a petite lady with fiery red hair, pulled a stool up to their table. 

“Good evening you guys, my name is Rachel and I'll be taking care of you tonight, can I get you started on some drinks?“

“Yeah, uh-“, Luke began but Rachel interrupted him. 

“You guys seem really familiar, did you come here before?“ 

“Yeah, over six years ago“, Luke chuckled. “On our first date. It's our anniversary tonight“ 

“Aww, congratulations!“ Rachel laughed. “That just got you boys are free milkshake!“

“Awesome!“ Luke replied and squeezed Will's hand again. Rachel took their orders and disappeared again. Will almost expected her to be wearing roller skates.

“She's really nice“, he mumbled. Luke ran a thumb over his knuckles. 

“Hey, she got us a free milkshake“

They both laughed a little. 

“Six years“, Will mumbled and played with Luke's fingers. “I can't believe it“

“The best six years of my life“, Luke said firmly and leaned over the table to kiss Will's forehead.  
“I love you“

“I love you too“

 

They held pleasant conversation while waiting for their food. Luke kept stealing little kisses, running his fingers over Will's forearms and hands and Will was blushing and smiling all over the place. He couldn't remember the last time they had been this loving, this in love.  
Rachel whirled over, carrying their food. 

“You guys are so cute!“ She exclaimed as she set down the plates. 

“Thanks?“ Will said. Luke laughed. 

She disappeared and reappeared within two seconds, now bringing their milkshake. Luke, being unusually romantic tonight, asked her to take a picture of them sharing it. She happily did. Luke thanked her and showed the photo to Will. Will blushed. 

Their dinner was lovely. Will noticed that Luke kept brushing over his blazer, as if there was hair on it. He figured it was just nerves. Or old bruises from work. It did not turn out to be nerves or bruises. 

After dinner and a huge tip for Rachel Luke led Will back to the car. 

“Honey, that was wonderful“, Will said as Luke started the engine. 

“It's not over yet“, Luke replied. Will gave him a confused Luke but got no answer. They drove in comfortable silence, music quietly playing on the radio. Luke pulled up to a small park and parked.  
“Let's go for a walk“

They walked hand in hand, arms swinging lightly, neither of them saying a word. Fireflies danced around them, sirens howled in the distance, when Luke led Will to a small piazza with a water fountain, complete with the statue of a woman. He sat Will down on the edge of the fountain, then jogged over to a park bench. Will watched him position his phone on the backrest, then the flashlight lit up. Was he... filming? Luke adjusted his blazer, jogged back over and pulled Will from his seat and into a hug. 

“I love you“, he whispered into his hair. “I love you, I love you, I love you“

“I love you, too“, Will chuckled. “What is this?“ 

Luke pulled away lightly, their eyes met. “I have something to say to you“ 

Will watched with wide eyes as Luke cleared his throat and took Will's hands. The water burbled next to them, a bumblebee wobbled past them.

“Will“, Luke began, obviously nervous. Will's heart was pounding. What was this? “These past six years have been the best of my life. You've been with me through everything - cancer, depression. You're my family, my best friend, my favorite person. I don't know where I'd be without you. I wouldn't have made it through chemo and everything without you, Will. You saved my life. You're my soulmate, the love of my life. And I have something to ask you-“

Will watched with wide eyes as Luke pulled something - a box - out of his blazer and - a little awkwardly because he was so nervous - went down on one knee. Oh god. 

“William Solace, will you marry me?“

No. No! He wasn't ready! They had just gotten back together, he was still thinking about Nico late at night. He wasn't ready to marry a man who kept scaring him whenever they fought. A man who left bruises on his body. Who made him feel dirty. But, Luke had changed. Tonight had been beautiful. And what he had said... they had been trough everything together. Will - apparently - had saved Luke's life. They WERE family. Maybe even soulmates. Luke loved Will with every fiber of his being and Will had essentially cheated on him with Nico. He owed Luke this much. And he was almost sure it was meant to be. 

“Yes“, he choked out. “Yes, Luke, yes, I'll marry you“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lemme know what u think! Also please tell how you think the relationship between Luke and Will would end I'd love to hear your thoughts (but it wont influence the plot sorry that's already planned)


	28. Chapter 28

Will had been engaged for nine days when he finally dared to visit Percy. And Nico. He wasn't sure whether he was ready, but he was naive enough to believe that now, with them being eganged, he was certain his relationship with Luke was safe from Will's confused heart. His friends didn't know he was engaged yet. Luke had told his buddies at work, including Ethan who had teared up a little, and they had visited Silena and Charlie. Silena had pulled both of them into bone crushing hugs - “you did it Luke, you finally did it“ - and Charlie had just congratulated them. He wasn't a man of many words. Will had also told his siblings. Michael during a check up (his ribs were healing fine), Austin and Kayla he had called. They had all congratulated him, though they were obviously concerned. Will ignored their worry.

Percy, he wanted to tell in person. He hadn't seen him since he left and missed him dearly, so he had decided to visit. He had texted him beforehand and Percy seemed to have awaited him, because as soon as Will knocked, the door opened. 

“Will!“ He exclaimed and hugged him. Will laughed.

“Hey Perce“

Percy led him inside. Nico was sitting on the coffee table, sketching.

“Neeks“, Percy said softly as if speaking to a child. “Will is here“

Nico looked up. “Hey.“  
He looked just like when Will had first seen him. Sick. Sad. Had Will done this to him? He knew he did. Guilt washed over him. He felt horrible.

“Hey, Nico“, he greeted him quietly. A moment of silence.

“Juice box?“ Percy offered. Will nodded. Percy handed him the one he was holding. It was half empty already. 

“Thanks“ 

“So, you said you had news?“ Percy asked, obviously curious. 

“Uh, yeah.“ Will held up his hand, the ring was glistening on his finger. “I'm engaged“

Percy's mouth fell open. Next to them, Nico dropped his sketchbook. He climbed off the coffee table and ran towards his bedroom, wiping at his face. The door slammed shut with such force, a framed picture fell off the wall. 

“Shit, I didn't realize“ Will clamped his hands over his mouth. He was mortified. He just kept hurting Nico, didn't he. His best friend. If Nico didn't hate him by now. 

Percy laid a hand on his shoulder. “You two really need to talk things out“

As if on command, Nico's door opened again and he came out, making a bee line for the front door. 

“Nico!“ Percy called after him. Nico ignored him. The door fell shut. “I better go after him. I'm not sure he took his meds today“   
He looked at Will. “Congratulations on your engagement“  
He didn't sound like he meant it. 

 

Will walked home in a daze. He felt awful. Absolutely terrible. He wanted to apologize to Nico, make him okay, but he didn't know how. You don't just lead someone on like he did, then leave and get engaged and just fix it with an 'I'm sorry' and a hug. Also, he was afraid. He was scared feelings he had tried to suppress would bubble up again. He knew that was selfish, but the fear was strong and Will was known to be a coward. 

The apartment was vacant. Will would be alone for a few days, Luke was on a stake out with Ethan. He didn't like being alone in here. The smoke, the narrow walls. After a shower - which he had cried in - Will decided he needed to get out of there. Silena's place was closed today, Percy and Nico, well, that had gone well, and Michael and Austin were working. But, if Will remembered correctly, Kayla had time off. She only worked the night shift anyway and it was day now (the Solaces were a family of night owls). Will called her. She was free and happy he was coming over. Will had to take the subway to her place; Kayla lived in the suburbs. 

 

Her house was a small white one with flowers in the front yard. Will had not been here in literal years. He walked by a tabby cat sleeping on the grass and to the front door. The doorbell was a nice little tune. Kayla opened the door with a smile on her face. 

“Will!“ She stood on her tip toes to hug him. 

“Hey, sis“ 

She pulled him inside. The place was nice, a lot of flowers and open space. Kayla sat him down on the couch, then poured him a glass of milk. Kayla was one of those people who really believed in milk. She handed him the glass, then climbed on a stool and reached for a metal box on top of the bookshelf. 

“Here“, she said and placed the box on the table. Will opened the lid. Cookies.   
“Lou Ellen thinks if she hides the cookies up there I'll forget I bought them“

Lou Ellen was Kayla's wife. They had met in college and had been married for about a year. Will had only met Lou Ellen a few times, but he really liked her. She made Kayla happy and that was all that counted for him. 

“So,“ she said and took a cookie. “How's life treating you?“

“Pretty good“, he replied. In reality, he was miserable at the moment, but he didn't feel like talking about Nico and how shitty he felt. So, he went with 'pretty good'.

“You just got ENGAGED“, Kayla laughed, mouth full of cookie. “And you say it's 'pretty good'?“ 

“I guess“, he shrugged. She laughed again. Her phone beeped. “One sec“

As she typed away, Will looked at her. Her green hair was growing out. She had even more freckles than last year. The faint scar on her forehead was from the accident. Will had always been very protective of her after that but over the past year, they hadn't really had time for each other. 

“And you?“ He asked when she put her phone down. A huge smile spread across her face. She clapped her hands. 

“I have news!“ She exclaimed. Will sat up straighter and put his glass down. He wanted to hear this.  
“Lou and I are going to try and have a baby!“   
She let out a squeal and Will joined in. 

A baby! How exciting! Will was practically jumping in his seat.   
“Are you gonna adopt or use a donation?“

“Neither“ Kayla took a sip of Will's milk. “Lou froze some sperm before she started her transition. We're going to use that“ 

“Well, congrats!“ Will smiled. His bad mood was almost forgotten. This was so exciting!   
“But you don't have any concrete plans yet, do you?“

Kayla shook her head. “Do you?“

“For what?“

“Your wedding, dumbass“, she laughed. “When, how, with who?“

“Uh, no“, Will sipped his milk, then put it down again. “No plans yet. Luke's on a stake out, we haven't had a chance to talk“

Kayla nodded. She had that concerned look on her face that all of Will's siblings wore whenever Luke was mentioned. He sighed. She forced a smile. 

“Do you know when you'll be going back to work?“ She changed the topic. 

“In two weeks“, Will replied. “Checked in with Michael a few days ago. It's healing fine“

Kayla knew his ribs were fucked. But he hadn't told her why. As far as she knew, he had tripped and fallen down the stairs while carrying a heavy box. He had no doubt she didn't believe him. 

“Well, congrats“, she said dryly, a smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “I'm sure Austin will be glad to have you back. From what I've heard, Lester has been annoying the shit out of him. He's partnered with Lee at the moment. He keeps beating him at Go Fish“

Will laughed. He knew Lee and liked him. But their driver Lester could be quite a handful. Plus, he reminded Will of his father, which was a little painful. He hadn't talked to his parents in so long.

“How are mom and dad doing?“ He asked quietly.

“Fine, as far as I know. Mom finally got the upstairs bathroom retiled, she said. Don't you talk to them?“ Kayla raised an eyebrow at him.

Will avoided her gaze. “Not really... Luke says-“

“Why does it matter what he says?“ Kayla interrupted him harshly. “They are your parents, not his! Is that why you never talk to us? Because he doesn't fucking let you?“

Will stared at her, eyes wide. Kayla rarely ever raised her voice and she never ever swore. 

“Kayla“, he said softly. “What's gotten into you?“

She sighed and took his hand. “He's not good, Will. He controls you. I bet my ass he hurt you before“  
Will tried to interrupt, but she raised her hand.   
“Let me finish. I will support you no matter what, but please be smart. I don't know much since you never fucking talk to me, but I'm pretty sure he's not what you need.“

Will just gave her a blank stare. He was so, so tired of everyone telling him how to handle his relationship. Part of him wanted to get up and just leave. And it was a big part. But he had already messed with Nico earlier and he didn't want to hurt another person he loved. So, he didn't say anything. He didn't even pull his hand away. 

Kayla sighed. “Fine. Just remember you can always come here if you need to. And you should probably call mom some time. She keeps asking for you“

Will nodded. He hadn't realized how much he actually missed his parents until now. He blinked a few times, his eyes suspiciously wet. Kayla let go of his hand. 

“Aw, c'mon“, she said and ruffled his hair. “Let's talk about something more fun now, okay?“

Will nodded and looked around the room. He spotted a Wii. 

“Or I could destroy you at Mario Kart“

When Lou Ellen came home from work a few hours later, she walked in on her wife and brother-in-law yelling and pushing each other's karts off the Rainbow Boulevard. 

Will was in a good mood until he got home. When he was greeted by the stuffy air and the dark apartment, he was overwhelmed by a sudden urge to lay down on the floor and never talk to anyone again. He wanted to turn around and go back to Kayla, but he couldn't because 1), Kayla was out on a date with Lou and 2) that would just prove to her that Luke was unhealthy. Even though Will wasn't sure himself if Luke was good for him himself, he would not admit that to anyone. Except maybe Percy. If Percy didn't hate him by now for hurting Nico over and over again. Will knew he hated himself for it. 

Will sat on the balcony and stared at his phone.  
'Call mom and dad', Kayla had told him when he left. 'They miss you'  
And he missed them too. He missed so many people at the moment. He missed his brothers, who were constantly working just like he used to. He missed his parents. He missed Percy, his jokes, his brotherly affection, his wits. And he missed Nico. He missed him so much. He wanted to call him and talk about everything and apologize and just hear his voice. But he couldn't. He didn't dare to, for the same reason he couldn't bring himself to call his parents. What if he rejected him? What if Will had fucked up too bad? It could be unfixable. And Will knew it got worse with every day, every hour he didn't call Nico to fix this. And that just made him panic more. The thought of talking to Nico was just as unbearable as the thought of not talking to him. 

Will had long dropped his phone and was slumped against the wall, shaking. Tears were running down his face. He was tearing away at his hair. Too much. He needed to rest. Somehow, he pulled himself up, collected his phone, and stumbled to the bedroom. It was still early, but right now he craved sleep more than anything. With the help of a risky amount of his painkillers, Will finally passed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know your thoughts on this! :D


	29. Chapter 29

The headstone is a light grey, almost white. A few flowers are set beneath it. Hyacinths. Laurels. Lilies. He stares down at it, tears streaming down his face. His suit feels too tight. A lady in a black dress and a veil steps up to him. She lays a hand on his shoulder. It s so light he barely feels it.  

“He was a good man“, she saYs, voice heavy with tears. 

He just nods, for if he spoke he is sure he will cry. 

“He will be missed“

He nods again. He should probably say something.    
“I'm really sorry for your loss, May“, he croaks out. A tear rolls down his face. 

“Thank you, dear“, the woman replies. She lets go of his shoulder and kneels down to run a hand over the name engraved in the smooth stone. 

'Luke H. Castellan'

~

The call had come as a complete surprise. It had been a day like everyone else. They had fooled around in the shower in the morning and then eaten breakfast together. Luke had kissed Will goodbye and left for work.   
At 3:58 PM, Will received a call. 

“Hello?“ He asked. He didn't know the number. 

“William Solace?“ A female voice asked on the other end. 

“Yeah?“ Will was a little nervous.

“My name is Reyna Ramírez-Arellano. I'm the captain of Brooklyn's 99th precinct“, she introduced herself. 

“You're Luke's boss“ Will realized.

“I'm his superior officer, yes“, Captain Ramírez-Arellano said. “I need you to come down to the station. It's urgent“

“Why? Did something happen?“ Will nervously tugged at his hair. “Is Luke okay?“

“Please, Mr. Solace, just come down to the station. I promise I will explain everything“

“Okay“, Will choked out somehow. 

He didn't even remember the drive to the police station. He somehow made it there and was lead to the Captain's office by a low ranking officer. 

“Thank you, Octavian“, Captain Ramírez-Arellano said and waved her hand dismissively. The officer gave Will a scornful look and closed the door behind him on his way out. He was so pale, Will was sure he was anemic of some sort.   
“Mr. Solace“, the captain nodded at him from behind her desk. “Thank you for coming“

“What's wrong?“ Will blurted out. “Where's Luke“

She sighed and stood up from her desk, walking around it. Now that they were standing only a meter apart, Will noticed she was not only taller, but definitely stronger than him. He would hate to get on her bad side. 

“There is no pleasant way to do this“, Captain Ramírez-Arellano said and locked eyes with Will, who was getting more and more nervous.   
“Officer Castellan was killed in action. I'm sorry“

No. No, no, NO! Will's heart stopped. He stumbled, his legs giving out. The captain reacted impressively quickly and grabbed his shoulders, leading him to the small couch in her office. Will collapsed on it. No, no, no. This couldn't be true. This was just a bad dream! In a desperate attempt to wake himself up, Will pinched his forearm. Wake up! It didn't work. Of course it didn't. This was real. Will had been confronted with death many times. People had died in his ambulance, in his arms even. But this... Will couldn't feel anything. It was all just pain. 

Captain Ramírez-Arellano sat down next to him and handed him a water bottle. 

“I'm really sorry for your loss“, she said. Her voice was firm but Will could tell it was affecting her as well. 

“How?“ He asked, his voice breaking. “How did he die?“

“There was a shooting in a convenience store. Officers Nakamura and Castellan were the first ones to arrive on scene. Officer Castel- Luke was shot in the neck while protecting civilians. Nakamura managed to take down the shooter immediately after. No one else was harmed“

Will swallowed dryly. 

“His mother“, he croaked out. “Does she know?“

“We have no way of contacting her“, she replied. 

Will wasn't surprised. Luke wasn't close to his mother. Will had only met her a few times before. She was draining to be around. After Luke's father had left them, she had become mentally ill. Half the time, she wasn't even able to recognize Will, addressing him as 'Luke' instead. 

“I can give you her number. Please tell her what happened“, he mumbled. “I can't do it“

“Of course we will“, Captain Ramírez-Arellano assured him. 

Will nodded. He felt faint. 

“I can assign an officer to take you home“, she offered. Will nodded again. His fingers were going numb. Captain Ramírez-Arellano stood up from the couch.

“Dakota!“ He could hear her yell. A few seconds later, an officer entered the room. In a hushed voice, she informed him what he should do. 

Will could barely remember the ride home. Dakota had dropped him off in a police car - he had even offered to turn on the siren - but Will had just stared out the window. Luke was gone. Dead. 

He tried to call his siblings. None of them answered. Michael was at a seminar in Boston and had his phone turned off. Kayla was working. Austin probably just forgot his phone at the station again. Calling Percy or Nico still wasn't an option. So, Will just took far too many painkillers and collapsed on the couch. 

Luke's funeral was held on the two week anniversary of their engagement. It was a burial worthy of a police officer, complete with casket watch, bagpipes, the whole shebang. Will let them do it. Luke would have loved to be celebrated like this. Like a hero. Will merely attended, barely listening to the speeches, everyone's condolences, the music. He suffered through the ceremony, just waiting to finally, finally get some alone time. 

After a few hours, almost everyone was gone. Only captain Ramírez-Arellano, Ethan, Luke's mother and a few others remained. Will stood at the fresh grave, staring at the tombstone. He had only had a few seconds with Luke's body in his casket, but the imagine was burned into his mind. Pale skin, scar more prominent than ever. His eyes were closed. He looked almost peaceful. As if he was asleep. But he wasn't. He was dead. Fucking dead. Will resisted the urge to kick the headstone. Luke was fucking dead. 

Ethan and captain Ramírez-Arellano came up to him, saying their condolences. Will forced a smile, though he barely even listened. Then Luke's mother joined him at the headstone. 

~

He watches her trace the letters. This all still feels so unreal. The last two days are a blur. Will spent them high on painkillers, mostly just sleeping and crying. He did eventually reach his siblings. They all said they were sorry and offered to come over but Will wanted to be alone. He didn't call Percy or Nico. And he didn't see Mrs. Castellan before today. 

“He was a good man“, she repeats. Ethan and captain Ramírez-Arellano said the same thing. So did Silena and Charlie when they approached him earlier after the ceremony (Will specifically made sure they were invited). 

“Your fiance died a hero“, Silena had said before they left him at the headstone. Will wiped a few tears off his face.

All those people in Luke's life, Silena, Charlie, Ethan, his captain, he wondere if they know Luke like he does. And this isn't him being jealous, he genuinely wonders if they have any idea what Luke could be like. That he gave Will a split lip, a black eye, bruises, broken ribs and panic attacks. That he hurt himself, even attempted suicide several times. But they see him as a hero. Isn't that messed up?

 

Will is the last one to remain at the grave. When he walks back to the car, his legs feel wobbly. He is glad his feelings are simply... absent. They just left him. He is numb. If he weren't, driving Luke's car would probably have been hell. But strangely, he can deal with it. Ironically, as he is driving down the street, 'Mad World' starts playing on the radio. He sighs and turns it off. He doesn't want to be sad again. He drives around the streets, not really wanting to go home. 

After a few minutes of driving, it starts raining. Will sighs loudly. First 'Mad World', now rain, how cliche can this day even get? How much WORSE? If there is a God, she had a sense of humor, Will decides when his day somehow gets even worse. He spots a familiar figure, strolling through the rain. Short and thin, dark clothes. Long hair tied into a bun. Nico. 

Will almost crashes the car. What is he doing here? Just seeing him makes all sorts of feelings bubble up again. Affection, longing, his heart was beating faster. Worry. Fear. His feelings are overwhelming but his mind is occupied by a single thought: he shouldn't have to walk in the rain.   
Following the same strange instinct he felt the night they had met, Will pulls up at Nico's side and rolls down the window. 

“Get in“, he says. Nico jumps and turns towards him. 

“Will?“ He asks, startled. For a split second, his face is full of emotions. Apparently the same ones Will had just felt. And more. Hurt and anger. They all flash across his face before it turns blank. Nico blinks and keeps walking. 

“Nico, c'mon, I'll drive you home“, Will insists, slowly driving beside him. “It's raining. You're gonna catch a cold“

Nico stops for second, then keeps walking.

“Neeks!“ Will repeats. He doesn't know why he is doing this. It just feels right. 

“Fine!“ Nico exclaims and stops. Will leans over and opens the door for him. Nico gets in without a word. Will begins driving again. Neither of them speaks. There is so much tension between them, you could cut the air with a knife.

“Nice suit“, Nico finally breaks the silence. “For your wedding?“   
His voice is bitter. Will can't blame him. He knows he fucked up big time. 

“Luke's funeral“, he replied, eyes focused on the road, voice as neutral as possible. 

“I'm sorry“, Nico says after a moment of shock.

“It's okay. He died a hero“, Will says, mocking everyone who said that over the course of the day. He's tired of it. Luke may have died a hero, he thinks, but he still kicked my ribs in. He doesn't know where this bitterness is coming from, but it's strong. 

“Still, I'm sorry“, Nico says.

They are silent for a few more minutes. Will turns on the radio again.

“To your old place or the new house?“ He asks. 

“The house“, Nico replies, sounding a little suprised. He probably didn't expect Will to remember. He reaches for the GPS and types in the adress. 

“Turn left“, the GPS says in a Mickey Mouse voice. Nico snorts. Will chuckles lightly and turns down the volume. The tension breaks a little. At least they aren't suffocating anymore. 

“Nico?“ Will asks after another moment of silence. 

“Hmm?“ Nico is undoing his hair tie. Wet hair fell across his face. Will has to force himself to look back at the road. 

“I'm sorry“, he confesses. “I know I messed up and I-“

“Will, stop“ Nico interrupts him. 

“No, I-“, Will tries again, but Nico lays a hand on his arm, shutting him up. 

“Now is not the time to talk about this“, Nico says softly. His hand is still on Will's arm. “Your boyfriend just died, Will. And I don't want to talk about something this important in the car when we haven't talked in weeks. We are going to talk about this, but not now, okay?“

Will nods. “Okay. Sorry“

Nico takes his hand away. Will missed its warmth instantly. 

“You have reached your destination“, Mickey Mouse says, barely audible.   
Will parks. 

“Here we are“, he mumbled. 

“Thanks“, Nico says and gets out. Will expects him to shut the door behind him and be gone, but he leans back down, one hand placed on the car roof.   
“You coming?“

“What?“ Will blinks in surprise. 

“You sure you wanna go back home?“ Nico raises his eyebrows at him. 

It's true, the last place Will wants to be right now is his apartment. Especially now that it's just his. So, he pulls out the key and gets out of the car. 

The house is lovely. Three stories high with a brownstone facade, big windows and a bright blue front door. 

“Percy painted the door“, Nico explains as he unlocks it. 

“Figured“, Will laughs. 

Entering the house is so different from entering his apartment. It's brighter and smells of fresh paint instead of smoke. The entire atmosphere is nicer. 

“I'll go get out of these wet clothes“, Nico says beside him. “Make yourself comfortable. Percy should be around here somewhere“   
Then he jogs up the stairs. 

Will stands in his spot for a moment, looking around. To his left, a wide doorway leads to a kitchen. In front of him a set of stairs leads up to the next floor, right next to them a small room Will figured is a bathroom. Left to the staircase, through another doorway is the living room. Will decides to go that way. 

He finds Percy at the dining table, leaning over a bunch of documents spread out on the wooden surface. 

“Hey“, Will says quietly. Percy looks up. 

“Will!“ He smiles. “Oh wow, you look like shit. Why the suit?“

“Funeral“, Will says dryly. 

Percy frowns and walks around the table towards Will.   
“Whose?“

“Luke's“, Will says. He was surprisingly not-sad right now. 

“Oh“, Percy says. “Oh.“

“Yeah“

“I'm sorry“

“Thanks“ 

A moment of silence. 

“H-How?“ Percy asks carefully. “The cancer?“

Will shakes his head. “Killed in action“ 

“I'm sorry“ Percy says again. He sounds worried. Will manages a smile. 

“I'm okay“

“Are you, though?“

Will shrugs. The suit was uncomfortably warm. He takes off the jacket. 

“What brings you here?“ Percy asks. He still looks concerned. Will wishes he would stop. Strangely enough, he's pretty much fine. Just nervous about talking to Nico. 

“I picked Nico up on the way home and dropped him off. This house is amazing“

“Isn't it?“ Percy spreads out his arms and does a swirl. 

“Where's Annabeth?“ Will asks, remembering who this house belongs to. 

“In her office“, Percy replies, pointing at the ceiling. “It's upstairs“ 

“How big is this place?“ Will is a little impressed. He grew up in a pretty big house in Queens but it has been years since he has last been there. And it has always been full of toys and then books and then decor because after his siblings moved out, his mother got bored. 

“C'mon, I'll give you a tour, I have some time before work“, Percy offers. Will nods.

Even though the interior isn't completely finished, the house is already full off its residents' personalities. In the hallway of the first floor Percy's surboard is leaning right next to Annabeth's skateboard. Right underneath a sketch of the house. Will learns that this floor was Percy's and Annabeth's, containing their bedroom, her office and a guest bedroom. Also, bathrooms, but Percy feels that isn't worth mentioning. 

“We have to be quiet here“, he whispers and points at a door that Will now knows leads to the office. “She's working“ 

Will nodds. From what he had heard, disturbing Annabeth can result in the death penalty. 

Percy points at the ceiling. Will follows his finger. Now they are both staring at the ceiling 

“Up there is Nico's floor“, he says, still using his inside voice. “It's his bedroom and a spare one. We might turn it into another guest bedroom. Right now it's storage, but that'll all go to the basement“

Will nods. He's a little tired. The funeral has drained him more than he originally thought. Percy gives him a side-eye. 

“You okay?“ 

Will nods then shakes his head. “It's been a tough day“

“I can imagine“ Percy smiled sympathetically. He checks his watch. “I have to leave for work in a minute, but make yourself at home. Grab some food, take a nap, whatever“

Will smiles up at him. “Thanks“

Percy lays a hand on his shoulder. “Of course. You're family“ 

Then he disappears into his bedroom. Will stands there for a second, then makes his way downstairs. He's relieved Percy doesn't hate him for hurting Nico. And that Nico doesn't hate him either. He expected them to. 

He finds himself in the kitchen, suddenly realizing he hasn't eaten all day. He opens the fridge and has to laugh. There they are, sitting on the top shelf, right next to a gallon of milk. The juice boxes. Will stares at them and laughs. He hasn't really laughed in a long time. It feels good. It feels as if all the pain, the sorrow, the fear, the heartbreak is leaving his body, like a demon being exorcized. And as Will reaches for the boxes, he somehow feels as if things will be okay.


	30. Chapter 30

Will does not end up staying the night. Soon after Percy left for work, he knocks on Nico's bedroom door to say goodbye. 

“Nico?“ 

Nico opens the door. His hair is still damp and hanging into his face. Will resists the urge to brush it out of his eyes. 

“Will, hey“, he says. Will can't help but notice the pain in his voice. Immediately, the guilt starts eating away at his guts again. 

“I, uh“, Will scratches the back of his neck. “I just wanted to say goodbye. I'm going home“

Nico looks like he wants to say something, but he just nodd. “Okay“ 

“See you, I guess“ Will waits a second for him to reply, then turns around. 

“Will?“ Nico calls just as Will reaches the stairs. He turns around. 

“Yeah?“

“Take care of yourself“, Nico says, a sad smile on his lips. 

Will nods. Then Nico's door falls shut. 

It all comes crashing down on him later. It takes Will a dangerously high amount of painkillers to fall asleep, even though he sure is tired. He doesn't know where this recent habit of substance abuse came from. It certainly Isn't healthy. He really needs to get some proper sleeping pills soon or else he will end up accidentally killing himself. 

He sleeps until noon and still feels like shit. Eating isn't an option. He has a few texts. His siblings. Percy. All along the lines of 'are you okay?'

'yeah just need some space', he texts back. In reality, he's the loneliest he had ever been. But something stops him from asking for them to come over or to meet up. He doesn't want anyone around him. He wants to feel okay. But that isn't happening. He wants to cry and scream and tear the wallpaper off the walls. So he dies. 

After half an hour his throat is sore and he's  sitting in the midst of shattered picture frames, couch cushions and things so destroyed he can't even identify them. He cut his hand at some point. His eyes are burning from crying so much. 

Michael calls. He declines. Talking is too much. He just wants to cry. 

Kayla asks if he needs help. No he doen't. He's doing fine, but thanks for asking. 

Austin calls. Will declines and sends a text telling him he was okay. 

Percy texts. Will replies with lies. 

And after two days, there's a knock on the door. 

“'I'm okay', my ass, you look like shit“, Percy greets him when Will openes the door. Will has no doubt he did. Dehydrated as hell, Luke's baggy clothes hanging off his slumped frame, his hair a mess. Eyes dull from the painkillers (he still hasn't gotten any sleeping pills). 

“Hello to you to“, he mumbles. Percy gives him a sympathetic look and slips past him into the apartment.   
“Oh, WOW“, Will hears him exclaim in the living room. He closes the door and stumbles over to Percy. 

“What are you doing here?“

“Taking care of my friend?“ Percy replies and begins putting the cushions back on the couch. 

“I told you I was fine“, Will mumbles. 

“Okay first of all, you're obviously not“, Percy says and points at the chaos in the living room. “Second of all, neither Nico nor I believed your text, so I came over to check on you“

“Why Nico?“ Will asks. His mind is slow. Probably because of the painkillers. And the dehydration. And the overall shit state he's in. 

“Because he cares about you, dumbass“, Percy replies and begins collecting the framed pictures or rather, their remains. Will is still just standing in the doorway. Somehow, Percy's words make him smile. Nico cares about him. 

Percy puts the frames on the coffee table and turns back to Will, examining him. 

“When was the last time you ate?“

Will shrugges. “Like, yesterday?“

Percy sighs. “You know what? Pack your shit“

“What?“ Will looks at him in surprise. 

“I said pack your shit. I'm taking you to the house. You can't stay here on your own“, Percy says firmly. Will blinks a few times. 

“Okay“, he says. He really doesn't want to be around people. But he knows Percy was serious. And he's so god damn sick of this apartment. 

 

After packing a few clothes (some are his, some are Luke's), his toothbrush and his usual other crap, Will is handed a giant glass of tap water. 

“Drink“, Percy says. Will obeys. And it feels like he's drinking Jesus' tears. Water has never been so good. 

“C'mon“ Percy grabs his bag and pulled him to the door as soon as Will finished the glass. “You can shower at home“ 

Will just nods and lets Percy take him to his car. 

“What about our- my apartment?“ He asks when Percy starts the engine. 

“We're going to come back when you're feeling better and clean up. Right now, you need to get better“, Percy replies. Will doesn't know how to answer. 

The closer they come to the house, the more nervous Will becomes. It takes him some thinking and a lot of energy to realize why: he'll see Nico again. And more importantly, Nico will see him and the state he's in. Will usually isn't ashamed of the way he feels, no matter what way that is, but with Nico, it's different. He definitely still has feelings for him. He wants to impress him, show him he was desirable. And he wants to sort things out. He wants them to be okay. But he can't  do that yet. He can't fix this when he himself is this broken. 

When Percy pulls up to the house Will is practically shaking. Percy notices and shoots him a worried glance. He parks the car in the garage that's part of the basement. 

“Don't worry“, he tells him and turns to grab his bag off the backseat. “It'll be okay“

Will doesn't reply. Percy has to physically drag him out of the car. The basement is full of various types of furniture, boxes and good options for stubbing one's toe and Percy navigates them around all of it and up the stairs. The living room is vacant. 

“Nico's at work“, Percy explains and closes the basement door behind them. “Annabeth is running some errands, I think“

Will nods. He's glad they weren't home. Nico makes him feel things he's too exhausted to feel. He is in no condition to talk things out right now, even though he wants to. And he hasn't really met Annabeth yet, except for on Skype a few times and he doesn't want to have their first real-life-interaction when he is this much of a mess. He needs to keep his last shred of dignity. 

Percy handed him his bag. “C'mon. You'll get the guest bedroom“

The guest bedroom is full of a variety of things, mostly Percy's and Annabeth's. Will recognizes the bed to be Percy's, the skate- and surfboard from the hallway are now in here and the bookshelf contains both comic books and Greek philosophy. 

“Take a shower“, Percy orders. “Get dressed in new clothes. Then we'll get you some food. Okay?“

Will nods. “Thanks“, he mumbles. He has honestly forgotten that there are people that genuinely care about him. But he has also forgotten to drink anything for 24 hours and that his ribs are still broken because literally everything hurts. If someone told him during his stay with Percy about a month ago that Luke being gone will affect him this much, he would have laughed in their face. 

Percy smiles at him, warmly and full of sympathy. Will managed a small smile back. Percy reaches out and squeezes his shoulder, then leaves him on his own. 

Actually taking a shower takes quite an emotional effort. At least there is a small bathroom with a shower attached to Will's room, so he doesn't have to drag himself very far. After Will has peeled his dirty shirt off his torso, he stares at himself in the mirror. Dark circles under his eyes. Chapped lips. Sunken eyes and cheeks. Bruises on his shoulder from when he tripped because his legs were shaking with anxiety. Will reaches up and runs a cold finger over his scar. For the first time in over six years, he doesn't hate it. He doesn't feel sick looking at it. The accident seems like nothing compared to how he feels now. Will lets out a sick laugh, which has no joy in it. Who would have thought there was a benefit to all this? 

When Will comes downstairs half an hour later, dressed in fresh clothes and with his hair still wet, he finds Percy in the kitchen, chopping some vegetables and humming along to the radio.

“Hey“, Will mumbles and he looks up. 

“Hey there“ Percy smiles warmly and puts down the knife. “How are we feeling?“

Will shrugges. He steps closer. “What are you doing?“

“Spaghetti sauce“ Percy begins chopping again. “Annabeth asked me to start on the chopping before I leave for work“

“I thought you can't cook“, Will says and leans against the breakfast bar. He doesn't want to walk around it just to sit down but his legs are wobbly and he can't stand. 

“I can't“, Percy laughs. “But I can do some chopping“  
Will manages a small laugh. Percy turns around and gives him one of his crooked smiles.   
“It's good to hear you laugh“

Will smiles at his feet. Percy is so lovely to be around. He has never met anyone else he's so platonically in love with.   
“And how have you been doing?“ he askS. 

“Stressed but good“, Percy replies and opens the fridge, pulls out something Will can't identify and begins chopping it up.   
“Moving and renovations are stressful, but it's good to finally have some space and a place to park the car. And Annabeth is finally here!“

Will smiles, then a thought creeps onto his mind.   
“Is it really okay for me to stay here? I don't want to be a burden...“

Percy drops the knife onto the cutting board and turns around to Will.   
“Don't you dare ever think like that again“, he says firmly. “You're family, Will“  
He steps closer and gently lays his hands on Will's shoulders. “You could never be a burden to us, okay?“

Will nods. He can't help but notice Percy said 'us'. Does that include Nico? Does that mean Nico still cares about him?  
Percy gives Will's shoulders a light squeeze and goes back to his vegetables. Will leans against the counter again. 

“How's Nico doing?“ He askS quietly. 

“He's okay“, Percy replies. Will can tell he isn't telling him everything. He sighs.

“Perce, don't lie to me“, he mumbles. “I can handle it“

Percy sighs and his chopping slows. “He works a lot. Is really grumpy. But he can manage“

Will knows that 'I can manage' is Nico's euphemism for 'if someone shot me right now I wouldn't complain'. But he's too numb and too exhausted to worry a decent amount. The guilt however, is strong. It gnaws through the thick wool that numbs his heart and brain and leaves claw marks all over it. 

“I- I'm sorry“, he chokes out. Percy turns around.

“What?“

“I'm sorry“, Will repeats, voice cracking. “I hurt him and I'm sorry“

Percy gives him a sympathetic smile. “You should be telling him that, I believe. But for now you should probably just try to get better. How do you feel?“

“Like shit“, Will laughs dryly. “I honestly want to die“  
He isn't lying. Life seems pointless without Luke. Will is sure that the only reason he doesn't act on it, is that he knew it's temporary. It's just the grief. He will be okay. It'll just be a long and rocky road. But for now, he 'can manage'.

Percy nods slowly. He looks really worried. “Give me your brother's number“, he says after a moment of silence.

“What?“ Will blinks in surprise. “And which one?“

“The doctor one. Michael? Michael. I want to use his doctor-connections to get you some grief counselling“

“What? Why?“ Will is a little shocked. He knows he was a mess right now, but it's not that bad! 

“Will. You're practically a zombie. You smashed up your place! You just said you want to die!“ Percy throws his hands in the air. 

“C'mon, that was an exaggeration“, Will tries. He wants to stand up straighter to prove his point but his wobbly legs aren't helping. 

“Will“, Percy sighs. “It's going to help you, okay?“

Will squirms under his gaze. Objectively, he knows Percy's right, but Lukeinstalled a fear of therapists in him that he just can't seem to shake. 

“Will, please“, Percy insists. “I let Nico refuse and I regret it to this day. I just want to help you heal, okay?“

Will nods slowly. He knows how much his sister's death still affects Nico, years later. He doesn't want to end up like that. He wants to be okay. And the thought of Luke still dominating his life even after his death makes him sick. Will doesn't know where that thought had come from, but it stuck.   
“Okay“, he agrees with a sigh. 

Percy smiles and opens his arms. Will steps closer and practically melts into his embrace, gripping the fabric of his shirt and burying his face in his shoulder.   
“Thank you“, he whispers. “Thank you for taking care of me“

Percy runs a hand over his back. “Don't worry about it. You're family, remember?“

Will nods and sniffles a little. He's glad he gas Percy in his life. He's sure he'll be okay. He'll be fine. He can do this.  
He pulls away from the hug and leans against the counter again. As he watches Percy chop, he has a feeling as if he has come home.


	31. Chapter 31

Over the next few days, a lot happens. Will finally meets Annabeth properly and even though she intimidates him, they immediately like each other. He manages to help around the house a little, mostly with dishes or cleaning. Percy called Michael and they are waiting to hear back from an acquainted therapist of his. According to Percy, Michael is thankful he called and really worries about Will. Will shrugged it off. Too numb to worry. 

The one thing that gets through the numbness sometimes is Nico. When Will looks at him, his heart still beats faster, his palms still get sweaty. He still blushes. He doesn't know how Nico feels and it's hard to tell, because they are avoiding each other. Or maybe Will is avoiding Nico and Nico is just going about is day. It's not hard to avoid Will, on purpose or not. He sleeps until noon (with the help of sleeping pills he asked Percy to grab for him), barely ever eats a full meal so he has no business being in the kitchen and the rest of the time he hides away in his room, working himself through the entire bookshelf just to keep his mind occupied. Plus, Nico has work. 

But Will is definitely avoiding Nico. On purpose. And he has his reasons. He's not ready to have feelings for anyone again and because he knows he has some strong ones for Nico, he avoids him. He wants to protect both himself and Nico. As long as he's in the process of grieving, he can easily mess up again and hurt Nico and that's the last thing he wants. He needs to focus on getting better for now. He's supposed to go back to work soon and even though he really wants to, he knows he's in no conditions to work a full shift yet. 

Three days into his stay and two days before he is supposed to go back to work, the numbness suddenly leaves his body. It is driven out of him to be exact. After finally getting out of bed, he is just sitting on the deck in the backyard, munching on his cereal. He can hear the neighbors fighting, their window is open. They're screaming. Will can't understand individual words, but doesn't need to. He knows exactly what's going to happen, he knows the tone of voice, the crying. He can pinpoint almost exactly when the sound of glass shattering disrupts the screaming. A few minutes later, a window opens and a young woman leans onto the windowsill. Will can tell by her body language that she's crying. He stares up at her, his cereal forgotten. 

That used to be him, he realizes. He has heard them fight before, almost every day and he's sure she cries every time. Because he used to. And not just cry, he would flinch at every loud noise, cringe whenever someone touched him. He would feel dirty, used. He still does. Anger floods through Will. How could he have thought that his relationship with Luke was healthy? It wasn't! Luke used to beat the shit out of him! He never asked for consent! He gave him panic attacks and so much guilt he made him to an engagement he didn't want! And yet, Will misses him so much it hurts. 

Somehow, Michael has managed to get Will an appointment with a grief counsellor in three days. Will knows his brother can be very convincing but he clearly underestimated him. 

“How did you do that?“ He asks into the phone. 

“I have contacts“, Michael laughs. “She's a colleague of a colleague of a colleague. And she's very good. Her name is Doctor Zhang-Levesque, I'll text you her adress“

“Thanks“, Will smiles. He's strangely excited to start therapy. Luke always told him therapy would just mess people up further and that it was just a way for doctors to make money. But Luke has told him a lot of lies. And Will wanted to get better. So, out of spite, he's determined to make the best out of this. 

“And how are you doing?“ Michael asks, obviously concerned. 

“Alright“, Will says. It's not a lie. He can deal with this. He no longer feels like dying. The structure of living with other people has helped a little. The numbness is gone. It may have been replaced by anger, but there is no more wool in his head and chest and that's the first step, he guesses. 

“You sure?“ Michael asks. “Or are you putting on a brave face so people will stop asking?“  
Michael knows him too well. 

“No, I'm actually doing alright“, Will insists. 

“Huh“, Michael says. Will isn't sure whether he believes him. 

“Am I still on the same shift?“ He asks

“Are you sure you want to go back to work? I can easily get your sick leave extended“, Michael offers. 

“No, I want to go back“, Will says firmly. “I need structure“

“Yeah, makes sense“, Michael mumbles. Then he begins using his doctor-voice. “You'll get your usual shift back, then. But you will let Austin take the lead, okay? Don't stress yourself too much too soon“

“Understood“, Will says. He's not going to fight about this. Michael is the most stubborn of the Solace kids and Will knows he only means well. 

 

So do Percy and Annabeth. They wake him in the morning so he can have breakfast with them if he wants to and don't judge him if he doesn't. Percy lets Will borrrow his sweaters when he can't sleep because his bed feels cold. Annabeth cuts up fruit whenever she takes a break from working and brings some up to his room. Even Nico takes care of him, even if they're not talking. Will's favorite yogurt shows up in the fridge after he went grocery shopping. The book Will read when he stayed with them the first time appears in the guest bedroom bookshelf. 

And Will is incredibly grateful, but he's too much of a mess to show it. He's busy trying not to cry or burst into a screaming fit, because he's so mad, so angry. At Luke, at himself, at whoever shot him. At whatever cosmic deity had caused this to happen. The tiniest things make him snap. Dropping a spoon. Trying to stab the straw into a juice box. Spilling only a few drops while watering the plants. Small inconveniences cause Will to burst into tears or want to scream and punch the wall. It's exhausting. 

The anger is still there the night he goes back to work. Percy insists on driving him because 'he is home early anyway and the subway is disgusting'. He parks his blue prius in the hospital parking lot. Before Will gets out, Percy lays a hand on his arm.

“You be careful tonight, okay?“

Will nods. 

“And if you feel weird or you feel a panic attack coming on...“ 

“I'll call you“, Will sighs. 

Percy smiles warmly and ruffles his hair.   
“Now get out there and kick some ass!“   
He waves at him as he drives away. Will doesn't know what he did to deserve such amazing friends. 

Austin spots Will as soon as he walks into the station. 

“Will!“ He exclaims and almost trips over a chair as he runs to the door to hug Will. “You're back!“

“Hey“, Will laughs a little and hugs him back. He's only had Luke out of his life for three weeks and he's already doing better with physical contact. 

“So?“ Austin asks as they made some coffee. “How are you feeling?“

“Okay, to be honest“, Will replies and fills his Thermos with coffee. Percy was lovely enough to pick up all of Will's work stuff yesterday, including his uniform. 

“Yeah?“ Austin looks a little unsure. Will has to control himself so he doesn't seem annoyed. Austin just wants to help, he reminds himself. 

“Yes“, he replies as authentically as possible. “And Percy and Michael got me a grief counsellor“

“Oh, bless them“, Austin laughs. He fills his Thermos up to the brink with black coffee, then drinks the rest from the pot. Will snorts. 

“You're going to be able to smell colours if you keep doing that“, he comments. Austin just shrugs. 

“Hey, you ready?“ Lester asks as he enters the room behind them. “Will! You're back, man!“  
He practically throws himself at Will, who almost drops his Thermos and really has to control himself not to yell at Lester. 

“Careful“, he coughs. “Ribs!“

“Oops, sorry!“ Lester lets go of him immediately.   
“We, uh, we gotta get going“

Their shift proceeds exactly the way Will remembers. Lester plays his annoying bad music and refuses to turn it down. Austin protests by loudly singing his favorite songs over whatever the hell Lester's crap was. Will just sits in the back, trying to tune it out. He's jumpy. He tries to play games on his phone, but they end up frustrating him so much he wants to throw his phone. So, he puts it away and sings along. 

“Yeah!“ Austin laughs. “We'll show him! No one needs your shit music, Lester!“

Lester just whacks him up the back of the head. 

They get a call and immediately, the bickering stops. Lester lets Austin turn off the music as he starts the sirens and floors it. 

As soon as he has to work, Will's head clears. He can be calm. He can focus. It's amazing. He's not even sad! He wants to stay in that mode forever, just focussing on his patients, on Austin's orders, on following the instructions he has learned all those years ago. 

But sadly, his shift has to end. And in the morning, in the subway on his way home, the sadness and the anger return. They hit him with full force and there is no way Will can stop them. 

At home, he locks himself away in his room again, sleeping, trying to ignore his feelings and listening to Nico's footsteps on the floor above him. God, he misses Nico. Even more than he misses Luke. At work, that is forgotten. He feels better. So he throws himself into work again the next night.

He goes straight to bed after he comes home, but his nap doesn't last long. He is awoken by someone shaking his shoulder. 

“Will!“ The person whispers. Will's eyes snap open. Nico. He is looking down on him, his black eyes meeting Will's. Will's breathing hitches. He's here. Nico is in his room. They stare at each other for a second, a blush creeping onto their cheeks.   
“You need to get up“, Nico whispers, his hand still on Will's shoulder, warm and heavy. “You have your appointment“

Will nods and sits up. He regrets it instantly, because Nico takes his hand away. The eye contact breaks. His heart is beating.   
“Thanks“, he mumbles and straightens out the big sweater he's sleeping in. It's Percy's. Luke's clothes have started making him uncomfortable. He doesn't know why. 

“I'll let you get ready“, Nico says and stands up, his knees cracking. “See you downstairs“

Will nods and brushes his hair behind his ears. “Thanks“

Nico just flashes him a small smile and leaves, the door quietly closing behind him. Will sits there for a moment, thinking. Since when is Nico talking to him again? He isn't complaining. His heart is still beating. He knows he still has feelings for him, but he did not expect them to be this strong. It's like he can't think about anything else right now. 

“Can we talk things out?“ He asks as soon as they sit down with their respective cereal. He knows he's being blunt and not very elegant, but he doesn't care. He's a mess. And he misses Nico. 

“When you're better“, Nico replies, avoiding his gaze. “Your head needs to be clear“  
He looks at Will and seems to notice his worried expression. “Don't worry. I'll wait“

Will nods slowly. He stirs his cereal, his hands a little shaky.   
“I'm sorry I hurt you“, he blurts out. “I didn't mean to, I didn't even realize until-“

“Will“, Nico interrupts him. “I know. And I'll be fine. Eat your cereal“

Will nods and shoves a spoonful down his throat to avoid any more word-vomit. He didn't mean to say all this. But he doesn't regret it. It had to be said. He can't get Nico's words out of his head: 'I'll be fine'. Not: 'I'm okay'. He's not okay. Will bites down on his tongue. He feels so guilty. And he so desperately wants to fix it. But Nico's right: he needs to fix himself first. 

It turns out that both Percy and Annabeth are out. 

“Running some errands“, Nico says. 

“Okay, I'll take the subway then“, Will mumbles, more to himself. He's not complaining, but Percy has originally offered to drive him so he hasn't looked at any subway connections yet. 

“I'll drive you“, Nico says bluntly after a second of silence. Will looks at him in surprise and he blushes. “Or do you want to go alone?“

“Definitely not“, Will chuckles. He feels so good around Nico. Well, not good, but okay-ish. He's not as angry. And when he looks at Nico, with his messy hair and his big t-shirt just munching on his cereal, it makes him want to smile. He wants to reach out and touch him, his skin, his lips. But he can't, he knows he can't. He needs to get over Luke first. Work through the mess it left him as. And he doesn't even know if Nico still wants that. Wants him. Will only knows that he still wants Nico.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Man writing recovery is hard :D


	32. Chapter 32

“Do you want me to stay and wait for you?“ Nico asks as Will gets off the motorcycle at the doctors office. Will looks at him in surprise. What has gotten into Nico? Yesterday, he was avoiding Will and now this?

“Your choice“, he mumbles and fumbles with his helmet. Nico reaches out and pulls it off Will's head.

“What'd you say? I couldn't hear you with the helmet on“, he says after his is off too. 

“I said it's your choice“, Will repeats. He actually really wants Nico to stay, but he's afraid he might scare him off. 

Nico nods slowly. “I'll accompany you on your way inside, then I'll go home“  
He brushes his hair out of his face and hands Will his helmet. “Take it. I'll pick you up later“

Will just stares at Nico for a moment before he nods. He's so different compared to these last few days. He seems healthier. His confidence is back. He's talking to Will again. Will, of course, isn't complaining, but he does want to know what caused the sudden change. 

“You seem better“, he mumbles as they make their way up the stairs to the doctors office. 

“I am“, Nico replies nonchalantly. He's walking in front of Will, who's struggling a little to keep up. 

“That's good“, he mumbles. “Is there a reason?“

“Well, I was done moping around, so I called Jason and let him talk some sense into me“, Nico explains and starts taking two steps at once. 

“Huh“, Will mumbles. Nico is obviously eager to get him to his destination. He also still closes himself off, Will can feel it. He can't blame him. But at least they're talking again. 

“Here we are“, Nico announces once they have reached the third floor. “Or rather, you“

“Yeah“, Will mumbles. He walks by Nico and to the door, but doesn't ring the doorbell right away.  
“Thanks for giving me a lift“, he says. 

“No problem“, Nico replies. “Call me when you need me to pick you up again“  
Then he's gone. 

Will watches him descend down the stairs, taking two steps at once, his helmet tucked under his arm. Then he turns towards the door again and reads the sign. 

'Dr. H. Zhang-Levesque  
Psychotherapy and counselling'

He takes a deep breath and rings the doorbell. 

The receptionist is a young man whose name tag reads 'Marcus'. Marcus asks Will his name makes him fill out a form, then sits him down in the waiting room. After a few minutes of nervously flipping through magazines and listening to Marcus typing on his keyboard, the door to the actual doctors office opens. Will looks up and sees two people step out:

A young woman with dark skin and poofy caramel hair, who's wearing a purple fifties style dress and black boots.  
And a middle-aged blonde lady in black pants, a white shirt and glasses, who Will first assumes is the doctor. 

Turns out he is wrong. The blonde lady leaves and the younger woman turns towards him. 

“Mr. Solace?“

Will nods awkwardly. She extends a hand. 

“Dr. Zhang-Levesque, pleased to meet you“

He shakes her hand. She leads him into her office, the warm smile never leaving her face. The interior is different than Will expected. Not as... sterile. He only knows hospitals, so seeing a heavy wooden desk and comfortable looking chairs and couch is a bit of surprise. It all looks so personal. Framed photographs on the desk and bookshelves. He immediately feels comfortable here. 

“Have a seat, Mr. Solace“ She points to the chair that's facing hers, the desk between them. Will is a little surprised not to be ordered to the couch, but happily obliges.  
“You were referred to me by your brother, is that correct?“

“Yes“, he nods. “Michael Solace“

“A well known colleague“, she smiles again. “And you are here for grief counselling, I believe?“  
He nods again. She rests her head on her elbows and just looks at him for a second, smiling.  
“Alright“, she says. “I like to begin by getting to know my patients a little. Tell me about yourself“

He raises his eyebrows. “Like what?“

“Anything you think I should know about you at this point“, she replies. 

“Uh... I'm 22, I'm a paramedic, I'm living with friends right now... and my fiance just died“, Will says. For some reason the word 'fiance' leaves a bad taste in his mouth. 

She leans forward a little. “And how long ago was that?“

“A week“, he mumbles. “Feels longer though“

She nods and writes something down. In dainty old-fashioned cursive.  
“Tell me about her“

“Him“, he corrects her and she smiles apologetically. “Luke is- was a police officer. I met him when I was 16 and he saved my life“, he smiles to himself, a bitter little smile, “we fell in love and it was pretty good in the beginning. Then it all kind of became awful and shitty - sorry - but I still said yes when he proposed. He died two weeks later. On duty. Got shot trying to save civilians. People call him a hero“  
Will snorts at his last statement. He can practically taste his own bitterness. 

“I see“, she writes something down again. Even though she isn't saying much and is being very factual, Will feels really comfortable around her. As if she was a friend.  
“What was your relationship like?“

Will picked at his fingernails. “I used to think it was really good, he was my first love and all. But I'm not so sure anymore. In fact, I'm certain it was unhealthy.“

She nods. “And why is that?“

“He used to beat the living shit out of me“, he says wryly. 

“That is pretty unhealthy“, she agrees. “I would definitely classify that as abusive. Did he do anything else?“

Will thought for a moment. “Yes, actually. He- he never asked for consent. I would always feel dirty.“ He pauses for a moment, then quietly adds: “I still do“

“What else?“ She asks. Will is glad she is this professional. It makes it easy for him to open up. He doesn't want to be pitied. 

“He would go through my phone. I wasn't even allowed to have a passcode“, he says. Listing these becomes easy surprisingly easy. All the anger at Luke he has stored inside of him is finally being freed. “I wasn't allowed to get tattoos even though he had some. He would always put me down. He would constantly start fights. He was a god damn alcoholic!“  
Tears have formed in his eyes. His fists are clenched. He's so... angry. At Luke for doing all this to him. And at himself for letting him. 

“That would definitely be classified as abuse“, Dr. Zhang-Levesque says. Hearing that feels weird. It's not the first time, Nico and Percy have said it several times before, but today is the first time Will actually believes it. In retrospect, it's so very obvious! How couldn't he have noticed before? 

“My friends told me that quite a while ago“, Will says quietly. “And I blew it off. God, I was so stupid“

“Don't put yourself down“, she says. “It's completely normal for someone in your situation“

Will nods. He believes her that it's normal, but he still feels dumb. He could have avoided so much fighting, so much pain. If he had just opened his damn eyes! And not just his pain, Nico's as well. His siblings'. Or his damn parents' whom he still hasn't called. 

“Alright“, Dr. Zhang-Levesque writes something down again. “We're going to be talking about your relationship again, but now“, rests her head on her hands again, “let's talk about your loss“

He nods. He really doesn't want to have to think about it again. It's going to make him snap. Cry. Send him into a panic attack. Briefly talking about their relationship has been more than enough for him. Or maybe he'll just feel really bad for days again, with no way to get better, no coping mechanism and no idea when it'll stop. But he has to do this properly. Objectively, he knows it will help him. And he wants to get better, he wants to feel okay again. And if he isn't doing this for him, he's doing in for his family. His friends. Because they were lovely enough to arrange this for him. Because he's hurt Nico with his fucked up ways and he deserves redemption. And Will can't fix whatever they have - had, if he doesn't get himself back on track first. 

“How do you feel now that he's gone?“ Dr. Zhang-Levesque asks, snapping Will out of his thoughts. He stares at the dark wood surface of the desk, shrugging. He doesn't know how to answer. How DOES he feel? Dr. Zhang-Levesque picks up on it.  
“Just name the first things that are on your mind“

“Lonely“, Will says after some more thinking. “The first few days I was just lonely. I kept wearing his clothes and all that“

“You say 'the first few days'. Did it change?“

“Kinda, yeah“, Will tucks a few curls behind his ear. “After I moved in with my friends it got better. I still miss him like crazy but I also feel... free“  
He doesn't even fully realized what he just said until he says it. But it's true. He does feel free without Luke. Sure, the bed is cold but there are also no hands groping him at night. No one to look through his phone. No one threatening him, no one leaving bruises on his skin. No one. A single tear slips out and Will wipes it away. Enough tears were cried over that bastard Luke. He doesn't want to be sad anymore.  
“And at first I was just sad“, he continues, “but now I'm really angry. Like at Luke for hurting me. And at the situation. At everything sometimes“

She nods and takes a few notes. Will takes a few deep breaths. This is taking a lot out of him. He honestly just wants to curl into a ball and sleep. But he knows it's helping. Just this conversation alone has helping him realize things he perhaps would have never learned on his own. 

“One second“, Dr. Zhang-Levesque mumbles and practically floats out of the room, her violet skirt swaying around her calves. 

Will looks around the room a little. There is a framed picture on the desk that faces towards his instead of her chair. Weird. He reaches out and turns it a little further so he can have a proper look at it. It shows Dr. Zhang-Levesque standing next to a tall guy of Asian descent. He has an arm wrapped around her shoulder. Both are wearing army uniforms and happy smiles. Behind him, the door falls shut again and the doctor takes her seat again, now holding a folder. 

“You were in the military“, he says. Maybe this is inappropriate, his conscience reminds him. But the words already left his mouth. 

Dr. Zhang-Levesque smiles and puts the folder on the windowsill behind her. “I was“, she says. “I studied psychology and worked with a lot of traumatized soldiers“

Will points at the man in the photo. “Is that your husband?“

She nods. “He's the reason I specialised in grief counselling“

“Oh, I'm sorry-“

“Oh no, he's not dead, don't worry“, she laughs. “His mother fell two years after he enlisted and the military just... dropped him when he was too distraught to be send back into the field. I helped him, he was able to recover and I went on to open this practice after I was discharged“

“What were you discharged for?“ Will asks then immediately retreats. “Sorry if that's too personal“

“No, no, it's fine“, she smiles warmly. “I was shot and they wouldn't send me back in after my heart transplant“

“Oh“, Will bites his lip. “I'm sorry“

“Don't worry“, she smiles. “I knew the risks“

Will just nods. He doesn't know what else to say. 

“Okay, Mr. Solace“, she says in that 'I'm a doctor'- voice that Will only ever hears Michael use on him. Strangely enough, it makes him like her even more. “Are you familiar with the five stages of grief?“

“A little“, he admits. “I don't know a lot“

“Well, there are five stages: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Not everyone experiences them in this order, some people don't go through some of them at all“, she explains. “You appear to be in the anger stage. Now, I can't tell you how long it's going to last or what is going to be next, but I can offer you some antidepressants to help manage your emotions“

“Don't these just give you fake happiness?“ Will asks. Having been around doctors his whole life, he has learned to trust their judgement and the medication they give him to a certain extent. But he also heard Nico complain about his antidepressants for well over half a year, so he's a little biased. 

“That's a common misconception“, Dr. Zhang-Levesque relies. “They actually give your brain the ability to feel happy again by balancing the chemicals in your neurotransmitters. But of course you don't have to take them if you don't want to“

Will thinks about it for a moment. He doesn't like being on medication. The painkillers for his ribs have been more than enough, thank you very much. But on the other hand he wants to get better. And he's already self-medicating by abusing his painkillers, which he should probably stop doing. So maybe this is a better option. Also, he's seen how much they help Nico. And he so desperately wants to feel okay again. So, he agrees. 

Dr. Zhang-Levesque explains that the antidepressants she is prescribing him are relatively light so they won't make him even more of a mess than he is already while he's still getting used to them. She also advises him to read the warning labels and call him if he has any issues. Will pockets the card she hands him and thanks her. He can't believe it's actually been an hour. It felt longer and shorter at the same time. Will was actually glad it was over. Opening up takes a lot out of him. Allowing himself to agree that Luke was abusive even more. He just wants to sleep now. 

He somehow makes it outside and down the stairs while holding back tears. Not just tears of sadness, also relief and mostly just exhaustion. So much exhaustion. But he also feels good. It's great to have gotten some things off his chest. He feels lighter. Almost okay. And right now, Will decides, that's good enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pls give me feedback idk how I feel about this yet


	33. Chapter 33

Nico doesn't say anything when he arrives, he just motions for Will to mount the bike. Will's heart is beating against his ribcage when he wraps his arms around Nico's waist. He's pretty sure he's blushing on the whole way home. Nico's cheeks are flushed as well when he takes off the helmet. 

“Thanks“, Will mumbles when his is gone too. Nico didn't have to help him this time. 

Nico just gives him a small smile and starts making his way out of the basement garage and up to the house. Will follows him a second later, cheeks still warm. 

He doesn't hide away in his room this time, he doesn't feel a need to. Instead, he grabs his ukulele and sits on the deck, just humming and plucking a few strings. He feels okay. Not 100%, but he can deal with it. It's getting better. He's getting better. He can hear the neighbors fighting again. They're screaming. A glass shatters. A few seconds later, the front door slams shut. It's over. He left, like he always does. And she's crying up at the window again. That used to be him. One day, when he's better, he's going to go over to their house and talk to the girl. See if she's doing okay. But for now, he can only listen and be ready to call the police if he has to. 

He doesn't even notice Annabeth has come outside until she sits next to him, a bowl of cereal in her hand. She's wearing one of Percy's sweaters and denim shorts. Her hair is pinned up with a pencil, a few strands framing her face. Will is certain that if he were into girls, he would look at her the same way Percy always does: heart eyes. 

“How was your session?“ She asks, mouth full of cereal. 

“Really good, actually“, Will replies. He plucks a few strings, not a melody, just a way to keep his hands busy. “She prescribed me some antidepressants“

“That's good, I guess“, she replies, stuffing her mouth with cereal again. A trail of milk runs down her chin. 

“Yup“, Will mumbles and plucks a few more strings. They sit in comfortable silence for moment. 

“So, I've been meaning to ask“, Annabeth speaks up again. “When do you want us to come with you to clean out your apartment? It's almost the end of the month and you'd be saving rent if you get it over with soon“

Will puts down his ukulele and turns to look at her. “What do you mean, clean out the apartment?“ 

“Aren't you staying with us?“, she asks, then turns towards him with a shocked expression. “Don't tell me you want to move back in there. Will!“, she shook his arm. He blinked. 

“No, I... I don't want to go back, I just haven't thought about it yet“, he says. “I don't want to be a burden to you guys“

“Oh, shut up, you're not a burden“, she lightly rubbed his arm, then grabbed her cereal again. “We talked about it earlier and we all want you to move in“

“Even Nico?“ Will asks in disbelief. Annabeth leans in a little. 

“Nico especially“, she whispers. “Just don't tell him I told you“

Will smiles to himself. “He's talking to me again“, he mumbles. 

“You guys really need to talk things out“, Annabeth mumbles and munches on her cereal. Will can hear The Crunch even as he picks up his ukulele again. 

“Hey Annabeth?“, he asks after a moment of crunch and ukulele. 

“Hmm?“

“Thank you“, he says. “For taking care of me like this, even though you barely know me“

She smiles warmly. “Don't you worry“, she says and wraps an arm around his shoulders, rubbing his arm lightly. “You're family. We'll all always be there for you“

 

Will remembers what Annabeth said about Nico when he encounters him in the kitchen the next day. Will comes downstairs from his post-work nap and finds Nico sitting on the counter with his phone in one hand and a juice box in the other. 

“Hey“, he says softly. Nico looks up. 

“Hey“

Will makes his way over to the fridge and grabs a juice box, too. Definitely a displacement activity. 

“How was your appointment?“ Nico asks, eyes fixated on his phone. 

“Pretty good. We talked a lot. She prescribed me some antidepressants“, Will replies and stabs the straw into his juice box. It's apple juice. 

“Talked about what?“ Nico looks up, his black eyes meeting Will's. Will shivers. 

“Luke, mostly. That he was an abusive bastard“, Will replies with a hint of bitterness. But he's glad he has been able to realize this. 

“Well, congratulations on being the last one to notice“, Nico says wryly, but his eyes have a little twinkle to them. “How are you feeling?“

“Okay“, Will says. He means it. Right now, he's pretty much okay, given the circumstances. He's safe, he's around people he loves, his ribs are fine. He's okay. “You?“

He expects Nico's usual 'I can manage' but no.   
“I'm good“, Nico replies with a small smile. That's much better. Will is glad to hear it. 

“We, uh“, he begins, then drinks a little juice just out of awkwardness. “We should talk things out sometime“

“Yeah...“, Nico mumbles. “Talking things out isn't really my thing, you know?“

“I know“, Will chuckles a little. “You just wait and hope for the best“

“Yeah“, Nico laughs a little. “Not the most ideal tactic“

Will chuckles again. He's glad they can talk again. Even laugh together. Surely, it'll be okay. 

“Well, how about now?“ Nico suddenly asks, completely catching Will off guard. 

“What?“ He asks back, even though he knows exactly what Nico means. 

“Talk“, Nico spells it out for him. “Can we can do that now“

“Uh, sure“, Will says, a little overwhelmed. He actually can't wait to get it over with. But that doesn't change the fact he's nervous as hell. 

Nico hops off the counter, graceful as a cat. “Then let's talk“

They go outside, on the deck. Because it's a nice day and also neutral territory. 

“So“, Will says after they sat down. He's freaking out. 

“So“, Nico echoes, seemingly just as nervous. 

“Yeah.“ Will sighs. “I'll start, okay?“  
Nico nods in agreement. Will takes a deep breath. He kinda wishes he had taken notes beforehand. Talking isn't his thing, either.   
“Okay, I know I hurt you“, he begins. “A lot. And I'm sorry“  
Nico opens his mouth but Will raises a hand. “No, don't tell me it's okay, because it's not, I know that“  
Nico closes his mouth again.   
“I really regret messing things up between us. I only thought of my own feelings and of pleasing Luke, even though that's not what I wanted...“, Will laughs a little, shaking his head in disbelief. His feelings for Luke seemed so silly now. How could he have not realized how unhealthy they were?  
“And I want to make things right“, he continues. “Because I like you. Like, really like you. And it's okay if you just want to be friends, as long as we don't hate each other.“ Barely audible, he adds: “I couldn't live with myself if I hurt you so bad it made you hate me“

“I don't hate you“, Nico mumbles, staring at his hands. “I really like you, actually. A lot. But I'm conflicted. I don't want you to come back to me just because Luke is gone“

“That's not why I'm back“, Will whispers. 

“I know“, Nico replies, his voice faint. Will can barely hear him. “But I'm not ready to make a commitment or anything to you yet. I need time to heal. You do, too, I think“

Will chews on his lip. This has gone better than he expected, but still, he's a little disappointed. He just wants things to finally be alright.   
“So, friends?“ He asks quietly. 

Nico reaches out over the table and takes his hand. He squeezes it, then lets go.   
“Friends. Until we're ready“

The nightmares start that day. Will goes to take his afternoon nap like he always does (“Your sleeping schedule is terrible, Will. You can't just divide your eight hours, you moron“, Michael would say) and unknowingly starts a horror movie in his head. It's just bits and pieces, mostly memories. Memories of Luke. And what he did. Will can't wake up, he has to relive all of it; the screaming, the hitting, slapping, punching. The being held down. The begging him to stop. The pet names. It's all there. It's haunting him.  
He can't seem to shake the anxiety it left in him over the next few days. The dreams hit him every time he falls asleep. 

“Maybe it's your antidepressants“, Percy guesses when Will tells him. “I heard that some of them can give you night terrors“

Will shrugs and takes another sip of his coffee. With Luke keeping him up all day he's constantly tired.   
“I'm gonna as Dr. Zhang-Levesque about it next week“, he mumbles. “For now, I can manage“

“We could go to your apartment this weekend“, Percy changes the subject. Will is glad he says 'we', even though he originally told them they definitely didn't have to come. All three of them had just snorted and replied something along the lines of 'are you nuts? Of course we're coming'.

“Yeah“, Will agrees, too tired for long speeches. 

“Maybe you shouldn't go to work, you seem really exhausted“, Percy says, tilting his head to the side a little. 

“No, no, I'm fine“, Will assures him. “I need work. It keeps my head clear“

Percy looks at him for a long second, then sighs. “Fine. But you can always call, okay?“

Will smiles up at him. “I know. Thank you“

Percy smiles and ruffles his hair. “I'm sure it will be okay, Will. Everything will be okay“

 

They actually do manage to get everyone together in the same place at the same time for once so they can go to the apartment. Percy has packed trash bags and tools, Annabeth prepared juice boxes and sandwiches and Will prepared himself. Nico simply brings his fluffy knitted cardigan and what he claims to be 'a moderately good mood'. Will is just glad he even joined them. They all get into Percy's car and the half an hour drive through the New York traffic is definitely not enough time for Will to calm down. 

“Relax“, Nico mumbles next to him and lays a hand on his forearm. “We're all here. It'll be okay“

Will does relax a little. Nico's right. It'll be okay. 

He loses that mindset as soon as Percy parks the car. Just seeing the building makes him jumpy and anxious. He feels physically sick by the time he's unlocking the door. Nico rubs his shoulder when he steps inside. Here he is again.


	34. Chapter 34

It still reeks like smoke in here. The smell is in the wallpaper, the carpet, the furniture, everywhere. Will resists the urge to gag. Behind him, Nico coughs. 

“Jesus“, he mumbles. “This is how you lived?“

“Yep“, Will replies, trying to cheer himself up a little. It doesn't work. The others leave him some space as he walks down the hall, tracing his fingers over the dents in the wall. Luke punched it here, pushed him there. A splatter of blood near the bedroom door. Whiskey stains. Will has to hold back tears. Everything comes flooding back to him now. This place was his own personal hell and now he has to deal with all of it and he can't, he just cannot - 

“Hey“, Nico mumbles from behind him. He lays his hand on Will's forearm. “Hey, it's okay. I'm here. You're not alone“  
Will nods. Nico reaches up and wipes away a tear. “Do you need a hug?“

Will nods again. Nico gets on his tippy toes and wraps his arms around Will's neck, his forehead resting on Will's shoulder. Will pulls him closer, needing the warmth and the comfort. Safe. They stay like this for a few seconds, calm and quiet until Will pulls away. He takes a deep breath.   
“Let's get this shit over with“

They begin with the kitchen, because it's closest to the front door and because it seems like the easiest for Will to take on. There isn't really much to take with them in here anyway. 

“Oh geez“, Percy says when he opens one of the cupboards and finds Luke's collection of liquor bottles. Most of them are empty. Annabeth crouches down next to him. 

“Oh, wow!“ She mumbles and looks up at Will. “How on earth did you manage to put up with this?“

“I didn't“, he says wryly. She smiles softly, then uses Percy's shoulder to get back up. 

“How about Percy and I take the kitchen and pack all the dishes, cutlery and pots? We could always use that“

Will nods. “And the kettle. You guys don't have one. And the coffee machine is garbage“

Annabeth nods. Nico lays a hand on Will's shoulder. 

“Living room?“

Will nods. 

The living room is a little tougher, mostly because of all the photographs. Will notices himself going numb as he stares at them. They don't invoke any emotion at all. Nico shoots him a worried glance. 

“You okay?“ 

Will nods. In slow motion, he moves towards the wall of pictures, takes a single one of the wall and puts it on the coffee table face down. “Fucking stellar“, he says dryly. 

Nico snorts. “Let's get started, then“  
He joins Will in taking the framed photos off the walls. “Do you want to keep those?“

“Hell no. I'm gonna give them all to his mother“, Will mumbles and chucks the post-chemo photo onto the pile. A few frames fall off the table. Nico curses under his breath and picks them back up. Will expects him to put them back on the pile but he just stands there and looks at them. Then he picks up another one from the pile and another one.   
“Nico“, Will finally intervenes. Nico almost drops the photographs. 

“Sorry“, he mumbles and puts them back down. “I just... I've never seen you this young“

Will nods slowly. He suddenly realizes it's not just Luke on these pictures, he's there too. If he throws all of these away, he has nothing documenting his growing-up. He stares down at the pictures he's holding, thinking.   
“Maybe I should keep some photos“, he mumbles. “Of me, you know“

“Yeah“, Nico agrees. “And we could cut him out of a few“

Will nods. “Have a little arts and craft day“

Nico chuckles. “Exactly“

Will watches him take a few more frames off the wall. He's glad they are so comfortable with each other again. Nico can even touch him again! It's going great. Will is so glad to have him here with him. He's pretty sure he would not be able to do this without him. 

They deem most of the furniture to be trash, except the bookshelf and its books, most of which belong to Will. By late afternoon, Percy and Annabeth have finished the kitchen, while Will and Nico got through most of the living room. 

“I suggest we come back tomorrow morning so we can get this all done over this weekend“, Annabeth suggests when they meet up between trash bags and piles of things in the living room. Everyone turns to look at Will. He nods. 

“Well, traffic is going to be a bitch“, Percy mumbles. 

“I could stay overnight to clear out the bedroom“, Will proposes, following a strange instinct. He really doesn't want to stay here, but he oh so desperately wants to get it over with that he's willing to do such a thing.   
They others all look at him in surprise. He shrugs.

“I'll stay with you if you want“, Nico offers quietly.

“I'd love that“, Will mumbles. Nico affectionately bumps his shoulder against him. Percy and Annabeth both give Will the exact same look of worry before nodding slowly. 

“What about dinner?“ Percy asks. Nico opens his mouth but Will lays a hand on his arm. 

“I know just the place“

 

“Will!“ Silena exclaims when they enter the cafe. 

“Hey“, he laughs and lets her hug him. This place always makes him feel good, even if it brings memories of Luke. 

“And who's this?“ She asks, taking a good look on Nico, who seems a little nervous. 

“That's Nico“, Will introduces him. Silena smiles brightly. 

“Your table?“ 

Will nods. Silena leads them to the table he used to sit at with Luke. It feels good to see Nico take a seat right where he used to sit. Like he's erasing Luke from his mind and filling it with new, with better memories. 

“This place is really nice“, Nico says as they are looking through the menu. More specifically, he is. Will already knows it by heart. 

“Isn't it?“ He smiles, happy to have brought Nico into his little world. 

“How did you find this place?“ Nico asks, looking up for a second and then answers the question himself when he sees Will's face. “Luke.“

Will nods. “During 'good' times“ He puts the 'good' in air quotes. “But I really like it here. I was here almost every day while we weren't talking“

“Huh“, Nico replies and looks back at his menu. “Bagel or wrap?“

“Bagel“, Will replies. “And you have to try the nectar“

“The what, now?“

“It's their special tea. It's amazing“

Nico snorts. “Special tea? Is that a pun?“

Will laughs. Silena floats over to their table. “You boys ready?“

Will looks over at Nico, who nods. Silena pulls her pen out from behind her ear. After she's taken their orders - Nico does order nectar - she leans down and asks Will:

“How are you holding up?“ 

“I'm doing well, actually“, Will mumbles. It's true. He's pretty much okay right now. But we'll see how he's doing once they get back to the apartment.   
“And you?“

Silena smiles warmly and squeezes his shoulder. “Don't you worry about me“ 

Charlie calls her from the counter and she quickly disappears, flashing them another smile over her shoulder. 

“Wow, she's great“, Nico mumbles. Will simply nods, then he recognizes the undertone in his voice. 

“Is that... jealousy, Neeks?“

Nico blushes a little. “No...“

Will just chuckles and pokes him in the cheek. Nico squeaks. Cute. 

“They don't even know what he was like“, Will mumbles. “Silena and Charlie. Everyone thinks he was some kind of hero, but he was so fucked up“

“You can always make it known“, Nico replies, fumbling with his napkin. 

Will watches him play with the lilac fabric, thinking for a moment. “I could, yeah. But I don't really want to. For some reason, I feel like it's better left unsaid. It's enough that I know“

“Whatever you wanna do, I'll support it“, Nico smiles. A ray of sunshine falls on his face, turning his black eyes into a soft brown. Will can feel the warmth on its own face too.   
“Sunshine boy“, Nico mumbles. Will blushes. 

Silena appears out of nowhere. She sets their mugs down in front of them, squeezes Will's shoulder, then she's gone again. Nico takes a sip and smiles. 

“Good, isn't it?“ Will asks him. He nods and drinks some more.

“Let's not talk about Luke anymore“, Will decides. Judging from Nico's expression, he agrees. “But it's nice that I can talk about him now. You know, without crying“ 

“Recovery feels good, doesn't it?“ Nico mumbles, the sun still shining on him. He squints. 

Will nods. “The antidepressants are helping, I think. Even though I know I'm not adjusted to them yet“

“Oh shit, did you bring them with you?“ 

“No“, Will frowns. “Damm. I'll text Percy to bring them when they come tomorrow“

“Also, boxes.“

“Good point“

Silena comes, carrying their food. She doesn't have time to talk, just puts the plates down and disappears again. 

“Thanks!“ Will calls after her. She blows him a kiss, laughing. Nico scowls a little.  
“You ARE jealous“

Nico just sticks his tongue out at him. 

 

Not even returning to the apartment can bring Will's good mood down today. They kick their shoes in the corner, open all the windows and manage to dig up some fresh toothbrushes from the very back of the bathroom cupboard. 

“Jesus, it's hot in here“, Will complains as he steps into the bedroom. Even with the window wide open the summer heat is almost unbearable. 

“Sorry“, Nico says as he slips past him. Will laughs. He likes that confidence. Nico should wear it more often, it suits him. 

“Which side do you want?“ Nico asks, his jeans already off. 

Will points to the side closer to the window, it's always been his and wiggles out of his pants. Next to him, Nico pulls off his shirt in one swift motion, then promptly collapses on the mattress. Will stares at him for a moment. It feels strange to see him in Luke's place - again - but a good kind of strange. Like a visualization of recovery. 

“There's only one blanket“, Will realizes as he climbs into bed. He's still wearing his shirt and it's already too warm. “Do you want me to try and find another one?“

Nico shakes his head. “It's too hot for blankets. Also, sharing one is cute“ 

Will blushes a little. After some thinking and some more sweating he decides to take his shirt off. Nico has seen it before, at least kind of, and it's warm. He's still insecure about it, it's softness and the scar still bother him, but it seems like nothing compared to Luke's death. He can deal with it pretty well. He just needs to get used to it. 

It's almost dark now. They lay there in comfortable silence, the blanket loosely draped over them. Nico's scent is stronger than Luke's, covering it up almost completely. Memories of Luke are all over this bed, this room, this apartment, all over Will. But they feel distant now that Nico is here. They don't really bother Will anymore. 

“Hey Neeks?“, he whispers. 

“Hmm?“ 

“Thank you“

Nico rolls over, facing Will. Will turns his head to look at him.   
“Thank me for what?“

“For being there for me“, Will whispers. His cheeks are burning hot. Thank god Nico can barely see him right now. “I've never had someone like you in my life“

“Me neither“, Nico mumbles. Will can hear that he's smiling. He feels Nico fingers trace down his arm, stopping at the back of his hand. “You're special, Will“

Will turns his hand, catching Nico's and holding it. He rolls over to face him. “I wish I didn't hurt you... who knows where we would be right now... I ruined that.“ 

Nico slides a little closer, bunching the blanket between them. Will can feel his breath on his lips. His heart is beating like crazy. He runs his thumb over Nico's. Nico smiles, his eyes half closed already. God, they are tired. It's been a long day. 

“So what“, Nico mumbles. “We're going to make this work“. His eyes slowly fall shut. It's dark now. Traffic can be heard in the distance. Cars honking, sirens. Will would give anything to stay in this moment forever.   
“We're going to make it work“, Nico repeats. He squeezes Will's hand one last time, then he's fallen asleep. 

Will drifts into sleep only seconds later. He has no nightmares tonight.


	35. Chapter 35

Will wakes up with Nico sprawled across his chest. He reaches over to turn off the alarm he's set last night, slowly enough not too wake Nico. Nico wakes up anyway. No wonder, there has been an alarm going off after all. 

“Morning“, he mumbles in that raspy morning voice. 

“Morning“, Will mumbles back, finally managing to shut up his alarm.  
“We have about twenty minutes till the others are here“

“Long enough for two quick showers“, Nico mumbles. He finally opens his eyes. “Or one slightly longer one“

“Didn't you say something about taking things slow?“ Will teases him, though he's definitely not complaining. 

“I am“, Nico mumbles back, blinking a few times. “Can't you see how slow I am?“

Will laughs, his shaking chest makes Nico grumble. “C'mon sleepy head. Shower time“

“Are you comfortable with this?“ Nico asks him five minutes later. They are standing in the bathroom, both just in their boxers, neither of them fully awake yet. 

Will doesn't give himself time to overthink it. “Hell yeah“

Nico smiles, his eyes twinkling. Then he slips off his underwear and steps into the shower cabin. Will takes a deep breath and follows. While he gets the water warm and running, Nico searches through the shampoo bottles. He picks up Luke's. 

“Men's shampoo is ridiculous“, he says and reads the label out loud. “Shampoo, conditioner and body wash, all in one. Also motor oil, dish soap, flu medication and a love potion“

Will laughs. The water is finally warm. Nico puts the bottle back down and picks up one of Will's, squirting it into his palm. Will holds out his hand and also receives a blob of peachy slime. They wash their hair in silence. 

“You're feeling better about your chest“, Nico notes after rinsing out his hair. It's become so long, it's down to under his shoulder blades now. 

“I am“, Will replies, holding his head under the water. 

“This is the first time I'm actually seeing it“, Nico mumbles. “I love those freckles“

Will blushes a little. He's done with his hair now. Nico carefully reaches up to touch him, but stops a few inches away. He looks Will in the eyes, silently asking for permission. Will nods. Nico closes the gap, tracing his fingers along the hundreds of freckles on Will's skin. 

“I used to hate them“, Will says quietly. “My whole chest“

“Why?“ Nico asks, not taking his eyes off his chest. 

“It's so soft, I always wanted muscles. And the freckles make me look like a child“, Will explains, watching Nico's every move. This actually feels really good.

“I like the softness“, Nico says firmly, running both of his hands down Will's chest until he reaches the scar. His fingers linger just above it, as if he's scared to touch it. 

“Go ahead“, Will mumbles and Nico's fingers slowly start moving again. Will closes his eyes as they brush over the scar tissue, he can feel parts of it, other parts are numb. His scar has not been touched in a long time. So this is what being okay feels like, he guesses. 

“Can you feel that?“ Nico asks, his voice barely audible over the sound of the running water. 

“Parts of it“, Will whispers. “Feels good. Amazing, actually“

Nico chuckles lightly. His fingers leave Will, who opens his eyes to see Nico lean down before he presses the softest of kisses to the thick, pink scar. Will wants to cry. Out of happiness. This is the best he's felt in a long, long time. 

 

Percy and Annabeth arrive just after they got dressed. Percy drops a stack of cardboard boxes in the middle of the hallway, causing Annabeth to sigh and kick them into a corner. 

“Good morning“, she greets them, giving them both a hug, then immediately pushes past him and into the living room. “Let's get to work“

“She likes to get shit done“, Percy explains.

“We know“, Will and Nico say in unison. The three of them share a little laugh.

There isn't a lot left to get done in the living room, except putting stuff into boxes. Percy balances Annabeth on his shoulders so she can take down the rainbow flag Luke has nailed above the couch. Will and Nico share a quick smile every now and then, both blushing whenever they brushed by each other to grab more books. They sort out everything; either into trash bags or boxes, either for Will to take or as garbage or donations. By noon, they are done with the kitchen and the living room. 

“I think I'm gonna go get some takeout for lunch“, Percy announces after tying up the last bag. “Does anyone wanna come and help me carry?“

“Yeah“, Nico says and gets up from where he was crouching to look under the couch. He doesn't seem to have found anything. “I need to get some air. This place is a damn smokebox“

Everyone nods in agreement. They've all been coughing a little. Will and Annabeth are left behind in the living room, both completely silent. Will because this is tiring him, Annabeth because she's in a really weird mood today, actually. Will wonders why. Is something up? 

“Wanna start clearing out the bedroom?“ She asks, wiping her hands on her overall. 

“Sure“, Will agrees. She nods and begins stepping over the boxes. 

Since the bedroom is pretty small, they pretty much only have to clear out the closet. Will has already decided last night not to keep ANY of Luke's clothes. Why should he? He's done with it. As they are putting them into trash bags for donation, Will finally breaks the silence between them. 

“Is something wrong? You seem off“

Annabeth is silent for a moment, just stuffing a sweatshirt into the bag with harsh motions. “I felt really sick this morning“

“Sorry to hear that“, Will says and puts Luke's NYPD shirt aside. He's going to give that to Ethan. They seemed really close. And civilians can't wear it, so he can't donate it. 

Annabeth grabs his arm and he looks at her. “My period is irregular as it is and now it's late. Do you realize what morning sickness could mean?“ She says seriously.

“Oh shit“, Will realizes. 

“Yeah“, she says and drops her arm. Then she starts punching Luke's clothes into the bag again. 

“Annabeth“, Will says. She keeps on punching. “Annie!“  
She looks up. Will has never seen her this upset.  
“Annabeth, what's wrong?“

“It's just-“ she begins and chokes back a sob. “What if Percy doesn't want? Are we even ready? Am I ready?“

“Hey, look at me“, Will says, grabbing her by the shoulders and gently turning her towards him. “If you are pregnant, would you want this child?“

She nods without hesitation. “Yes“

“There you have it“, Will smiles. “And I am 100% sure Percy does to“, he says when she opens her mouth. “You guys will figure it out. Okay?“  
She nods. Will has defeated her worries. Nice.  
“And first you need to find out if you actually are pregnant? Don't you guys use protection?“

“Yes, but nothing except wearing crocs is 100% safe“, Annabeth mumbles. Will laughs and pulls her into a hug. 

“You guys will figure this out. It'll be okay“

She nods against his shoulder and sniffles a little. Will rubs her back soothingly.  
“C'mon, let's get back to work“, she mumbles after a moment and Will lets her go. 

They finish Luke's side of the closet in comfortable silence, with Will humming a little tune. He carries the bags into the living room while Annabeth starts with his side. 

“Is this really your style?“ She asks skeptically, holding up two of Will's big ass hoodies. 

Will shakes his head. “Luke always put me down, so I just wore things he wouldn't tease me for. You should see my pinterest, it looks pretty different from what you see here“

“God damn shit fuck“, Annabeth says as she tosses the sweaters onto the unmade bed. “Fucking hell. I can't believe that maniac messed up your life like that“  
Will doesn't know what to reply. He doesn't even need to, because Annabeth just keeps speaking.  
“Controlling what you WEAR? What the fuck? Will, how about you only keep what you actually like and we're going shopping?“

Will blinks a few times. “I'd love that... but where would I be getting the money for that?“

Annabeth turns to face him, a satisfied look on her face. “Will, I'm going to introduce you to a wonderful thing called 'thrift stores'“

Will has just finished picking out the clothes he's going to keep when Percy and Nico arrive with the food. 

“Oh thank the lord“, Annabeth exclaims and runs to meet them at the door. “Food!“ 

“Careful, wise girl!“ Percy laughs and holds the two boxes he's holding up high so she can't reach them. Nico slides past her as she begins poking Percy in the chest, making him laugh. 

“C'mon, sunshine boy“, he says to Will, who's waiting at the bedroom door. “I have ours“

They all eat in the living room, sitting on boxes, next to boxes and in a box (Nico). The mood is light, everyone is laughing and joking and having a blast. Will can't remember the last time this apartment was filled with such joy. He's glad he's doing this with them. He looks at Percy on his box, with Annabeth sitting between his legs, enjoying their noodles. And at Nico in his big cardboard box, with his messy hair and sparkling eyes. And he realizes that this recovery he's experiencing right now is truly the best time of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a short one bc im having a rough time like my wisdom tooth is coming through and im basically dying and my grandma is in the hospital again so writing is a bit of a chore but im trying to finish this story soon


	36. Chapter 36

“Feels good, doesn't it?“ Nico asks. 

Will nods. They are standing in his new room in between boxes and disassembled furniture. He's just gotten off the phone with his landlord. The apartment is now empty and no longer his. All of Luke's things are stored in the basement, ready to be driven to either the donation center or Mrs Castellan's house. And then it's all gone. Forever.   
“I'm free“, Will whispers. He laughs. “I'm finally free! It's over!“ 

“It is!“ Nico agrees, grinning. He tackles Will with a hug, making the both of them fall back onto the bed. Will laughs and pulls him close.   
“I'm so happy for you“, Nico mumbles into the crook of his neck, tickling his skin. 

Will responds by lightly squeezing him. He remembers what Nico said after their talk a few days ago, that they both need time to heal until they are ready for a relationship. Will was disappointed at first, but now he's grateful for it. He's done a lot of healing in the last few days and he honestly feels a lot better but he knows he's not there yet. He still has nightmares. Thinking of Luke still makes him feel things - pain, mostly. He still feels pretty empty inside most of the time. But he's getting better. So is Nico. He's more relaxed, he touches Will more comfortably. He laughs a lot. And Will is glad. Nico means so much to him, both as a friend and as his crush because let's face it, he definitely has a strong crush on this small dark goblin boy in his arms. 

 

“So, Annabeth“, Will asks as they have lunch together the next day. “How come you still haven't done a pregnancy test?“ 

“Because I'm busy“, Annabeth defends herself. “And scared“, she adds quietly, picking apart her salmon. These lunches have become a little tradition between them. When Nico and Percy are at work, the two of them cook together and have a little bonding time. 

“I'm sure it'll be okay“, Will assures her. “Plus, you need to know if you're pregnant if you want to keep taking the pill. I, uh, I did some research“, he adds when Annabeth looks at him in surprise. 

She nods slowly. “You're probably right“ 

Silence. 

“I was thinking of maybe inviting over my siblings for dinner at some point“, Will changes the subject. “You know, so you can all meet each other and because I haven't really done anything with them in quite some time“

“Sounds great, I'm sure the others would love that“, Annabeth mumbles. She seems a little distracted, but who can blame her? She has a lot on her plate as it is and the possibility of a pregnancy is probably a lot to bear. Will is just glad she has Percy on her side, who loves her unconditionally. He knows they'll always be there for each other. 

 

Will gets a surprising message that afternoon. He just finished assembling all his furniture and is in the middle of putting his things into it when his phone beeps. 

'Its Ethan. We should have coffee sometime :)'

Will blinks in surprise. He has to admit, he has actually forgotten Ethan exists for a while. And now he wants to meet up? Why? Probably to talk about Luke, he realizes. They both were pretty close to him, after all. 

'Sure when are you free?' Will texts back. He didn't make Ethan out to be a fast texter but turns out he's wrong, because his phone beeps only seconds after Will sent his message. 

'Late afternoon? Like 4 PM?'

'Ya sure and where?'

'Cabin Nr. 10?'

 

Silena directs Will to his usual table where Ethan is already waiting. 

“Sorry, am I late?“ He asks as he sits down. Ethan shakes his head. 

“I was just early“

Silena comes over to take their orders, saving Will from having to answer. He orders nectar, like he always does, while Ethan gets a black coffee. Will has to suppress a snort. He can tell Ethan is a bitter person, but this seems beyond edgy to him. 

“I actually brought something for you“, he says when Silena is gone. He reaches into his bag and pulls out Luke's NYPD shirt, folded and tucked into a little plastic bag. He hasn't washed it, so it still holds Luke's scent. 

“Oh wow“, Ethan mumbles as he takes it into his hands. His fingers are shaking a little. He sniffles. “Thank you“

“All of his other clothes will be donated“, Will mumbles. “Tell me if you want any of his stuff“

“These are enough, thank you“, Ethan smiles a little. He has opened the bag and is now running a single finger over the fabric. 

“Do you miss him?“ Will asks after a moment of silence. Ethan nods. 

“Of course. Don't you?“

“There's a lot about Luke you don't know“, Will mumbles. He didn't mean to say it. But he feels like Ethan deserves to know the truth. Or at least parts of it. 

Ethan seems to understand. “Like what?“

Will takes a deep breath. “Luke was messed up. Like REALLY messed up“

“You guys talking about Luke?“ Silena asks from beside them. She sets down their mugs. “God rest his soul“

Will suddenly makes a decision. “Silena, do you have a moment? There's something you should know“, he looks at Ethan. “Both of you“

Silena seems a little surprised. She looks around the room, then pulls up a chair and sits at their table. “What is it?“

And Will just tells them. He just does it. About the drinking, the fighting, the violence. That Luke wouldn't accept a no. That Will has never been able to trust him. He leaves out the gruesome details, like the injuries themselves or exact numbers. When he finishes, Ethan and Silena stare at him in shock. 

“Oh my god, Will“, she whispers after a moment. “I'm so sorry“

Will just smiles weakly. He wants to say something like 'it's okay' but he knows it's not. So, he just stays quiet. 

“What's the worst he's done to you?“ Ethan asks, face blank, just staring at his coffee.

“Broke six of my ribs“, Will says. He's done with sugarcoating any of it. Ethan asked, here's an answer. 

“Shit“, Ethan mumbles. Silena just nods. 

“Sorry to drop that on you guys, I just thought you deserved to know“

“No, it's okay“, Silena mumbles. “I just would have never thought...“

“Me neither“, Ethan whispers. “Is that why you moved out?“

“Yeah. After the ribs“

“He told me you met someone else and just left“, Ethan mumbles. 

Will snorts. “Figures“

Silence. 

“Thank you for telling me“, Ethan finally says. It seems sincere. 

“Yeah, I'm glad you told us“, Silena agrees. The phone behind the counter rings. “Excuse me, boys“, Silena gets up and squeezes Will's shoulder as she walks past him.

Will and Ethan sit in silence for a moment.   
“Do you still live in your apartment?“ Ethan asks. Will shakes his head. 

“I moved in with friends. A house, few streets away“

“Nice“

More silence. Not awkward, more like resignation. Will sips his tea. Ethan stares at his coffee. Their silentness eventually evolves into chitchat about their respective work, music and movies. Not a single word is spoken about Luke.

When Will arrives home, he first realizes how good he feels. Telling Ethan and Silena about who Luke really was has lifted a huge weight of his shoulders. He doesn't have to carry this secret anymore. It's like Luke no longer has a way of controlling him; his life and his emotions. He's free. 

“I'm home!“, he loudly announces when he shuts the front door behind him. 

“Will?“ Annabeth calls from upstairs. 

“Yeah!“

“Can you come here?“ 

“Sure!“ Will kicks off his shoes and jogs up the stairs. “Where are you?“

“Bathroom“ She sounds like she's been crying. Will finds her sitting on the bathroom floor, eyes indeed red. He crouched down. 

“Hey, what's wrong?“

She just hands him something. Is it a fever thermometer? No. A pregnancy test. Will squints. One line. It's negative. Oh. 

“How are you feeling?“ Will is a little concerned. 

“I don't know... I really want a child, but I know we're not ready. I'm not ready“, she admits. Will sits down on the floor next to her.

“Huh“, he doesn't know what to say.  
He holds out an arm and she leans into his side. “But are you okay?“

“Yeah, yeah, I'm fine“ She sniffles. 

“Does Percy know?“

She shakes her head. “But I'll tell him“  
She gnaws on her lip. Will rubs her arm soothingly. He turns the pregnancy test in his fingers.  
“Correct me if I'm wrong, but I am literally holding your pee in my hand, aren't I?“

She laughs a little. “Yeah“

Will snorts. “Lovely“

 

Percy and Nico come home at almost the same time today. Annabeth and Will are in the kitchen, she's preparing dinner, he's making a sandwich to take on his night shift. Nico is home first. They can tell it's Nico because he is the only one who doesn't call out that he's home. Even Annabeth does it. 

“Hey sunshine boy. Hey smartass“, he greets them when he enters the kitchen. 

“Hey Neeks“, Will smiles. Annabeth just hums, not even looking up from chopping paprika. Nico gives her a worried look but doesn't say anything. The front door is being unlocked.

“Guess who's home?“ Percy calls, then the door falls shut. 

“Oh no, it's you!“ Nico exclaims in fake shock. Percy laughs. He enters the kitchen and makes a beeline straight for Annabeth, wrapping an arm around her from behind and pressing a kiss to her neck. Will and Nico exchange glances. Both blush. 

“I'm gonna take a shower“, Percy mumbles. “You joining me?“

“Sure“, Annabeth mumbles back. She lets the vegetables be and follows Percy upstairs. 

“Disgusting!“ Nico shouts after them, laughing. 

“You're just jealous!“ Percy shouts back. Annabeth laughs. Finally. Will glances at his watch. 

“I have like five minutes until I need to go“

“Enough for a little conversation“, Nico says, “How was your day?“

“Pretty good. I met up with Luke's ex-partner“  
Nico raises an eyebrow at him.   
“Partner as in co-worker“, Will explains.   
Nico visibly relaxes. 

“So, how was it?“  
Will tells him about it. Nico nods slowly.   
“I'm glad you got that off your chest“

“Yeah, me too“, Will laughs a little. He glances at his watch again and pushes himself off the counter he has been leaning against. “I gotta go“

Nico nods. “I'll walk you to the door“

He watches Will puts on his boots. “Stay safe tonight“

Will chuckles. “It's not a dangerous job, Neeks“

Nico shrugs. “Still“

Will pulls on his uniform jacket and puts his sandwich into his tote bag. “Okay, I will“

“I, uh, I actually...“, Nico begins, then trails off. Will raises his eyebrows. 

“Yeah?“

Nico opens his mouth, then shuts it again. Will can visibly see him think for a moment, before he moves closer. Nico cups his face in one hand, and - completely catching Will off guard - presses a small kiss to his cheek, almost to the corner of his mouth. Will's breathing hitches. 

“Sorry“, Nico mumbles as he pulls away. His hand lingers on Will's cheek a second even after his lips are gone. The skin he touched is tingling. Will's entire face is burning and his heart is going crazy. That did not just happen. Did that really just happen?

“Don't worry about it“, Will says, voice higher than usual. Nico smiles warmly. 

“I'll see you in the morning, okay?“

“Okay“, Will squeaks. He feels like he's floating for the rest of the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Im currently writing the last chapter and epilogue and im gonna upload it all over the next few days bc I just wanna be done with this tbh


	37. Chapter 37

Dr Zhang-Levesque is very happy to see Will is making such progress. 

“And how are you adapting to your medication?“ She asks after she finishes her notes. Will is pretty sure that woman has more material about him than the NSA and Facebook combined. 

“Pretty well, I'd say“, he replies. 

“Any side effects? Nausea, dizziness, issues sleeping?“

“Nightmares“, Will admits. “About Luke and what he's done to me. They were like memories“

Dr Zhang-Levesque takes more notes. “How frequent are they?“

Will thinks for a moment. “I used to have them every time I slept but now... I'd say every second night?“

“Night terrors are suspected to be a coping mechanism of the brain“, she explains. “My guess is that they will eventually stop. On a scale of one to ten, how bad are they?“

“Like a five, maybe a six? I can deal with them“

“Okiedokie“, she says, surprising Will with her moment of un-doctor-ness. He likes her more and more with each moment.  
“Then I'd say we only need to see each other every two weeks, with the progress you're making. Wouldn't you agree?“

“Uh, yeah, totally“, Will agrees. He does enjoy therapy, but he enjoys getting better even more. So this is completely fine by him. 

“Well, our time is up for today“, Dr Zhang-Levesque says after once again taking some fucking notes. “Marcus will give you your next appointment“

She walks him to the door and they say their goodbyes. Will meets Nico downstairs, he's agreed to pick him up. He left the tattoo parlor on his lunch break just for this. Will feels honored.

“How was it?“ Nico asks as he hands him his helmet. 

“Good. I'm making progress, she says“, Will says and struggles to helmet himself. Nico sighs and sets his own helmet down to help him.  
“Thanks“, Will says, voice now too muffled to understand. Nico knocks on his helmet - probably just to fuck with him because it's a really annoying sound - and mounts the bike. Will clumsily sits behind him and wraps his arms around Nico's waist. Nico gives him a moment to adjust, then they speed off. 

 

“We could make lunch before you have to go back to work“, Will suggests when they are home. “Something easy so it doesn't take too long“

Nico puts their helmet on the shelf in the basement garage. “Yeah, sure“, he smiles. 

They decide on just noodles and tomato sauce, because it's quick, it's easy and it's fucking delicious. 

“Annabeth told me you guys are planning on going shopping“, Nico mentions as he places the noodle-pot on the table. 

“Yeah. I need to replace like half of my wardrobe because I don't actually like what I wear“, Will explains. He takes Nico's plate and fills it with noodles until Nico raises a hand. Then he begins filling his own while Nico tends to the sauce. 

“And you seriously expected me not to tag along? Not invite the gay guy to the shopping trip?“ Nico asks, very obviously fake offended. Will laughs. 

“First of all, I am also gay, so there is a token gay for this activity“, Will replies, making Nico chuckle, “And second of all, I think Annabeth thought of that as like her-and-me-bonding time“

“Hmm“, Nico munches on his noodles, staring at the pot. “I get that“

Will thinks for a moment. “Let me take you out“, he says bluntly. 

Nico looks up, surprised. “What?“

“Let me take you out. This weekend“, Will repeats, a little surprised he actually said that. 

“On a date or just like that?“ Nico crooks his head a little. 

On a date. “What would you prefer?“, Will asks a little nervously. 

“A date“, Nico smiles.

 

Will gets a text from Ethan later. He's just finished washing the pots alone, because Nico's off to work. He has to dry his hands before he can check his phone and when he does, he almost drops it. 

'we have Lukes shooter in custody. U can talk to him now' 

Luke's killer. Will hasn't even thought about him yet. Like, at all. Like he knows how Luke died, he's aware it wasn't natural, that someone fucking killed him. But not once did he spare a single thought over the killer himself. Does he even WANT to talk to him? He definitely never wanted to before. But Will would like to know why. Why he did it. What went through his head, how he could live with himself after fucking killing a human being. But who knows how far this could set him back in his recovery. Or how much it could help... 

“Perce, do you think I should talk to the guy who killed Luke?“ Will asks completely out of the blue when they are playing scrabble on the deck later. Percy's just come home from work, Will has to go soon. It's their hanging-out-time. 

Percy looks up from completely butchering the word 'blanket'. “Excuse me?“

“Ethan texted me and said they have him in custody. I could talk to him“, Will repeats. 

“Huh“ Percy gives up on 'blanket' and reaches for the dictionary they always keep aside when playing scrabble. After all, even Annabeth is dyslexic.  
“Do you think it's a good idea?“

“Don't know“, Will shrugs and quickly googles the spelling of 'blanket'. Turns out it does not actually contain a D. Or a C.  
“I think it'd be interesting to have a little chat. But who knows what it might do to me“

“Honestly, you should do it“, Percy says as he tries to make a new word. Will wonders why they are even playing scrabble. They are definitely not good at it.  
“I think you'd regret it if you didn't“  
Percy has a point. 

They give up on scrabble. Neither of them knows why they played it in the first place. As they get out the playing cards, Percy suddenly says:  
“I can't believe I almost became a dad“

Will looks up from shuffling the cards, completely caught off guard.  
“So Annabeth finally told you?“

“Yeah“, Percy nods. “She told me you knew, so don't worry, it's all cool, it's just... I wouldn't mind a baby. But I have to agree with her that we're not ready“

“Tough choice to make“, Will agrees. He has no idea about babies. The possibility of be coming an uncle is enough for him right now. 

They're silent for a moment as Will deals out the cards. 

“So“, Percy asks as he picks up his cards. “You and Nico. How's it going?“

“I asked him out“, Will says. “During lunch today“

“Ooooh“, Percy howls. “Please tell me he said yes! Oh, who am I kidding, of course he did“  
He looks at Will, asking for confirmation. Will nods. Percy slaps a hand on the table.  
“Yes! Finally!“

It makes Will laugh. “I've been meaning to ask“, he begins. “What's it like to be in a long distance relationship for years and then you move in together?“

“At first we were annoying the shit out of each other“, Percy admits. He throws a card onto the pile and nods at Will. “Your turn. But we've adapted. Nothing can ruin us. Not even a pregnancy scare“

Will slaps a card onto Percy's. He envies them. Their relationship is stable. Healthy. Beautiful. Will wishes he had that. With Nico.

 

The next morning after work, Will asks the others what they think about talking to the killer. He's spent the last years of his life keeping stuff from his friends, so now he wants to share everything important with them. Communication is key. Also, he's still not sure what to do. 

“I think you should go“, Annabeth says, peeling an orange. She doesn't look as tired anymore. Good for her. Will is glad. 

“I don't know“, Nico comments from the breakfast bar. A whole bunch of sketches are spread out across the surface. “It might fuck you up“

“It might“, Will mumbles. “But I might regret not going“

“Just don't go alone then“, Annabeth says, throws away the orange peel and makes her way towards the stairs. As she takes the first few tsteps, she turns to them and calls: “Nico, accompany your boyfriend“

Will and Nico look at each other, both bright red. “Would that be okay?“ Nico asks. 

“What, you being my boyfriend or you accompanying me?“ Will half-jokes. 

“Me accompanying you“

“I'd like that, actually“, Will admits. 

A moment of silence, then Nico quietly asks. “And the second one?“

And in an even quieter voice, Will replies: “I'd like that, too“

“His name is Christopher Jordan, street name Kronos“, Ethan tells Will and Nico as he walks them to the holding cells in the station that afternoon. “We usually don't allow any visitors while we still have them in custody but Reyna- captain Ramírez-Arellano thought it might help if he met you. Put some pressure on him, ya know?“

“Psychological warfare“, Nico mumbles next to Will. “Nice“  
Will just squeezes his hand. Nico squeezes back.  
“You got this“

Will decides he feels brave enough to do this on his own. Nico can wait in the hall. He squeezes his hand one last time, then there's no turning back. 

“Hey, Kronos“, Ethan greets him coldly when he opens the door to his interrogation room. He pronounces 'Kronos' like it leaves a bitter taste in his mouth. “I brought you a visitor“  
He gestures for Will to take a seat and closes the door behind them. Will avoids looking at Kronos and sits. He already feels like he's about to tear his hair out. Ethan sits on the chair next to his, the back against his chest. He presses a button on a small recording device and sets it on the table.  
“Let me introduce you: Will, Kronos, Kronos, Will. Luke's ex-fiance.“

Will looks up to see Kronos' shocked expression. His voice is cold as he speaks, though.  
“Nice to meet you“

Will doesn't say anything. This guy seriously freaks him out. His blond hair and broad shoulders strangely resemble Luke. His eyes are different. Light brown. Almost golden. And so full of hatred it makes Will shiver. His hands are full of scars and playing with the handcuffs that chain him to the table. The metal clinking is the only sound in the room. They stare at each other for a while.  
“Why'd you do it?. Will finally asks. “Why did you kill him?“ His voice doesn't shake as much as he expected. 

“Because he was in my way“, Kronos replies, not a single emotion in his voice or on his face. “I needed that money“  
He immediately seems to realize what he just said and a moment of 'oh shit' flashes across his face.

“Thank you buddy“, Ethan says almost cheerfully. “That's a confession“  
He hits the button on the recording device again and looks at Will.  
“Do you fancy some more chat?“  
Will shakes his head. He can't wait to get away from this zombie-like Luke-clone.  
“Have fun in jail“, Ethan grins at Kronos and stands up. Will follows him out the door.

“How was it? Are you okay?“ Nico asks as soon as he spots Will. He rushes over, looking worried. He has to stand on his tippy toes so he can lay a hand on his cheek. Will blushes a little. 

“I'm fine, Neeks“, he mumbles. Nico's hand lingers on his cheek just a little too long. 

“We got a confession out of it“, Ethan says next to them. Will actually forgot he's still there for a second. “Surprisingly fast. I guess being locked up for two days and then meeting your victim's fiance does stuff even to him“

“EX-fiance“, Will corrects him. Nico takes his hand again, just squeezing it and saying nothing. 

They head home pretty quickly because Ethan now has work to do and a police station is not a fun place to hang out. Will doesn't even realize how tense his shoulders are until Nico tells him to relax once they are out on the street.

“How are you feeling?“, Nico asks, rubbing his shoulders. 

“Okay, actually“, Will admits. “The strange thing is, I don't hate Kronos for doing this. For killing Luke. I'm almost grateful to be honest. If Luke didn't die, I would have probably never been able to get out of that relationship“ He scratches the back of his head. “Like objectively, I know killing is wrong but still...“, he shrugs. 

Nico nods slowly. “I think I understand“  
He takes Will's hand again as they walk to the subway station. They actually did not take the bike for once because traffic is insane today.  
“What was he like?“

Will tries to describe Kronos as good as he can. “I'm glad he's so... inhumane, to be honest. He doesn't seem to feel bad about it. That's comforting“

“Why is it comforting?“ Nico asks while they walk down the stairs to the station.

“Because I don't feel bad about it, either“, Will admits. “Not really“

“I'm glad you got to meet him“, Nico says after a moment of thinking. “I never met Bianca's murderer. But I think it would have helped me make my peace with it“  
He does not comment on what Will just said at all. Will knows he doesn't need to. He knows Nico understands. Making his peace is something literally everyone has talked to him about since Luke's death. And he's never understood what they mean by that until now. In this very moment on the subway, sitting next to Nico, hands laced together, heart so strangely light, he realizes: 

He's made his peace with Luke. Not just his death, but Luke himself. He's over it. It's all in the past now. He can carry on. He's ready.


	38. Chapter 38

Annabeth insists on taking Will shopping the day after. For the sake of recovery, she claims. It signifies a new beginning. Also, she needs some new stuff herself, especially with Will's siblings coming over to meet all of them soon. Will does not complain. He's gotten a little bit of money out of selling some of the furniture from the apartment, Luke's life insurance and his bank account and feels no shame in using it to buy essential things like dungarees. For someone who spends their days in denim cutoffs, hoodies and sneakers, Annabeth knows a surprising amount about clothes. Prior to their trip to what feels like every single shop in New York, she has spent at least half an hour going through Will's pinterest and ultimately determined that Will is going to look like some gay artist's tumblr archive and that that's a good thing. She also insists she's definitely over not being pregnant when Will dares to ask, just like Percy did.

 

Will believes them until they bring home the dog.

“Her name is Mrs. O'Leary“, Percy explains to a wide-eyed Will and moderately confused Nico.   
“She used to be my co-worker's and now she's ours“

Mrs. O'Leary pants up at them, her tail wagging like crazy. Will reaches out and awkwardly pets her head. She licks his hand. Will is glad is job made him immune to disgust towards body fluids. 

“You guys are NOT over the baby-thing“, Nico says to Annabeth, who just entered the living room behind Percy and the dog. 

“This is our baby“, she counters, setting the box of dog-things she's holding down on the ground. 

“But why does she have to be so big?“ Will asks. He is now sitting on the ground with Mrs O'Leary licking his face. 

“She's just full of love“, Percy defends her (and himself for bringing her home) and scratches her behind the ears. 

Nico snorts. “C'mon“, he looks at Annabeth. “I need you to help me pick out an outfit for tonight. And you-“ he nudges Will's shoulder. Percy and Annabeth exchange glances. “You better shower. I'm not touching you, if you're still full of drool later“  
Then he and Annabeth disappear upstairs. 

“'Touching you', hmm?“ Percy teases Will. Will leans back a little, trying to avoid the dog's tongue. It barely works. 

“Shut up“, he mumbles, bright red. Percy laughs. 

“Where are you taking him?“

“The museum of natural history“, Will replies and gets up from the carpet somehow. “He mentioned he likes taxidermy and bones and stuff“

“Oh, he does“, Percy agrees. “Good choice“   
He wiggles his eyebrows. “And then he can touch you. Even more than usual“

Will playfully kicks his him. “Shut up“

“C'mon, your hands are practically glued together!“ Percy teases. He gets up from the ground and begins unpacking the box of dog-things. Will strolls over to help him. Mrs. O'Leary has fallen asleep on the carpet. 

 

Since Annabeth has helped Nico and not Will (traitor!), he takes a little longer to get dressed. He decides on his new dungarees, a mustard yellow sweater and his white converse. Also, a small rainbow bracelet Austin gave him when he came out at sixteen. Luke always teased him for liking bracelets, but now Will is embracing it. Nico seems to agree. 

“I like your bracelet“, he comments when Will knocks on his door. He is wearing black jeans, a dark grey flannel tied around his hips and a black t-shirt that says 'no'. 

“I like your shirt“, Will smiles. Nico smiles back. Will holds out his hand.  
“You ready?“

They take the subway again.   
“Where are you taking me, sunshine?“ Nico asks. He's holding Will's hand. Their arms are swinging a little as they walk the last few metres. 

“You'll see“, Will replies. Nico grumbles a little, but he's not serious about it. They walk around one last corner and Nico spots the museum. 

“A museum date? Will, could you be more adorable?“

Will blushes a little. “It's full of taxidermy and bones. I thought you'd like it“ 

Nico laughs and pulls Will along up the stairs and trough the museum's doors.   
The entry hall is relatively small with white floor tiles and wooden wall panels. A lion's skeleton is on display in the middle of the room and a flock of taxidermied birds is hanging from the ceiling. Luckily, Nico gets distracted by the lion so Will can pay without having to fight him about it.  There isn't really a line because the museum is fairly small and the weather outside is quite nice so he's back within less than two minutes. 

“Ready?“ He asks when he walks back over to Nico. 

“I still need to-“ Nico trails off when he sees the tickets in Will's hand. “I wanted to pay!“

Will laughs and takes Nico's hand. “I'm taking you out, I'm paying“

Nico rolls his eyes, but he's smiling. 

They stroll through the museum, holding hands, blushing a little. They don't really talk, except for small comments like “Wow, look at it's eyes“ (Nico), “That's too many teeth“ (Will) and “I dare you to eat one of them“ (Nico and he meant a collection of organs in mason jars. Will refused). The museum has a little cafe included, where they sit down for a hot cocoa. Nico plays with Will's hand across the table. There's a faint imprint where the engagement ring used to be. 

“What did you do with the ring?“ He asks quietly. 

“Gave it back to his mother when I drove to her place“, Will replies. He didn't stay long. May Castellan is not fun to be around. “Why do you ask?“

“Just out of interest“, Nico mumbles. He lets go of Will's hand and wraps his fingers around his mug. “I, uh“ he smiles nervously. “I've been meaning to ask you something“

Could it be? Will nods slowly. “Yeah sure“, his cheeks are heating up. “Go ahead“

“Okay, I know we said we need time to heal“, Nico begins, his knuckles turning white on his mug.  He's blushing. Their eyes meet. Will wipes his sweaty hands on his pants and lays them on the table again.   
“And I know we both still have a lot to deal with“, Nico continues. “But-“  
He reaches out and takes Will's hand. His is just as sweaty. Will's heart is beating like crazy. Oh god. This is really happening!   
“I really like you and I feel like we're ready“  
Nico takes a deep breath.   
“Will, sunshine, will you be my boyfriend?“

“Yes“, Will whispers, overwhelmed. Then, louder, “Yes!“ 

In less than a second, Nico is out of his seat and practically in Will's lap, kissing him. Oh god, Nico is kissing him, he's actually kissing him- Will's heart feels like it's about to leap out of his chest. This can't be real, it's too good to be real. But it is, it's actually happening! And Nico's lips against his, his hands on his cheeks, Will can feel him smile. They pull away, just breathing for a few seconds. Will is suddenly glad that the museum is this empty.

“I actually have something for you“, Nico mumbles when he sits back down in his seat. They're holding hands across the table again.  Will raises his eyebrows as he pulls out a small packet from his back pocket. He hands it to Will. 

“Sunflower seeds?“ Will reads the label, smiling. 

“I thought giving you flowers was too cheesy, so maybe we could plant some together“, Nico mumbles, blushing heavily. 

Will laughs a little. “That's adorable, Neeks!“   
Nico just gives him one of his awkward crooked smiles, the ones that make Will's heart melt. 

 

They plant the sunflowers in the garden, together. Nico is a surprisingly good gardener and even though planting a bunch of seeds is not that complicated, Will is impressed. 

“I can't believe we actually made it“, Will mumbles when they are laying in the glass later. 

“What, plant the seeds?“ Nico asks next to him. The sun is slowly setting, but it's still warm. Nico's body warmth is also definitely helping. 

“No“, Will chuckles. “Becoming a couple. I never thought it could actually happen“

“Well, it did“, Nico mumbles and edges a little closer. His fingers slip between Will's.   
“Do you wanna hear something that's either cute or pathetic or both?“ He asks after a moment of silence. 

“Sure“, Will replies and closes his eyes. This moment is perfect. 

“You were actually my first kiss“, Nico quietly admits. Will opens his eyes again. 

“Really?“  
He's a little surprised. He knows Nico is still a virgin but he did not expect this. 

“Yeah“, Nico whispers. 

“That's really cute“, Will mumbles. His eyes drift shut again. Not because he's tired but because this is so peaceful. He almost says it. On accident. I love you. What a powerful thing to say. But it's true. He loves him. He's sure. Still, he's not going to say it yet. He doesn't know if Nico's there yet. And pressure is the last thing he wants for this relationship. He wants this to be healthy and loving and full of communication and consent. He wants to do it right. And he will. 

They decide to sleep in Nico's room tonight. As usual, Nico has no problem undressing in front of Will, but Will still has a tough time being topless sometimes. He takes a deep breath before finally yanking his sweater over his head. 

“Hey“, Nico says softly from beside him. “You look perfect, okay?“

Will nods a little, instinctively covering his scar with his arms. Nico looks at him, sighs and walks over to his desk. Will watches him grab a pen, then he is being pushed onto the bed. 

“Sit.“ Nico orders and uncaps the pen. Will focusses on the typical felt-tip-pen-smell combined with the ever present pomegranates when Nico begins drawing on his skin. He tries not to stare too hard at Nico's tattoos right in front of his face. Out of instinct, he presses a small kiss to his chest. Nico stops, chuckles, leans down to kiss Will, then continues drawing.

“What are you drawing?“ 

“You'll see“, Nico mumbles and lays a hand on Will's shoulder for balance. Will's breathing hitches. “Don't worry. You'll like it“  
Then he moves down to draw on the scar. 

Will does like what he sees in the mirror when Nico pulls him to the bathroom. 

“Oh wow“, he whispers and turns a little so he can see the art on his shoulder better. Nico has turned his freckles into small constellations. 

“That one is Percy's“, Nico mumbles and lays a finger on the spot. “That's Annabeth's“ he moves his finger. “That's mine“

Will lays his hand on Nico's. They stay like that for a second. Then Will moves on to his scar. Nico has covered it in flowers. Sunflowers. Will traces a finger over them, then spins around, grabs Nico by the shoulders and kisses him. Nico chuckles into the kiss. 

“Do you like it?“ He whispers. 

Will blinks away some tears. He stares at himself in the mirror. He's honestly never felt this beautiful.   
“I love it“, he whispers. His hand finds Nico's and he holds it. “It's perfect“

It is. This is perfect.


	39. Chapter 39

Will somehow manages to actually get everyone who's important to him in one place at the same time. The next weekend, they all meet for a little garden party at the house. Everyone's there: Austin (for once not in uniform), Michael (unfortunately without Nessa because she's on a seminar), Kayla and Lou Ellen. And, big suprise, Jason is here! He actually got the job in New York and promptly, he and his girlfriend Piper moved their asses here and are now staying in their guest bedroom until they can find a place. 

Luckily, they're all adults (even Percy, who would have thought), so everyone contributes some food. Still, Will spends quite some time in the kitchen beforehand. Everyone has agreed that a big ass pot of spaghetti is what they should have tonight. Because they might be adults, but spaghetti is the way to go. Percy makes his blue cake, Annabeth just steals a cookie and disappears into her office again and Nico actually helps, bless him. Well, sorta. He wraps his arm around Will's waist from behind while Will is cutting vegetables for the sauce. 

“Hey sunshine“, he mumbles. Will lays his hand on Nico's for a second. 

“What's up?“

“Not much“ 

Something is up. He can hear it. Will puts the knife down and turns around. He looks down at Nico, eyebrows raised.   
“What's wrong?“

“I'm just nervous“, Nico admits. “To meet your family“

Will leans in to kiss his forehead. “They're just my siblings. There's no need to be nervous“

Nico shrugs. “Still“

Will pulls him into a hug. Nico melts into it, like he always does, his hair tickling Will's chin.   
“Don't worry“, he mumbles. “It'll be okay“

Nico nods against his shoulder. Something loudly splashes outside. Then Will can hear Jason yell. Apparently the dog got into the kiddie pool again. The pool was Percy's idea. No one was surprised when he showed up with it yesterday. 

“Hey, can someone get this hellhound?“ Jason calls from outside. Nico laughs a little and detaches himself from Will, who's also chuckling. 

“I'll go help“  
He steals a smalls kiss before leaving the kitchen.

 

Michael is the first one to arrive for their little get-together. Will is the one to open the door and is immediately tackled with a hug. 

“God, you look like a gay artist's tumblr“, Michael comments when he pulls away. “I like it!“

“Thanks“, Will laughs. “Come in“

Michael picks up the bottle of wine he's set down to enable ultimate hug power and enters the house.   
“Wow, this place is nice!“ 

“Thanks“, Annabeth says from the stairs. There is a quick round of introductions, full of 'Oh, I've heard so much about you' and 'Wow, you and Will really look alike' (they get that a lot). 

“And this is my boyfriend Nico“, Will is finally able to say his favorite sentence. Nico holds out his hand for Michael to shake, but Michael just pulls him into a hug. Nico makes a small sound of amusement, then hugs him back. 

Will's other siblings react to Nico just as warmly. Kayla gives him one of her loving hugs and even makes him smile. Austin (who's late as usual) pulls Nico into a bear hug and loudly announces that “this boy is part of the family now!“   
The entire room agrees by cheering him on. 

“So, Neeks“, Will asks his boyfriend after introductions are over (he still can't believe that's what they are: boyfriends). “How do you like them?“

“Well, I don't know yet-“ Nico begins and starts laughing when he picks up on Will's worried expression. “I'm kidding, Will. They're great“

Will lets out a sigh of relief and playfully pushes Nico. Nico just kisses his shoulder. There's a loud splashing sound outside, followed by a screech: Austin and Jason have started a splashing fight. 

“Oh hell no!“ Piper shouts and ditches Annabeth to help her boyfriend out.

“Help!“ Austin screeches, no under attack from two people and the dog, who's decided to join in. She does seem to be a neutral party though, because she's just splashing everyone involved. 

Will judges Nico's shoulder. “You wanna help him?“

Nico looks at him in surprise. “Me?“

“No, my other boyfriend. Yes, you“

Nico thinks for a moment. “You know what, sure“  
He hops off the counter.   
“Hey, Perce!“ he calls on his way to the door.   
“Let's end Jason!“

Percy immediately starts making his way towards the glass sliding door. “Your end is near, blond Superman!“

Everyone laughs. Will walks over to Kayla, Lou Ellen and Annabeth, who have gathered on the deck to watch the spectacle. 

“So we have our appointment on Tuesday“, Kayla was just saying to Annabeth when Will joins the conversation. 

“For the baby-thing?“ He asks and Kayla nods. 

“Ah yes, the baby-thing“, Annabeth mocks him. “It's called a pregnancy, Will“

Will rolls his eyes at her, but he's not serious. That's just how he and Annabeth interact. She laughs and ruffles his hair. 

“Will, I was told you finally got tattooed“ Kayla changes the subject. 

“Oh yeah, like two days ago“ Will nods. “So it's healing“

“Can we see?“ Lou Ellen asks in the exact same pleading voice Kayla likes to use. Will is a little impressed. 

“Sure“, he says and pulls up his shirt, revealing his stomach. 

“Oh wow, it's beautiful!“ Lou Ellen bends down a little to get a closer look. “Who did it?“

“Nico“, Will replies, a little pride showing. “He's a tattoo artist. It's his design, too“

Beautifully detailed sunflowers are blooming on his abdomen, complety covering his scar. 

 

They all gather on the deck to eat. The table there is definitely too small, so Percy and Piper have brought out an old desk from the basement, Piper's and Jason's dinner table and they borrowed a small table from the neighbors. Also, as many chairs as they could find. Will brings out his big ass pot of Bolognese sauce and the even bigger pot of noodles (both pots borrowed from the neighbors). Will sits with Michael and Nico at Percy's old desk. The dinner table next to them - Jason, Percy, Austin and Piper - is definitely the loudest one. They are currently discussing the best strategy for winning a Quidditch game. Percy and Austin are loudly arguing against Jason and Piper, whose strategy is definitely more thought through. The borrowed table is Annabeth, Kayla and Lou Ellen, who are the least likely to leave any stains on a table that isn't theirs. 

“Hey, Will do you still have that Ukulele?“ Kayla calls over. 

“Yeah, why?“

“Could I borrow it? Just for today?“ 

“Hey, what?“ Austin asks from his table. “Ukulele? Are we singing?“

“Oh, you totally should!“ Lou Ellen exclaims. 

“Ugh, please no“, Michaek Michael groans. He's the only Solace sibling who doesn't really embrace his musical talent. 

To his dismay, they end up doing a little concert, like they used to do at family parties as children. Will has his ukulele, Austin just repeatedly hits a wooden chair's seating surface and the rest just sings. Everyone else ends up joining him, Piper, Annabeth, Percy, Jason, even Nico, who has a surprisingly good voice. Will keeps messing up his chords because he just stares at Nico all the time, so much that Michael eventually takes the ukulele and plays. Will can't help it, Nico is just so beautiful! With his swirly tattoos and sparkling eyes... his lips, his hands, his skin. Will is completely and utterly in love. He's fallen for him.

Late at night, when his siblings have all left, the six housemates are letting the evening fade away in the garden. Piper and Jason have helped Will with the dishes, because they're polite. Now they're all sitting on the grass, just hanging out, no one really speaking. The noise of the New York traffic is behind the house and all around them. Piper is between Jason's legs - leg, her head leaning against his chest, her eyes closed. She looks so at peace. Annabeth and Percy are leaning against the deck, their shoulders touching, their hands clasped together tightly. 

And Nico, Nico is in Will's arms, his head on his shoulder. Will can feel his breath against his skin. It tingles. In a good way. Will hasn't felt this peaceful in a long time. This okay. This happy. This in love. 

Percy and Annabeth are the first ones to go to bed, then Piper and Jason. She helps him up the stairs, which takes a while. Will and Nico are left outside. It's getting chilly. 

“Your room or mine?“ Nico mumbles against Will's neck. 

“Yours, mine faces the street“, Will mumbles back. 

“Good point“, Nico presses a small kiss to his neck, then gets up. “C'mon“

Will groans and stumbles to his feet. They close the sliding door when they get in and shut off all the lights. Piper is giggling in the guest bedroom when they walk by it. Nico shoots Will a small smile, giggling. Will puts his finger up to his lips. 

“You tired yet?“ Nico asks when the bedroom door closes behind them. 

“Not really“, Will shrugs. 

“Me neither“, Nico begins taking his skinny jeans off. It clearly takes some effort, because he ends up falling backwards on the bed and just kicking his legs in the air. Will has to step in and pull the pants off his boyfriend. Boyfriend. That feels so good to say. 

“So, how'd you like my siblings?“ He asks when they have won the battle against the pants of doom. Those can't be comfortable. 

“They're fucking nuts“, Nico pulls his shirt over his head. “I love them“

And I love you. Will doesn't dare say it yet. But he really wants to.   
“That's good because they clearly like you“, he says instead and slips off his jeans. He does not require any help with that. Not with his shirt either.

Nico kisses his cheek. “That's good, yeah“  
They get comfortable on the bed, Nico tucked against Will's side, and listens to the crickets outside. Will chews on his lip. He has so much he wants Nico to know, not just the magic three words, but he doesn't know why. Communication is just.not his cup of tea.   
“What are you thinking about?“ Nico mumbles. 

How convenient. “You“, Will whispers. Wow, way to go, Will. Fucking talk to him. “That you make me happy“

“You make me happy, too“, Nico mumbles and kisses Will's neck. 

“But not just happy“, Will continues. Here he goes. “With Luke, I always felt so dirty. But with you... I feel clean. Beautiful. You know?“  
Nico nods ever so lightly. Will can feel him breath. He listens to it for a moment. “I didn't know relationships could feel so good. I didn't know being in love could feel so good“  
There. He practically said it. It's out. Nico doesn't say anything. He shifts, propping himself up on his elbow so he can look Will in the eye. His lips are curved into this little smile that always makes Will smile. This time it does, too. 

“Did you just imply you love me?“ Nico mumbles, his eyes twinkling. Will shrugs a little, nervous. Nico chuckles, leans in, kisses him softly.   
“Oh, Will“, he whispers against his lips before kissing him again. And then, a little louder:  
“I love you, too“


	40. Epilogue

“Sunshine!“ Nico calls from the deck. Will looks up to see his fiance emerge from the glass sliding door to the living room, a baby bottle in his hand. “I have the bottle ready!“

Will waves at him to come here, because standing up is tough when you're sitting on the grass with a baby in your lap. Nico walks over and instead of just handing Will the bottle he sits down. 

“Let me feed her this time“, he says and leans the bottle against his thigh, then holds out his arms. Will gladly hands over his niece. She was becoming a little heavy anyway. Nico flashes him a smile and begins feeding her with practiced motions; they've been babysitting a lot recently. Neither of them is complaining about it. 

With a smile on his lips, Will watches Nico feed the baby. His hair is falling into his eyes, he hasn't tied it up properly. He's wearing Will's yellow sweater, it's slipping off his shoulder. He's rolled up the sleeves, exposing his forearms and the newest tattoo; a sun. His feet are bare, his jeans rolled up around the ankles. The ring is glistening on his finger. Will can't believe his luck.   
“Hey, Neeks?“

“Hmm?“ Nico looks up for a second, smiling. His cheeks are a little rosy, he looks healthy for once. A few freckles have appeared. 

“I love you“, Will whispers and tucks a loose strand behind Nico's ear. Nico smiles at him, making Will's heart melt. 

“I love you too“, he whispers back and Will gets lost in his black eyes for a small moment before Nico turns his attention back to the baby. They could stay like this forever; on the grass together, baby in their arms, the dog sleeping at their feet. Will's humming a little tune, Nico is whispering little things to the baby. It's perfect. 

Kayla's a little late to pick up her daughter, which surprises no one.   
“Hello Daphne, my little fairy princess“, she coos as Nico hands her over.   
“Will, I'll see you tonight, okay?“ She asks when she grabs the nappy bag. Will nods. They're having dinner with their parents tonight. It's become a regular thing. Sometimes with Nico, sometimes without him. Tonight, he'll be there. 

“Hey, Nico, your dad called“, Annabeth says from the kitchen after Kayla has left. “Something about room decorations“

“Jesus, that man can't decide anything for himself“ Nico groans but Will can tell he's not serious. He walks around the counter and grabs his cell phone from Annabeth's hand. 

“You need to stop leaving your shit around“, she scolds him. “I'm eight months pregnant, I can't clean up after you five all the time“

“Sorry“, Nico blows her a kiss. She rolls her eyes. Will checks the clock on the wall. 

“Neeks, we have to go now if we want to make it back in time“

 

“So... It's been two years today“, Will says to the tombstone. The tombstone doesn't reply. Will sighs and lays down the bouquet of sunflowers he's brought. Nico silently holds his hand.   
“I officially don't hate you anymore“, he says after just standing there and saying nothing for a long time. “I'm over it. You don't affect me anymore“  
He considers kicking the headstone but decides it's not worth the effort.   
“I got engaged“, he tells the tombstone. “This time because I wanted it. Because I love him“  
Then he stares again. For what seems like ages. Nico just runs his thumb over Will's. He knows he doesn't need to speak right now. Will just needs his comfort.   
“I hope you're at peace“, he mumbles. “Because I am“  
He crouches down and adjusts the flowers a little. Nico squeezes his hand in solidarity.  
“Bye, Luke“

Then they turn around and leave. And Will doesn't look back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo its done! Finally! I gotta admit I feel like the last few chapters are a little weird like the middle is the best part... and I had a very different ending planned but Will did kinda deserve to be happy... I have a whole bunch of concepts lying around some are for Solangelo so lets see whatll be next!   
> Also thank you to everyone who read this! Careful is my first big story ever and a lot of feeling and bad past went into this so I'm really touched whenever I read your lovely comments :D


End file.
